Author: Erik Schubach
Date: 2014-08-18T00:00:00+00:00

Lightning Strikes Twice

By Erik Schubach

Copyright © 2014 by Erik Schubach

Self publishing

P.O. Box 523

Nine Mile Falls, WA 99026

Cover Photo © 2014 Zoom Team / ShutterStock.com license

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.  This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties.  Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited.  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review written for inclusion in a magazine, newspaper, blog, or broadcast.

This is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Manufactured in the United States of America

FIRST EDITION

ISBN 978-0-9911072-8-5

Chapter 1 – Going Home

I stared out over London and took a deep breath and smiled a little.  It was time; I was through being a coward.  I sipped my lemonade, and my head swiveled when I heard my front door open.

My best friend here in England, Candi, came walking into my penthouse condo at One Hyde Park near Knightsbridge, the only real estate I had left after my divorce.  She called out, “Vicky?  Where are you you silly bird?”  I had to grin, I remember the day I met Candice all those years ago when I had transferred from Washington State University to Oxford in my Junior year, like it was yesterday.

Well, I didn't have a choice as that is just how my brain works.  I'm triple cursed... or blessed... with an immeasurable IQ, an eidetic memory, and a mind that can't shut off.  I know how it sounds, but I'm not bragging about it... did I mention the curse part?  I'd give anything not to have these “gifts” as my parents put it.

My mind won't stop working, and I am always thinking about dozens of things at all times.  I can't help it sometimes with all the noise in my head.  It got so bad once when I was twelve that I had a mental breakdown.  My parents had me committed to a psychiatric ward and paid for the best psychologists around.

In the end it was my father, Frank Davenport, that helped me with a breakthrough.  He wondered if I could distract my always moving mind and he came up with some mental exercises for me.  He calls it creating white noise.  My dad is my hero.  He's not a doctor or a psychiatrist, but he succeeded where they all failed.  He showed me that I just have to create more white noise

He has me concentrating on solving PI.  I'm a little over seventy-two billion digits in since I started his exercises back then... 8-3-2-7-9-5-0-2-8-8  He said to do as many things like that to clear my mind of the unwanted thoughts as I could.  Some of my favorite things to do are to recite random names from the phone books from around the world, never duplicating a name once, or recite facts about animals since I love animals!

I try to concentrate on all of that white noise and not allow myself to think.  It makes me a little excitable and act a bit scatterbrained, but it helps me to drown out the noise in my head I don't want to hear.  It got me out of that godforsaken institute.  The worst six month of my life!

I had escaped to Oxford from Seattle because I had done a boneheaded maneuver and found myself falling in love with my two best friends there.  Mia and Vee Jacobs.  They were so wonderful together and the most accepting people I have ever met.

I forced myself to be around them and their baby girl, my goddaughter Abbey, and never reveal my true feelings. But my heart couldn't take it when Vee's cystic fibrosis was slowly killing her and taking her from Mia and me.  So I ran... like a coward.  I ran to England to finish school and try to start a new life here and forget about the women I loved.  It didn't work of course.  It is impossible for me to forget anything.

It took everything I had inside of me to go be with Mia and help her through the pain of Vee's death just after senior year.  I had to be strong for Mia; she was broken and her pain will probably always be there.  I couldn't show her that half my heart had died with Vee as well.  After the funeral service at their house and a few days of making sure that Mia was going to be ok, I ran again. Back to England because every fiber of my being ached that I could never tell Mia how I felt about her, especially after the loss of the love of her life.

I've never been back home since then, not even to visit my parents.  They have hopped the pond to visit me a few dozen times, but I just couldn't bring myself to be in the same city as the object of my affection, I was a married woman for god's sake; it wouldn't be right, and I shouldn't be thinking of Mia in that way to begin with.

I tried to make a life for myself here.  I found someone I thought I could love.  Beatrice... I mean, I did love her, but not in that soul affirming way that I should have.  We were married almost sixteen years before the divorce two years ago.  I knew it was coming, especially since I knew she was having an affair with her personal assistant, Todd, but I never said anything.  He even knocked her up.  But I feel like a terrible person because I feel like I was just using her for more white noise so I wouldn't think of Mia.

God, I know, it sounds like I should be committed again.  But that's me, Victoria Davenport, headcase.  Damn, now I'm thinking about her again.   2-0-8-9-9-8  Bernard G. Linquist, Deadra V. Taylor, Jacques Vanderstien.  Black-tailed prairie dogs have small, close-knit families called coteries.  I took a deep breath and looked into my condo through the open glass doors on the veranda and called out, “Out here Candi.”

I smiled as I saw her make her way through my flat and out into the crisp fall air.  She has come a long way from the almost terminally shy girl who people called the 'mouse girl.'  The years have been kind to her and she always looks spectacular in her smart business suits.  She and her husband, Leighton Birch, started up an accounting firm after he graduated from Oxford.  She is now a sharp and insightful businesswoman with a confident air.  I grinned at the thought of Leighton's receding hairline, I thought it made him look distinguished.

I tilted my head at Candi, taking in her new blouse and earrings.  “That's a cute top.”  I poured a fresh squeezed lemonade from the iced pitcher on my patio table and slid it over to her.  She took it and sat across from me as I just looked out over the city that I have come to view as my second home.

She smiled one of her endearing half smiles, “Thank you.  I'm sure you didn't ring me just to compliment my blouse.”

I rolled my eyes playfully at her.  “No... I... I have news.”

She cocked her head to the side, some of her frosted, strawberry blonde hair slid over her collar and hung in her face.  I took a deep breath.  “I... I bought an art gallery.”

Her smile bloomed.  “That's brill!  You've always had an obsession for them.  I don't know how many you do business consulting for and you were a curator for a time.  Where is it?  That cute one over by Notting Hill?”

I cringed.  This was going to be harder than I thought.  I have lots of casual friends here in London. But I can count on one hand... no, one finger, my good friends that I let in on all my secrets and hopes and dreams.  That's Candice.  I exhaled and whispered, “It's the Downtown Seattle Gallery.”

She blinked at me.  It took a moment for it to sink in.  I saw the whole gambit of emotions swirl through her eyes as they started to tear up.  But the one she latched onto surprised me and made me realize how much I loved my friend.

She covered her mouth in surprise and excitement, then she squealed and hopped up and hugged me.  She pushed away and held me at arm's length and whispered.  “My god Vicky.  You're going home!”  Tears started welling up in my eyes too as we hugged again.  Gawd I was going to miss Candi when I left.

Chapter 2 – Preparation

The next few weeks were spent finalizing the purchase of the gallery, and having my lawyers speaking with their lawyers.  Closing was taking forever and there were mountains of paperwork to go through.  With any luck, the final papers would be signed the next day, then I'd have the escrow release the four million pounds and I will be the proud owner of an art gallery.  I grinned, I have always had a soft spot for the arts.

I could easily imagine the stress it would cause an artist when a gallery some of their works are displayed at suddenly changed hands.  So I took the time to set up video conferences with each artist who had works for sale in the gallery, to personally assure them that their contracts and consignment agreements would remain unchanged.  I also requested catalogs of their works and options on future works.  I wanted to keep them happy.  That was how to run a successful gallery, by keeping the artists happy.

One main reason I chose to make an offer on the Downtown Seattle Gallery over the other galleries for sale in the region that I still, to this day, call home, was that they displayed local artists works almost exclusively.  I wanted to carry on that tradition and showcase artists from the Pacific Northwest.

I put on my reading glasses and then pulled them back off to gaze at them a moment.  They reminded me that I wasn't getting any younger.  I had to start wearing them a couple years ago as my eyesight started getting worse.  I've noticed lots of little things like that as I approached forty.  My eyesight, the little wrinkles in the corners of my eyes when I smiled, the laugh lines at the corners of my mouth that weren't there before.

By the time I actually became forty last month I had come to accept them, to some extent I think they made me look a little more mature and god forbid, sexy.  I've always looked young for my age being such a tiny woman at five foot nothing, so this was a good thing.

I looked out into the night from my veranda, at the glowing city lights.  I slipped the glasses back on and started flipping through the pages of the current contracts for upcoming works as fast as I could turn the pages, committing them to memory, when I froze.  I stared at the page, was this some sort of sign?  Some cosmic joke I hadn't been let in on?  I smiled at the name on the contract for an exclusive display of her work next month.  Her stuff was always in the highest demand, but she almost always deferred her viewings to local Seattle galleries.  I ran my fingers across the name as I read it out loud, “Mia Jacobs... two Jacob's Effect canvases to be delivered on Christmas eve for a special Christmas showing.”

Damn it, that just got me thinking of Mia again and thousands of memories flooded through my mind.  I found her little quirks the most-endearing things. Things like her OCD and her stuttering just made her more adorable.  I have heard through the grapevine that it has been over three years since her last Turrets episode.

One thing most people don't know about Mia Jacobs is that she can see patterns and understand equations instantly in a way that rivals my own grasp on math.  She... focus Vicky! 1-7-0-6-7-9. Ceilia L. Bernard, Harrison D. Dennison.  A baby Chinese water deer is so tiny that it can fit in the palm of your hand.

It took a bite of my turkey sandwich and chuckled at my concession, it was Thanksgiving in the States today after-all.  Then I continued flipping through the contracts.  It was a little light, they must not do a lot of legwork to get new consignments.  I think they were just banking on the prestige of the gallery and resting on their laurels and depending upon the talent coming to them.  That can be detrimental to any business.  Well, I guess they were feeling it, that's why they started taking offers on the gallery.

That was all going to change.  I'd get on the curator's ass to engage the art community and solicit local artists and engage upcoming talent at the university level to keep my gallery at the forefront of their minds.  You never know who will develop into the next big thing in the art world.

I pulled up a new email from the seller.  Oh good, that would be the personnel records I requested might as well commit them to memory, I wanted to speak with each employee personally via video chat to ensure them that their jobs were safe to prevent any pre-handover exodus.  I'm pretty sure I won't be the curator's favorite person when I push them to engage the art community more, but I need a strong right arm to get things done.  It would be more like a partnership than an employee boss paradigm.

I opened the attachment and glanced at the list and eeeped with a grin.  You've got to be shitting me! I stopped what I was doing right away as I pulled up the curator's records with a smile on my face. I committed her record to memory and absently walked to the railing of the veranda and pulled out my mobile.  No, my cell.  I'm getting all British-ized here.  Oh, I'd so make an awesome Brit!

I sometimes catch myself saying 'bloody', or 'loo', and the like at times.  I guess some speech patterns and mannerisms would have to wiggle their way in from the culture after two decades.  I'll have to like, wear a U.S. flag for a shirt for like a month when I get back home, to get re-Americanized. I had pulled off my glasses and caught myself absently chewing on the earpiece again.

I suppressed a chuckle at my line of thought as I pushed my glasses back on and casually dialed the personal phone number for the curator instead of their office number.  The gallery was open until two in the afternoon on Thanksgiving and any good curator would be on the floor and not at their desk, so their personal cell was my best bet. I slapped my hand over my mouth to prevent a giggle when the woman answered with all the venom in the world.  “What!?  This better be good you flippin' blocked number or I WILL hunt you down!  I'm at work for God's sake!”

I silently chuckled and pulled myself under control and said, “I'd like to order a large with pepperoni and extra cheese... oh and do you have bread sticks?”

The woman hissed back in such a cold tone that if I didn't know her, I probably would have been very afraid, “You've gotta be fucking kidding me.  What's your name?  I'm going to start with you then work my way through everyone you have ever known!”

My stomach was shaking with silent laughter when I decided I was already pushing my luck.  “Oh, my gawd, Missy.  Missy Hannigan, it's me, Vicky Davenport.”

Her voice changed radically, it became such a softer tone, I swear I could hear her smiling.  Instead of the harbinger of pain and suffering, it now had a decidedly sarcastic and slightly excited tone.  “Vicky you hyperactive bitch.  I was about to go all postal on you!  To what do I owe the pleasure of one of the Three Lez-migos calling me at work?  My God, it's been what?  Twenty years?  Couldn't this have waited until I got home?”

I just grinned.  Her politically incorrect abusive banter was such a part of her character back in college it was good to see some things never change.  At the same time, it was also a little sad.  I had to wonder what happened to her growing up that caused her to use this as a coping mechanism to make sure people never got close to her.

Then I frowned a little at the memory of people in college calling Mia, Vee, and me, the Three Lez-migos because we were inseparable friends and all gay or bi in my case.  I hadn't heard that term in two decades.  This just brought back the searing pain in my heart that Vee was no longer with us.  I felt her death like it was yesterday.  8-3-2-7-9.  Fernando S. Alverez, Marie L. Santiago.  Chows are the only dogs that don't have a pink tongue.

I took a calming breath and chirped out, “Yes, it has been twenty years, and this sort of is a business call.  You've heard that the gallery is being sold?”

She paused and said, “Yes.  The owners, Carl and Vanessa Schumann, are being secretive and hush hush about it.  Did they call you in to consult on the sale?  They do know you're as flaky as a bowl of cereal don't they?”

This woman was so funny, I have no clue why we were so scared of her back in the day.  I was shaking my head to myself as I responded, “You talk to all your bosses that way?”

I counted through the ensuing silence with a half smirk on my face, it took her five seconds to respond.  “You're the buyer?”  But then her false bravado was back.  “Don't expect me to like shine your shoes and shit.”  Another pause.  “Shit... are you firing me here?  Is that what this call is about?  I know we didn't always get along, but I know my stuff and...”

I interrupted and almost chuckled over the fact that it is usually me that goes all supersonic babbly and people have to stop me.  This may be the first time ever that I have had to stop someone else from babbling.  “No, no, no Missy.  Your job is safe.  That's why I'm calling.  To let you know that and to let you know that I want to set up a time later to brainstorm ways to get our gallery more active in the local art community and to actively pursue more local talent.  We need to turn the gallery around and remind people why we are the premiere gallery in Seattle.”

I heard her exhale and she was suddenly very professional, all of her sarcasm was placed to the side and I could tell instantly how she had landed the position to begin with.  “Thank God.  I have been pushing the Schumann's for two years to try to engage more artists and upcoming talent.  I warned them that the luster of the gallery had been tarnishing over the years and that could be the death knell for the gallery.  I hated that I was right.  I can't wait to sit down with you and pitch some ideas.”

I grinned, it seemed Missy was on the same page as I was, this wasn't going to be as hard as I thought it would be.  But then my blood ran cold as she added.  “Wait until I tell that spaz Mia about this.  She'll freak out, she's been trying to get you to come home since...  well since it happened.”  Leaving Vee's death unspoken between us.

I said hoarsely, “No!  Don't tell her yet.  I... I need to get the nerve to tell her myself.  I... owe it to her.”

Missy was quiet for a moment then said with a soft, understanding tone, “I understand.”  Then she added, “And Vicky...”

I answered with a cocked eyebrow, brushing my light blonde locks out of my eyes, “Yes?”

Then she said in a calm voice, “I don't care if you are my boss.  If you hurt her... if you run, again... everything I said about hunting you down earlier, my husband and I will do that.”

Shit!  There was that odd protective streak she had over Mia again.  She made Mia's life a living hell in high school then college until Mia and I were attacked in a club parking lot on Halloween in our freshman year.  I thought this back then, but I'm sure of it now, she always saw Mia as a friend, she just used her abusive words as a shield so they never got close.  Damn, Missy needs some professional help.

I nodded like she could see me and replied, “I know.”  I let that percolate for a second or so then I perked up.  “I'll be calling you after the sale is finalized and we can bounce some ideas around.  I'm hoping to be back in the States before Christmas.”

Missy said absently, “For her showing...  that will be good.  Ok, you blonde freak, I'll talk to you later.”

I smiled and replied in kind, “Ok you abusive wench, talk to you later too.”  Then I added wistfully, “And Missy?”

She responded, “Yes?”

I looked out over the twinkling lights of London, the rain had started, and I wandered over and grabbed my stuff from the little patio table and walked back into my condo.  “It really is good to hear your voice.”

There was another pause and she said quietly like she didn't want the universe to hear, “You too. Bye Victoria.”

I squinted a bit and waved at thin air as I said, “Bye.”  Then I hung up.

