Author: Wade, Jena
Date: 2018-05-12

Just A Year

Jena Wade

Copyright © May 2018 by Jena Wade

All rights reserved. This copy is intended for the original purchaser of this e-book ONLY. No part of this e-book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without prior written permission from the author. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author's rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

Image/art disclaimer: Licensed material is being used for illustrative purposes only. Any person depicted in the licensed material is a model.

Cover Design by Silver Heart Design Studio www.silverheartstudio.com

Published in the United States of America

This e-book is a work of fiction. While reference might be made to actual historical events or existing locations, the names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

www.thejenawade.com

Warning

This e-book contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language and may be considered offensive to some readers. Jena Wade’s e-books are for sale to adults ONLY, as defined by the laws of the country in which you made your purchase. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.

Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Other Titles by Jena Wade

Jena Wade

Just A Year

Just a year is too much time to spend apart from the man you love, but Seth has a carefully crafted plan for how to make it work. Taking an internship four hours away from Maddox may not have been the smartest choice Seth has ever made, but he is determined to make it work. Until life throws a wrench in his plans and turns his and Maddox’s world upside down.

Chapter One

May

Just a year. No more, no less. Three hundred sixty-five days. Five hundred, twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes.

Great, now I would have the Rent soundtrack playing in my head throughout the entire ceremony.

I took a deep breath and focused on the commencement speaker. After five long years, the last one and a half being the longest by far, I’d finished my degree. No more term papers, no more eight a.m. classes, no more all-nighters in the library so I could have a homework free weekend with my boyfriend.

Maddox.

He sat out there in the crowd with my parents. I felt his eyes on me, but I couldn’t see him. I’m not even sure which section they were in. The Breslin Center was filled to the brim with graduates and their families. All waiting for their individual name to be called so they could walk across the stage and collect a fake diploma. The real one wouldn’t arrive in the mail for a few weeks.

Just a year. That wasn’t that long, was it?

Maddox and I had survived the past year and a half getting to know each other over Skype and Facetime, chatting, Snapchatting, the works. Thank God for the digital age. On the rare occasions that we physically saw each other, well, I mean, I don’t really have to explain how those encounters went.

Jobs right out of college were hard to come by, everyone knew that. Maddox would understand.

Just a year.

“Seth Brown, Masters of Science in Marketing Research.”

I took a deep breath, walked across the stage, accepted my fake diploma from the university president, smiled for a picture and then I was done.

Five years, would have been six if I hadn’t busted my ass taking summer courses, done.

I smiled as I looked around the crowd, searching for Maddox.  He’d make this whole thing worthwhile. It was his idea for me to walk at graduation. I was all set to skip it, but he insisted that I needed to do the traditional thing, and he and my parents would drive up for a nice visit.

Against the odds, I found him. His pink spiked hair stood out. How could it not? He grinned and waved frantically.

Worth it. Totally worth it. I would do anything to see that smile. To earn that smile.

Let’s hope it stayed in place after I told him about the job offer.

Just a year.

* * * *

Like every restaurant in East Lansing on graduation night, The State Room was packed. We waited forty-five minutes for our table. I desperately tried to keep my hands to myself. Maddox looked irresistible in his blue suit and pink hair. It almost made me think of cotton candy, and I had one hell of a sweet tooth.

But, alas, my parents were with us. There would be time for fun later.

Maddox and I were going to stay in town for the next week, packing up my belongings and then making the drive home to West Virginia together.

The hostess sat us near the window, giving us a view of the dorms I had lived in my freshmen year. Good ol’ Brody Hall.

“The commencement speaker did a nice job. Don’t you think, Seth?” My mom asked.

“Yeah, definitely.” I hadn’t been listening. Whoops. I should have known there would be a quiz.

Maddox snickered, and I stuck my tongue out at him from across the table.

We’d been in the same city for nearly five hours and I hadn’t gotten a chance to kiss him yet. I licked my lips just thinking of the taste of him. His gazed dropped from my eyes to my mouth, and I knew he could read my mind at that moment.

Check please. If only.

The waitress came around, taking our orders. I chose the seared sea scallops while Maddox went for the asparagus ravioli.

“Have you accepted a job yet? Maddox mentioned that you received offers from your two top picks.” Dad asked.

Oh, that was a subject I wanted to keep off limits. “Well, sort of. I mean—” I bit my lip and caught Maddox gaze. He shot me a puzzled look.

To hell with it. “I decided to go with the company in Pittsburgh.” I spoke quickly, wanting Maddox to understand my reasoning as soon as possible. “They’re a great company. If I can get a good recommendation from their VP of Marketing, then I can get a job anywhere. It’s just a year, then I plan to find a position closer to home.”

“You have a position closer to home. The company in Charleston sounded awesome, and it wouldn’t be a terrible commute,” Maddox said.

I wish we’d gotten a chance to discuss this before now. I hated that we had an audience. I could feel my parent’s eyes watching the two of us.

“I know, and I’ll keep that place in mind later, but for now I think this is the right career move for me.” I bit back discussing how it fit into my grand plan. Maddox would not want to hear that.

My mom looked at Maddox, then at me, then back to Maddox. “I’m sure it will all work out. Pittsburg isn’t too far of a drive.”

My dad patted Maddox on the shoulder. “We’ll keep you plenty busy around the store. You won’t even have time to miss Seth.” He smiled.

Maddox laughed. “You just want more time off, so you can fly that damn drone around.”

Mom rolled her eyes.

“Dad, you have a drone?” I hated missing so much being far away at school. Seemed like every other week Maddox and my dad were doing something fun and exciting. Last year Maddox had even convinced my dad to try out the skate park. Of course, that had resulted in a broken wrist, so maybe their antics weren’t always the best, but they’d always seemed like fun from five hundred miles away.

“The company sent a demo drone to keep in the store, so people would order them. I had to try it out.”

“I call dibs on that as soon as I get home.”

Home. Who knew after five years of college and two degrees I would still be calling Milton, West Virginia my home.

It was though. Mostly because that’s where Maddox was, and he didn’t want to move.

I’d foolishly suggested that he move to Michigan while I attended college, but he’d shot that down. “Milton’s my home, Seth,” he’d said with so much conviction that I couldn’t argue. He loved living in Milton. Sometimes I thought he liked my parents more than I did.

Dinner continued onto another subject. I talked about my final classes, and the mini road trip Maddox and I planned to take. Nothing exciting really. We planned to pack up the last of my belongings and head out sometime in the next few days. My parents were leaving tomorrow, bright and early.

Maddox didn’t know that I’d planned a surprise trip to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cincinnati and a wicked cool skate park.

We finished dinner and said goodnight to my parents. I loved them, but damn, I was ready to be alone with my boyfriend. It had been, four months, no five months. I’d had to cut my winter vacation short because of my capstone project, and Maddox had been busy working at the store or the diner throughout the week and doing odd jobs during the weekends.

Late night skype sessions were as intimate as we had been in quite a while.

That would change tonight.

I drove to my apartment. Both roommates had already moved out, so we would be totally alone. As soon as I pulled into my parking spot, I cut the engine and hopped out.

Maddox wasn’t far behind. His hands landing on my shoulders, caressing, as I unlocked the door. Once we were safely inside, away from any prying eyes, I pounced.

I pushed Maddox against the closed door. My mouth locked on his, his hands roamed my body, slipping into my shirt. Sweet heaven, it had been too long. He brushed his fingertips over my nipples and I drew in a breath. I had almost forgotten what it felt like to have another person’s hands on me. We paused long enough to pull off our shirts, tossing them to the floor.

I followed him to the bedroom. I kicked off my shoes along the way, following his trail of discarded clothing.

In the bedroom, Maddox lay on the bed. He smiled wickedly. I knew what he had in mind. Usually he topped, but tonight I could see it in his eyes. My turn.

Most of my stuff was packed, but I’d left out the essentials. Right next to the bed, where they always were. I grabbed the lube, popped the cap and drizzled a bit on to my fingers. Maddox, on his back, pulled his knees to his chest. I placed myself between his legs, my slicked fingers circling his hole.

He winced at the cold, and I kissed him. Distraction worked best in this situation. We kissed, mouths molding together, tongues meeting.

I sunk two fingers in to his heat and he thrust his hips upward, driving my fingers deeper.

I chuckled. “Patience, baby.”

“Been too long.” He bit out the words between clenched teeth. His hand went to his hard, dripping cock. I pushed it away.

“I know.”

I licked his shaft, swirling my tongue around the head. He moaned. I knew it drove him crazy, that’s why I did it.

Three fingers now. My dick hardened even more and leaked like a sieve.

“Ready. Please.” He grabbed the condom from the nightstand and tossed it at me. “Now.”

“Pushy bottom.” I slipped the rubber on to my cock and lined up with his hole. I pushed and we both held our breath until I was balls deep.

Maddox rocked beneath me, but I held him still. I needed to savor this. I buried my face into his neck, breathing in his scent. He moaned and thrust his hips, his fingers dug into my back, pulling me deeper.

I got the message. I moved, pumping my hips. No matter the distance between us, Maddox and I always shared this connection. Love. The pure happiness we could always find in one another.

“Oh shit, not gonna last.” Maddox pinched his eyes closed and his hand went to his dick, jacking it to the rhythm of my hips.

I kissed him again, wanting that connection when we both came. I was just as close as he was. Maybe more so.

I thrust again, rubbing against his prostate. Warm spurts of cum hit my neck as Maddox tensed beneath me. More drops hit my chest and his stomach. It threw me over the edge. I came, hard, in to the condom with one last plunge into his tight heat.

I held myself up on shaky arms, not wanting to crush him. After a few deep breaths, I slipped out of him and rolled to his side. I held his hand.

“That was nice,” I said. Smooth. Thank God Maddox knew what I really meant. That was perfection, indescribable bliss.

He still breathed heavily against me, so instead of speaking he squeezed my hand.

After a long moment, I got up, disposed of the condom then cleaned myself. Maddox did the same.

We lay back on the bed together, our breath evening out so that we were in sync. Unspoken words filled the air, and I knew Maddox was thinking about the job I’d taken in Pittsburgh.

“I want—" He started, then broke off. He moved away from me on the bed until we weren’t touching anymore. I missed him immediately. Felt empty without him close to me. “I wish you had talked with me about the job. I understand how important it is, but I didn’t realize we were going to be so far apart again.”

Damn it. “I know. I’m sorry. I had to make a decision and the company in Pittsburgh will look better on my resume. It’s only a four-hour drive. That’s nothing compared to the seven hours it takes to get here from home.” As if that helped.

Maddox sighed, his face reflecting a sadness I felt down to my core. “It’s only a year.” I took a deep breath. “You could always come there with me you know.”

His gaze shot to my face, and he narrowed his eyes. “No. I can’t. I like Milton. It’s my home. And, honestly, I don’t think your dad can run the store without me anymore.”

I startled at that. “What?”

“I’ve been taking over more and more of the responsibilities lately, and he’s been slowing down quite a bit. I think he might want to retire soon. We’ve talked about me buying into the store as a partner.”

Now my mind spun out of control, the conversation turn giving me whiplash. “He can’t retire. He—You—. Do you even want to own the store? I mean, you don’t seem like—” I stopped myself. If there was one thing I’d learned from Maddox in the past year, it’s that you don’t judge a book by its cover.

He shrugged. “Maybe. I like the hardware. I like helping people and being a part of the community. I’m good at the bookwork.”

I yawned. The day’s events finally catching up with me. I tried to stifle the yawn, so Maddox didn’t see. I failed. We needed to discuss this, but I wasn’t even sure how to begin. The information about my dad threw me for a loop, and I hadn’t quite landed yet.

Maddox smiled and cuddled next to me. I felt complete again with our skin touching.  “We can talk about all this another time. I don’t want to spoil the night with all this serious talk.” He kissed my cheek. “Congratulations on your graduation, babe.”

“Thanks.” My eyes drifted closed, no longer able to hold themselves open, and I drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Two

June

“You know, I really don’t think it will be too bad. I mean, the last year and a half has flown by. This next one will too,” Maddox said.

I nodded, keeping my eyes on the road. After staying a week at my apartment, Maddox and I had boxed up the last of my belongings, sold my furniture, and headed toward Milton. Crazy to think that I could still fit all my belongings in my car.

“And,” Maddox continued, “we’ve been on the road for four hours already, if I was visiting you in Pittsburgh, I’d already be there.”

He had been making these sorts of comments ever since I’d told him about the job. I knew he was still upset, and just trying to work through it in his head, but I didn’t know what to do about it. I’d accepted the job, and declined the other offer in Charleston, closer to home. The one within commuting distance of Milton. I couldn’t go back now. Though, in my heart of hearts, I desperately wanted to. Was I putting my career before my relationship with Maddox? Would I still have both of those things at the end of this year?

There wasn’t an edit, undo button for real life. Though, it would come in handy a lot.

God, please don’t let this blow up in my face.

I squeezed Maddox’s hand. “It’ll be fine. I promise. It’ll be fun to explore a new city together. I won’t have homework anymore, so my weekends will be free.” As long as I wasn’t working. “I can drive home to visit more.”

Maddox smiled, and my worries slipped away into the background. “Yeah, it’ll be great. Isn’t the Andy Warhol museum there, too? I would love to go.”

I glanced at Maddox out of the corner of my eye. “I had no idea you were such a museum geek.  First, you dragged me to the Broad Art Museum, a building I’ve avoided all throughout college, then we had to go to the natural history museum, and now you want to go to the Andy Warhol museum?” I laughed at the memory of Maddox reading every placard related to each and every piece in the museum. He hadn’t missed a single detail. It had made for a long day, but we’d definitely gotten our money’s worth. Plus, I didn’t care where we were or what we did, as long as we were together.

“We would’ve gone to the children’s museum too if we’d had time.”

I snorted. “That would’ve been a sight. You, with your spiked hair, competing with the little kids for a look at… whatever they have there.”

“It was a hands-on science museum and it would have been awesome,” Maddox said.

I made a mental note to find one in Pittsburgh to go to. My fingers itched to grab my phone, so I could add it to my note app where I kept track of all my to-dos and reminders, but I refrained. Texting and driving didn’t mix.

We were quiet for a while, taking in the scenery on a drive that we’d both done more times than we could count in the past year and a half.

Since dating Maddox, I had doubled my visits home. Taking the trip more often and for longer amounts of time. I’d missed him while I attended school, craved his company. I knew he felt the same. We’d skyped often, but it wasn’t the same.

My dad had taken Maddox even further under his wing since we’d become a couple. It seemed like Maddox was more of a manager at the store than a sort-of employee. He still did the odd job around town and filled in at the diner a few shifts a week, but for the most part he worked full-time at the store.

“So, um, babe?” Maddox started, his voice tentative.

“Yeah?”

“It’s not a big deal or anything, so don’t freak out.”

Oh God. This couldn’t be good. I held my breath, trying to remain calm. He had me on the edge of my seat and my grip tightened on the steering wheel.

“What is it?”

He let out a quick breath. “I’m taking a night class at the community college. Just a business course to help with some of the paperwork at the hardware store. Pretty much the same courses your dad took eons ago. I just figured it might help, and I got the local-resident rate since I’ve been living in Milton for two years now, plus I qualified for a grant. I was able to pay the rest with some of my savings.”

He spoke faster than ever before and for a moment I couldn’t keep up.

Words escaped me. What was the right thing to say? Maddox succeeded at anything he put his mind to, that I knew. College wouldn’t be any different.

“That’s great. How long have you been doing that?”

He let another deep breath out in a whoosh of air. “This is my second semester.”

I almost slammed on the brakes, but I caught myself. “What? You’ve been taking courses for two semesters and you never told me?”

He shrugged, sinking into the seat like he could disappear into it if he wanted to. Though, with his bright purple hair, he stood out against the grey interior. “I didn’t want to make a big deal of it. Besides, you never told me about the job until after you accepted it.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I told you before I started, not an entire year into it.”

“I told you your dad has been giving me more and more responsibility. I really think he wants to retire.” He paused. “And, I’m seriously considering buying in as a partner.”

I still hadn’t gotten used to that idea. Since he’d brought it up the other night, I’d thought about it a few times, but it didn’t seem real just yet. The sky was blue, water was wet, and my dad owned and worked at the store Always had, always would.

“Dad’s not going to retire.” The man was barely fifty-five, what the hell would he do with his time? Fifty was the new thirty, right?

“You know he’s only working five days a week now? He doesn’t work Wednesdays anymore. Hasn’t since Christmas.”

“Why?” For as long as I could remember dad worked seven days a week. The store was closed Sunday, but he would still do inventory or accounting or something.

Maddox shrugged. “Don’t know. He just came in one day and told me that from now on he wanted Wednesdays off. He’s been meeting with that lawyer in town, Mr. Edwards, as well. Just getting information so far, but he talks about bringing me in as a partner more and more often lately.”

“Wow.” I often felt bad that I wasn’t more interested in the inner-workings of the store. But my parents had always encouraged me to pursue my dreams, not theirs, so it had never seemed to be a big deal. I’d assumed when the time came that my dad would sell the store to someone else. It most certainly never occurred to me that he would pursue a partnership with, well, with my partner.

“You should talk to him, Seth. I don’t want to overstep, but I’m a worried about him.”

“You aren’t overstepping. You’re practically their son. They love you more than me half the time.”

Maddox giggled at that. “Yeah, that’s just because I’m the nice one.”

I reached across the seat and slapped the back of my hand against his chest. “I’ll show you nice.”

He grabbed my hand before I could pull it back. I met his eyes briefly, there I found real concern and a touch of fear. So unlike the carefree Maddox I knew and loved.

“Promise me you’ll talk to your dad. He’s different lately, and I think he’ll talk to you.”

I nodded. “I’ll talk to him. I’ll be home for two months before I move to Pittsburgh. That’ll give me plenty of time to figure out what’s going on with him.” Most likely it was nothing. I hoped it was nothing.

I didn’t want to imagine it any other way.

* * * *

We pulled into the parking lot of Maddox’s apartment a little before seven that night. Too late to go visit my parents, or at least that was the excuse I used when I texted them to let them know we’d gotten home safe, but wouldn’t see them until the morning.

Maddox and I carried our bags up the stairs to his apartment. He unlocked the door, and all the tension from the day’s travel left my body, and I finally relaxed.

Home. This apartment, just one bedroom, and closet-sized bathroom and a kitchenette was my home.

Maddox kept the place pretty cozy. An overstuffed couch filled the living room, along with a computer monitor on the end table that we used to watch movies and shows. A few framed photographs of his family hung on the wall, as well as a few of him and me from Christmas.

I threw my coat on the counter in the kitchen which served as our table. Maddox wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to his chest. I sighed and leaned against him.

Home for sure.

I turned and kissed him. We stood together in the middle of the apartment, our lips pressed together, tongues massaging each other. Heaven.  I never wanted it to end. Too often we had to work on a time schedule, our time together limited to weekends and the rare week vacation.

Now we had two and a half months before I left for Philadelphia.

Maddox pulled away first. He put his hands on my shoulders and squeezed. “It’s good to have you home.”

I smiled. “It’s good to be home.”

We moved to the couch. Maddox settling against my chest. We didn’t bother turning on the computer to pull up Netflix. We just relaxed.

After a moment, Maddox said, “You never did say what company you were working for in Philadelphia.”

“I didn’t? JPG Market Strategies. They do—”

Maddox sat up and turned to face me. “Isn’t that the company with the guy who fired his assistant when he found out she was gay?”

Damn it. I did not want to discuss this. “It is, but—”

“Seth. Why would you want to work for that place? They are notoriously homophobic. Seriously, they refused to provide benefits to same-sex couples. They fought it as far as it could go, and finally had to have a court order. By then I’m sure that most of their gay employees had quit. I would have.”

The guilt weighed heavily on me. I’d known this would come up for discussion sooner or later, but I’d hoped it would be later. “I know. I know. I researched the company before I even applied there, but I couldn’t pass up the experience. I’m sure the media hyped it up to be more than it was. Besides, I really don’t plan on discussing the fact that I’m gay. There’s no reason it should come up in conversation.”

Maddox crossed his arms and gave me a pointed look. “Right, so you’ll just never mention when I visit, or when you go visit me?”

“No place is perfect. It really isn’t that big of a deal.”

“It’s a big deal to me. You’ll let this job put you in the closet? I just don’t understand, we fight so hard for these rights, which should be automatic, and here you are working for the enemy.”

“When did you start caring about political issues?”

Maddox rolled his eyes. “We don’t really have a choice, we either get involved in the issues, or they get decided for us. The real question is why don’t you care more?”

I shrugged, and the tension rose another notch. “I do care. I—It took me a while to come to terms with working for that company. I knew their history. But it’s one guy, out of a large company. I am sure everyone else is fine. And they do provide benefits to same-sex couples now, I read it in their manual.” I grabbed his hand and squeezed. “Besides, maybe I can make a difference there.” I probably wouldn’t, but it wasn’t beyond the realm of possibilities.

Maddox lips turned in a skeptical smile. “Not if you stay in the closet. I don’t know about this. I know it’s just a year and it will be great for your career, but I have a bad feeling about it.”

I hugged him, ready for this conversation to be over so we could enjoy our time together without worrying about when I would leave. “It will go by so fast, we won’t even realize we’re apart. I promise.” God, I hoped that wasn’t a lie.

Maddox pulled back and smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You’re right. I’m sure it will be fine.”

I stood, grabbed his hand and gestured to the bedroom. “C’mon, I’ve been waiting all day to crawl in bed and cuddle with you.”

He smiled at me and the remnants of the tense conversation left. It was just us. No worries allowed here.

Chapter Three

July

Fourth of July in Milton was a production; arts show, flea market, carnival rides, food trucks, a parade, elephant ears, sno-cones, the whole shebang. The smell of generator oil and fried food filled the town for weeks. Though I had always thought living in a small town was awful growing up, the July 4th picnic was always something to look forward to.

This year the town council had managed to commission a go-cart track, set up in the high school parking lot, and I couldn’t wait to try it out. But first Maddox and I had to survive the parade. Every year, the hardware store sponsored a t-ball team, and every year that team rode on a float during the parade. This year, Dad insisted that Maddox and I drive the truck.

The town voted on a theme for the parade and apparently the current theme was space travel, or something along those lines. Maddox jumped for joy when he heard the news because he had suggested the theme.

The t-ball team stayed up late the night before to decorate the float, all Maddox and I had to do was drive it to the line-up outside the high school and then keep a five-mile-an-hour pace throughout town, so the kiddos could toss candy to the on-lookers. Shouldn’t be too hard. And Maddox had promised me an elephant ear afterward.

“Seth!” Maura jogged down the street toward me, her long blonde hair swishing behind her in a ponytail.

“Hey, Maura,” I said.

She stopped in front of the float and looked it over. Her gaze landed on the paper maché rocket ship and paper cut-out stars. “Looks good.”

I smiled. “Good” was a bit of an overstatement, but it was cute. “Yeah, the kids had a lot of fun. They may have gone a little overboard on the stars.” I laughed at the memory. Maddox and I supervising ten five-year-olds cutting out paper stars and carefully pasting them to the back wall of the float.

The kids had helped with the rocket as well, it had only taken three hours and four large bottles of smelly super glue. Now the red and green rocket ship stood in the middle of the float in all its glory.

“Where’s your dad? He usually doesn’t miss any part of the parade.”

I checked my watch, realizing how close until the start of the parade. “Not sure. He’s supposed to be here. Maddox, too.”

I pulled my cell from my pocket and read the text from Maddox that I’d somehow missed.

Running late. Had to pick up your dad.

“That’s odd. Wonder why dad didn’t just drive himself.”

Maura shrugged. “So, Maddox has been working at the store a lot, huh?” She looked at me expectantly, like I had some juicy gossip to share.

“Yeah. He really likes it. He’s been talking about expanding or doing home improvement courses there.” I smiled. Maddox could talk for hours about plans he had for the store, and I loved to listen. His passion for his ideas turned me on like nothing else.

“Do you think your dad will retire soon? Are you and Maddox going to buy the store?” She spoke so fast, I hardly heard her.

Her audacity didn’t surprise me, as a local business owner, she was bound to be curious about other local businesses, but I wasn’t prepared for the bluntness. My head was still spinning when Maddox pulled up next to us. I didn’t get a chance to answer Maura’s questions. Darn.

“Hey babe.” Maddox said as he slid out of the car. “We brought the candy.”

“Awesome. Everything’s ready here.”

Jordan Porath, the middle school principal and current parade organizer, waved from down the road, signaling us to get moving.

“Go time.”

Maddox grinned and tossed me the keys.

My hand grabbed at the air just as the keys fell to my feet. I ignored the chuckles from my dad, Maura, and Maddox. “Get in.”

Maddox and I climbed into the truck, a bucket of candy for the parade-watchers between us. I shifted into drive and drove at a snail’s pace to our position in the parade lineup. While we waited for the event to start, the t-ball players and my dad all climbed onto the float and took their positions. Through the rear-view mirror I saw the kids all sitting around the edge in their blue team shirts, and my dad in the middle grinning like a big kid himself.