I took a deep breath and sat on my couch, put my paperwork and iPad on the glass coffee table, and took my reading glasses off.  I rubbed the bridge of my nose a second and refocused.

I turned my attention to all of the businesses I consult for.  I was paring back to just a couple that meant something to me.  A museum, and a gallery here in London that I had curated for, a few years back.  I was going into semi-retirement.  I wanted to concentrate almost solely on my Seattle gallery, this was important to me, I had to do it right.  Maybe one day I could make Mia proud of me.

I had already closed accounts with eleven fortune 500 businesses in the past couple weeks and only had the Kagawa Group to finalize things with.  I absently dialed the number from memory on my mobile as I curled into the couch, pulling up every detail of the Kagawa Group contracts and financials in my head like they were sitting right in front of me.

They answered on the second ring.  I replied, “Kon'nichiwa,” and then went about finalizing my work with them.  I had located for them, a person who had come almost as highly recommended in the financial consulting field as me.  Then I concluded our call with, “Dōmo arigatōgozaimashita. Keiyaku o kanryō suru tame ni, watashi wa raigetsu go renraku sa sete itadakimasu,” letting them know I would contact them next month to make sure everything went smooth in the transfer to the new consultant then I hung up.

I looked at the phone and smiled.  On a whim in my junior year, I thought it would be fun to learn Japanese.  So I took a week to learn to read and write the language.  It still took a couple months to be able to speak it fluently.

I pulled a throw blanket over myself and snuggled in for a nap.  That's another thing that just snuck up on me the past few years.  I always used to be full of boundless, hyperactive energy.  But lately I have learned to appreciate a good nap.

I woke to Candi walking in the front door.  She smiled over at me and walked over to join me on the couch.  I smiled at her and she just sat and laid a hand on my head and stroked my blonde locks with a look of nostalgia in her eyes.  Then she sat up straight and said, “I just thought I'd drop by and say Joyous Thanksgiving, or whatever it is you bloody Yanks say.”

I looked at the woman fondly.  If my parents are not in the country on holidays, U.S. or otherwise, or my birthday, Candice has always made it a point to come over and help me celebrate.  My wife had hated Candi, she always thought we had something going on with each other.  I guess she didn't recognize what friendship looked like.  I still wonder what I saw in her that I married her, but after my divorce, Candi made doubly sure to come to celebrate, she says, “Nobody should be bloody alone on a holiday, even if they are just Yank holidays.”

I knew that she knew darn well what us 'Yanks' said, she was always playing.  I said, “Happy... happy Thanksgiving you ill-behaved Brit.”

She grinned hugely at me and we just started discussing goings on from the past couple days.  It haunted me that this was something that I would miss terribly when I moved back home.  But I swear I will fly her over from time to time, or come visiting her on vacations often.  She's been my best friend for twenty years after all.

I smiled a little later when someone timidly knocked on the door.  I rolled my eyes, “Come in Leighton, you know you never have to knock you silly man.”  This guy works late every night, I'll have to reinforce to him before I go that he needs to spend more time with Candi and less time at work.

Then for almost the last time, us three friends ordered in food and watched a movie together on the telly... um television.

Chapter 3 – Goodbyes

I got everything wrapped up business-wise after Thanksgiving.  Plus, I was the proud owner of an art gallery!  It took almost half of my funds to do it.  It wouldn't have made such a large dent if  Beatrice hadn't of bilked me for millions in the divorce settlement.  I could have fought it, but I didn't want it to get drawn out or messy.  I can always make more money, I have a certain knack for business.

Then all the pain of packing up my belongings began and arranging for storage in the States until I could find a place of my own.  I wasn't about to inconvenience mom and dad by imposing upon them, I hadn't earned that, I've been a terrible daughter staying away from home for so long.

Candi came by after work every day to help out.  I still couldn't believe it was already three days until Christmas.

Candice walked over to the wall and laid a hand on the shadowbox frame of the last picture hanging.  The way she ran her fingers over it let me know she was deep in the memory of when I had shared the significance of it with her when I first came to England.

That was probably my most-precious belonging.  It was a framed photo of Mia, Vee, and me, staring off into the night sky.  I was taken by Vee's English Lit professor at an outdoor poetry reading of Vee's works under the stars.  It is my favorite photo in the whole world.  I remember that day, that moment, like it happened just yesterday.

Those wickedly evil girls pretended to lose the photo and I was heartbroken, but at least I had it stored in my memory for all time.  What really happened was that they spirited it away to get it professionally mounted and matted in a shadowbox frame, with movie ticket stubs from shows we all saw together and a friendship bracelet Vee and Mia had woven for me on display.  They gave it to me on that one perfect Christmas... when Valhalla had proposed to Mia.

I know it makes me sound mental, but I speak to that picture all the time, I speak to the girls when I need to know if I am doing the right things, or when I need to check my moral compass, or when I am feeling melancholy and just need to see the women that I had fallen in love with like a total fool.

Candice took it in both hands and seemed to take a deep breath then lifted it off the wall.  She hesitated then turned with a smile for me.  “I'll just pack this away with your luggage.  It won't do to have this stored away with your other stuff until you get situated over the pond.”

I exhaled.  I didn't even know I was holding my breath.  “Ok.”  I put my hand on her arm as she passed then looked at her with a warm smile.  “What did I ever do to get such a wonderful friend?”

She shook her head and headed into my bedroom to pack the picture, calling out over her shoulder, “Well if I remember right, you had sort of bloody ambushed me into becoming your roommate over at Uni.”

I snorted then shot back rapidly, “Hey it wasn't an ambushing lady.  You were just too shy to speak much so I just helped you along.  You're not complaining are you?  Cuz if I remember correctly, and I always do, you wouldn't have met Leighton if I hadn't taken you in.  Then you'd be all moping, and single, and junk, and you'd have like ninety-three cats and still be working in the office at Oxford with la Ice Queen, and you'd be all...”

I was stopped by a smiling woman placing a finger on my lips as she returned, suppressing a chuckle.  “Vicky, slow down you silly bird, only the squirrels in the park can keep up with you when you go all supersonic like that.”  I glanced at the little unicorn tattoo on her wrist then scrunched my nose at her and we both shared a chuckle.

She grinned at me. “There are times Victoria, that you act so mature that I'm afraid you had grown up and lost that playful, hyper, Vicky spark, but then you go and prove me wrong like this.”

I blushed and shoved her playfully then I looked around at my condo.  Most of the boxes had already been moved out by the shipping company, the rest would be taken today.  I had already sold my Range Rover.

My three suitcases were packed in the bedroom.  The place looked almost barren, spartan with nothing but the furniture in it.  That warmth of a home was now absent from it.  The next owners would turn it into their home and bring the warmth back.

Speaking of.

I walked to the counter in the kitchen.  “Candi?”

She joined me.  I wouldn't be saying goodbye until early this afternoon, but I was already filling with emotion, Gawd I was going to miss her!  She cocked her head at me and I smiled and slid a manila envelope across the counter and absently removed my condo key from my keychain and placed it on top of the envelope.  “Merry Christmas.  I love you so much brat.  I hope you and Leighton make this a good home for you and your little shy babies.”

I grinned at that.  She had found out a couple weeks ago that after fifteen years of trying, and them giving up, that she was finally pregnant.  They had put themselves on the waiting list to adopt a child a couple months back before they got too old to be parents.

She blinked at me and slid the paperwork out of the envelope and stared at the deed to the condo. Her jaw was moving, but the words weren't coming out.  Finally, she said incredulously, “Vicky, what did you do?  You can't do...”

It was my turn to silence her with my finger across her lips.  “You shush.  I can and I did.  There is nobody else I'd want to have the penthouse.  It is bought and paid for and I couldn't stand to sell it off to some stranger.  I love your little British ass lady, let me do this, please?”  Her eyes were watering up and she just nodded and hugged me.

She wiped a tear away.  “Good god woman.  Stop making me cry, it is going to be hard enough later today.”

I smiled at her and took a deep calming breath myself.  Then I grinned. “Well, seeing as how I have neither a car nor a place to live anymore, how bout you give me a ride out to Oxford?  I want to say goodbye to Professor Klein in person instead of on the phone.”  Oooo I'm homeless now, I'd so make an awesome street person!

She grinned and nodded.  We grabbed my luggage from the bedroom and headed for the elevator and loaded up into her red SUV and we were headed west to Oxford.  We just talked about everything, but me leaving as she drove.  Neither of us wanted to think about it and we just chatted like we always did.

Then before we knew it we were pulling into one of the almost deserted parking lots and into a visitor slot at the University.  It looked almost like a ghost town with just a couple campus workers walking around, a professor or two, and a few students that didn't go home for the holidays.  This place was usually packed.

Candi pulled up her iPad and started reading one of her cheesy romances and wiggled her fingers in a dismissing motion at me with barely restrained smile on her face. “Shoo, I know you need to do this alone.  I have Sheila and Greg here to keep me company.”

I rolled my eyes, I swear she is addicted to those sappy books.  I hopped out and grinned at her through the window.  She remained focused on her reading, but her smiling smirk gave her away.  This caused me to smile all the way into the science hall.

I stutter stepped when a prim and proper sixty-year-old woman in a sharply pressed white business suit, with a skirt that fell below her knees, and her silvered hair pulled up in a severe bun came walking past.  She paused when we were side by side and just stared ahead, not looking at me.  “Ms. Davenport.”

I stared straight ahead, mocking her mannerisms and her tone, “Mrs. Barrows.”

I swear to the holy platypus that the woman actually suppressed a smile as she continued walking. Heaven forbid la Ice Queen ever smiles.  Mrs. Barrows, formerly Ms. Templeton before she married the Dean, was probably the most stick-up-the-ass-y person in the seven known universes.  But there was heat between her and Dean Barrows.  She was... well, I don't know, even to this day I still don't know what her position was here.  She sort of ran the everyday business of the university as a head mistress. Oh Gawd, she'd so make an awesome mistress.

She was like my personal nemesis when I went here.  I didn't conform to the idealized version of how she believed an Oxford student should comport themselves and made it her life's duty to try to make me fit the mold.  She failed, go me!

I have heard from multiple sources that when they have recruited new students over the years, she never fails to mention my name as a distinguished alumni.  Yeah, I'm kind of fond of her too in an odd way.  And let me tell you, back then she was pretty damn hawt, looking like Emma Frost from the X-Men and all.

I stepped into the physics lecture hall and scanned the whiteboards lined up off to the side with a tall man who always reminded me of Professor Dumbledore from Harry Potter, complete with more wrinkles and wild white hair than I remember.  He taught quantum mechanics here at Oxford and was always asking my opinion on his research because I was one of the few that could actually understand his computations.  He was an absent-minded man but completely and utterly brilliant.  He still calls me from time to time when he needs a fresh set of eyes to look an equation over.

He was the only professor here at Oxford that didn't seem put out by my attitudes and random personality, and the fact that I never brought books or other study materials to class since I had them all committed to memory.

I said softly, “Professor Klein?”  He continued to work on his equation that spanned four whiteboards.  I glanced at it, and it was beautiful!  I cleared my throat and he turned toward me for a moment before turning back to his math.

He absently said, “Miss Davenport.  I was wondering if I might impose upon that marvelous brain of yours for a moment.”

I smiled at him fondly, he was one of the few people that had a better grasp on mathematics than I did and I found that refreshing.  The six foot four man was still thin as a rail, but looking frailer than when I had attended here and a little hunched over, but he still dwarfed me.  I love being tiny.  I've always said it is just concentrated awesomeness!

I replied with my familiar, “Sure thing Doc!”  He smiled wistfully as he worked, I know he enjoys me calling him Doc.  He says it reminds him of the scientist in Back to the Future.  I found it funny that he had seen the film let alone any film with as much time as he spends with his calculations.

He tapped his lips with the marker he was using as I started absorbing the formulas written on the huge whiteboards.  I had done this so many times when I went here, and as usual it was like looking at a symphony! It was so beautiful and took up all the corners of my conscious thought to process it.  It drowned out all the noise, all the voices, without the need for me to create white noise.  I always saw it as if  I saw the shape of music in the air around the boards.

I paused at one point and looked at the disassociation of the Planck scale violation, that brought back memories to another time I helped him just like this.  I pointed, “This should be a non-local structure.”

He squinted through his exceedingly thick glasses and quickly scribbled in a correction for the strings moving in space-time and nodded.

He put his maker down on the tray of the board and just like so many times before, we both silently stepped back to take it all in again.  The music of the equation was playing flawlessly now, in perfect harmony with the music in my head, I could listen to it all day like this.

Then Doc murmured absently, “Well done Miss Davenport.  Well done!”  He smiled but then he glanced at me before turning back to the board and squinted. “What are you doing here?  I thought you graduated recently.”

I smiled fondly at the old man.  “Yes, just eighteen years ago.”

He nodded thoughtfully and I continued.  “I just came to say goodbye.  I'm moving back to the States and I just wanted to tell you in person.”

He tore his eyes off of the boards and for the first time since I met the man, he gave me his full attention.  He regarded me and looked me up and down like a parent would.  Then he shook his head. “What happened?  You're all grown up now.  You'll truly be missed Victoria.”  Damn it, why did he have to go and use my first name for the first time since I've known him?  Now I'm tearing up.

I grinned and said, “Yes sir, time marches on.” Then I hugged the old coot.

He returned the hug and held me at arm's length.  Then said slyly, “I hope I can still call and pick that beautiful brain of yours from time to time.”

I slipped a handwritten card into his hand with my mobile number on it and said hoarsely, “You better.  I'll miss you too old man.”

He grinned as I left, I looked back as I reached the door and he gave me one last sad smile then turned back to his equations.  I took a deep cleansing breath then composed myself and started marching out to Candi's car.

As I walked past the glass cases at the doors that displayed the current events and fliers where Mrs. Barrows was hanging a notice.  She said almost too low for me to hear, “Good luck Ms. Davenport.”  Of course, la Ice Queen and her demon-like hearing heard us talking.

I stopped walking but didn't look at her, she didn't need to know I was crying.  I whispered, “Thanks.”  Then I added, “For everything.”  Then walked outside into the crisp winter air.

It started raining as I walked to the car, it was bone chilling.  Damn that's one thing I'm looking forward to, real snow in the winter.  I mean we get snow in London, but it is rare and doesn't usually stick around long.  But it is nothing like what we get in the Cascade Mountains back home.

Candi looked up from her reading as I approached and looked away, started the car, and pretended not to notice I had been crying.  But the no looking thing gave her away.  I hopped in and shook my head at her, smiling.

As she got us back on the road toward London again, she absently reached her right hand into her purse and pulled out a tissue.  I grinned at the evil woman and took it, I dabbed the corners of my eyes and pulled down the sun visor and looked into the mirror on the back of it.  I wiped my eyes carefully and made myself presentable again.

Once I flipped the visor back up she finally turned to me.  “That wasn't so bad now was it?”

I chuckled and looked up.  “God.  It was like saying goodbye to a surrogate grandfather.  I feel terrible, like I am abandoning my family all over again.”

She dismissed that with a wave of her hand, “Oh tish tosh woman.  You aren't abandoning anybody. You still don't get it do you?  You're going home after so long.”  She nodded firmly once. “We're all so bloody excited for you.  And I'm pretty sure you'll remember all of our phone numbers.”

I just rested my hand on her arm and gave a thankful squeeze.  I knew she would be bawling like a baby same as me after we say our goodbyes.  Once we hit London proper, she deftly navigated the streets up to her office.  She pulled to the curb and tapped the horn.  A minute later, Leighton came walking up to the glass door at the base of the stairs up to their accounting firm and flipped a sign that said, “Gone for Tea” He then locked the door behind him.

He slipped into the back seat and said in his shy way,  “Ladies.”

I just turned back and grinned at him.  Candice angled her rear-view mirror a bit to see him and smiled as she said, “Love.”

Where Candi had gained confidence and bearing over the years to supplant her shy streak that was so vast it almost swallowed up the galaxy, Leighton was still the same super blush-y guy... like now. His cheeks turned red as we got back on the road heading toward Heathrow.  My anxiety was building the closer we got to the airport.

My mind wandered to the reason I was going home.  I was done hiding.  It was time to face my fears. To face... her.