I smiled. Maddox reached over and squeezed my hand. I couldn’t resist the moment, so I leaned across the cab of the truck and kissed him. From outside, the groans of twenty five-year-olds pulled us apart. I returned to my position in the driver’s seat, my grin wider than it had ever been.

“What?” Maddox asked.

I shrugged. “I just never thought I would be able to do this. I mean, I thought I would graduate college, get a job in a big city and just become part of the crowd, probably meet someone or whatever. I never let myself think I would be able to do this here. Where I grew up. Close to my family. With someone I love.”

He squeezed my hand. “It could be like this all the time, you know.”

“I know.” I sighed. “As soon as I’m done with that internship. I’ll find something close by, I promise.”

Maddox smiled at me, but it held a touch of sadness. “I know.”

* * * *

After the parade, we parked the truck and made our way to the center of town where all the action was.

Just outside the hardware store sat the elephant ear and funnel cake truck.

“We have to get one of those.” I nudged Maddox and pointed to the food truck.

“Sounds good. As soon as we get done with the Tilt-A-Whirl.” Maddox grinned and tugged at my hand, pulling me toward the line to the rickety carnival ride.

I groaned. “Do I have to?”

“Yes!” Maddox’s smile split his face. His eyes shone so bright in the summer sun I nearly went blind. It almost hurt to see him so happy. Never in my life had I imagined I would find such happiness so soon.

The best I had ever hoped for was content. To think I would have gone my entire life without knowing and loving Maddox. That thought hurt.

Maddox dragged me to the Tilt-A-whirl and while we waited in line I looked around at the residents of my hometown.

Everyone came to town for the July 4th picnic. They brought out their families to all the local events. This morning was the parade, later there would be a tractor pull, and a pie baking contest, followed by a pie eating contest. Mom always entered the baking competition, and dad always attempted the eating portion, but he only participated for the free pie.

A few people pointed at Maddox and I, not with any hostility, but being the only gay couple in town we were bound to get a few stares. A lot of people smiled. If I had a nickel for every time some said, “You two are so cute together” Maddox and I wouldn’t have to work for the next year.

I grasped Maddox’s hand as we stood in line, another thing I never thought I would be able to do. He squeezed my hand back. The ride squeaked and creaked to a stop and it was our turn to get on.

We spun around and around, our hands tightly clasped together.

* * * *

At the end of the day Maddox and I trudged back to his apartment, exhausted. In his hand was the bag of cookies he’d bought at the bake sale, in mine was the stuffed animal I’d won at the ring-toss game.

I collapsed on to the couch as soon as I could, and Maddox fell beside me. I rolled my head to the side to look at him. “Today was nice.”

“It was.” Maddox sighed, his eyes closed.

“You want to go to bed?”

He cuddled next to me, laying his head on my chest and holding me around the middle. “No, I just want to sit here for a while.”

I kissed the top of his head. “Take all the time you need.”

After a moment, he said. “I don’t want you to go next month.”

“Me neither. But I have to.”

Maddox groaned. “I know.”

Another long moment passed. “Your dad wants to meet with a lawyer and start the paperwork for me to buy half the store.”

I tensed, then forced myself to relax, hoping Maddox wouldn’t notice.

“What?” Maddox sat up so that we were looking at one another.

“Is that what you want?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I really do.” He settled back down against me. “I never thought it would be something I would enjoy, but I really do like it. I like helping people, and I have so many ideas on things we can do to expand, but still keep the small-town feel. I want to offer classes in painting techniques or basic home maintenance.”

I sensed there was something he wasn’t saying. “But?”

“But what if it doesn’t work out? Or what if I can’t get the money for it? I mean, I don’t even have a college degree, why would a bank let me take out a loan to purchase half of a business?”

“It will be fine. You’ll be great. By now I am sure my dad has already spoken with the loan officer and all you’ll have to do is sign paperwork.”

“If you say so,” Maddox said, without a lot of confidence in his voice.

“Hey.” I nudged him until he looked at me. “I’ll be there with you throughout the process. We’ll make this work. If this is something that you want, then we’ll make sure it happens. You have been so supportive of me throughout school and with this new internship. I want to do the same for you.”

Tears pooled at the corners of Maddox eyes, and I knew mine were the same. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Maddox laid his head against my chest and we lay together. Content. In love. And we fell asleep.

Chapter Four

August

My last day in Milton was uneventful. We woke up early, both unable to hide from the inevitable day any longer. We lay awake, next to one another for a long while, without saying anything.

Finally, Maddox stood and gave me a smile that told me everything would be just fine. So, I got up too. I made him breakfast—omelets with spinach, mushrooms, and cheddar cheese. We ate in silence for a while. My bags sat by the door, ready to be loaded in to the car that would take me away from home again. Away from Maddox.

Maddox turned on Netflix to give us some background noise. We talked about whatever was on, but I couldn’t remember what we said.

I had an appointment at three o’clock in Philadelphia to pick up my keys from my landlord, so I knew I had to be on the road by ten thirty. The drive was only four hours, but better safe, than sorry.

“You’ll call me when you get there?” Maddox asked.

We stood outside, holding one another as we leaned against my car.

“I’ll call you on the way, when I get there, after I get my keys and before I go to bed.”

He laughed. It seemed forced, but I appreciated the effort.

“I have to cover the shift at the store tonight, I’ll answer when I can.”

“No worries, babe.” I did worry though. What if we grew apart? What if I was offered a full-time position that I couldn’t turn down? No. I’d made a promise that I would come back here, and I would keep that promise.

Get a grip, Seth. You haven’t even left yet. At least wait a week before you freak out.

I kissed him. Hard. Wrapping my arms around him and pulling him as close to me as I could. I wanted to memorize his body, feel his heat against me long after I left. I needed the memory to last a year, keep me sane at night when I knew I would lie awake wanting him near me.

I remembered those nights when I’d lived in Michigan and him in West Virginia. It had been different then, though. I hadn’t known what it was like to live with him every day, all day for days on end.

The last two months had brought us closer together. Solidified our love and respect for one another. Not for the first time, I wondered if this internship was a terrible idea. Did I really need it?

Was it really that important to have that company on my resume?

I wished it wasn’t. But, I wanted to be able to provide for Maddox, so he could do whatever he wanted with his career, or do nothing at all, if that was what he wanted. I wanted to make him proud. I needed the experience to make my way in my career. I took a deep breath, memorizing Maddox’s scent. Just a year. I’ll be back in May. We could do this.

He would visit, I would come home every other weekend. We could make this work.

“I can hear you thinking,” Maddox said against my neck. “Everything will be fine. I love you.”

I sighed. “I love you too.”

He pulled away from me and took a step back. Had he not done that, I may not have ever moved. I opened the door and climbed in to the car. My heart ached, pounding so hard I could feel my pulse in the tips of my ears. Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go. I didn’t listen. Instead, I shut the door and smiled one last time at the man I loved, the man whose patience for me surpassed my wildest expectations, and was way more than I deserved. I turned the key, and the car roared to life.

I watched Maddox through the rear-view mirror until I had to turn the corner at the end of the street. Then I passed the city limits, heading out of Milton.

* * * *

I arrived at my new apartment fifteen minutes before I was scheduled to meet the landlord. The neighborhood looked nice enough, the streets were clean, and everything appeared in order. I had only ever seen pictures online, so I hadn’t been sure what I was getting myself into.

The landlord arrived right on time, she gave me my keys and a quick tour of the place. Not that there was much to show. I’d rented a studio apartment. One room, with a closet-sized bathroom and a kitchenette equipped with a hotplate and a toaster-oven.

I missed Maddox. It had only been five hours, but I couldn’t wait for him to visit, or me to go home.

Maybe this had been a terrible idea. Ugh, I hadn’t even started work and I was already dreading it.

I took a deep breath and shook myself, almost tempted to slap my cheek a few times. Snap out of it, Seth. It could be worse. I could be farther away.

It was just a year.

I sent Maddox a quick text to let him know I’d arrived, then snapped a few pictures to send as well.

It took me all of an hour to unpack my belongings and put them away. I didn’t need much, just some clothes and a computer.

Next on my list of things to do was grocery shopping. Then I needed a good night’s sleep. I started work tomorrow.

* * * *

My new office was only a few short blocks away from my apartment, not by accident of course, I had planned it that way. I dressed in my best suit, wearing the tie Maddox had given me for Christmas last year.

Maddox sent me a good luck text that had me walking on air. There might have been a risqué picture with it.

Orientation started at nine a.m. and of course I planned on arriving early. I may have overshot my arrival time, because I spent half an hour just circling the building before I could go in.

A few other interns, (I assumed they were interns) gathered outside the door as well. If I remembered correctly, my new boss said that there would be four other interns hiring in at the same time as me.

Julian from human resources greeted us all with a smile and before I knew it we were all in a conference room doing icebreakers and discussing basic policy.

My boss, Robert McCafferty, came down after lunch and grabbed me and Nicole, the other intern in my department, to go upstairs to meet the rest of team.

Rob was a nice enough guy, but I couldn’t help but feel like there was something about him that I didn’t like. He was taller than me, with short brown hair parted to one side. Not a single hair out of place. Perfectly clean shaven, wearing a crisp white shirt with a mustard yellow tie.

I recalled what Maddox had said about the company when I’d told him about it. Why would you want to work for that place? He’d asked. Why indeed.

“Here’s where you two will be stationed for your internship. I’ll have Carly come over and help you get your computer set up. Do you have any questions?” Rob leaned against the cubicle wall. He smiled, but he checked his watch as he spoke, so I figured he didn’t really want us to ask questions.

“No? Okay. We’ll have a meeting tomorrow morning to discuss your projects for the next few months. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. My door is always open.” He nodded to us both, then turned on his heel and left.

Nicole took the seat to the left, leaving me on the right side of the cubicle usually built for only one person, but I supposed since we were interns they weren’t going to spare the room for us. She flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder and smiled a friendly smile at me. “Guess we’re going to be roomies.”

“Guess so,” I said.

We’d make do, but it would be cramped.

I thought, not for the first time today, that I would much rather be home with Maddox. Stocking shelves at the hardware store would be more exciting than this wouldn’t it?

No. This is what I’d worked my ass off for. I wanted to be here. I needed to be here. I could do this. I had to do this. For me. For Maddox. For our future.

Five hours later, I walked into my apartment and leaned against the door after I’d closed it.

It had been a long day of meeting people and trying to absorb as much information as I possibly could. My co-workers were nice, well, except for Rob, but he was my boss. I didn’t need to like him, I just needed to tolerate him.

My phone buzzed, and Maddox’s face filled the screen.

“Hey babe.” I shrugged off my jacket and tossed it to the floor. Not how I should be treating my favorite suit, but I was too tired to care.

“Hey! How was your first day? Did you impress them all? Get a raise and offered a full-time position on your first day?” He laughed, and I laughed with him. It felt nice. The tension from the day slipped from my body as I lay on the bed, holding the phone against my ear.

“Unfortunately, no, but it’s still early in the week. We’ll see how tomorrow goes. How are things at home?”

“Great. Same ol’, same ol’. So, what are you wearing?”

“Huh?”

“C’mon. What are you wearing? Still got your suit on? ’Cause that’s hot. Reach in your pants for me.”

My temperature spiked and heart raced the more words he spoke. Damn. We’d talked about phone sex, but I didn’t realize we’d be starting on my second night here.

I did as he said though. I unzipped my slacks and reached my hand inside. “Hard for you already. Been thinking of you all day.”

“Me too.” His voice sounded strained, which only made me harder. This wouldn’t take long. “I miss you so much, Seth. Bed’s so empty without you here.”

“I know.” Pre-cum slicked the way for me, and I jacked myself faster. “You hard, baby?”

“Yeah. Balls ache just thinking about you. Almost there.”

“Me, too.”

“Love you so much. Wish you were here. You always know how I like it.”

I groaned, thinking of how he felt against me. For a moment, it was like he was there, and that was enough to push me over the edge, I came, hard and fast. Based on the ragged breathing coming through the phone, Maddox had too.

After we both caught our breath, he said, “I really called to see how your first day went, but when I heard your voice I couldn’t help myself.”

I smiled. I loved his honesty. “I needed that. Thanks.”

I told him about my day, he told me about his, then we said our goodbyes. I needed to clean myself up and I’m sure he did too.

I cleaned myself off and threw my suit into a pile to be sent to the dry cleaners. Normally I would be able to get at least two wears out of it before it needed to be cleaned, but not this time.