Have you ever grown so close to someone that you just knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that that person completed everything that you were?  That you lived for their smile, for their laugh.  That you knew every facet of what made up their soul and they knew yours?  Every glance into their eyes set your heart fluttering and every, head tilt, every touch set off a tuning fork inside you.  A person that you would share everything with, without reservation? Endless hours sitting up late into the night sharing your hopes and dreams, your secrets, your fears and feeling their like they were your own?

Knowing every detail of their face... how many freckles, how many flecks of color in their eyes. The way their eyes twinkle when they smile, every graceful curve of their neck.  Knowing that you would do anything for them just as they would for you?

Yeah.  Like that.

I made the mistake of letting that happen to me twice... with two women I could never have, because they had each other.  So I could never admit my feelings.  Then one was torn away from us by a cruel disease.  That was the end of all hope for me.  Mia was now alone without Vee, the only woman she could love.  Her once in a lifetime lightning strike.

Leaving me feeling guilty that I harbored these feelings for her.  It wasn't right before, and now with Vee gone, it was twice as inappropriate.  Then like a coward, I left the last object of my affection alone, in her pain and grief.  Having to pick up the fractured pieces of her life on her own without her remaining best friend.  I was less than dirt.

It was time though.  I would face her, I... could... face her.  I can control my feelings and try to mend a friendship I had so completely betrayed if she will let me.  I replayed every news article in my head.  Every video clip, every photo with fleeting glances of her in every newspaper, magazine, a news report from the past twenty years that showed her strength of will as she became a driving force in the art world. To attain a place among the masters.  God I was so proud.

Of course, my mother discreetly fed me information about Mia as well, and I still maintained all of Mia's investments and finances for her, it was the least I could do.

I still sent birthday and Christmas cards to Mia and my goddaughter Abbey.  I would send handwritten letters from time to time when I was feeling nostalgic.  She would always respond.  Her notes were always so upbeat, so full of love.  I could almost feel like I had never betrayed our friendship when I read those. She would always ask when I was going to visit, when I was going to... come home.  I would always give vague replies.

God forgive me.  I still love her like I did back then.  I shook that thought out of my head and then realized that, my god, Abbey is in her senior year of college now.  I had kept tabs on her from afar as well.  I've never ceased to be amazed at her accomplishments and have never been so proud of someone.

When I had heard that Abbey was delayed a year for entry into the New York Art Academy because she submitted her portfolio late and they had already filled all the seats for the year.  Discreet inquiries revealed that she was the first alternate if anyone deferred.  I secretly pulled in a favor from the Dean of Admissions at the Regency Art College in France, who's financial portfolio I managed, to arranged for the acceptance of a boy from the Academy, freeing a place for Abbey in New York.  I'd do anything for my goddaughter.

I grinned at the thought of who her love interest was.  Mom told me that Abbey had met the daughter of Skylar Roth at the art academy in New York, Samantha.  I smiled at that.  I had met Skylar here in England so many years ago.  She was such a talented singer but was ashamed of her burn scars that covered half of her body for some reason.  I called dad to see if he could pull some strings with Mandy Fay Harris to get Skylar invited to the first ever Karaoke Queen competition all those years ago.

She didn't win, but she came out of her shell and showed everyone her beauty and strength.  She wound up becoming the lead for one of the most-popular bands of all time... Satin Thunder, and Samantha was her daughter.  I grinned.  If she had half of the strength of her mother, then I definitely approved of Abbey's choice.  Damn it, I was crying.  3-2-7-9-5-0-2-8-8-4.  Rajid An Allhl, Marion F. Travers, Julie Lindquist. If you lift a kangaroo’s tail off the ground, it can’t hop.  My thoughts were slowly drowned out as I added a few dozen more strings.

“Earth to the Vickster?” Candi was saying.  I quickly dried my eyes with a tissue again then I smiled at her.  She grinned back with a sad shadow hanging in her eyes, damn the evil woman, she knew what I was thinking about.  Then she said, “I was saying we're here you silly bird.”

I looked around.  We were in the parking structure at the airport.  I smiled again in apology and we all hopped out and Leighton took two of the three big suitcases.  Candi grabbed the third and I felt useless as I grabbed my little carry-on.  We chatted and joked as we entered the bustling airport. Bloody hell there were a lot of people.  Umm I mean...  holy crap there were a lot of people.

I chuckled to myself.  Duh, it is one of the busiest airports in the world, this was only my fourth time here and it seemed busier each time.  We stood in line to get my baggage checked with Candi mothered me.  Making sure I had everything.

Once we got all that sorted they walked me to the security queue... line, and stood with me.  I was getting more and more anxious.  I was almost up to the metal detectors and we finally did what we were trying so hard to put off and we said goodbye to each other.  This had a feel I had felt one other time in my life that a chapter of my life was closing, it was the end of an era.

I hugged Leighton and kissed him on the cheek and said, “Goodbye you lunk.  Take care of Candi for me.” He just nodded and whispered, “Fair winds Vicky.”  Then he sort of faded back and away, letting us girl talk as privately as one could while standing in line with strangers.

My voice was shaky with threatening tears as I said hoarsely, “God I'm going to miss you Candi.  I love you so much.  You're my best friend and I feel like I'm...”

She placed a finger on my lips shushing me.  “Vickster, slow down.  Don't worry so much.  You're going to be brill.  I love you too.  Now get going.  I'm so proud of you.  I do plan on visiting your sorry Yank ass.”

We hugged for what seemed like forever, then my turn came up to go through security and we released each other, we were both silently bawling and she kissed my cheek and smiled and stepped away.

After going through security, I looked back as I made my way to the concourse.  We kept waving and crying until she was out of sight.  God I was so sappy and emotional at times.  I was going to miss her counsel so much.

I took a deep cleansing breath and tightened my grip on the handle of my carry-on bag and nodded once in resolve as I approached the gate.

I spoke out loud to myself and admitted what everyone had been telling me for weeks, “This is it Vicky, you're going home!”

Chapter 4 – The Gallery

I tried to sleep on the plane ride across the pond.  I really did.  I tried to drown out my thoughts my apprehension, my fears, with as much white noise as I could generate.  But I found that even with that, there was the underlying fear of my first meeting with Mia.  The fear that she would never be able to forgive me.

It seemed like the flight was taking months instead of under ten hours.  With the time differences, I would appear to arrive less than two hours after I left since there is an eight hour time difference between London and Seattle.

I started reciting the Declaration of Independence, backwards, while inserting the Constitution on every other word, and simultaneously recalling the genus and phylum of every cataloged animal and plant, giving each a silly name based upon what they looked like to me.  It wasn't working, I needed something boring to put me to sleep, but everything was exciting to me.

Then I started replaying my psychology professor's endless droning lectures that I'm sure he crafted to put even the most astute students to sleep.  I have three of them playing along with my white noise. Ahhh... that's the ticket.  I was just starting to get a little drowsy when the 'fasten seatbelts' sign lit and the captain's voice came out over the intercom. Informing us that we had started our decent toward SeatTac Airport.  Son of a...

I smiled at the little girl across the aisle, she seemed genuinely excited to be arriving in Seattle.  I spoke with her and her mother a bit on the trip.  The mother, Ronnie, and her cute little daughter Sophie were coming to Seattle on their first vacation to the States and were excited to have new experiences.  Ronnie's sister lived in Seattle and was going to show them around.

I gave her Roberta Valentine's phone number since they seemed interested in hiking in the mountains.  Even in England people have heard of the legend of Silent Bob.  I knew her personally, well I'm sure things have changed in twenty years, but she was good people and from what I read, her horrific accident in the mountains hasn't slowed her down a bit.

As I made my way off the plane and into the customs queue, my exhaustion finally hit me.  Oh, come on, how is that remotely fair?  I just suffered through the line, thinking about how I should keep myself awake as long as I could tonight, to stave off jet lag.  Start retraining my body to my new timezone.

The woman at the counter at customs did a double take at the dates stamped on my passport and then blinked.  “Welcome home Ms. Davenport.”  I smiled a thanks back at her.  Then she asked if I had anything else to claim besides what I had put on the customs form.  I said, “Nope.” She stamped my passport and slid it back over to me.

Now I know I was being stupid and irrational.  But as I took my carry-on bag and walked past the counter.  That painted line on the floor gave me pause.  That was the line that indicated I was crossing back over onto U.S. Soil.  I hesitated staring down at it.  Then I took a deep breath, steeled my nerves and raised my chin in defiance to my own feelings and stepped across that line.  Watch out Seattle, Vicky is back!  I yawned and giggled internally.  And Vicky is tired!

It was a comedy of errors getting my three huge suitcases from the baggage claim carousel when they all weighed almost as much as I did.  A female soldier in uniform stepped up and snagged the last one for me with one hand and put it in front of me like it weighed nothing, shooting me a knee-buckling smile.  Good god!  Women in uniform make me purr.  I mean... yum!  Wait I know her!  She has been on the news for like the past fifteen years.  She's a frigging hero!  McKenzie Meyers!  What did they call her?  I reviewed all the news reports in my head... Dead Shot.

I offered my hand and she shook it as I said softly with reverence in my voice, “Thank you Miss Meyers.  And thank you for your service.”  She gave me a nod.  There was something in her eyes behind the boundless strength, like a shadow, something haunted.  I've seen it before, in soldiers who have had to kill before, and it broke my heart.  I just nodded back and she wordlessly snagged a big military duffel bag and slung it over her shoulder effortlessly with one hand and then she just disappeared into the crowd.

Now I was stuck with the dilemma of somehow getting four suitcases out to the taxis.  I hadn't thought this through enough obviously since I wasn't meeting anyone here.  I should have just had the stuff shipped ahead to the hotel I was going to be staying at until I found a place to live.  I glanced around and saw a porter by a column and waved him over.

The young man was more than happy to grab a cart for me to load my bags onto.  I thanked the bloke, ummm guy, and he just blushed shyly.  I almost giggled, I mean, good god man, I'm old enough to be your mother.  Or your really hawt older sister at least.  Oooo I'd so make an awesome MILF!

I got out to the taxis and the queues were pretty long, it was still mid-afternoon here.  I decided to spoil myself, I rarely spent any money on myself if it wasn't clothes.  I moved over to the hired cars instead and looked at the man in a proper driver's uniform and pointed at my bags and then at the sedan he was standing by.

He was quick to move.  Loading my bags into the trunk and then opening the door for me.  He said, “Hello ma'am, my name is Harold.”

I nodded up at the clean cut man in his late thirties with salt and pepper dark brown hair, he had piercing hazel eyes.  He was probably six foot two or three the way I had to crane my neck up to look at him.  “Victoria,”  I corrected.  I hated how snobbish my name sounded, but I hate being called ma'am even more, and I only let friends and family call me Vicky anymore since it made me sound, I don't know, less mature maybe?

He shut my door then rushed around and got into the driver's seat and started pulling away from the curb and another sedan slipped into the spot smoothly.  He looked at me in the mirror as he handed a card back to me as he asked, “Where to ma'am?”

I sighed and said as I exhaled, “Please don't call me ma'am.”  I glanced at the card, it was Harold's card with the company name, 'Regency Transport', and a number and email address for Harold on one side and the rates printed on the other side.  All things considered, the rates were below private car prices in London.  So just a kidney instead of two kidneys and your first born.  Then I looked out the window. “The Empire Suites Hotel please Harold.  I'll be needing you for at least two days, if possible until I get settled and retrieve my own vehicle.”

He just nodded. “That will be fine... Victoria.”  Then he was silent all the way to the Empire, he was a consummate professional.  The tiny evil part of me with its pitchfork, horns, and awesome heels thought. “Maybe I can break him of that before I'm done with his services.  I'm sure he has some character beneath the stuffiness.”

After we had parked at the hotel, I passed my Visa card to him and he jotted down the number without a word and passed it back to me then he hopped out and opened the door for me.  A bellhop was already getting my bags out of the trunk and putting them on a brass trolley, Robert, his gold nametag read on his maroon uniform.  As I stood, I absently said, “Your shoe is untied Harold.”

I smirked as he looked down to his tied shoes then I nudged him in the ribs lightly with my elbow as I passed by and whispered, “You need to loosen up a bit.”

I caught the grin that he tried to restrain as he said in a regal tone, “Yes Victoria.”

Which caused me to snort and grin back at the man.  “Much better.  I'll need you in about an hour. I'll call.”

He nodded with a small smile on his face then hopped into the sedan and disappeared into traffic.  I walked into the hotel with the bellhop shadowing me with the cart.  I gave the doorman a smile as he opened the doors for me.  Dyson, his name tag read, I filed that away.

I was curious about the Empire, it had been built the summer after I left Seattle and I have heard nothing but good things about it.  I could have stayed anywhere, even a simple motel but again, I was spoiling myself and I felt guilty about it for some reason.

After checking in and heading up to the room, Robert unloaded the cart and placed my bags in my room.  I smiled at him. “Thanks Robert.  I appreciate the help.”  I shook his hand, cupping it between both of mine, leaving a ten spot in it.

He smiled and said, “You're welcome ma'am.”  Then he added with a smile. “Oh, you're British, I almost missed your accent.”  Before I could correct him, the boy was gone.  Then I smiled at it, wondering how much Brit I had in my speech patterns now.  It can't be much as just about anyone in London can immediately identify me as a Yank.

I took some time to unpack and get settled into the room a bit.  I placed the shadowbox on the nightstand beside the king sized bed.  I kissed my fingers then laid them on Vee, then Mia's pictures.  I spoke to them, “I may as well get chapter four of my life started.”  I divide my life into distinct sections.  There was chapter one, growing up and learning to deal with the curse of my 'gifts.'  Chapter two was my life in college with Valhalla and Mia.  Chapter three was my years in London.  Now it is time to reclaim my life in this newest chapter.

I called down for room service to get a quick meal before I went to the gallery.  Currently, the gallery hours were eleven am to eight pm.  The winter hours.  After a quick pasta bake I called Harold and changed my clothes into one of my professional suits and grabbed a stack of paperwork that I didn't need, but I was trying to project a certain image when I arrived at my new business.  Then I made my way outside.  Harold was already circling the block and was pulled in within seconds of me reaching the sidewalk to wait.

He hopped out and opened the door before I could reach it.  I rolled my eyes playfully at him and this time he did smile.  As soon as we were situated and he was pulling away from the curb he cocked his eyebrow in question.  I took a deep breath and exhaled.  “Just drive me around downtown a bit.  I just need to get reacquainted with... home... then to the Downtown Gallery if you would.”

He nodded once and seemed to be taking stock of me in the mirror for a moment then he seemed to nod to himself once again and turned his attention to the road.  I just absently stared out the window, watching all the familiar buildings go by.  The Space Needle seemed to always be visible with the routes he took, and we went past Pike Place and I cut back a sob as he brought us below the viaduct and I saw that impossible hubcap mural that Mia had done on the side of a brick building, of Vee staring up into the sun.

I closed my eyes to fight off a mini panic attack as my anxiety seemed to choke me.  My eyes snapped open as Harold asked, “How long has it been?”  With his attention on the mirror like he was trying to understand me.  I could see how insightful the man was and he was trying to keep my mind off of whatever was causing me to tense up.

I took a cleansing breath then forced a smile on my face and looked at him through the mirror and almost whispered, “Twenty years.”

He nodded thoughtfully and said, “For how much has changed since then, you'll be surprised at how much it has stayed the same.”

I smiled and nodded once at him in thanks then sat up straighter in the seat and concentrated on enjoying the sites.  I glanced to the west at the Sound, and all the boats going about their business then I swung my eyes to the east and saw those unchanging mountains of the Cascades, covered in snow. I choked back an involuntary sob.  No matter how much of a life I made for myself in London, THIS was, and always would be home for me.  I closed my eyes and composed myself.

Before I knew it, we were parked in front of the gallery and Harold was opening my door for me. He offered his hand and I took it as he helped me out.  He made a circular motion, with his finger pointing down, with a question on his face.  I shook my head. “No, don't bother circling.  This will take a while.  I need to introduce myself to my new employees.  I'll call.”  He nodded once and like a ghost, he hopped into the car and faded away into traffic again.

I straightened my blouse and smoothed my skirt then took out my reading glasses to finish the look I wanted to project to my employees.  A professional.  Probably the exact opposite of my true personality.  But there is value in comporting myself in a specific manner to elicit the desired responses from my staff.  I reviewed the records in my head, of the six people that now work for me, and grinned again at Missy's name.