The clock read six, but I was ready for bed. I didn’t actually go to sleep, but I definitely could have.

One day down, countless more to go. My projects were interesting at least, but damn if I didn’t miss Maddox like crazy. It had to get easier, right?

Chapter Five

September

The month dragged on and on. I kept reminding myself thirty days has September, April, June, and November. All the rest have thirty-one, except when February’s done.

Over and over again, until I could calculate to the very minute when Maddox and I would be living in the same state again.

I tried to go home for Labor Day weekend, but I had a flat tire on Friday that I couldn’t get patched until late Saturday. Maddox had some sort of big sale event at the store that weekend anyway, so we wouldn’t have been able to spend a lot of time together.

So, instead I hung around Philadelphia, getting acclimated to my temporary home. Nicole and I watched fireworks together Monday night. She was the only friend I had in the area. A few of the other interns at work were nice, but we didn’t click.

Nicole’s boyfriend was still in college in Florida, so she and I could wallow in our self-pity and loneliness together.

Even with the short week at work it still seemed to take forever to get to Friday. Although I wasn’t sure what I was looking forward to. Maddox wouldn’t get a chance to visit until October, and I didn’t want to make the drive until I got new tires for the car, which unfortunately I wouldn’t be able to do until I got my first couple of paychecks.

The days were long. I learned a lot, got along with my co-workers. The only person around the office that I didn’t like was my boss, Rob. He just seemed standoff-ish. Though, he was my boss, I suppose I wasn’t supposed to get along with him, that was like a rule or something, right?

Each day he would come into me and Nicole’s cubicle and question us about what we’d accomplished yesterday, what we would accomplish throughout the day and then he would nod, narrow his eyes and turn on his heels and leave. The first time it happened Nicole and I just looked at each other with confusion, now we’ve come to expect it.

Rob was odd to say the least.

One day he leaned against the opening of our cube when Josh, another intern from two floors up came by in a hurry, he bumped into Rob and coffee sloshed, spilling on to Rob’s green button-down shirt.

Rob shrieked as the scalding liquid seeped on to his skin. We all moved at once, offering tissues, napkins, paper towel. Whatever we could find.

Josh, a natural red-head turned so pale he was practically translucent. He apologized at least a hundred times.

“Dammit, you fa—” Rob stopped, took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

We all stood statue still. I knew the word on the tip of his tongue, and it made my skin crawl. I had to have imagined it, right? People didn’t say things like that in a work setting. Not in this day and age anyway.

Finally, Rob opened his eyes. He snatched the napkins from Josh’s hand. “No problem.” His tone said otherwise. “Just be more careful. Please.”

“Yes, sir.” Josh said.

“Back to work.” Rob turned on his heel and stormed out. Others on the floor poked their heads over the tops of their cubicles to see what the commotion was all about. A few gave us reassuring smiles.

That night Nicole and I took Josh to get a drink after work. Poor guy was a wreck the rest of the week, always jumping at his own shadow, sure that Rob would have him fired.

Something about that day unsettled me, and if I’d ever had any hope of making the company feel like home to me, it was dashed. I didn’t want to admit that Maddox had been right, but deep down I knew.

We spoke every night, but I didn’t mention the incident to him. I really didn’t want to hear him tell me I told you so.

The nights… ah. I lived for the nights. I’d get home from work, change into some sweats, make a little dinner and wait for Maddox to call.

He always did around eight. The store closed at seven and he had to ring out the register, and then lock up. He would tell me about his day, his plans. His passion for the store and the town echoed through the phone and warmed my heart. It made me want to go home right now and start our life there.

Soon.  Well, soon enough anyway.

We didn’t have phone sex every night, just most. I wasn’t sure which was better, talking for hours on end or watching Maddox stroke himself on the webcam.

October couldn’t get here soon enough.

Chapter Six

October

The day of my birthday turned out to be a less than spectacular affair. We had a cake and ice cream at work. Employees I’d never even met showed up, grabbed cake, and left before I even had a chance to say thank you. They probably didn’t know whose birthday it was, they were just looking for a way to break up the monotony of their day.

Nicole, Josh, and I went out to lunch. They offered to buy, but I declined. I knew how much we were making on our intern salary, and I didn’t want them to do without simply because they wanted to be nice. We talked about work. Well, complained would be a more accurate term.

I liked my job, and enjoyed what I was doing, or rather I enjoyed what I was learning by watching others work. I myself wasn’t doing much of the important tasks, just data gathering and writing reports. I knew I had to put in the time and then I would be given some of the more challenging work to do.

After work, I walked home, full from cake and the taco salad I’d had for lunch. Quite the combination.

Maddox hadn’t texted or called all day, which was odd. Most days we texted throughout the day, sometimes he called to wish me good morning. Not today though. Maybe he had big plans for our skype date and didn’t want to spoil it. I didn’t want to think that he may have forgotten about my birthday.

I shoved the key into the door lock.  The lock didn’t disengage this time because the door was already unlocked. It swung open before I could think to either open it or step away and call 911.

Maddox stood there, smiling larger than life.

I dropped my bag on the floor. Shocked. Amazed. In love.

It had only been six weeks. Six very long weeks since we had seen each other last, but at that moment it felt like an eternity.

I hugged him. Pulled him close to me as I choked back tears.

“Happy birthday, babe,” he said.

“This… this is the best… I didn’t… I had no idea you were coming.” I backed away from the hug, but still held on to his hand, leading him over to the sofa.

We collapsed next to one another.

“Honestly, I wasn’t sure I was coming until this morning. I’d thought about it. Mentioned it briefly to your parents at dinner on Sunday, but hadn’t made any concrete plans. Then this morning your dad arrived at ten and told me to head out. He’s covering me tonight and tomorrow morning.” He shrugged and smiled apologetically. “I can only stay one night.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much. This means so much to me.” It sounded corny, but I meant every word. I didn’t want to tell him how lonely I was here and how much I wondered if I’d made the right choice, but I am pretty sure he knew. He was just too kind to tell me ‘I told you so.’

I kissed him, as long as I could. Holding him so close to me I wasn’t sure which heartbeat belonged to whom. I pulled away from the kiss, shot him a quick smile then dropped to my knees.

“It’s your birthday, you don’t have to— Oh, damn.” Maddox cut off his sentence just as I unzipped his pants, pulled them down, and closed my mouth around his entire dick.

I sucked him down, held his hips still, and drank the taste of him. I breathed in through my nose, making a memory of his scent. I missed having him close. Being able to do this whenever the mood struck. We’d been spoiled over the summer, seeing each other every day.

He moaned and rocked. His cock going even deeper into my mouth, if that was even possible. I set to work. Bobbing my head, licking and sucking. I grabbed his balls with my hand, rolling them in my palm.

“Oh, good God, Seth. Almost. Almost there. Been way too fucking long.”

I doubled my efforts. Taking him as deep as I could, then swallowing. Pre-cum tingled on my taste buds and I knew it wouldn’t be much longer.

Maddox rocked and jerked. Cum shot down my throat, and I drank it all. Some overflowed in my mouth and dribbled down my chin. The stream was never ending, and I loved every minute of it. I knew Maddox was mine.

His fingers laced into my hair, and I let go of his prick with a pop. I wiped my chin and met his eyes. We both laughed.

“I might have to make the drive more often if this is the reception I get.”

“I’ll expect the same when I come home in November.”

He nodded. “You’ll get that and more. C’mon.” He reached out a hand and pulled me up. “Let’s see what you’ve got to eat around here.”

I patted my stomach. “Eat whatever you like. I’m kind of full.” I laughed again, as if my joke was hilarious.

Once we were in the kitchen, I tossed Maddox the paper towels, so he could clean himself up, and set out to find him some food. He would need all his strength later. I was sure of it.

Chapter Seven

November

Thanksgiving had always been a big holiday at my house. We were a small family. Usually it was just me, Mom and Dad, and maybe Mom’s brother and his family. Of course, the past few years Maddox had come along as well.

Maddox’s family did their Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday because his family was so large. He had like twenty cousins or some astronomical number like that. We’d been able to make the drive to Kentucky to see them the past two years as well.

I arrived in Milton late Wednesday night, close to midnight. I would have been earlier, but when I mentioned to Nicole that I was driving home for the long weekend to see my boyfriend, Rob the dickhead must’ve overheard because he suddenly had a few extra things that I had to get done by the end of the day. I didn’t want to think that he was a homophobic jackass, but unfortunately it had crossed my mind a few times.

I didn’t leave the office until six thirty.

Damn Rob anyway. I wasn’t going to let him ruin my weekend.

I used my key to get in Maddox’s apartment, tossed my bag down by the couch and headed to the bedroom. Once I’d brushed my teeth and stripped down to my boxers, I crawled into bed with Maddox. He never even stirred. I couldn’t blame him. Each night on skype he looked more and more ragged and our conversations had become shorter and shorter.

Thank goodness, he kept his door locked and that this was a low crime town. In his current state, Maddox would sleep through a burglary.

I wrapped my arm around his waist and spooned against him. He signed in his sleep. A more contented sound I had never heard. Home. I’d made it.

* * * *

Thanksgiving was always hectic. The store was closed, but being that it was a small town, many people would call my dad for some sort of last minute thing. Over the years, we’d heard it all. Need fresh paint because we scorched the ceiling of the kitchen trying to make dinner, need extra fire extinguishers in case the turkey fryer catches fire. All sorts of things.

This year seemed like it may be one of those years. Before Maddox and I even left his apartment, he got a phone call from Joe Durant, the town treasurer. He needed as much wasp spray as he could get his hands on because they had an infestation in the back yard and he had the family coming over in an hour.

Maddox hung up the phone and shrugged. I smiled. There he stood in his black skinny jeans, studded belt and skin-tight t-shirt. His maroon hair parted to the slide, straightened, sexy as hell, ready to head to the hardware store.

“You ever think that you’d end up running a hardware store? I mean, of all the things you thought you might do with your life, did that ever occur to you?”

He laughed. “Nope. Can’t say that it did. Although, I really never spent a lot of time thinking about what I would do with my life.”

I followed him to his car and waited in it while he got what Joe needed. We dropped off every can of wasp and insect killer the store had, and from the car I could see Joe thanking Maddox, telling him that he’d ‘saved the day.’ It warmed my heart and made me so happy that I almost wanted to cry. It was great to see Maddox belonging somewhere.

“Mrs. Durant is going to bring over some dessert later. Just for us.” Maddox said as he climbed back into the car.

“Sweet.”

“Yeah, I’m not about to turn away free food. Even if we are going to be eating a ton this weekend.”

“We could totally cheat and take that as our dish to pass at your family’s dinner.”

Maddox shot me an incredulous look. “Yeah, right. My mom expects that salad thing you made last year. Which reminds me, we’ll have to pick up the ingredients for it tomorrow at the store.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that.”

* * * *

I was excited to visit Maddox’s parents. It was a long drive, but we could handle it taking turns. Usually the store opened early on Black Friday, but this year Maddox decided to close so he could be with his family. Last year we’d been able to make it, but we’d arrived quite late.

I loved visiting with his mother. She and I got along quite well.

“Do you think she’ll make that pasta salad she had last year at Christmas?” I asked.

Maddox rolled his eyes. “Of course. She knows how much you love it.”

We were quiet a little while longer. The miles on the highway flying by. The leaves were pretty this time of year. I held Maddox’s hand. He drove, and I watched the scenery pass. It was nice.

“I did notice that my dad seemed to be a little thinner than usual.”

Maddox raised his brow, but said nothing.

I continued, “Has he been losing weight?”

Maddox shrugged. “Something is off about him. I wish you would talk to him,” he said as he shot me a stern glance. Worry laced his voice.

Silence again. We were only a few miles away from his parent’s house, and I didn’t want to start a big discussion. I worried about my dad, but I wasn’t sure what I could do. The last few miles passed by quickly and the next thing I knew Maddox pulled into his parent’s drive.

They lived in a small ranch style home on the outskirts of a little town in Kentucky. The neighborhood was quiet, all except for Maddox’s house where kids and adults ran around the lawn playing cornhole and ladder ball.

It was always jarring to me to see how big of a family that Maddox had. Even though he was an only child, his parents both had seven siblings each.

Maddox’s mom approached the car as soon as we pulled to a stop. Tears sparkled in her eyes as she gave Maddox and me a big hug, one arm around each of us. She was a small woman and she wore a blue dress. She wasn’t at all the type of mom I expected Maddox to have.