Then I strode with purpose to the front door and pulled it open like I owned the place.  Oh, I'd so make an awesome badass!  Then I chuckled at myself, whispering, “You do own the place Vickster, duh.”

I walked right past the greeter, Tracy, who looked a little different than she had in the short video conference  a few weeks back.  Must be the new pageboy hairstyle.  It's cute.  I grinned to myself as she started catching up to me, I stopped and turned back suddenly and she almost ran into me.  She opened her mouth to attempt to say something, but I cut her off.  “Those event fliers at the case by the door need to be looked after.  Two of those events are over, we don't need to look inefficient here, and the handbills on the table below it are a mess, they need to be straightened up.”

She glanced over at the glass case hanging on the wall by the door then back at me and opened her mouth again.  Gawd I'm evil... I tried hard not to chuckle at the look on her face as I cut her off again, “I need to see Missy right away Tracy,”  as I marched purposefully to the arching stairway to the second floor where I knew the two offices were.  One for the owner and one for the curator.  The exhibits I passed were amazing, a few belonged in museums to be shared with everyone, not hidden away by private collectors.

Tracy was still walking quickly behind me.  “I'm sorry ma'am, but who are you?”  I stopped mid-step on the stairs with one hand resting on the carved walnut railing and turned back.  She almost bumped into me again.  Then I stared at her and just arched an eyebrow expectantly.

I fought off the smile when I saw recognition and realization dawning in her eyes. She took a step back down the stairs as she blurted out quickly, “Miss Davenport!  I'm, I mean... yes ma'am.  I'm sorry.  Right away.”

I couldn't do it anymore and I broke out into a huge smile.  “It's fine Tracy.  I'll be in my office.”  This seemed to relax her and she returned my smile and hurried past me and went to the left.  I turned to the right and walked along the balcony looking at the paintings on consignment from various artists that hung along it.  I stutter stepped at one and had to turn to look at it.  Wow.  I mean just... wow.

I took in the canvas.  Whose was this?  It had to be a new piece since I had no recollection of it in my inventory.  There was a single thick swoop of black tar-like paint that gracefully swayed down the canvas.  It was punctuated by unexpected bursts of blue and yellow down its length, causing a playful turbulence.  I don't know why but this simplistic painting evoked a feeling of joy in me, it looked like a stream would feel with water rushing around rocks along the way.

I looked at the sheet on the wall next to it and grinned.  It was titled Babbling Brook so I wasn't far off.  I didn't recognize the name, Robin Hartford.  The artist bio on the sheet shared that she was a student at the New York Academy of Art.  I had to smile since that was where my goddaughter Abbey was attending, it would be her senior year this year.

I nodded once at the piece.  It had a modest price of thirty-one hundred on it.  I shook my head, this young artist was going to go far.  I could tell and this was a steal of a price to get something this early in her career.  Maybe I'll buy this one for myself as an investment in the future.  Besides, it is so pretty and fun!

I got to the door of my office.  It had one-way glass so I could look out over the gallery when I was here.  The mirrored surface gave more depth to the gallery, giving the illusion it was bigger than it was. I grinned at the plaque on the door.  It read, “Victoria A. Davenport Ph.D. – Owner”  I shook my head, I wanted the honorific off of the plaque, but gold star for Missy for already having things prepared for me here.  I cringed at the Ph.D., I just kept taking classes until I added a doctorate in Arts and Humanities, it was an accident... honest.

I placed my hand tentatively on the door lever.  Taking in the cool feel of the brass beneath my hand, the handle had substance.  It was solid brass and not just a cheap, plated brass lever.  I ran my fingers along it then grasped it and opened the door.  It was a pretty office.  Dark hardwood floors with a large Arabian rug with rich burgundies and golds beneath the seating area by the desk.  There were three plush gold chairs in a half circle around a low glass table that had some tulips in a glass vase and a capped carafe of water with three glasses on a simple brass serving tray in the middle of the table.

In front of the chairs was a pretty carved walnut desk.  The two side walls contained floor to ceiling bookshelves with brass adornments that looked like little flowers and a brass rail at the top that had library ladders connected to each.  There were multiple sculptures and art books filling the shelves.

The wall behind the desk was dominated by huge floor to ceiling glass sheet windows that had a view of the bustling streets of downtown Seattle.  I knew from the outside that there were mirrored, one-way glass too.  There were heavy burgundy drapes on either side that could be pulled to block out the light.  The opposite wall was a matching wall of glass that gave me a great view of the gallery below, it had similar drapes if I ever needed the illusion of privacy.

I flopped down in the puffy black leather chair behind the desk.  I almost sank in.  Gawd it was comfortable.  I scanned the office and smiled.  It was pretty ostentatious, but I think I liked it.  I wouldn't be changing much.  I wouldn't be spending too much time here anyway, I didn't want to step on Missy's toes, I know how overbearing some owners can be which just gets in the way of the curator doing their job.

I placed my glasses on the desk and closed my eyes and leaned back into a comfortable chair, which was a bad move.  I had nodded off and my eyes snapped open at the knocking at the door.  I straightened my jacket and grabbed my reading glasses and shoved them on hastily with both hands.  I sat up straight and called out calmly,  “Come in.”

I almost snorted at the middle-aged blonde woman who walked in.  She was tall and almost regal looking with the stands of silver peppering her long hair.  Her immaculate business suit and skirt were sharply pressed and I could see her flawless manicure and understated makeup from where I stood.  Her overall appearance was severely professional, like she had taken lessons for stick up the ass dressing and comportment from la Ice Queen herself.

I noted the delicate wedding band on her finger and grinned at the fact that she had finally let someone in, to see the woman behind the bitchy armor.  Knowing her, the guy was a stone cold hunk, if her dating habits from college were any indication.

The two things that showed her individuality were the sneakers she wore on her feet in counterpoint to the outfit, and the signature Missy smirk on her face as she greeted me. “Glad to see you made it twerp.”

I stood and smoothed down my skirt and stepped around the desk to give her a hug.  “Just thought I'd make a surprise visit a day early to take a peek at the place wench.”

We took a step apart and appraised each other.  She grinned and said, “Lippy as ever I see.”  She shot me a tiny wink then her features softened. “But really.  It is so good to see you Vicky.  It really has been too long.”

I nodded in agreement as my smile slipped a little.  “Yes... entirely too long.”  I felt a little ashamed of my cowardice.  Then I brightened.  “Anyway, take me on the tour of my place? Then we can discuss business strategy.”  I gave her a toothy grin that she returned and motioned both hands palm up toward the door.

As we walked out I remembered something.  “Oh, can you pull the canvas by Robin Hartford for me and charge my account?  That girl is going to be going places.”

Missy arched an eyebrow and nodded once in approval.  “I thought so too.  That's why I took the consignment last week.”

I nodded and said thoughtfully, “See if you can't get another work or two of hers.  Let's see how they do down on the main floor.”

Missy was blinking at me comically with huge eyes.  Oh...  “Sorry, didn't mean to do the curate-y thing.  Old habits and all.  I'll try not to step on your toes too terribly often.”  This got her to grin and wiggle her head like a bobble-head.

Yes, I can see us working together just fine.  She tilted her head before we restarted the tour and she mentioned, “You caught a bit of the accent over there.  You were too cute already.  It just isn't fair to us normal girls.”  I just giggled and pushed her forward down the corridor playfully.

There really wasn't much more to see.  Her office was a mirror of mine except she didn't have any windows behind her desk, most likely because nobody wants a view into an alley.  And besides the restrooms on each floor, and a little break room between the upstairs ones, there was just one other area.  The staging and delivery bay.  It was just a huge cavernous room with a gigantic roll up door for trucks and deliveries to drive right in.  There were racks and dollies everywhere.

There was a little office beside the door into the galley proper.  It was all glass and there was a desk inside with two workers looking at some clipboards.  I knew them as our prep man, Jackson, and our shipping clerk Adam.  I noticed Missy's professional demeanor when we weren't alone, with approval.

Introductions were made and then we concluded the tour in her office.  We sat in the wingback chairs she had by a maple wood coffee table in front of her desk.  We sipped on water as she said,  “That's about it.  What do you think?”

I smiled wistfully.  “Truthfully?  I think it is perfect.”

She squinted an eye. “I never would have thought it.”

I screwed up my face.  “What?”

She chuckled. “Little Vicky is all grown up.  You put on that professional demeanor around the other employees like it is well practiced.  Shit... are you maturing, woman?”

I squished up my face and crinkled my nose.  “Hey.  I'm still little.  But yes, I do what is necessary to make sure all of my ventures are successful.”

Then she said as she slightly squinted her eyes, like she was gauging my reaction, “Mia's exhibit opens in two days.  As usual she won't deliver until the day of.”

I realized I had stopped breathing and forced myself to breath normally.  9-5-0-2-8.  Gary L. Brandt, Mellissa B. Carpenter, Xii Chan Li.  A group of owls is called a parliament. I stopped myself from creating the white noise and pulled my glasses off, and absently chewed on one of the ends of a earpiece then spoke, “I can't wait that long.  I'm tired of running.  Can you get her in here tomorrow night?  Just tell her the gallery owner needs to speak with her.”  She regarded me for a long moment and just nodded once.

We talked shop for a while then things wound down.  She really had an eye for art and her business sense was pretty spot on itself.  It was a shame that the previous owners didn't use that as a resource, then maybe they wouldn't have had to sell.

The one major thing I brought up was the straight out purchase of a lot of mid-range art.  If we could get it at wholesale prices direct from the artists, we'd triple the money we got from consignment commissions.  I shocked the hell out of her when I okay-ed a three million dollar slush fund for direct purchases for the first year.  I had no use for the money and it really wouldn't put a strain on my personal finances.  I was committed to making this work, there is no way in hell I would let the gallery fail.  This seemed to gain more approval from her by the way she inclined her head with a slight grin.

Then we stood and I grasped her hand between mine and squeezed once.  “It's good to be home.  I'll see you tomorrow Missy.”

She nodded again, still studying me as I left.  I made my way to my office to pick up my purse as I dialed Harold to inform him to meet me up front.  I'll have to face my fears and see my parents in the next couple days and pick up my Range Rover.  Knowing dad, he has kept it well maintained just waiting for me to return after all these years.  I'll start with Mia before I ask their forgiveness.  One terrifying thing at a time.

Chapter 5 – Mia

I didn't sleep well that night, I kept waking up in a cold sweat.  I finally allowed myself to think about all the happy times I had with Vee and Mia after Abbey was born.  Gawd we were a tight knit crew.  I've never had that much fun ever since, even with Candi.  Things just meshed seamlessly back then, our only worry in the world was Valhalla's health.  I felt like a third mother to Abbey, and that is how the girls treated me too.

I had thought that Mia's OCD and her mild germ phobia that accompanied it were going to be a detriment when it came to taking care of Abbey.  I mean, with the dirty diapers, spit-up and such.  But she just took it all in stride.  I gotta tell you that there was no more organized baby changing station anywhere on the planet, everything was always lined up perfectly. She was like super-mom.

These thoughts cut through my anxiety and lulled me into a pleasant sleep.  It was a rare treat that I allowed myself to think of the girls.

I woke up the next morning and distracted myself most of the day.  It was Christmas eve.  I grinned at the thought, I hadn't bought gifts for Mia and Abbey this year.  I figured that Abbey would be home for the holidays.  All my time and effort the past month and a half were put into buying the gallery, closing all my business accounts, and prepping for the move back home.  So I rang up Harold and said, “Hi Harold, it's Victoria.  If you aren't with your family today, I'd like to go out to get some Christmas shopping done today.”  He was quick to say he'd be right here.

No matter where we went, I wasn't able to find anything appropriate for Mia.  I mean, it had to be perfect.  It had to have meaning to it beyond just a simple trinket.  It had to... oh, sorry... the story.  So I started looking for something for Abbey.  At an artisan fair, I found an ancient hope chest.  I blinked at the worn and pitted wood, cast iron fittings and leather straps that doubled as hinges for the lid.  The cast iron key and lock were perfect, the head of the key was wrought into a heart shape.  Inside was a scarlet quilted, cushioned interior.  The whole thing just had a certain feel of reverence to it.

I snagged it.  I had something to put in it.  One of my most-treasured belongings.  I smiled warmly at the thought.

Then I thought about Mia again.  What could I possibly get for her that would be something that touched her in a way I could share the wonder that sparkled in her green eyes?  I thought back to that one perfect Christmas and replayed it all, then I had it.  There was one thing that I noticed that caught her eye and made her smile.  Then I excitedly ran off to a craft store to get what I needed.

I picked up a few Christmas cards along the way, there were more people I needed to think about, and now a few I was responsible for as well.  I filled out one card right away and slipped a hundred dollars in an envelope then handed it to Harold when he dropped me back off at the hotel room.  “Merry Christmas Harold.  I won't be needing your services anymore.  It was a pleasure to know you, now shoo spend time with your family.”  He nodded and replied, “It has been a true pleasure Victoria.  Merry Christmas.”

After I had got to my room, I spent some time filling out cards and stuffing cash in some and writing checks to place in others.  I had cards with cash sent down for Robert and Dyson.

Then I went to the one suitcase that was still packed and almost hyperventilated as I took one of the two books wrapped in velvet cloth and laid it in the hope chest.  Then went about wrapping it. I wound up sitting against the wall with my legs pulled up to my chest and rocking for a bit after that.  I couldn't get the voices to stop screaming in my head no matter how much white noise I created.  So I just soldiered through it and went to work on Abbey's gift.

I finished a while later and grinned at the result.  It was awful, I wish that with all my abilities I had at least a little artistic talent.  I giggled at the gift then wrapped it and went to take a long hot shower to get ready for the night and to wash all the glue and glitter off of me.

It wasn't until almost eight, when I was dressed, I went with a professional black dress and got ready for the night when I realized I hadn't eaten all day.  No time for that now.  I had to be at the gallery just before closing at eight, so I could catch all my employees.  I could eat later if I actually survived this night.

I grabbed most of the remaining Christmas cards and stepped out to hail a cab.  Minutes later I was standing in the gallery.  I smiled warmly knowing it was mine.  I was already getting quite fond of the notion.  I had never really owned a business before.  Sure I consulted with plenty of businesses but that isn't the same as having a physical building with employees and something you share with your customers and the public.

Tracy's eyes went wide when I walked in.  She was on her cell as I walked past with a smile on my face.  I saw Missy answer her phone on the other side of the gallery and say something.  Tracy locked the front door and disappeared into the back room.  Missy shot me a smile and finished up with the last patron and led them out of the gallery, giving them a card and a cut sheet on the art they were considering.  I was impressed with the depth of knowledge she had with the work as I eavesdropped.

I watched as my employees popped out of the back room one at a time and headed upstairs while Missy joined me at my side, motioning up the stairs with her eyes.  “Hey brat, I told them that you wanted to speak with them before they left tonight.”

I nodded in appreciation as we walked up the stairs together in silence.  I straightened my dress and slipped on my reading glasses, which got a snort from Missy and a roll of her eyes.  I had to stop a snort of my own as her professional face snapped up and she straightened her blouse.  We strode in like we meant business.

All eyes were on us.  Eve and Janice were here too, good, all six employees.  I stopped myself from smiling over at the red headed Eve Rand knowing, the young woman was Mandy Fay Harris' niece.  I have actually met Mandy before and holy crap does she have a presence.

Missy started.  “Ok, listen up everyone.  As you know the gallery hasn't done well the past few years, and with a downswing of the economy things were looking even bleaker.  That's why Carl and Vanessa had to sell.  I know we were all worried about our jobs and what changes the new owner would make.  I think we were all a little surprised to still be here.  But we can't sit on our collective butts and just hope things will get better.  We need to work our asses off and implement the pro-active changes that Miss Davenport and I will be laying out over the next few weeks.  We will be giving one hundred percent and will expect the same from all of you.  With that, I hand you over to Miss Davenport.”

I nodded once in thanks to her and handed her the envelopes.  One with each employee's names on it.  She looked at them then to me with a questioning look.  I said nothing and she handed them out. Then I spoke, “I know you all want to get to your families here on Christmas Eve, so I'll make this short.”

I looked around and everyone was staring at me in rapt attention.  “Everything Mrs. Hannigan just shared with you is true.  And the gallery is hurting right now but I believe we can all turn things around and make the Downtown Seattle Gallery the gem of the city again.  With this in mind, as an incentive to you all, each year I will be giving bonuses based on the overall success of the gallery.  The better we do, the better you are rewarded at the end of the year.”

I looked at each person, making eye contact, then continued, “With that in mind, I have given each of you a starting Christmas bonus of ten percent of your yearly salary.  I want to grow us into a single-minded team, a family if you will.  The success of the gallery contributes to your own personal success and professional growth.”  Eyes were wide as they glanced down at the envelopes then back at me.

I took a deep breath.  “But that cuts both ways, if the gallery is not profitable in any year, bonuses will not be awarded.  I believe that with the team we have and the new directions the gallery will be moving that we will have nothing but success and I look forward to working with you all.  Now shoo, get out of here and have a Merry Christmas.  For those of you working the special Christmas showing tomorrow, I'll see you then.”

There was a little clapping as each person shook my hand as they left.  Leaving Missy and I standing alone in the room.  She cocked an eyebrow then looked at her envelope.  “This was unexpected.”

I shrugged and smiled.  “I know, but I need to ignite a spark as well as let each employee know I truly appreciate them.  Besides wench... it's Christmas.”

She smirked. “I'd pummel you for the wench comment if you weren't so damn tiny and cute.”

I winked. “That's one of my super powers.”

She snorted then looked at her cell and typed something in and then looked back up at me.  She took a deep breath and said, “She'll be here in fifteen minutes.”

I took a deep breath of my own and nodded once. “Ok, I'll be down in the gallery by her exhibit area.”

She stopped me from walking out with a light touch on my shoulder and she didn't look at me, she just stared straight ahead and said quietly, “If you hurt her...”

I just placed a hand on hers and squeezed gently and nodded, then walked out to make my way down into the gallery proper.  She followed and disappeared into the back room.  I spent the next fifteen minutes trying hard not to hyperventilate.

I stood looking at the little Plexiglas shelves that would hold the canvases Mia was bringing.  I smiled in memory of her first works back in college.  Her unique gift of sharing her memories in just about any medium.  There was a structure to it most people couldn't see.  It was an extraordinary ability of hers to calculate viewing angles and distances and distill it down to the canvas or sculpture she was working on, with an almost machine level precision.  The remote viewing phenomenon that snapped a seemingly random work into sharp focus at a specific distance from the art.  The art world quickly coined it, the Jacobs Effect.

I was lost in the memories and almost jumped at the sound of the voice that I hear in my dreams speaking from behind me.  Her voice was a slightly lower register as happens over time, but it still set off the tuning fork in my soul as my breathing quickened and I fought down the panic and the urge to run away.  The angel's voice said, “T-the curator s-said you'd like t-to speak with me.”

I closed my eyes to fight off tears and I said a silent prayer, trying to calm and steel myself.  I couldn't stop the enormous smile on my face as I turned to face the woman my heart ached for.  “Is that all you have to say to me Mia?”

All I saw on Mia's face and in her eyes was joy.  My heart started beating again.  God, I thought for sure that...  I shook the thought away as we both squealed and wrapped our arms around each other in a tight and desperate embrace.  My entire being never wanting to let go... it felt so right.  My shame doubled, how could I ever justify running like a coward?

Mia said with a voice filled with excitement, “I can't believe you are here!”

I squeezed my eyes closed, I was feeling something... something I haven't truly felt in ages.  Was... was this happiness?  I opened my eyes and took in the two people standing behind her.  I swear to you I was not prepared.  If my heart were just a tiny bit weaker, that would have been the end of me, it would have given out at that moment as I pushed Mia away and took two shocked steps backward, covering my mouth.

This isn't possible!  I've finally lost it, I've gone mad!  Vee?  But then my panic and shock bled away as I saw some subtle differences in the looks of the young woman who had a short blonde girl standing next to her.  Thank the lord... I won't have to go back to the funny farm again.

I locked eyes with Mia again and tilted my head toward the young lady in question, searching Mia's eyes as I asked, “Abbey?”

The imp just grinned and nodding with pride.  My heart skipped a beat at the slight smile on her face as I dropped my hand from my mouth.  I just shook my head as I glanced back at my goddaughter, shaking my head as I whispered,  “I thought I saw a ghost.”

Mia grabbed both of my hands, interlacing our fingers as she pulled me to the girls.  I couldn't have torn my eyes from Mia's if I had tried.  God, she looked wonderful.  The years have done nothing to dull her beauty.  The tiny things I could see just made her that much more amazing and mature.  Like the tiny wrinkles and laugh lines you can only get from smiling so much.  She was happy...

I glanced up and down, taking her in.  I choked back a tear when I saw her wearing Vee's combat boots but couldn't stop a smile when I saw the ears of Little Vee, a tiny white teddy bear, poking out of her pocket.  Just as I always knew, Mia would always love that wonderful woman and she was always in her thoughts.  This made me both happy and sad.  I knew that there could never be another she could ever come to love like she did her Valhalla.  It was just how Mia's brain worked.  She was her once in a lifetime lightning strike.

We both realized that we were just staring at each other and shared a little blush  Mia looked at the ground bashfully then looked back up and said,  “Victoria, let me introduce to you, your goddaughter Abbey and her beautiful fiancee Samantha.”  The girls looked truly shocked when Mia said my name.

I couldn't stop myself!  It was my goddaughter!  The baby I never stopped loving, I grabbed her in a tight side to side hug, then gave the same to Sammie.  Good lord Skylar's daughter was gorgeous!

I felt I needed to be grounded again or I would float away, and I found myself grabbing Mia's hands again.

Then she tilted her head cutely and glanced around expectantly as she asked, “Where's your bride?”

I felt nervous and found myself stroking the sides of Mia's hands with my thumbs, there was so much heat traveling through me at our touch.  I shrugged, “Who knows?  She divorced me two years back bilked me for millions in the settlement.  Said I was too hyper for her, and age wasn't mellowing and 'maturing' me enough for her tastes.  I personally think it's because her personal assistant knocked her up.  Tomato, tomato...  But I so make an awesome divorcee!”  I struck a pose with false bravado.  Because even though I knew we were never right for each other, I still did love Beatrice, and it still did hurt that she cheated on me and divorced me.

I couldn't stop myself from babbling, I felt like I had to explain to this marvelous creature.  I opened my mouth and the words came rushing out. “I got bored over the pond.  Running large businesses on your own is like, so lame.  When I heard a few months back that the prior owner of this gallery was selling, I jumped at the chance to come home again.  I've always had a soft spot for the arts, and I figured I'd make a friggin' amazing gallery owner, so I bought it.  I arrived here last night and am livin' outta a hotel till I get settled.  Now I'm here for good.  I heard you were turning down galleries left and right, but approved mine and...”

Then in a familiar manner that felt like she had just done it yesterday, Mia smiled as she interrupted me, “Slow down Vickster!  Breathe!”  I was going to shoot a silly look the two young ladies who were just giggling at our exchange, but I stopped breathing and my heart stopped beating when I realized Mia was also stroking the sides of my hands with her thumbs as well.  Gawd, it was hot in there.  Ummm... something about breathing being good... how does that work?

She snapped me out of it when she spoke again, “Well, welcome home!  You simply must come stay at the house tonight so we can chat!  We can get your stuff out of that stuffy hotel tomorrow.  You are staying with us until you get situated!”

I was about to protest when her eyes captured mine.  There was no escaping the hold they had on me.  I bit my lower lip at her spectacular swirling eyes and she mirrored me.  Shit, I melted.

I said in a hoarse voice, “Definitely!  I've missed you so much!”

Was that relief on her face?  She replied, “Great!  So we'll see you at home soon!”  Then my breath hitched when she leaned in to kiss me on the cheek, but she stopped and pulled slightly back and our eyes met each others again.  I could hear my own pulse pounding in my ears and I was getting a little light headed.  Why was she just hovering there?  Didn't she know what she was doing to me? I glanced down at her lips longingly, the prize that could never be mine.

I caught myself leaning forward and stopped myself.  Good god Vicky what the hell is wrong with you?  If she ever did that, Mia would feel as if she had betrayed Vee and you would too!  You know that!

Then something that has never happened to me in my entire life occurred.  I stopped thinking entirely, all the voices were gone as white hot fire rushed through me when Mia closed the gap and our lips came together in a passionate kiss.  I lived in that moment, all I knew was her... then the panic returned and I broke the kiss.  All the noise in my head returned with a vengeance, like a rubber band being snapped.  Oh god, oh god, what did I do?  How could I be so stupid? I knew she would feel guilty over this and dwell on it.

I said breathlessly, “I'm... I'm sorry.  I don't know what got into me.”

She looked at me a little dreamily and tilted her head cutely, then she blushed and looked down and away.  “D-d-don't be s-sorry, I'm the one who kissed you.  I'm... Vicky... I'm... n-not sorry.”

She left me there stunned as she dragged the girls away calling back to me over her shoulder as she made her escape.  “See you in a bit?”

I couldn't form any words so I just nodded.  Like she can see you nodding Vicky you idiot!  So I gave a tiny wave.  Shit, I can't think.  I caught myself murmuring, “Ok.”  There, take that universe  I can still speak!  I touched my lips, the memory of hers on mine was seared deep into my eidetic memory.

I retrieved my stuff from my office and made my way to the front door and paused when I saw Missy still there, standing by the door.  She unlocked it for me then said quietly as I walked out, “Don't fuck this up boss.”  I nodded at her as she locked the door and walked away.

It was late, I was still starving but I wasn't going to give Mia any reason to believe I would run again.  I needed to get over there.  I hailed a cab and had him wait at the hotel while I gathered a few things and stuffed them in my carry-on bag.  I grabbed the presents and rushed back down to the waiting cab.

Moments later we were heading to the house... where I had lived with Vee and Mia.  The house where Vee grew up and the girls made a family.  The house where Vee's ashes were sprinkled in the lake.  The house my goddaughter had grown into the woman she now was.

The driver snapped me out of my head.  “Ma'am?”  I blinked and looked at him.  He looked almost apologetic.  “I said we're here.”

Oh!  I looked out the window to the place that was more home to me than the house I grew up in and fought my own watering eyes and forced a smile on my face.  “Thank you.”  I got out and gathered my things.  I paid the man and gave him a generous tip.

I walked up to the door and had to smile as I put my packages down.  The old, bordering on ancient now, electronic lock was still there and looking to be in good repair.  I experimentally typed in Vee's code and the indicator light turned green.  I had to smile at that.  Mia would never remove that code.  It was how she was, how her brain worked.  She may not have an eidetic memory like me, but her obsessive compulsive behavior would keep every moment with Vee alive in her head forever.

A few seconds later the indicator turned red again and the back-light on the number-pad turned off.  I stood taller and took three quick, deep breaths and raised one hand tentatively and let it hover a moment before I steeled my resolve and knocked lightly on the door.

Chapter 6 – Catching Up

It felt almost surreal to me as I sat beside Mia on the same couch as all those years ago.  It was like a snapshot of the past.  Sure it had been re-upholstered since then but it was the same.  Everything was the same, like it was frozen in time.  The only differences were the additions marking Abbey's presence in her life over the years.  Like the photos along one wall that basically showed her growing up.

My heart broke a little, knowing that there was more truth to my 'frozen in time' analogy than I cared to admit.  Again, that is just how Mia's brain worked.  She lived in those memories and the pain.  But Abbey was able to break through that, the evidence was subtle but it was everywhere around me.  Mia lived for Abbey now, not herself.

I glanced over at Abbey on the love seat with Sammie.  Good god, you could almost feel the love for each other those two were radiating.  I smiled at Abbey, she had turned into a spectacular woman.  I understood Mia's pride and love and knew how the child had cracked her obsessive compulsive armor to make herself an irreplaceable part of her life.

I blinked when I realized everyone had stopped talking and were looking at me.  I quickly rewound the conversation in my mind and played it back to see what I missed.  Oh!  I smiled at Mia.  “No, I haven't had anything to eat all day.  A snack would be nice.  Oh, but first... I know Christmas isn't for a couple more hours but here.”

I snagged the large wrapped package and handed it to Abbey and then gave the small box to Mia.  I looked at Sammie apologetically.  “Sorry, I didn't realize you would be here tonight Samantha.”  The blonde girl just scrunched up her nose cutely at me and waved me off.

Mia gave me a “you shouldn't have” look.  Then I clasped my hands together and pressed them to my lips and looked at the women.  Was it wrong that I was still obsessing over the kiss earlier tonight? It was quite possibly the most perfect moment of my life.

I had to look back and forth between the two of them as they both slowly and carefully unwrapped the gifts, removing the tape meticulously.  Oh god, did Abbey have OCD too?  That must hurt Mia... I paused and noticed the way Abbey mirrored her mom.  No, she wasn't precise enough.  Then I smiled in realization.  She was accommodating her mother so she wouldn't feel anxiety if she just sloppily tore the wrapping paper from the gift.  She was considerate of her mother's condition.  I felt a little more pride for the young woman.

Abbey's eyes went wide at the old hope chest.  She ran one hand across the lid but then forced her attention away from it and first folded the wrapping paper neatly and placed it on the coffee table and I saw her looking side to side to make sure it was lined up evenly with the edge of the table like Mia would do.  She gave a fond smile to her mother who wasn't looking and currently folding her wrapping paper at the time.

Abbey shot me a little wink when she saw that I caught her.  I couldn't stop the grin.  Then Abbey and Sammie went about examining the hope chest.  It thunked when they tipped it up on end to examine the bottom.  They stopped and set up back upright and Abbey used the cast iron heart key to unlock it.  She looked inside at the book wrapped in red satin.  Mia was leaning forward in interest  her eyes snapped wide open in shock at the leather bound book that was revealed as Abbey unwrapped the fabric.

Abbey looked between Mia and me and said to her mom almost in question, “This is like the books that mother wrote in mom.”

I said in a trembling voice.  “It IS one of your mother's books.  She wrote two volumes for me before she...  passed away.  They are poems nobody else has ever seen.”  I smiled wistfully; the two books were my treasure, a gift from Vee.  The art world fought for every scrap of prose that woman had ever written.  The emotion and pain and love she could convey in simple words was unmatched.  These unreleased works had incalculable value but were worth more to me than even that.  They were a piece of my heart, and I wanted to share one of them with my goddaughter.

My voice was a little husky as I said, “I just thought I'd share with you a piece of your mother. Merry Christmas Abbey.”

She was turning the handwritten pages slowly with reverence.  Silent tears flowing unchallenged down her cheeks as she ran her fingers lightly down the words.  She closed the book and sprang up and pulled me up off the couch into a tight hug.  She whispered, “Thank you so much Vicky.  I... I don't know what to say.”

I gave her a squeeze.  God she felt like my own child...  “It was all I could think of.” I shrugged as I fought off a tear of my own and she went back to sit beside her fiance.  A warm hand in mine was pulling me back down beside Mia.

I shot her an embarrassed smile and the look she was giving me was one of amazement, and something else I couldn't place.  Sammie's voice, with its rich British accent, made us both look up. “What did you get Mia?”

I held my breath as the black haired vixen cutely held the little white box up to her ear and shook it a little like a curious and playful child.  I couldn't help but grin at her antics.  She grinned excitedly back and opened the lid and just as quickly shut it again and hugged it to her chest lovingly with a smile of amazement on her face.

I shrugged and her eyes watered up.  Abbey was about to ask what it was when Mia shot up out of the couch and motored on over to the huge Christmas tree between the seating area and the kitchen area.  She reached into the little box and pulled out the gift and hung it on the tree in a gap in the decorations.  I had to blink a couple times and pulled up the memory of that one Christmas she and Vee had spent at my parents with me back in college.  The tree duplicated the one from back then, down to the ornament and light placements.

The Popsicle stick snowflake covered in glitter that I just gifted her, with a current picture of me glued in the center was just like the one mom has that I made when I was five.  It now sat in the gap where the other one sat back then.  Mia looked back at us with a smile as the girls stood to go look at my terrible artistic ability.