His dad on the other hand, was exactly like I expected. Maddox’s father was a tall man, lanky but not clumsy. He had more tattoos than I could count and always wore his biker gear. Leather pants, leather boots and leather vest. He wore his hair long, tied back in a ponytail. As soon as he saw us Garrett, Maddox’s dad, walked over and gave us a hug as well. He gave me a resounding clap on the back on my back that I was sure had left a hand print.

“Glad you boys could finally make it!” Garrett said.

“Come on inside, I’ve got some snacks. I know you must be hungry.” Betty, Maddox’s mom pulled my arm, and I immediately followed her. I tossed a look over my shoulder hoping that Maddox would follow and not leave me alone with all of his family right away. I loved them, but I’d only been here a couple of times, and I was still nervous.

Maddox just smiled and waved me off while he followed his dad into the garage. Garrett’s motorcycle sat dead center and many of Maddox’s uncles stood around admiring it.

Inside the house, Betty asked me about my job, about my parents, about anything and everything really. She and I never had any issues keeping the conversation going.

“Maddox said there seems to be something going on with your dad.” Betty looked at me, eyebrows raised.

That startled me. Maddox and I obviously had talked about my dad, and he seemed to be getting slimmer. But that didn’t mean anything, right? Dad was still dad.

“He just seems to be getting up there in age, I guess. Can’t do all the things he used to do. I think that’s why Maddox has taken over more and more of the store. That and my dad really wants to retire.”

Betty nodded.

We both stayed quiet for a moment longer, lost in our thoughts. Betty kneaded some bread dough, and I nibbled on a cookie. Finally, she tossed the bread dough into a pan and cover it with a towel then looked at me. I returned her gaze, unsure what to expect. Her eyes held a seriousness that I wasn’t expecting.

“Maddox misses you.”

“I know. We try to Skype everyday…” I trailed off, that sounded lame even to my own ears. Skype could only do so much.

Betty said, “It’s not the same. Now, I don’t mean to be a meddling mom, but I don't think Maddox has been entirely truthful with you.”

Wait, what? What could she possibly mean? My heart thundered, unsure of what I was about to hear.

“Oh sweetie, calm down. It’s nothing bad.” She patted my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Let me tell you something about my son. He may not have had a life plan…” she used air quotes. “But, there is one thing that he always wanted to be.”

“What?” I asked.

“A partner.” Betty smiled. “He always wanted a partner. Not just a boyfriend or a lover or whatever. He wanted someone he could come home to at night and share a life with.”

I let out a long breath that I hadn’t realized that I was holding. “I want that too.”

“I know,” she said, “I just think that Maddox thought after you finished college that you two would be living together.”

My shoulders slumped, and I deflated a little. I nodded. “Me too. I wish I’d never taken this job.” There, I’d said it out loud. The thought had been resting in the back of my mind for two months now, but I’d never put it to words.

“Don’t get me wrong, Seth, Maddox understands. He knows that this job is important to your career. I just wanted you to understand a little more about my son that he may not have shared yet.” She walked around the counter until she stood in front of me then she pulled me into a tight hug “I couldn’t think of anyone better for my son than you, which is why I’m trying to give you a little inside information,” she whispered in my ear.

Tears threatened to fall, but I blinked them away.

“Thanks. I promise to do whatever I can to make him happy.” I meant it. My career, my plan for life, had come to mean nothing to me if Maddox wasn’t around.

* * * *

That night the conversation I had with Betty played over in my mind. I wondered if I was being selfish. Scratch that. I knew I was being selfish, and I knew that Maddox was allowing it. I would make it up to him. I knew I would some way or another. I just hoped it wouldn’t be too late.

Then there was the issue of my parents. Something was going on, I wasn’t sure what. My perfectly laid plans for my life were going up in smoke right before my very eyes. I guess I should have expected that kind of thing after falling in love with Maddox. I didn’t regret it at all. Sometimes not having a plan drove me insane. And kept me up at night like it was right now. Which is why I lay here staring at the ceiling while Maddox snored away softly beside me.

I needed to talk to my dad. He always knew what to do. Tomorrow would be as good a time as any, Maddox had a big event planned at the store. Small business Saturday, he called it. I planned on stopping by to help out, but I supposed I could talk with my dad first. My dad wanted to lay low this weekend and just chill at home with the family. I didn’t have to drive back to Philadelphia until Sunday evening, hell I could even stay ’til Monday morning. But that would be pushing it.

Tomorrow I would sit and talk with my dad and have a real discussion. Find out how Maddox felt about my living in Philadelphia and find out what was up with my dad these days. Even with the decision made, it still took me another hour before I fell asleep. I didn’t wake when Maddox left, I barely remembered him kissing my forehead before he said goodbye.

Once I got up and got dressed, I found my dad in his garage, tinkering with his tools. For a man who’d owned a hardware store his entire life, he really didn’t have that many.

“Hey, Dad” I said.

“Hey,” he said.

I walked until I stood beside him and leaned my elbow against the table edge.

I looked at him, I mean I really looked at him. The lines along his forehead and cheeks had gotten deeper just in the past few months and his hair was now completely gray. Almost white. How had I not noticed this?

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

He startled, looked at me with surprise in his eyes. “Of course, son. Everything’s fine.”

I almost fell for it, but I wasn’t 100% convinced.

I changed the subject, not because I wasn’t concerned, but because I wanted to find a different approach. Dammit, I should’ve put together a plan. A bulleted list of items that needed to be covered. Conversations always went better when I came prepared with a plan.

“So, Maddox is going to buy the store?”

Dad set down the tool that he was cleaning. “That’s the plan. How do you feel about that?”

“Whatever makes Maddox happy makes me happy,” I said. “How do you feel about letting it go?”

“Your mother has been asking me to take her on a cruise for the past ten years, and I think it’s due time.”

“Do you ever wish that I was more interested in the store?” I asked.

Dad shrugged. “My only wish for you has always been that you are happy and healthy. I don’t care if you date boys or girls or anything else. I just want you to be happy.”

“I am,” I said. Mostly. “Are you happy?” I asked.

“Yes,” he replied, “I’m very happy.”

“Then that’s all I want too.” I smiled at him, and he smiled back.

We stood quiet for a while. He picked up his tools and cleaning cloth, and I stood there, deep in thought.

“Did I make a mistake going on an internship four hours away from Maddox?”

Dad set down his tools and looked at me again. He leaned against the table edge as well. Our stances mirroring each other. When had I gotten to be as tall as him?

“No, I don’t think so,” he said. “You and Maddox are still young, still trying to find your way in the world. Sometimes that takes a little trial and error.”

I snorted. “I wish there wasn’t as much error.”

Dad grinned. “That’s the way of the world sometimes.”

Somehow his words made me feel better. They usually did. I hugged him, wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close to me.

“Thanks Dad. I’m glad we were able to talk.”

He hugged me back, and we stood there for a moment.

“Me too son, me too,” he said.

* * * *

Chapter Eight

December

December went by rather quickly even though I never had a chance to visit home. I spent the month looking for a gift for Maddox. I didn’t have a lot of luck. I wanted to get him something he could use but also something that came from the heart. He and I enjoyed playing chess online, and I knew he didn’t own a nice chess set. My goal was to find one that we could keep forever. One that would last and we could cherish together. I wasn’t having a lot of luck.

I debated on getting him something practical. I found a laptop that he could use for school. It was on sale because it had been the display model, so it was even cheaper. I wished I could have gotten him a super cool laptop with all the bells and whistles, but I just couldn’t swing it.

But then, I found it. On a whim, I went to a local flea market. After spending an hour walking around looking at random stuff that I couldn’t even make sense of, I found it. The chess set of my dreams. I knew Maddox would love it. I couldn’t wait until Christmas morning to give it to him.

I took the week off between Christmas and New Year’s, so I could go home and spend time with my family and Maddox as well. We would spend Christmas Eve with his family then drive home Christmas morning to spend the day with mine. Then we would have the entire week together. I didn’t think we had plans for New Year’s Eve. Neither Maddox nor I was much into parties. I was excited to spend the entire week with him just lazing around the house or even spending time with him at the store. I didn’t care what we did as long as we were together. I’d grown quite tired of coming home each night to an empty apartment and eating a meal all by myself. Maddox had started staying later and later at the store each night, so we weren’t able to talk until right before I went to bed. I wasn’t much of a night owl.

Maddox was working the day that I arrived home. I’d gotten out of work a little early that day and headed straight for home. That was how I thought of his apartment. It was home. My apartment in Philadelphia was just where I slept and kept my books. I stopped by my parent’s house to say hello, and check out the decorations they’d put up for the year. Mom was home in the kitchen baking up a storm for tomorrow’s festivities, I wasn’t sure where my dad was. The pick-up wasn’t in the driveway.

“Hi, Mom,” I said.

She turned and smiled and gave me a big hug.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

I shrugged “Just stopped by to say hello,” I said. “Where’s Dad?”

She waved her hand in the air and wouldn’t look me in the eye. “Oh, you know him. He’s off somewhere doing something.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Is everything all right?” I asked.

She sighed and gave me a look that said I was being ridiculous. “Everything is fine.”

I watched her work a little longer as she busied herself in the kitchen moving this, measuring that, mixing up a batch of cookies it looked like. She didn’t meet my eyes.

I had to get to the bottom of this. But at this point I worried about what they were keeping from me. Was it something I didn’t want to know?

“How has he been doing? I asked.

“Great,” she said. “He has been keeping himself busy, but also he has been enjoying the life of a semi-retired business owner. Maddox has been a godsend.” She shot me a look that said don’t lose that boy.

I didn’t plan on it. I loved Maddox. I had never really given much thought to who I would spend my life with and now I couldn’t imagine spending it any other way. Maddox was my rock, my soul, my very reason for existing.

Mom had the house decorated to the nines. Every year she took down all of her picture frames and wrapped them in holiday paper and hung them back on the wall to make it look like presents were hanging in every room. The tree sat in the corner of the living room like it always did. Ribbons of silver and gold, glitter ornaments and a mile-high stack of presents gave the entire room a holiday feel it made me want to cozy up on the couch and drink hot chocolate. And eat sugar cookies, couldn’t forget the sugar cookies.

Had Maddox bothered to put up a tree? Last year he hadn’t, but we did decorate a tiny one in my apartment on campus last year. I didn’t have anything in my apartment in Philadelphia that indicated it was anywhere near Christmas time.

I stood in the doorway, gazing at the tree, reminiscing in my head about where each ornament had come from and why. Some of them I’d made as crafts as a child. I couldn’t believe my mother had kept them.

Not too long after I arrived, my Dad pulled in the driveway and came sauntering into the house. I turned to greet him and stopped short. At least ten pounds were missing from his already lean frame. Maddox had never mentioned my dad losing even more weight. Although I hadn’t asked. I opened my mouth to ask him what was wrong, beg him to tell me what was happening, but I couldn’t do it. It was only a week until the end of the holiday season. I would ask then. Really push him to tell me what was going on, my mom too, she needed to ’fess up. For now, I just hugged him, told him hello and that I missed him.

He and I sat on the couch together flipping through channels like we used to do when I’d lived at home. When I knew the store was closed and that Maddox would be going back to his apartment, I said my goodbyes and headed out the door. I told my parents I’d see them on Christmas Day.

Maddox was locking the door of the store when I drove by, so I pulled up to the curb and waited. He hopped in and as soon as he sat down, he let out a long sigh and leaned his head back. He turned to look at me, a wide smile crossed his face.

“It’s been a long day,” he said. “What’s the matter?”

I shrugged. “I wish that I was here more. With you. I…” I started, then stopped, unsure of how to say what I felt. “I really wish I hadn’t taken the job in Philadelphia. You were right. We’re too far away, and I hate it. I hate being away from my family. It’s different than when I was in Michigan. At least there I was busy all the time with homework and class and work. And I always assumed that once I graduated that we’d be together. Like live together in one place, but we’re not. I don’t know what I was thinking. I know this was my idea. I just don’t like it.” The world slipped off my shoulders the more words I spoke. Finally, I’d said it all out loud. Some of it I hadn’t even realized I’d been thinking.

Maddox grabbed my hand and squeezed. “Only a few more months. Then we’ll see how things are.”

“You’re right.” I pulled my hand away and put the car in drive. It wasn’t until later that night when I replayed the conversation in my head that I realized what he’d said. What did he mean “we’ll see?” I didn’t like the sound of that.

***

Christmas day was never a big occasion at my house. Being an only child there wasn’t really a lot of chaotic crazy present unwrapping. Mostly it was calm and quiet, but I still loved it. As I’d grown older it had become less about the presents and more about hanging out and sharing memories with Mom and Dad. Now, with Maddox there it became even more special, and slightly embarrassing since my parents always seemed to have a silly story to tell about my childhood.

The tree was a little more bare this year as far as presents went. I saw that my parents hadn’t bought anything for each other and there was only one present each for Maddox and me. Not that it mattered, but I was used to seeing piles of presents. The lack of presents in and of itself wasn’t strange, but the tension that I could feel between my parents was palpable. Every so often, Mom would give Dad a reassuring hug or smile, and he would return it with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“So, who wants to start?” I asked. I bounced in my seat on the couch. Maddox picked up a box from underneath the tree and tossed it at me. He gave me a bright smile.

“This one’s yours,” he said.

My heart leapt with excitement, and I could barely contain myself as I unwrapped the present piece by piece.

Inside I found a leather-bound calendar with my full name embossed on the front. The black leather shone in the glow of the Christmas tree. I just held it in my hands, staring at it for a while.

“Maddox this is wonderful,” I said.

He gave me a crooked smile. “I thought you would like it. I got enough inserts for it to last the next five years. So, you should be set for a while.”

“Thank you,” I said. I seriously would cherish it forever. I hugged the book to my chest.

We could have ended the whole Christmas morning with that, and I would’ve been happy. Then again, I still had to give Maddox his gift. I knew exactly where I’d set it. I knew it was heavy, so I’d put it on the floor. I’d wrapped it in bright green paper that had white stripes. I grabbed it and handed it to him.

“Open it,” I said.

He shook it gently and held it up to his ear. The pieces inside rattled a little. “Is it a pony?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes and my dad chuckled. Maddox tore into the paper and tossed little slivers on to the floor. Once he got all the paper off he realized what it was. A complete wooden chess set. The board was made of cherry wood and the pieces had been hand carved. The board showed a little wear and tear from use, but it just gave it character.

“Do you like it?” I asked.

“I love it. It’s... I’m not even sure if I want you to play with it. It seems like more of a decoration.”

“No,” I said. “We’ll put plenty of miles on that board. After all I won’t be living in Philadelphia forever. Then we can play chess in real life instead of online.”

He smiled, then stood up and gave me a hug. “Thank you,” he said. “I love it. Guess I’ll have to keep practicing. I can’t have you beating me on my own board.” We all laughed at that.

Maddox sat down next to me on the sofa. We both turned to my parents, waiting for them to start unwrapping their own gifts.

“So, Dad,” I asked, “What did you manage to scrounge up for Mom this year? Is her present hiding under there somewhere?” I pretended to look underneath the tree moving the last few boxes that were left.

Dad smiled and took Mom’s hand. “Actually, son,” he said. “We decided to treat ourselves this year and instead of buying gifts for each other we’re going on a cruise.”

I sat back absolutely stunned. I knew mom had always wanted to go on a cruise. A long one, not just one of those three or four-day cruises in the Bahamas. She wanted a twenty-day European cruise at the very least.

“Really? That’s awesome. Where will you be going?”

“New Zealand,” mom said quietly. She seemed to be holding back tears, obviously one of her dreams finally coming true. I was so happy for them that my heart almost burst. I wanted the kind of forever they had, only I wanted it with Maddox.

“When is the cruise?” Maddox asked.

“At the end of January,” dad said. “That’s enough about our trip, let’s have you two open your gifts.” Dad picked up two small boxes from underneath the tree wrapped in bright red and white polka dot paper. He handed one to me and one to Maddox.

“Don’t spend it all in one place.” Mom chuckled.

I didn’t get the joke, but I didn’t say anything. Everything felt very odd to me. Something was off. Maddox and I shared a questioning glance, then we tore into our gifts. We both opened them to find a plain white box, and when we lifted the lid, there was an envelope. I looked at my parents, expecting them to explain.

“Open it,” Dad said.

And so, I did. Inside my envelope, I found a deposit slip. I skimmed through it and realized that my parents had deposited a large sum of money into my bank account. I looked up in alarm, then glanced over at Maddox. He held a similar looking deposit slip.

Mom spoke, breaking the tension in the room. “Now, we know you boys are all grown up and you have your own lives. Eventually…” she crossed her fingers, “we hope that the two of you will settle down, maybe get a home together.” She lifted her shoulders in an ‘I don’t know’ gesture. “Maybe this could be your down payment? Or whatever you want.”

Dad spoke up. “There’s no strings attached to this. We just wanted to do something different.” He looked at Maddox. “You could even use this as a down payment on the store or you guys could take a trip to Europe. We don’t care. We just want you to do something for yourselves.”

“Yes.” Mom agreed.

“This is crazy,” I said. “How can you afford this? I mean, it’s a crazy amount of money, Mom.” I looked at her, assuming she would be the voice of reason here.

She looked away.

“Either you take the money now or you’ll get it as an inheritance later,” Dad said.

I snorted. “That’s a little morbid, don’t you think?”

He shrugged.

“Thank you,” Maddox said, speaking up for the first time. It was then that I realized that I was being a trite ungrateful.

“Yes,” I said, “Thank you. I do appreciate it and I’m not going to lie, it will be helpful.” I looked at Maddox and he nodded. Hopefully, we were both thinking the same thing, that eventually we could get a house together. Or perhaps replace his junker of a car. Or mine for that matter. Or simply put it in savings.

I stood up and gave my parents a big hug. Maddox did the same. It had been a long time since they’d shocked me with a gift. Being an only child, they tended to overdo it as far as gifts went, but this was beyond my wildest dreams.

I had no idea what to do with the money, besides save it. I definitely owed it to my parents to be responsible with it, since they’d trusted me enough to gift it to me free and clear.

It seemed out of character for them though, and I couldn’t shake the idea that they were hiding something. But I wasn’t about to bring it up. Not on Christmas. Today was for celebration, and love and family. Tomorrow we could ask the hard questions.

***

Chapter Nine

January

We didn’t do anything for New Year’s Eve. Maddox and I picked out a bunch of movies that we hadn’t watched yet, and we snuggled on the couch while eating popcorn. It was comfortable and quiet. The next morning, we slept in until noon. Maddox didn’t have to work, and I didn’t have to return to Philadelphia until the next day. So, we could just be together.

As we lay there in bed side by side, I knew that it was time to talk about the gift my parents had given us.

“Does it bother you?” I asked, “that my parents gave us that money?” I leaned on my elbow and gazed down at Maddox, his sleep-tousled hair spiked out in every direction, yesterday’s product worn off. It was blue today. These days he seemed to be keeping one color longer and longer then suddenly I’d come home, and he would have an entirely new one picked out. I lived for those surprises.

“No, it doesn’t bother me,” he said, “I was shocked. Although, I have to wonder what they had to cash out in order to get the money for us and for their trip.”

I nodded. “I thought about that, too” I grabbed his hand and held it, then pressed it to my lips to give it a kiss. “We’re okay, right?”

He looked at me, head cocked to the side in question, confusion crossing over his face. “What do you mean?”

I shrugged and bit my lip. “Well, the other day you made it sound like that we might not live together after I return from Philadelphia. I just want to make sure that you and I are solid. I wish I hadn’t taken that job. But I would like to finish out the year there. Unless you want me to quit? I would do that for you. I really would.”

Maddox shook his head. “No, I don’t want you to do that.” He sat up and rubbed his face with his hands, then ran his fingers through his hair. “I’ve just been a little stressed out lately. For the past couple of months really. Classes are a bitch. The store is great and doing really well and I have a lot of ideas, but it’s taking a lot of planning to actually see them come to fruition.”

“I’m really proud of you,” I said. “I think it’s awesome, all of the things you’ve done for the store. And I am glad that you enjoy it.”

“I do,” he said. “I just don’t want to fuck it up. I don’t want…” he paused, then continued “I don’t want to have to rely on you to be the breadwinner.”

“That doesn’t matter to me,” I said.

“I know. But I want us to be equals. I love you. And I want to be together. Forever.”

I sat up farther now, inching closer to him. I put my arms around him. “I want that too,” I said.

“Well good. Then we’re both on the same page.” He laughed, and I laughed with him.

“Promise me you won’t overdo it,” I said. “I don’t want you stressing yourself out. And when I come home from Philadelphia and get a job close by I can help out with the planning or whatever. And if you ever need help with your classes—”

He put his hand over my mouth and cut me off. “No,” he said. “I can handle my classes, you focus on your internship. All we have to do is get through the next couple of months. Then we can be together. Always. And who knows, maybe we can find a house.” He looked at me, eyes wide and hopeful, and I nodded furiously.

“Yes. That’s exactly what I want. House, a white picket fence, a dog.”

He chuckled. “Then it’s settled. We’ll get a dog. We just have to survive the next couple of months. Sometimes it feels like the last few flew by, so it shouldn’t be too bad.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, “if I had known it would have been this hard I wouldn’t have taken the job.”

“I know,” he said. “Besides, it’s a good test. If we can survive this, then we can survive anything.”

“Yeah, I think so too. May can’t get here quickly enough,” I said.

Chapter Ten

February

When my parents heard that I was coming to visit for a long weekend in February to celebrate Valentine’s Day, they invited us over for a big Sunday breakfast. Mom made every food known to man: eggs, sausage, bacon, ham, biscuits, gravy. It was a feast for Kings.

“What’s the occasion?” I asked as I walked in the door and looked at the smorgasbord of platters on the dining room table.

Mom shrugged. “Just thought it would be fun.”

Dad already sat at the table looking thinner, if that was even possible. Although he had a little more color to his skin since they’d just returned from their cruise.

“You guys have to tell me everything about the trip,” I said, “The few pictures that you sent were amazing. I want to hear everything.”

They had just returned a few days ago, but we hadn’t really gotten a chance to talk much during that time.

“It was amazing.” Mom’s face lit up as she spoke. “Really Seth, you have to go on a cruise one of these days.”

I snorted. “Yeah, we’ll see about that. We know how much I love water.”

Maddox laughed. “I’m more of an inland guy anyway,” he said.

We were all quiet for a moment and suddenly tension filled the air. It was as if a rain cloud had come over us all and suddenly I knew. We were here to hear bad news.

“What is it?” I asked. My shoulders tensed, and my stomach knotted. Today’s breakfast was not going to sit well. I nearly ran to the bathroom to throw up, and I hadn’t even heard any bad news yet, but I knew it was coming.

Maddox grasped my hand, and I looked at him wondering if he knew. He didn’t. His face held the same anguish and apprehension that I knew mine did. My parents exchanged a glance. My mother looked away, she couldn’t even meet my eyes. I looked at my dad. Tears rested on his eyelids, unshed. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d ever seen him cry or if I ever had.

“Just tell me,” I said.

Dad opened his mouth to speak then closing it, obviously struggling. He tried again. “Seth, I know you’ve been noticing something’s off lately. You too, Maddox. You both have asked me about it and I’m sorry to say that I lied to you. I just didn’t want to ruin the holiday season with bad news.”

“Oh, Christ.” I braced myself, unsure of what I was going to hear next, desperately hoping that it wasn’t something terrible, but I knew that it would be. Thoughts ran through my mind. Had someone died? No, that wouldn’t make sense. Was someone going to die? Oh God please don’t let it be that. Was it a divorce? No, that wouldn’t make any sense, they’d just gone on a cruise.

“I have cancer,” my dad said.

My mom let out a sob and my dad pulled her into his lap. I’d never seen them do that before. He held her in his arms.

Maddox sucked in a long breath and for a while he didn’t let it out. I looked at him wondering if he was going to suffocate from shock.

Then I wondered if I was going to suffocate as well, since I didn’t think I’d let out a breath yet either. “And you didn’t tell me? How long?”

“We didn’t want to worry you.” mom said.

“Well, I’m fucking worried now.”

Maddox squeezed my hand, silently telling me to shut up. I should have listened, but I was so angry in that moment. “What kind of cancer? What’s your prognosis? Why aren’t you getting treatment? What the fuck is happening?” Tears fell, I threw my arms in the air, acting like a complete child, but I couldn’t stop myself. “How could you keep this for me?”

“Let them talk,” Maddox said as he laid a hand on my shoulder, pushing me back into the chair. I hadn’t even realized I’d stood up.

“Did you know about this?” I asked, even though I knew he didn’t, my mind wasn’t operating logically at the moment. I was driven by pure emotion, heading straight over the point of no return.

He looked just as heartbroken as I felt. His color still hadn’t returned, and he looked like he might cry at any moment. Tears ran down my cheeks freely. I don’t know when I’d started crying and I didn’t know when I would stop.

“It’s pancreatic cancer,” Dad said, “Unfortunately, they caught it very late. The prognosis is not good. Even with treatment it’s…” He trailed off. Fatal being the unspoken word. He didn’t have to say it out loud. I knew.