Mia just held one hand out toward me, opening and closing her hand expectantly.  I tentatively approached and took her hand and she clasped our fingers and pulled me to her side and laid her head on my shoulder as she looked at the silly ornament.  She whispered, “It's perfect Vicky.”

The girls looked at it with confused expressions and half grins.  I shrugged. “I know it isn't much, but it is all I could think of.  I remember how you smiled every time you looked at it at mom and dad's that year.  I just wanted you to smile again.”

The girl's smiles bloomed larger and Sammie hugged Abbey's arm and laid her head on her shoulder.  I grinned at that and noted again that Abbey was as tall as Vee had been.  Mia said, “It was always my favorite.  I swear I was jealous of your mother for having that, I have always wanted to pilfer it.”  Then she added as she locked eyes with me, “Thank you so much Vickster.”

Then she took a deep breath and stood taller as I was getting lost in her eyes and said, “Let's get you fed then I want to know EVERYTHING.”  It looked like it took a force of will for her to tear her eyes from mine.  I was breathing faster.  Oh god.  5-3-4-2-1-1-7-0-6  Mildred R. Cumberland, Jose E. Rodriquez, Aturo V. Valencia.  Frogs can't swallow without blinking.

The girls smiled and ambushed me, pulling me back to the couch while Mia went into the kitchen. Abbey and Samantha sat on either side of me.  Abbey said in a voice so much like her mother's, “So... tell me about my godmother.  I want to know it all.”

I started answering every question she had.  Mia returned and I snorted when she handed me a breakfast burrito.  She grinned and bobbleheaded at our inside joke while the girls looked on in confusion.  I had to fight off a smile when Mia just had to reach out and nudge my napkin around on the coffee table with a finger until it was lined up perfectly with the edge.

She joined in the question answer session but stopped when Abbey asked how excited my parents were when I came back home.  I said simply, “They don't know yet.  I had to face Mia first.”

She had a confused look on her face. “You didn't tell them?  What do you mean face me?”

I took a deep breath.  My damn mouth had a mind of its own.  I sighed in resignation, saying softly, extremely self-conscious of the young women present.  “I needed to see if you could forgive me for running before I faced them.”

She cocked her head to the side and squinted a little. “Running?”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and exhaled and said at a million miles an hour, “I left you.  I left you and Vee...” I opened my eyes and glanced at my goddaughter. “and Abbey.  I was a coward.  I couldn't... couldn't watch her die.  I.. I... I...”

I was tearing up and my voice was failing.  Mia was looking down, her eyes heavy, her body rigid, and her face unreadable as she laid a finger on my lips but not making eye contact.  “Vickster, slow down, breathe.  We can talk about this later.  You look beyond exhausted.  Let's all get a good night's sleep.”

Everyone was silent as Mia took a deep breath and forced a smile on her face as she looked back up to me.  Then she said almost forcefully as she locked eyes with me, “But before that, you WILL call your parents and let them know you are home for good.  They deserve that woman.  Tell them we will drop by tomorrow, after the Christmas showing at the gallery.”  This was new, she was always strong but shy to a fault, I have never heard her so assertive before and I... I liked it.  Maybe she has changed more than I had thought.

She was suddenly twice as intriguing to me.  I lowered my eyes so that I wouldn't get lost in her eyes again.  I said like a child who had just got caught doing something they knew they weren't supposed to, “Yes Mia.”

I helped clean up my dishes and properly and neatly dispose of the wrapping paper and little white box.  I made a call to my squealing mom and almost stoic father.  He made me promise twice that we would be over as soon as we could.  That I shouldn't disappoint my mother.  I felt like shit that he thought that was necessary, but I understood.

The girls hugged and kissed my cheek and retired to Abbey's room.  I grinned a little at the fact that Mia was letting them sleep together while they were here.  I know they are adults, but still... I thought it was cute.

Then I think I made an “Ack!” sound as I was pulled bodily by the hand, down the hall, to the guest room that had been my room when I lived here all those years ago.

Mia pulled me over to the bed and turned on a little light on the nightstand.  We climbed onto the bed and sat cross-legged across from each other like so many times before.  She grabbed both of my hands and kept moving her head to catch my eyes as I avoided her until she captured my gaze with hers.  Then she whispered, “Explain.”

I poured out my guilt and admitted to everything except my love for her and Vee.  She just sat and listened intently like I was the only other person in the world.  Whenever I could tear my eyes from hers, I took in the guest room.  It was untouched.  Down to the tiniest detail it was exactly how I had left it the day I left for London, abandoning the girls.  Mia had kept it this way for twenty years, frozen in time?

When I was done. Mia looked to be contemplating a great many things.  Then she did what I had last expected.  She just pulled me to the head of the bed and we sat with our backs to the headboard. She laid her head on my shoulder and whispered, “Tell me about London.”

She just listened to me talk until we both faded off into a peaceful sleep.

Chapter 7 – Vicky

I woke up with a warmth beside me.  I looked down to see my hand still clasped in Vicky's.  Good god, this was real, it wasn't a dream.  Vicky had finally come home!  I just looked at her in amazement, my eyes threatening tears.  Damn, the years have been kind to her too.  She had matured well.

I thought of everything that had happened last night, fixating on the kiss.  My god, was it possible the feelings I had felt?  I thought about her revelation that she had accepted the Oxford scholarship to remove herself from the very real situation here at home.  I had always suspected.  But to be completely honest with myself, I never blamed her.  Losing Valla was the hardest thing I ever had to bear.

Vicky, for how strong and confident she wants people to think she is, is extremely emotionally fragile.  I really do think it would have broken her beyond repair if she had stayed to watch Valla fade. She never quite said, but I believe the burden of her gifts almost broke her when she was younger.  I think her parents had her institutionalized, what with the subtle hints, unspoken words, and the pain in her mother's eyes when they speak of her youth.  But she had come out of it okay and become one of the most-spectacular women I have ever known.

No, I didn't blame her at all, I'd never want her to break.  I don't think she could come back from it again.  I almost didn't.  If it weren't for Abbey, I wouldn't have.

I looked down at my long lost friend, gawd she was gorgeous.  I've never been attracted to anyone since Valla, but... Vicky is just...

Her lips quirked in a tiny smile, her eyes were still closed as she said, “You're staring at me Mia.”

I nodded and she snuggled into my side.  This just brought a grin to my face.  Crap, I keep replaying that god damn kiss in my head.  Did... did she feel something too?  Or did we just get lost in the moment and excitement of being reunited?  I caught myself staring at her lips.  She said, “Still staring at me.”

I snorted and took a deep breath as I extricated myself from her.  “Sorry, I just still can't believe you are here.  You picked up a tiny bit of the accent Vickster.  I can tell you exactly how many days it has...”

She shook her head and interrupted, “Please don't, I know... I'm here now.”  I nodded.  I was always counting, it was just how I worked.  Seven thousand five hundred and four days I have been without my best friend in the world.  As much as that hurt, it paled compared to the joy of having her back.

And when did she become so... so sexy?  I mean the hyper blondie was always pretty, but she's... with those glasses... damn.

I found this line of thinking odd because in my entire life I have never been attracted to anyone except Valla.  I had thought I was asexual or something before my wife, but that was proven wrong again and again.  After her death, which haunts me to this day, I have never found anyone else sexy.  Now I look at Vicky and a familiar heat and tingling of anticipation is hitting me.  I'm... I'm attracted to her.

I was so ashamed after that kiss last night, I knew Vicky would probably feel like she was betraying Valla.  I wouldn't ever want Victoria to feel that way.  I know I felt that way for a moment, but then I realized what Valla would say and how she would react.  She would be happy that I found a spark again.  I had always believed that Valla was my once in a lifetime lightning strike.  Nobody will ever be able to replace her in my heart, but she would be first to point out that I didn't have to and there was room in my heart for more.

I sighed, knowing I could never act on my new-found attraction.  I couldn't bear being the cause of any guilt in her.  But it was enough to know it was there, and that Vicky was finally home.  Maybe I'll talk with her after Abbey's wedding.

I was knocked out of these thoughts looping endlessly in my head by a pillow strike right to the kisser by a giggling blonde.  “Earth to Mia.  You got lost in loop land again.  We need to get ready for the Christmas showing.  It is in two hours and we still need to obtain some tasty breakfast burritos before we hit the museum.”  I grinned.  We almost lived on breakfast burritos back in college, it was a running joke between us Three Lez-migos.

I stood and rolled my eyes and said as my hand discretely reached down toward the bed.  “Okay, I'll get the girls up.  And Vicky?”  She cocked an eyebrow and I locked eyes with her sparkling blues. Wow! Then I snatched the pillow next to my hand and gave her a sneaky whap to the head with it then ran out of the room as fast as I could from the laughing blonde, barely avoiding the thrown pillow at my escape.

I listened at Abbey's door.  I was in a playful mood so I suddenly pounded on the door loudly shouting.  “Rise and shine girls!”

I snorted at the “Bloody Hell!” from Sammie, then continued to my room to get ready.  I had to grin, I have seen Sammie as a second daughter for the past couple years.  I am so excited that after their graduation, she would be my British daughter for real.  This made me think of the ever so slight British accent I was picking up from Vicky now.  It warmed me in all the interesting places.

After a quick shower and dressing in my formal dress I wore for openings.  I folded my dirty clothing from yesterday neatly and placed them in the laundry basket by the door, full of garments that needed washing. I put on some light makeup... I normally didn't wear much, but I wanted to look nice for Vicky.  I mean that's what any good hostess would do, right?  Hey, don't look at me like that.

I lined up my makeup on the counter meticulously, pushing it around with a finger until it was all lined up perfectly then I appraised myself in the mirror.  I sighed, I was showing signs of my age, but I thought I looked okay.  I could never tell if I was attractive or not, all I could see in the mirror were my flaws.

When I went out into the great room, I smiled, I was the last one ready apparently.  I caught myself almost subconsciously licking my lips at Vicky's professional look.  It was of the sexy librarian caliber the way she was nibbling on the end of her glasses like that.  Sammie was dressed in the cutest outfit she had brought with her for Christmas break.   Abbey was in one of the sun dresses that made Sammie drool.  I had to shake my head with a grin at my daughter's evilness, she teases the poor girl so.

I nodded and said, “I guess you all pass muster.”  I hugged each of them, not able to keep my eyes off of Vickster.  I didn't realize it until a little later that I had absently grabbed her hand and laced our fingers as I dragged her toward the garage door.

I stopped at the door to put on Valla's combat boots. Vicky tilted her head at my purse and I reached in and showed her Little Vee.  My tiny, old worn out teddy bear that Valla had got for me to calm my nerves.  I smiled fondly... back in the day, Vicky always made sure I didn't forget Little Vee.

I know that combat boots with a formal dress looks a little odd, but if anyone doesn't like it, they can go take a long walk off a short pier.  My wife's boots gave me strength to be out in the world.

We loaded up into the FJ Cruiser.  I caught Vicky staring at my private artwork on the wall in the garage that doubled as my private art studio.  There were a few pieces of my art that I had made just for me that I didn't want to share with the rest of the world.  Her eyes were locked on the one with the blonde, smiling with an infectious smile.  I looked between it and her now, you could easily see that young smiling girl inside this new sexy exterior.  I cocked my head, there was so much more in her eyes now, but behind it all she looked haunted, almost pained.

The girls were silent as we made our way to the golden arches to get a quick breakfast.  I was determined to follow through on my comedic threat to have breakfast burritos.  Every time I looked in the rear view mirror, the smiling girls were just looking between Victoria and me.  I finally squeaked out, “What?”

This just got some chuckles and, “Oh nothing,” from my evil daughter.

I let go of Vicky's hand and pointed in the mirror at the girls and said, “Don't make me stop this car!”  Then I reclaimed Vicky's warm hand.  Their eyes followed.  Oh crap, I didn't realize I was doing it.  I hope Vicster doesn't mind.  I started to let go, but her grip tightened slightly.  I smiled as we made our way through the long drive-through line.

I parked in an empty slot in the parking lot and we partook of the awesome smelling offerings.  If there is a God, then one of his best creations was breakfast burritos.  Just sayin'.

Once we finished, everyone waited as I folded up the yellow wrapper neatly and handed it back to Abbey. I pulled us up to the trash container at the curb and she threw out our trash.  I had the urge to get out and pick up the trash from the inconsiderate people who had missed the can.  I closed my eyes and fought off the urge.  There are times that my OCD is a real pain in the ass.  I'm so blessed to be surrounded by people who put up with it.

With one last look at the mess on the ground, I pulled away and got us back on the road again. Continually glancing into my rear view mirror at the trash can until it was out of sight.  Victoria squeezed my hand gently and I forgot all about the mess. Well, mostly.  Maybe I can sneak out later to go clean it up.  I could... I forgot what I was obsessing about when I glanced over to a smiling blonde and those crystal blues were all I could think about suddenly.

I blushed and pulled into the gallery lot.  It was Christmas, everyone should be in their homes with their families, celebrating, not looking at my memories on canvas.  The lot was packed!  I circled and was about to head toward a pay lot down the street when Vicky pointed with her free hand.  I grinned and pulled into the slot that had a big signpost with a brass plaque that read, “Reserved for Galley Owner”  The silly look on her face was priceless, classic Vickster.

We all hopped out and the anxiety started hitting me.  I was fidgeting with my hands and wringing my fingers as we approached the door.  I hate crowds.  Oh, and being out in the world.  And noodles... noodles are so random and hard to organize, they are the bane of my existence.  A moment later I had something else to fixate on as warmth started spreading through my body from the contact as my blonde companion grabbed my hand and laced our fingers.

But a moment later she pulled me to a halt when she froze on the sidewalk.  I glanced at her then followed her gaze to the door.  Standing there was a short woman in her early sixties that I recognized right away.  Maira Davenport, Vicky's mom.  I felt excitement mixed with shame, looking at the smiling woman who had her hands pressed together in front of her lips.  I hadn't visited the Davenport's since Victoria left after Valla's funeral service.  Maybe I'm a bad person, but I didn't want to be reminded of the loss of my best friend after the loss of my wife.  I'm a coward and I am weak.

Vicky let go of me and took two steps forward as Maira, who took two of her own up to her and the women hugged desperately.  When they pulled apart, Vicky looked embarrassed and looked down, she spread her arms slightly to her sides.  “Ummm... surprise mom?  I'm home?”

Maira just shook her head at her daughter with a crooked smile until she glanced over at me.  She covered her mouth, then grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug.  “Mia!  It has been too long!” Then she looked over my shoulder and her smile bloomed even more as she released me.  “Baby Abbey is all grown up.”

Now my daughter was blushing.  I smiled and said, “Maira, you changed Abbey's diapers, and the lovely woman with her there is her wonderful fiance, Samantha.  Girls, this is Victoria's mother,  Maira Davenport.”  Maira shook each of their hands and then gushed over how grown up Abbey was.  I came to the rescue by saying, “They are expecting me inside, I wouldn't want to upset the new gallery owner.”

I grinned at Vicky, who blushed cutely.  Her mother looked between us and connected the dots. Again Vicky said, “Ummm... surprise?”

Maira rolled her eyes and looped her arm in mine and pulled me away from Vic and toward the door, saying comically, “That girl.”  God help me, but I giggled.

When we got inside Vicky reclaimed my hand.  There were... there were so many people.  I... Abbey was suddenly by my side but before she could find me a private place to compose myself before they announced my exhibit, Vicky was already on the move, pulling me up the stairs and into an office. I grinned at Frank Davenport, Vicky's dad, as I was pulled past him.  The girls and the Davenports followed.

I was still in a happy fog that Vicky was protecting me like she always had.  Abbey seemed pleased, she is always the one to protect me when she is home, now I had two protectors.  After introductions were made to Frank and he gave me a fatherly bear hug, the girls excused themselves to go down to the gallery proper to look at the art.

After a few explanations to her parents, the Davenports left to join the girls and allow me to compose myself.  Vicky's words echoed through me and set off a tuning fork inside, “You're going to be great Mi-Mi.”  I haven't heard that nickname in forever.  I was stuck in smile mode.

A knock at the door prompted Vic to say, “Come in.”

I grinned at Missy Hannigan when she walked in.  She nodded acknowledgment to each of us as she greeted us, “Spaz, hyper-bitch.”

I gave her a quick hug saying, “Skank.”  Missy was my most unorthodox friend.  She was the bane of my existence in school.  It took me years to realize her abrasive personality and crude verbal insults were a coping mechanism for her.  She kept people away on purpose, like she was afraid to let anyone in, to see her for who she was.

She was a constant in my life, and once I broke through that armor, I saw her as a fierce friend.  I wish I knew what had caused her to be so afraid of letting people get close.  I pity the person who hurts one of the few people she has let in.  I witnessed what would happen first hand when she came close to beating a girl to death that was involved in an attack that almost killed me in my freshman year.

Vicky gave her a hug and I snorted when Vic said, “Whore,” to her with a grin.  Missy smiled at that and then she looked at me.  “I'm going to go down and introduce you now Mia.  I'll run interference after you unveil the work, keep people away from you.  You may have to speak with some patrons that are interested in purchasing the art, but I'll make sure to keep it short.  We just need you to fake mingling for about a half hour after the unveiling and then get you spirited away.”

I smiled fondly at the tall blonde, even now she was protecting me and anticipating the buffer zone I'd need to stop from panicking too badly.  I have gotten much better about meeting people over the years and can control my phobia over touching pretty well so long as I can wash my hands soon after. She was a good curator to watch out for the eccentricities of the artists she presented at the gallery.

Vicky was nodding appreciatively at Missy's thoroughness.  Then Missy rolled her eyes playfully. “The things I do for freaks like you.”

I giggled. “I love you too Missy.”  She smiled fondly then left the room.

I took a deep breath and Vicky grabbed my hand.  “Come on, let's wait at the top of the stairs.”  I nodded.  I'd let her lead me anywhere as long as she didn't let go of my hands.  She caught my eyes with hers and a lot of anxiety bled off.

I was about to say something to her when someone behind me cleared their throat.  I turned and my smile couldn't have gotten any bigger.  Skylar and Kimi Roth were here!  I have been friends off and on with them over the years.  They were probably my most famous fans, they were friggin Satin Thunder!  They have even commissioned small works from me for friends and family.  But then when their daughter, Sammie, started courting my daughter, they have become my extended family.

I hugged Skylar as my eyes locked on the colorful tattoos covering the burn scars down the right side of her body.  They were so beautiful and I could see the organic flow of the artwork as it conformed to the twists of her skin.  Whoever came up with the idea to trace the scars like that to bring out the hidden beauty within them was a genius.

She blushed like she always did at the amazement in my eyes.  I said, “S-s-skylar.  W-what are you doing here?  It's Christmas.”

She said in her smooth British accent, “What are we doing here?  You think Flower would bloody miss it?  Besides, Sammie won't shut up about it.”  I looked up at the stoic Native American beauty standing behind her.  If her eyes didn't give everything away, you would probably believe that she was an emotionless statue.  I knew better, I waited for it then her face suddenly broke into a soft smile.  She bent down and collected me into a bear hug that had my feet dangling off the ground.

She said in her musical soprano, “How's it goin Mia?”

She set me down and I grinned up at her.  “Well, n-nervous as hell but happy to see you two, Kim.”

Then I grabbed Vicky's hand and pulled her next to me as I laced our fingers.  “Vicky, this is Skylar and Kimi Roth, Sammie's parents.  Ladies, this is my...”  What was she to me? “my ummm...”  Oh! “This is my Vicky.  Victoria Davenport.”

Skylar took her hand in both of hers.  “I have actually met her before Mia, in London.  She's the bird who pressed me into competing in that bloody Karaoke Queen competition all those years ago.  Where I met my Flower.”  Gawd the look of love she shot Kimi was almost tangible.

Kim took Vic's hand and shook it and said in a toneless voice, “Then I'm in your debt.”  Her stoic look broke again as she gave her a genuine Kim smile.

Chapter 8 – Settling In

My heart stopped beating and I felt the burn of a blush on my cheeks and heading down my neck as Mia called me her Vicky.  I seriously wanted to run super-fast in tiny circles in excitement until I bored a hole into the center of the Earth.  I had to calm myself but couldn't lose the permanent smile.

This was surreal, meeting Satin Thunder, probably the most-successful band of all time.  I know it shouldn't feel that way, I met Skylar back in my junior year in Oxford before she became uber famous.  She seemed just as down to earth now as she was back then.  She projected such unbending strength and confidence now that she didn't have back then.  It looked good on her.  And those tattoos!  I managed to say, “Samantha certainly turned out well, you did good ladies.”

I could see their pride sparkling around in their eyes.  It struck me just how much pride in Kimi, since Samantha was not her biological daughter.  But that look told me just how fiercely she loved the girl.  I couldn't get a good read on Kimi, she seemed so emotionless, but this was one thing I knew for sure.

The ladies chatted with us for a minute then went downstairs to await the unveiling.

I checked the time and I whispered to the ebony haired beauty next to me, “Ok, you got this Mia, I'll be downstairs with the girls.”  She smiled and nodded nervously and I let go of her hand and made my way quickly downstairs and found Abbey and Sam.  We exchanged grins and Missy started speaking.

She was in full professional mode now.  “Ladies, gentlemen, esteemed guests... welcome to the Downtown Seattle Gallery.  My name is Missy Hannigan, the curator here.  Let me first wish those of you who celebrate it, the happiest of Christmases.  Continuing in our tradition of excellence in our endeavor to bring you some of the most tantalizing flavors for your artistic tastes, we have a special treat for our annual Christmas Showing.”

She looked around at the crowd and tilted her head slightly toward the stairs and couldn't stop a slight grin from appearing on her face. “We are honored to be the one gallery chosen in a no holds barred battle to get this exclusive artwork from one of the most intriguing artists of our time... ladies and gentlemen, I give you the incomparable Mia Jacobs.”

She held out a hand toward the stairs as people started applauding like they were at a rock concert. Mia came down the sweeping staircase with a confidence I haven't seen from her.  I didn't miss Little Vee clenched tight in a fist.  The crowd parted and let her through to the exhibit.

She looked around with a smile then said, “Th-th-thank you all for coming today.  I know y-you have better things to be doing on Christmas so I'll just make this short and sweet.”  She motioned at the two canvases covered in red satin. “I'd like to share a dear memory with you all through these works.  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you 'Prose.'”

She tugged a little string and the sheets fell away from the art.  Missy was quick to collect the sheets as the crowd applauded.  Then all of Mia's confidence started crumbling as Abbey and I rushed to her side and brought her off to the side.

I noted Tracy turning a reporter away over at the door, good girl.  Missy was fielding most of the questions as potential buyers and art patrons took turns standing on the mark on the floor, twelve feet away from the canvases to get the optimum experience of the Jacobs Effect.  I couldn't wait to see them.  I loved all of Mia's work.

I had to smile at my goddaughter as she deftly kept people from mobbing Mia.  She allowed certain people a short time to speak with her.  Mia wouldn't let go of my hand through the whole thing.  Then Missy introduced a couple potential buyers.

Later, I pulled Mia with me through the people when there was finally nobody standing on the marks on the floor.  I stood there with her and looked at the canvases.  Two of Vee's most-famous poems, Counting, and A Deafening Whisper were superimposed on photo-realistic pictures of Vee and Abbey. Oh god.  This was the moment Mia had described to me long ago.  Her most precious memory.  Vee holding baby Abbey in the delivery room with a look of love and amazement on her face.  The emotion of the moment rolled off the canvas.

Tears were welling up in my eyes.  I whispered to her, “They are beautiful.”

My heart was aching... then Missy broke me out of creating more white noise in my head than I ever had.  “Okay, you've been here long enough to be polite.  Ladies, get the spaz out of here before she dies of embarrassment.”  I just nodded, not being able to speak still.

I was again so proud of Abbey as she and Sammie skillfully plowed the road for Mia and I, connected at our clasped hands.  I could feel her tension and anxiety.  It was like a huge pressure vanished as we exited to the relative silence outside.

Mia relaxed and grinned at me as she let go of my hand and dug out a wet wipe from her purse and went about wiping every bit of her hands.  She really hated touching people, she had a mild germ phobia.  I just waited until she had wiped away the touches and handshakes from the people inside. She folded the wet wipe and put it in a little baggie.  I had to grin.  Then I was in heaven again as she reclaimed my hand.

Before we could bolt, Skylar and Kimi joined us outside.  We all said our goodbyes and Sky and Kim hugged Sammie.  As Kimi dangled Sam off the ground in a hug, she said, “Still coming to Bobbie's tonight?”  She tilted her head toward Abbey and added, “Both of you?” The little blonde just answered with a smile and a nod.

Then we were in Mia's car.  She wiped down the steering wheel then added that wipe to the little baggie.  I almost exploded when Mia leaned over and kissed my cheek and whispered hotly in my ear, “Thank you for being there Vicky, you kept me calm.”  Her hot breath caused goosebumps to travel down my neck and I curled my toes.

I nodded stupidly because, for all my intelligence, I couldn't figure out how that talking thing worked.  I mean, was there a crank or a handle you had to pull to make the words come out?  Oh, I'd so make an awesome mechanical girl!  Wait!  I still know how to do something!  I smiled at her as she pulled away.

She claimed my hand after she backed us out of the parking spot and we were on the way.  My blood ran cold and my anxiety started building as I remembered where we were going next as Mia turned toward my parent's house.

I swore under my breath in Japanese, “Chikusho.”

I was taken off guard when Abbey responded, “Obasan vu~ikki! Sore wa daijobudeshou.”

I had to smile, my goddaughter knew Japanese!  I grinned sheepishly back at her and apologized for my outburst, “Gomen'nasai”

She just grinned back like the cat who ate the canary.  Sammie was giggling and shaking her head. “Hey, now you two, no secret communication.”

Abbey comically put on a super innocent face with big eyes. Sammi just rolled her eyes and said, “Fine, if you're gonna be all cute about it.”  Mia snickered at all of our antics and I just gave her hand a little squeeze.

The sly look she shot me... 9-9-3-7-5-1.  Gwendolyn T. Harris, Mortimer S. Heinz, Pierce Malfoy. Butterflies taste with their feet.  Sea otters hold hands to prevent from floating apart when they sleep. To hell with it, I scrunched up my nose and smiled back at her and let my thoughts of her flood in.

Before long we were pulling up to my old house.  Funny when I think about it.  This was my first home.  I have only ever thought of this place and Mia's house as my homes.  London will always be a second home for me, but when you look at your heart and ask yourself, “Where is home?”  Your own answer may surprise you.  Home is a concept not a place.  It is where your heart lives.  It can be a house, a city, a person.  Like now, even with all of this rolling around in my head, I knew where my home really was.  I looked down at our hands laced together and my heart ached for the impossibility of it.

We got out of the car up to the door again.  As I tentatively reached for the door knob I was hit by the indecision, the feeling of not quite belonging, like when I went to Mia's last night.  I hesitated then instead knocked lightly.  Mia tilted her head and furrowed her brow at my indecision.  Before I could say anything, the door swung open and I thank I said something like “Gack” as my mom pulled me into a crushing hug.

She chuckled and released me and admonished me, “Why are you knocking?  This is still your home woman.”  I blushed as everyone greeted mom and she pulled us all inside almost bodily.  I haven't seen her so happy in years.

Dad joined us and we sat and visited.  I gave them the gifts I had for them and they surprised us all and exchanged gifts they had for the four of us.  Mom always was a sneaky one.  I loved her so much, she had quit her job as a physician to take care of me when I was really young, after they had realized I had sort of special needs as I grew up.  I still remember the look of shame, guilt, and the pain in her eyes the day they had me committed.  I knew she loved me more than anything, and it wasn't her fault.  It was my stupid brain.  I never blamed her though I can always see the specter of it haunting her eyes.

Mom asked if we would be staying for Christmas dinner.  Abbey spoke up quickly in apology, “I'm sorry Mrs. Davenport.  But Samantha and I have promised her parents we would spend the evening with them.”

Mom just smiled at her and said, “Maira, please.  I always look around for Frank's mother when people say Mrs. Davenport.  And you don't have to apologize.  Family is important, and as we grow, so do our families.  It is important to share our lives with family.  But alas, we can't be everywhere at once.”  Hmmm... was that pointed at me?  I needed to find my mother decoder ring.

Mia answered for me, “And we...”  she squeezed my hand, “would be delighted to stay for dinner.”  I looked at everyone's grinning faces and followed their gaze to our hands.  What the hell was everyone's fascination with our hands?  Friends can hold hands!  It's in the handbook somewhere, like right after the holding your friend's hair back while they puke in the toilet, and before a friend will eat ice cream with them after a breakup, clause.  I mean that is... what?  Oh, yeah, the story.

Mia's eyes were twinkling as she asked, “Internal rant?”

I gave a toothy grin.  “Internal rant.”

Everyone chuckled at my expense then Abbey pulled out her phone.  Mia quirked an eyebrow. Abbey just smiled.  “Cab.”

I put a hand on her's stopping her from dialing.  I stood and walked to the key pegboard beside our garage door and plucked off a keychain that had a pink feather dangling on it and tossed them to Abbey.  “Green Range Rover.”

They smiled and gave hugs all around.  When Abbey hugged me, she whispered, “Don't do anything I wouldn't do.”  I blushed and gleeped.  She had an evil, evil, self-satisfied grin on her face as she dragged her bouncing fiance with her.

There was silence for a moment then mom put on her game face and said, “Let's sit and really talk girls.”  Damn.  Time for me to eat crow and beg for my parent's forgiveness.

We sat and then I took a deep breath and began, with Mia sharing her new strength with me through our clasped hands.

Chapter 9 – Wedding Bells

The next six months passed in a blur.  We kept putting off finding me a permanent place to live. Mia and I would spend every night sitting with each other, either on my bed or hers, holding hands and discussing life, hopes, dreams, Abbey.  Playing Slapjack... I always win against her because I cheat.

I had got her to talk a little about our kiss.  She had admitted that she had felt a pang of guilt, like she was betraying Valla, but then she shut up about it and held something back.  I could never get anymore from her about it.  I wouldn't press, I knew if I did it would get locked into one of those endless loops in her head that just tortured her.  So I knew it was just a matter of time before I would have to move out to a place of my own for both her and my own sanity.

It was such a joy when the girls came home for spring break.  They split time between us and the Roth's and we all had an awesome picnic up in the mountains courtesy of Roberta and Blake Valentine. Sammie thinks that she is pretty sure, mostly, sort of, that Roberta is her only real aunt.  Her parents comically won't confirm nor deny it.  I grinned when she started introducing me around as Aunt Vicky. I had joined the endless throngs of her pseudo-aunts and uncles.

Abbey... what can I say about her.  I'm constantly amazed at the strong and confident woman the sweet baby from my memories had turned into.  I swell with pride at each of her accomplishments.  I don't think I could love her more if I were one of her actual mothers.

I tried for so long to have children with Beatrice, but she never wanted children.  My biological clock was screaming at me to no avail when I was with her.  Now it is almost too late.  I do find it ironic that the one thing she didn't want, a child, is the one thing she got with someone else and was the catalyst for her divorcing me.  I still wonder what is wrong with me, I know I could have loved her more, but was I not good enough?

Mia, Skylar, Kimi, and I were heavily involved with helping the girls plan for their upcoming wedding in July, after their graduation.  It brought so much joy into my heart that they were all treating me just like one of the parents.

I had started noticing lately that wherever we went, Mia and I were always touching in some manner.  It was quite addictive.  I was worried she would feel uncomfortable with it so I started holding back for a while, but to my extreme pleasure, she just gravitated to me anyway and would grab my hand firmly.

I wonder if she knew what it was doing to me and that it meant something more to me than her.  I mean I could always smell her scent when she stood so close, and her lips were...  7-9-3-2-3-8-4.  Gretta H. Franz, Tiberius L. Kessel.  A group of Pug puppies is known as a 'grumble.'   Mia has one hundred and three freckles on her arms.  Shit, how did that get through the white noise?

We woke up on that sunny Saturday.  I grinned down at the sleeping Mia with her head laying on my chest, our hands still intertwined like they were when we fell asleep talking again.  It was just a normal occurrence now, I almost can't remember a time when we didn't wake up together instead of in our own rooms apart.