“But you’re going to try, right?” Maddox asked.

I don’t know how he could form words right now. I was having trouble just forming my own thoughts.

“I’m going to start chemo this month,” Dad said, “I wanted to get through the holidays before we did anything. I didn’t want my last Christmas to be miserable.”

“Don’t talk like that,” mom said. She swatted his arm as if he had just tried to get a taste of raw cookie dough, rather than alluding to his inevitable demise.

I have no idea why she bothered. He was a dead man walking. How was I going to go on without him?

“Is this why you wanted to sell the store?” I asked. Everyone looked at me oddly, as if that was the last thing on their minds. I’m not sure why it was on mine.

Dad shrugged. “I wanted to retire for a while now, Seth. Honestly, I wish I had done it sooner. Then maybe your mom and I would have had more time.”

Mom just looked at him, and he held her against him.

“What treatment are you going to do? When does it start? What is the plan? What doctor have you been going to?” My mind started working again, reverting to the organization and planning that I craved. If we could just put together a plan, we might be able to beat this. “What is the name of the cancer?” I pulled out my phone ready to google it as soon as they told me what it was.

Dad gave me a stern look. “Don’t go doing outside research, Seth. What’s done is done. I’ve seen the doctors, I’ve gotten second opinions. It is what it is. We need to accept that.”

“No,” I said, “you have to fight it. We have to fight it.” I refused to believe that he could just give up. I refused to believe that I could possibly lose him.

“I have an appointment next week with the oncologist. You’re welcome to come along, or we can Skype you in.”

“I’ll be there,” I said, “I’ll quit my job, I’ll move back home.” I didn’t know how any of those things were going to help but I was ready to do them.

“Absolutely not,” Dad said, “you’re not going to put your life on hold just for me. The two of you…” he looked at me and at Maddox. “Have your whole lives ahead of you. Don’t worry about me, I’ve lived a long life. We’ll make the best of the time we have together and that will be that. I love you boys and I refuse to see you give up your dreams for me.”

“But I wouldn’t be—”

“No.” He cut me off, “You’re going to finish that job in Philadelphia and that’s that.”

I wasn’t sure what else there was to say, so I just stayed quiet trying to process everything that had happened, trying to prepare for everything that was going to happen.

Eventually we all ate, though we barely put a dent into the meal my mother had laid before us. Maddox and I left and went back to his apartment. We sat on the couch in silence. We had been home for about fifteen minutes, and we hadn’t even turned on a movie or anything yet.

I knew at some point I would have to drive back to Philadelphia, but I couldn’t even fathom getting into a car right now.

“I could call in sick tomorrow,” I said.

Maddox sighed. “Your dad said you don’t need to put your life on hold.”

“I feel like my life has been turned upside down. I hardly know what putting it on hold even means right now.”

Maddox snuggled against my chest and wrapped his arm around my waist. He held me tightly as he softly cried into my shirt. I laid my cheek against his head, my own tears falling just as fast and just as hard.

“It’s going to be okay, right?” I said.

“Miracles happen every day,” he said, “we can beat this. Your dad is strong.”

“Yeah,” I said. Knowing full well that miracles were rare and that the likelihood of my father miraculously recovering from a terminal cancer wasn’t going to happen.

“I think you should move back home,” Maddox said.

I started a little, then looked at him, narrowing my eyes. “What do you mean? Dad said he wanted me to stay in Philadelphia.”

Maddox rolled his eyes. “The man’s not exactly thinking clearly right now.”

“Hey.” I said.

“Sorry.” Maddox held his head in his hands. “That’s not what I meant. I just mean that I’m sure he could use the help. Your mom, too. Can’t you find something closer?”

I didn’t know what to say. We’d just had this conversation on New Year’s Day and we’d both been fine with the decision we’d made. Dad wanted me to finish my internship.

“I thought that we were just going to wait out the rest of the year. It will be fine, there’s only a few more months.”

“Yeah,” Maddox said, “That was before we found out that your dad was dying.”

“Jesus Christ, Maddox.” I knew the truth in my heart, but I didn’t want to say it out loud and I most certainly didn’t want to hear it from him. Shouldn’t we be hopeful, upbeat? Wasn’t that how people conquered the big bad “C” word?

Tears started to fall again from Maddox’s eyes and he grabbed a pillow and buried his face in it.

“This isn’t supposed to happen,” he said, “This just sucks.”

“I know.” I rubbed his back. Tears brimmed on the side of my eyes as well.

When would we ever stop crying?

“Dad said he wanted me to finish the job in Philadelphia,” I said.

“I know he did. But I really think you should listen to your heart on this one. Come back home spend as much time with your parents as you can, Seth.”

“I will. I mean, maybe I can do both. I don’t want to disappoint him by quitting, when he specifically asked me not to.”

Maddox sighed and closed his eyes. “Okay. You’re right. I just—I don’t know.”

I hugged him against me. “One day at a time, right?”

Chapter Eleven

March

Somehow March flew by without me even realizing it. I worked, I slept. I went home every weekend to see my dad and spend time with him. My dad also learned how to text so that while he was getting his chemo treatments he could text me the entire time.

I was at work when he was in the hospital, but I still made time to reply. I had to tell my co-workers about it, and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. It all felt so surreal. This was not something I had ever imagined that I would need to do. And I’m sure my dad never imagined that he would have to go through all of this either.

I thought a lot about what Maddox had said about moving back home. Quitting my job. Was I really putting my career before my family? And for a job I didn’t even like? Or was I simply making an adult choice? I had no idea. Adulting was so damn hard half the time.

Maddox and I really didn’t talk much. Even though I was home every weekend and we saw each other for dinner or in passing, we didn’t really talk about anything. Our nightly phone calls were reduced to a simple recap of our day, carefully avoiding talking about anything too serious.

We would put on a good show for my parents. I didn’t think they knew that anything was wrong. I wasn't even sure what was wrong. I knew that both Maddox and I were grieving in our own way trying to accept the curve ball that had been thrown at us. I couldn’t help but think it would be easier if we were coping together, rather than apart.

In mid-March I was called into my boss’s office. I should have known that it wasn’t going to go well. Beware the Ides of March. Wasn’t that what Caesar had been told?

It was a Friday, and I was already itching to leave even though it was only 11:30. I could hardly focus on my work when all I wanted to do was spend time with my family. My co-workers had been very supportive. My boss had been less so.

“Take a seat Seth.” Rob gestured to the empty chair directly in front of his desk. I sat and stared at him, unsure of what exactly I was supposed to say in this situation.

“I’ve noticed that you’ve been a little distracted lately.” I don’t know why he sounded surprised, I had told him about my dad’s diagnosis.

“Yes, sir I apologize for that.” I offered no further explanation. I was damn tired of second guessing myself and I wasn’t about to explain my situation again. I knew my work hadn’t suffered. I’d made sure of that. I just hadn’t been as talkative as I usually was.

“Around here,” he said, “we like to keep our work and our personal life separate. And I think perhaps you haven’t been doing that.”

Anger fired in my stomach. What could I possibly say to that? I knew my boss was a dick. I’d realized it on the first day and more so throughout the year as he’d had made countless comments about my relationship with another man. But seriously? How the fuck was I supposed to keep my personal feelings out of my everyday life in the midst of what was happening.

It was at that moment that I realized Maddox was right. I shouldn’t be at a company that didn’t value me as a person. The morale around here was lower than low. My co-workers were great, I wished I could take them all with me. But the management, that was another story.

I realized that we had been sitting here for a few minutes and I hadn’t spoken.

“I understand.” I wasn’t sure what else I could possibly say. Fuck you came to mind. But perhaps quitting would have to be saved for another day. I would have to think it through after all. Maybe it was time to write a list pros and cons of working at my dream job. I had made one before when deciding to take this internship. Maybe it was time to revisit that.

My boss just stared at me and I realize that I was being dismissed so I got up and left.

Nicole was waiting for me in our cubicle. “What happened?” she asked.

I shrugged. “I’ll tell you over lunch. Let’s go for a walk.” It was close enough to noon that the two of us left and went downstairs to the café grab the coffee and then headed outside to sit on a bench.

“I can’t believe he told you that. What happened to all that work-life balance bullshit that they told us at orientation?” She said after I’d run through the entire conversation for her.

I shrugged again, feeling numb to the pain. At this point I could care less about my dream job, all I really wanted was enough money to be able to survive and spend time with my family. Maybe career wasn’t exactly the most important thing in life.

Nicole must have sensed my disinterest in the subject, so she changed it. “Are you going home this weekend?”

I nodded. “My dad has a treatment on Saturday, so I’ll spend the whole day with him at the hospital. I think he might be staying the night there too.”

She grabbed my hand and squeezed. “It’s really cool of you to stay with him. Not everyone would do that for family.”

After the discussion with my boss I left work right at five and headed home to my lonely apartment. I grabbed my suitcase that I had packed all the time, ready to leave at a moment’s notice just in case anything should happen.

I needed to be home with my family, to be with Maddox. I wanted to tell him he was right, that my career wasn’t worth sacrificing my integrity. Maybe he would have an idea on what to do. Should I stick it out for another month and a half or just quit and call it a day? My heart and my head were both telling me different things and I had no idea which was right. Is this what adulthood would always feel like? Why couldn’t I just make a damn decision?

After my dad had been diagnosed I’d actually penned a resignation later. It sat in my outbox, just waiting for me to hit send. I told myself I just wanted to be ready in case the worst happened, but really, I had just mentally checked out from that job once my relationship with Maddox had turned sour.

Oh, I still did my work, management had no complaints there. But my heart wasn’t in it. It was hard to go to work every day and be around people who weren’t excited about their work, it didn’t give me any incentive to be excited about it either.

Maybe I was an idealist, but I really just wanted a job that I enjoyed, in the career path that I’d studied for.

I snorted at that thought. No one would ever call me an idealist.

I threw my suitcase into the back of my car, and got in. I barely had the car started before I was shifting into gear and backing out of my parking space.

Three and half hours into my trip, just two miles from the exit to Milton the car in front of me drifted off the side of the highway. It all happened in slow motion and I was helpless to stop it. The driver over-corrected swerving into the lane next to them, the truck in the left lane slammed on their brakes, but there wasn’t enough time.

The car hit the side of the truck, the momentum from their overcorrection hurling them into a tailspin and then the car rolled. And rolled. And rolled.

I hit my brakes, my eyes widening and brain racing a mile a minute as I tried to remember what the protocol was for a situation like this. Swerve? No. that would be bad at this speed. I fumbled with the dials near the radio until I found my flashers button, quickly checked my rear-view mirror. Plenty of distant between me and the cars behind me. Thank god.

It was only a matter of seconds, but it felt like years before the wrecked car finally came to a stop. I pulled to the side of the road, paused for a second because I wasn’t sure what to do. I had no training of this. No plan in place for witnessing an accident or being there first to help.

Help. Shit. I had to help them. Jesus Christ.

I fumbled for my cell phone and called 911 as I climbed over to the passenger side of car, so I could get out without walking directly into oncoming traffic.

“911. What’s your emergency?”

“Um. I’m on the highway, going west, three miles east of Milton. There’s been an accident. It just happened. Um…” I lost my train of thought. I lost my fucking train of thought. Who does that in an emergency?

“Thank you, sir. I’m sending help right away.”

I snapped back into reality as I got out of the car and hurried toward the rolled car.

“It’s a white, ugh. Ugh. Chevy Lumina. I think. I can’t tell how many people are in it.”

I was only twenty feet away now. Before I went any farther I took in my surroundings, making sure it was safe to move.

The truck that the car had swerved into was parked in the median, the damage was minimal, and the driver was out, making his way toward the rolled car. Other cars crept by, rubber necking. Some people were on their phones, probably with the police, I hoped with the police.

The car had landed upright, and I couldn’t see the person through the smashed windows. That couldn’t be a good sign.

“Sir, Sir!”

I snapped back to reality. “yes?”

“First responders are on route and should be there in a few minutes.”
“I’m gonna—Can I—I want to make sure the driver is okay. Can I do that?” Shouldn’t this be something we’re taught in driver’s training? Or something. What To Do In An Accident 101, required course for all ages.

“Did you call 911?” the man from the truck was suddenly next to me and we were within a few feet of the rolled car.

“Yeah. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just shaken. Oh, God. I hope she’s okay.” He half jogged to the rolled car and I followed.

As we approached, the driver sat upright, slowly. Her dark hair was matted to the side of her head and blood ran down her face. She was alive, although very disoriented.

I heard sirens getting closer. Thank god. The real help was here.

The driver of the truck was talking to the lady. Telling her not to move until the paramedics got there. He said something about the car being off and there not being any danger of explosion.
Explosion? I hadn’t even thought of that.

I realized I was still holding my phone to my ear. “Um. Looks like the driver is okay… relatively speaking. She is conscious, but her face is bloody.”

The 911 dispatcher asked me a few more questions and I answered as best as I could. Somehow, I managed to remain calm, despite the fact that the lady in the car continued to bleed and was going in and out of consciousness.

The entire situation felt surreal. Like I was standing outside myself watching rather than living it. I moved out of the way when the ambulance arrived and was able to get off the phone.

Once the police and ambulance arrived I got out of the way. The discussions with the police were over pretty quickly. I gave them my statement and they went on to do whatever it was that they did with that information. The crew that cleans up accidents was there, towing away the damaged vehicles and sweeping the highway. People drove by, rubbing necking as they went off course. I just wasn’t quite ready to climb behind the wheel just yet.

Six seconds. That’s about how quickly it had all happened. If I had been going just a little faster, I could’ve been caught in the crosshairs. Lots of “what ifs” ran through my mind.

What’s the point of planning everything down to the most minute detail if my whole life could change in an instant?

Oh fuck.

Was that what people were always trying to tell me? Is this what everyone meant when they said I needed to just enjoy life and live in the moment?

My stomach turned.

Sometime later, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I had no idea how long I’d been standing next to my car. The road crew worked around me, as did the police officers and first responders. I couldn’t get the image out of my head of the car rolling and rolling and rolling.

Or of the woman when she’d finally moved, blood dripping off her face, glass shards all around her. Six seconds. That was all it had taken. My life changed forever, witnessing that accident—I couldn’t describe it. This entire internship I’d been telling myself “just a year,” “just a year,” “just a year.”

Five hundred twenty-five thousand minutes. Five hundred twenty-five thousand opportunities for my life to change forever. In the scope of life, how important was my career if it meant putting my family—putting Maddox—on hold.

My phone continued to buzz. It almost seemed more urgent now, and I realized I hadn’t even answered it. I picked it up and looked at it. Maddox. Why was he calling me now? This wasn’t our usual call time. And he knew that I would be headed home today. What time was it? I answered.

“Hello?”

“Where are you?” Maddox asked. His voice sounded intense like something was wrong. Oh God. I hoped nothing was wrong. I didn’t know how much more I could handle today.

“Seth? Seth, talk to me. What are you doing? Are you okay?”

“What? Of course, I’m okay. Why?”

“I saw you on the news! They just did a segment like two minutes ago and your car was there!”

The news had been here? Sure enough, I looked around and there was the local news van loading up their equipment. I hadn’t even noticed they’d arrived. How long had I been standing here?

”I’m fine. I wasn’t involved. There was a woman—she—”

I let out a long sigh.

“Are you okay?” His voice was less urgent now, and I knew he was asking more about my mental state than my physical.

“Yeah I will be. I just want to get home.”

“Well,” he said, “your parents should be back any time.”

“No, Maddox. Your home. I want to be with you. Home is with you.”

Hopefully he got the message. I wasn’t exactly being overly articulate at the moment. But I think he got the idea.

“Sure. I can close up a little early and meet you at the apartment.”

“No.” I said, “I’ll just let myself in and take a hot shower and relax. Finish your day and we can talk after.”

“Okay,” he said.

He seemed hesitant, so I reassured him. “I’m fine. I promise. It was just a shock.”

“Okay.” He said, “I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”

“Sounds good. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

After I hung up, I immediately pulled up my email app, opened to the drafts folder and hit send on an email that had been sitting there for over a month. No way was I going back to a job I didn’t enjoy, working for a boss who was an asshole and a bigot. Asshole I could handle. It was the prejudice that I couldn’t take any longer. Life was too short. Too fragile. And I had other options.

I finally got back into my car and headed home. Turned out I was only five minutes away when I’d witnessed the accident. I let myself into the apartment and plopped down on to the sofa. What a clusterfuck of a day. Oddly enough I was very calm. I wasn’t obsessively checking my email worrying about whether or not my boss was going to respond.

Former boss.

I wasn’t scrambling to think about the ways I could retract my resignation. I was totally at peace with my decision. I felt better than I had in months. I worried, of course, about what the future might hold, but it wasn’t an all-consuming worry that had been plaguing me the last couple of months.

There was no reason I couldn’t work at the store for Maddox. Or pick up some of the old odd jobs he used to do. I checked in with my dad to see how he was doing, but didn’t let him know about my job. I had to talk with Maddox first. He deserved to know before anyone else.

Dad was doing well. The chemo was doing its job. I didn’t have any grandeur illusions that the cancer would suddenly be cured, but I was hopeful that we were at least buying some time.

Maddox came home a few hours later. I was still on the couch, but I had at least pulled up Netflix and started catching up on some shows. I should have made him dinner or something. Some house husband I would make.

He came over to me. He didn’t say a word, he just crawled onto the couch next to me and wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his head in my chest. I wrapped my arms around him and just held him for a moment. It had been a while since I’d been in his apartment and we had been together like this. We hadn’t really talked much since my dad had been diagnosed and Maddox and I had gotten into that fight about me keeping my job.

“Long day?” I asked.

“Yeah.” He sighed. “Scared the shit out of me when I saw you on that highway.”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t involved in the accident. I just saw it happen and called nine-one-one. I stayed to answer questions with the police. I wasn’t hurt.”

“I know,” he said. “Still scared me, though.”

“Me too.” I held him a little while longer until finally I blurted out, “I quit my job today.”

He bolted upright pushing hard against my ribs as he sat up.

“Ow.”

“You did what?” He ignored my pain.

“I quit. I couldn’t take it anymore. You were right. Write that one down for the record books. I admitted it. You were right.”

He rolled his eyes. “I don’t care about who was right or who was wrong. You only have a month left!”

“I have five weeks left, and I didn’t want to do it anymore. I couldn’t wake up every day and go to that place knowing that I hated it. Knowing that my boss was a bigot. Knowing that I could be at home with you, spending time with my dad, or spending time with my family doing something, anything that was more useful or more memorable.”

He must have believed that I meant it because he didn’t argue. He just looked at me and wrapped his arms around me again, hugging me close. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Well,” he said, “I can’t say that I’m not happy about it, because I am, but I feel selfish knowing that you quit for me.”

“It wasn’t just for you.” I said. “It’s for me, it’s for my family. But most of all it is for us.”

“Are you worried about what you’ll do next?” He asked tentatively.

“Yes and no. I’m not going to let it consume my thoughts right now. I have too many other things to worry about. I haven’t even updated my resume and started searching for jobs yet.”

He lifted his head and looked me in the eyes, his brow raised. “No kidding? “Mr. I-have-a-plan-for-everything hasn’t planned this out yet?”

“Nope. I’m flying by the seat of my pants.” I grinned.

He laughed. “Feels pretty good doesn’t it?”

“With you, Maddox anything feels pretty good.”

We were quiet for another moment, and I realized that we still had a little bit of discussion to do. It was now or never. “I’m sorry,” I said.

“For what? he asked.

“That I didn’t realize it sooner. That I didn’t confide in you when I should have, and that I haven’t been here for the last few months.”

He sighed and hugged me again. “You had a little bit on your mind. Your dad—" He couldn’t say anymore, but I knew what he meant. My dad was dying. But neither one of us wanted to say that out loud.

“It’s going to be okay, right?” he asked.

“Yeah, it really is going to be all right.” I felt that what I said was right. I wasn’t just saying it to make him happy. Youthful optimism was all good and well, and we might as well use it while we had it. We had the rest of our lives to be jaded.

“So, boss,” I said, “When should I report for work?”

“There’s a pretty strict interview process. Do you have any experience working in a hardware store?”

I shrugged. “A little here and there. Mostly I’ve just done a few odd jobs.”

He pretended to think for moment. “I might be able to give you a chance.”

He kissed me. Long and slow, then pulled back. “As long as you don’t mind sleeping with the boss.”

“I think that can be arranged.”

For once I wasn’t thinking about the future, at least not too far in advance. Everything would work out or it wouldn’t and there wasn’t much I could do about it. Planning was all good and well, but sometimes things just happened, and we had just had to go with the flow. Now was as good of a time as any to learn that.

Chapter Twelve

April

“What is that god-awful noise?” I groaned in my sleep addled brain.

It wasn’t a tone I recognized from either of our phones or the emergency alarm clock I kept on the nightstand just in case the cell phone alarms failed.

“I don’t know, but you should get up and make it stop.”

I picked up my head just enough to see the nightstand where my phone lay quietly, unlit.

“It’s your phone, you get it.”

If my phone was quiet, then it couldn’t be later than six a.m. when I usually woke up to get ready to go to the store

Maddox sat upright. “I know what that is. I set that alarm months ago.” He smiled at me. “Happy last day of your internship.”

It took me a minute to realize what he was talking about, then I laughed. It had been five weeks since I’d moved home. And honestly, I couldn’t be happier. My job had accepted my resignation. They’d even waived the normal two-week notice considering the circumstances of my father’s illness. Which is what they’d assumed was the reason I’d left.

In my exit interview with Human Resources I made a point to clarify the real reason behind my departure and they assured me that my manager’s behavior wasn’t something they tolerated. I’d heard from Nicole that the manager had disappeared for two weeks, on administrative leave while an investigation was conducted. But ultimately, he did return to work with nothing more than a slap on the wrist.

A few hours later, Maddox and I were both behind the counter at the hardware. Maddox sat at his computer planning his next event. It was going to be some sort of tutorial on Do-It-Yourself painting techniques. His last event had had a wonderful turnout. And he couldn’t wait for the next one. It was nice that I was here to help with the other things so that he could focus on these new avenues. We made a good team.

It was a rather slow morning, so when my phone rang I answered it and stepped into the back, so I could take the call. I came back fifteen minutes later. Maddox was ringing up a customer. Which was good because I still needed a few moments to gather my thoughts. I wish I had a notepad and pen, so I could write a bulleted list of what I needed to say instead of simply operating off the cuff.

Once Maddox was done and the customer was out the door he looked at me. He cocked his head to the side. “What’s up?”

“That was Tim Ballard from Artemis Marketing. Remember that other company that I had received an internship with?”

“The one you’d decided not to go with, even though they were 10 times closer?”

“Yeah, that one. I saw an entry level position available last week, so I sent my resume and they want me to come in for an interview. Like today.”

Maddox eyes went wide. “That’s awesome. What time?”

“Three.”

“Well, go. Go get ready,” he said.

“But what about the store? I’ve been helping here.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but we both knew that was just temporary.”

I bit my lip. “I know.”

“You got this. It’ll be fine.”

“What am I supposed to tell them about my last job and why I left a month before I was supposed to be done?”

“You can say it was due to your dad’s illness. And that you didn’t want to be that far away, which is partially true, so you wouldn’t be lying. Or you could be completely honest.”

I groaned. Why did honestly have to be the best policy?

“How about you worry about that when they ask a question.”

I rolled my eyes. “Maddox, you know I can’t do that.”

“Give it a shot,” he said.

I took a deep breath. “Sure, I will.” We both knew I wouldn’t. In fact, we both knew that I would be spending my entire afternoon and the drive to the interview rehearsing different responses for that very question and every other interview question I could think of.

“No matter how this goes, we’re solid,” he said. “And if you get this job, great. That’s awesome. If not, there will be others.”

I smiled “I know. As long as I’m with you and here at home we can do anything.”

“That’s the spirit,” he said. Then he cocked his head to the side in that adorable way he always did when he had a question for me. “When did you become such an optimist?”

I shrugged. “I think you brought it out in me.”

“Damn straight.,” he said. “There’s a reason I’m referred to as the better half.

I stayed quiet for a moment because that phrase alone had me thinking about things that were in the back of my mind all the time anyway. My better half. Marriage. We were a little young for that weren’t we? I wasn’t sure. Life didn’t come with a manual. Although I was tempted to write one.

Even without one, I knew that I could imagine myself spending a lifetime with Maddox.

The End

Other Titles by Jena Wade

Just A Series:

Just A Week

& Series:

Shoes & Ties

Lumber & Law

Forever & Always

RHI Series

Reining Him In

Roping Him In

Mechanically Inclined

Technically Dating

Jena Wade

Jena lives in Michigan with her husband, two dogs, and three children. By day she works as a web developer and at night she writes. She was born and raised on a farm and spends most of her free time outdoors, playing in the garden or tending to her landscaping.

Find out more about the author at http://www.thejenawade.com/.