I stared down at the sleeping angel.  I wanted so much more from her and I knew it could never happen.  I decided right then as I traced the soothe lines of her face with my eyes that after the wedding I would have to seriously look for a condo or house of my own.  I was just torturing myself laying with her every night, basking in her warmth, when I felt something different than the innocent contact she believed this to be.

She grinned with her eyes still closed as I watched her breathe.  “You're staring at me again you silly Brit transplant.”  She snuggled in more.

I released her hand and stroked her hair as I smiled down at her.  Just like me, she always knew.  “Yes I am.  It's time to get up woman.  A busy day awaits.  Can you believe she's getting married today?”

She opened one eye and smiled her trademark crooked smile, I don't think she even knows the right side of her mouth goes up a couple millimeters higher when she smiles, then she whispered, “Our little girl is all grown up Vicky.”  I grinned, then she added, “Valla would be so proud.”  This shot a dagger into my heart, why was the universe so cruel, why did it have to take Vee from us so young?

I smiled sadly at her as she sobered a bit too and I hopped out of bed, still in my clothes from last night.  A common occurrence.  She just rested her forehead against mine like she has gotten into the habit of doing.  I stared at her lips in want.  I swallowed then pulled away and changed the subject. “So, did Abbey clarify why they got dropped off last night from their bachelorette party by a police officer? I didn't totally believe the rumors I heard about June's Eight until that cop last night started babbling something about a Volkswagen, a kangaroo, and the mayor's private putting green.”

I don't think I had ever seen a more tight knit group of friends than when the college friends of Abbey and Sam showed up to spirit them away last night.  The student body of the academy had dubbed them, June's Eight.  Their exploits have become legendary and most people think of them as just urban legend.  I only gave a little credence to the stories until last night.  Holy crap on a cracker, does this mean the story about the Staten Island Ferry is true?!

Mia scrunched up her face and chuckled a little as she said, “No, the girls just kept saying, 'What happens in the Volkswagen, stays in the Volkswagen,' then they just exchange silly glances at each other.  I swear Vic, they are worse than we were in college.”

I nodded. “But with fewer breakfast burritos.”

She nodded back like it was a common fact.  “Yes, with fewer breakfast burritos.”

I snorted then I tilted my head at her to rearguard her.  She blushed and blurted, “What?”

I just grinned and said matter of factly, “You wound up being a hell of a mom Mi-Mi.  Abbey is so lucky to have you.”

She blushed again and hopped off the bed.  “Get your hyper-blonde ass ready.  There is still lots to do before guests start arriving.”

I saluted.  “Ma'am yes ma'am.”  She swatted at me as I escaped to my bathroom.  I called through the door.  “You call the caterer and I'll wake up the brides.”  I heard her grunt an affirmative, then I leaned with my back to the door and let some of the heat from being close to her fade.  Then I went about getting ready for a busy day.  My smile was a permanent fixture as I thought about Abbey making this life affirming leap.

After a quick shower and getting into a tank top and shorts, I made my way down to the hall to the girl's room.  I heard Mia on the phone in the great room confirming times with the caterer.  I raised my hand to knock, but then an evil grin crossed my face, and instead I pounded loudly on the door.  “Hey ladies! Get yer butts up and get some clothes on!  I'm coming in!”

I threw the door open to see exactly what I knew I'd find.  Two half dazed, half shocked women with bad bed head still in their clothes from last night sprawled across the bed where they collapsed last night.  Well, not last night, more like early this morning.  Abbey was trying to push some of her hair out of her mouth with her tongue.  She whined, “G-mom.  It's...”  she glanced at her nightstand clock, “..SIX in the morning?!  We've only had four hours of sleep!”  Sammie backed her by groaning something like, “Grufumfelll ugggh” in agreement through bleary eyes with drool on her left cheek.

I blushed, I loved when Abbey called me G-mom, it was her way of shortening godmother, she is always saying she sees me more like a mom lately.  I grinned my most evil of grins and said, “It's your own fault.  Now come on girls, chop chop, you got a wedding to attend today!”

This got glowing smiles to bloom on their faces, then they exchanged longing looks at each other.  I snorted and blurted out at mach four, “Hey now, none of that!  Do we need to separate you two until the service? Oooo good plan, you aren't supposed to see the bride before the wedding.  I should call Sky and have her restrain the blondie while Mia and I cage the wild one and...”

The girls were giggling.  Abbey interrupted me, “Vicky, slow down, breathe.  We are perfectly capable of...”

She was interrupted by a grinning Mia, who appeared by my side saying, “Too late girls, Sky and Kim are already on their way over for Operation Cold Shower.”

This got a combined moaning, “Awwwww!” from the girls followed by grins, Sammie was coyly twirling her single pink lock of hair with a finger.  I grabbed Mia's hand and dragged her away as we chuckled. I called back over my shoulder, “Get cleaned up ladies.  Somebody is getting married in six hours.”

Mia whispered in mirth, “You are so evil Vic.”

I mocked shock. “Why Ms. Jacobs weren't you just doing the same thing?”

She shrugged and wandered off to get us mugs of coffee, calling out levelly, “Yes, but I make it look good.”  A well-aimed throw pillow to her retreating back elicited the laugh I required for allowing her to get away with it.

A few minutes later Sky and Kim showed up.  We all shared a light breakfast then they pried Sammie away from our girl and sequestered her away in Mia's room to start the transformation into a blushing bride.

We got the wedding planner and her minions, who had arrived to start setting up the house and backyard for the wedding, busy.  Then we snagged a super nervous Abbey and dragged her to her room. She kept getting more nervous by the minute.  She voiced her fears, “What if she changes her mind? What if I'm not good enough for...”

Both Mia and I stopped her.  Mia had her patient and loving mother look on her face as she said, “That woman has nothing but you in her heart.  Everyone can see it from a mile away.”

I nodded and added, “I have never seen two people more perfect for each other.  I bet she's with her parents having the exact same meltdown and they are telling her the exact same thing.  You two together are greater than the sum of your parts.”

This got me a sneak hug from Abbey, she whispered to me so Mia wouldn't hear, “You two need to realize that too.”  Then she released me and looked between us and said, “I love you two so much!”

As I blushed I wondered what she was trying to say to me.  I started dwelling on it, thousands of lines of thoughts on the subject assaulted me.  The white noise wasn't helping.  My anxiety was building and the voices started shouting.  I couldn't filter it all out, there was too much and I was covering my ears in a fruitless effort to make it stop when suddenly my mind narrowed to laser focus on one thing, drowning out everything, Mia's sparkling green eyes locked on mine, and a hand on one of my arms, pulling it down from my ears.  She had a look of concern on her face.

I glanced between the concerned women and just shook my head in embarrassment.  “I'm fine.”  I gave a half smile.  Damn, I haven't been that close to the edge in decades and that scares the hell out of me.  I really did need to find my own place, I will never go back to the institution!

I took a deep breath and ignored their looks and started brushing out Abbey's hair.  I said, “You look so much like your mother when you don't straighten your hair Abs, you really should keep the natural waviness for the wedding, it will look spectacular.”

She shot me one last concerned look then took my cue.  She smiled and said, “You think?”  She looked to Mia, who just grinned and nodded.

Mia and I got ourselves ready for the wedding as well as we primped Abbey.  After a bit, we had transformed Abbey from a beautiful young woman into the very vision of a bride, then I looked at Mia. “We better go make sure everything is coordinated.”  She nodded.  I gave Abbey one last hug and she kissed my cheek and I said, “You've never looked more beautiful Abs.  I love you so much and am so very proud.”

Her eyes were welling up as she smiled and said, “I love you too.”  Then Mia was physically dragging me out of the room by my hand.  We went around the property double-checking everything with the wedding planner that Crystal McKay had set up.

I'm not sure how we got Sasha McGraff as her services were sought after around the globe.  Crystal was just cryptic when she said offhandedly, “Sasha owes me a favor,” or some other nonsense like that. Everything was perfect, we couldn't find any weak links.  The way the woman blended into the background, you almost wouldn't have know she was there if you weren't looking for her.

Guests started arriving and the Roth's joined us.  Sky grinned mischievously, “Meltdown?”

Mia giggled a bit. “Yes, Sammie too?”

Kim's carved stone face broke into a silly smile.  “Sam was a puddle in there.”

We all went outside and took in the breathtaking scene.  It reminded me so much of Mia and Vee's wedding here.  I think that may have been the point.  We watched as the guests were seated in the dozens of rows of chairs on the lawn leading up to the dock on either side of the red velvet carpet running from the house to the white arbor set up on the dock.

I had to grin a little at the guests.  If I hadn't been accustomed to being around famous individuals, I would have been fan-girling out at the virtual who's who of the Seattle area.  Fine whatever, I was fan-girling out.

It was odd to have police and hired security at the front door to keep the reporters and the curious away.  The group of women attending were being dubbed the “Legends of the Northwest."  I even saw a couple police helicopters over the lake, keeping news choppers away.

I glanced around at some of the occupants of the chairs.  I grinned at June's parents, Mandy Fay Harris-West and Congresswoman Anabella West, and June's ball of energy little sister Lizzie, she was close to graduating college too.  Then there were Sammie's pseudo aunts who took up two rows all by themselves.  Roberta and Blake Valentine.  Jane and Crystal McKay.  Reese and Sarah Qualls. Sandra and Penny Franklin-Callahan with their twins, Lessa and Brandye.  Kylee and Amber LaLaine.  Then of course Sammie's parents, Satin Thunder themselves, Kimi and Skylar Roth and Sammie's grandmother, Prudence.  Others I believed were just as noteworthy even if the reporters couldn't see it were Mrs. Zatta from The Pike Bakery, Missy Hannigan and her husband Steven and my parents.

As things started settling down, Mia and I took our seats beside my parents across the aisle from Sky and Kim.  We exchanged nervous and excited smiles.

Mia's head started nodding almost imperceptibly, I had to smile at her when I recognized her coming to the end of a countdown.  Then right on cue, she smiled as June and that cute little goth woman, Zilrita, in their pretty turquoise maids of honor dresses started walking toward the house to retrieve their assigned brides.  Mia gave my hand a little squeeze and released it as she and Sky stood and rushed back to give their daughters a last word of encouragement.

I was buzzing with energy if I were a cyborg I'd have been able to bench press a city bus.  Ooo I'd so make an awesome cyborg!  My excitement for Abbey and Sammie was off the charts.  A couple minutes later Skylar came back out and sat, shooting a grin at me from across the aisle.  A few seconds later, a smiling and watery eyed Mia came back to sit beside me.  Our fingers were interlaced before I even knew it.

The musicians started playing a slow understated violin march with a supporting bass and cello undercurrent that was more felt than heard.

It was instantly silent with only the music playing.  All heads turned and looked back.  A moment later, Samantha Prudence Roth, the epitome of grace and beauty came marching down the red carpet on the arm of Zilrita.  Wow, I have never seen Sam look so gorgeous.  I was so proud that she would be my goddaughter's bride in just minutes.  I loved this girl as much as I loved Abbey.

They took their places on the right side of the arbor in front of the preacher.  Sammie looked so regal standing there.  I grinned when she broke character for a moment to give a tiny wave to her parents and then to Mia and me, before returning to her polished demeanor.

Moments later the entire band started an elegant and formal wedding march.  Everyone stood and we all turned back again.  I couldn't see anything, grrr... ok, this is one of those rare times I don't love being short.

There were gasps and smiles and finally, I could see Abbey as she passed us on June's arm.  She shot us a loving look and we just smiled back in reassurance.  By the lords of Kobol, she was a vision!  I could just barely see her hand on June's arm shaking.

The service that followed had me in tears, June's hands were signing everything the preacher said in a graceful pantomime that held a beauty of its own.  Mia and I shared a handkerchief, dabbing away our tears to try to keep our makeup from running.  I was so happy when Abbey said “I do,” that my heart actually hurt.  I wanted nothing but joy for her in her new life with Sam.

Then Sammie's excitement caused us all to chuckle when it was her turn for the vows when the preacher started asking “And do you Samantha Prudence Roth...”

“I do,” the little blonde blurted out as she too gracefully signed with her hands.

The guests were all chuckles and smiles as he said, “I haven't finished the question.”  Then he attempted the question again, “Do you, Samantha Prudence Roth take Abbey Victoria Jacobs as...”

“I do!”  Sam blurted and signed again.  This time the guests laughed with true amusement.

The preacher sighed then shot her a look of reprimand.  She was almost bubbling with energy as she shifted from foot to foot, giving him a look of apology.  He grinned then started again but held up a finger, just in time to silence her again.  “Do you, Samantha Prudence Roth take Abbey Victoria Jacobs as your lawfully wedded wife?”

She comically squinted an eye at him and scrunched up her nose, seeking permission, and he nodded then she blurted out and signed, “I do!” Then Abbey slipped the ring on her finger.  Before anyone could blink, the girls were in a passionate lip lock that had me looking at Mia's lips.  Oh my...

The preacher cleared his throat and the girls broke their kiss with a look of embarrassment and apology.  The man just winked at them and said, “I now pronounce you wife and wife.  You may NOW, kiss the bride.”  They did, holy public display of affection Batman!  Was it getting hot out there?

Then Mia cried, fine whatever.  Mia and I cried for our Abbey.  This was one of the happiest moments of my life seeing my goddaughter so happy.  The next moment the girls were almost running up the aisle toward the huge glass door of the house.  I grinned, I knew they just wanted to get the reception over with so they could be alone on their honeymoon.  We were all barely able to pelt them with the birdseed as they ran.

We all filed slowly into the house, Mia and I were last in.  Before we stepped in, she reached up with a soft hand and gently brushed my hair back over my shoulder.  I leaned into her touch as she whispered, “You look so beautiful today Victoria.”

I basked in the loving smile she gave me then she was suddenly pulling me into the house to congratulate our girls.

Chapter 10 – White Noise Failure

The next couple weeks were sort of hectic as we wound down from the wedding and awaited the girl's return from their honeymoon in London.  I had given Abbey a handwritten note to give to Candi while they were in England.  I missed my best friend a lot.  We had kept in touch ever since I moved back home so I liked doing little things like the hand delivered note to let her know that I had not forgotten my second home.

I needed to go visit soon, my godson Brandon had been born three weeks back and I desperately wanted to meet him.

Skylar and Kimi had been conspiring with us the past month.  The girls had been house hunting before the wedding and there was one house that the East Fork Issaquah Creek ran through that they loved, but it was out of their price range.

The place was beautiful, surrounded by nature, nestled at the base of the majestic Cascade mountains.

In a pact of evil, Mia and I had pitched in with the Roth's to outright purchase the house and the surrounding properties for the girls as our wedding present.  Oh, I would so make an awesome super-villain!  By obtaining the wooded properties around it, we guaranteed that they would always have their privacy without urban sprawl threatening in the future.

On the day the girls would be returning home, Kim and Sky went to pick them up at the airport and Mia and I awaited their return.  Then we would be whisking them off to Issaquah for the surprise.

Mia had been getting more and more tense while the girls were on their honeymoon like a shadow was slowly moving over her.  She didn't smile as much lately.  I didn't know what was wrong, but she desperately clung to me more than ever.  I was okay with that but also concerned as to what might be wrong.  I wracked my brains but couldn't put my finger on what was causing her sudden anxiety.  I made the decision then that I would speak with her that night to see if there were anything I could do to alleviate this new stress.

The girls got home and looked bloody exhausted, but they had squealing hugs for Mia and me. They wanted so bad to retire, but my ebony haired beauty told them, “There'll be time enough for sleeping later.  Besides, you don't want a bad case of jet-lag, so you should try not to sleep until tonight. We have an errand to run.  Please?  As a favor to the hyper-blondie over there?”

Abbey grinned and chirped, “Oooo... bringin' out the big guns and calling the G-mom card?  That's underhanded.”

Sammie attached herself to my arm and leaned her head on my shoulder cutely. “Of course, we can run an errand with Vicky...”  then she added, “Mummy.”  I swear to you Mia beamed in joy at being called mummy.

Skylar nodded with a satisfied grin and said in her low contralto, “Good, now that that's settled you silly birds, we should all be about it then.”

The girls rode with the Roth's and we took my old Range Rover and stopped for an early dinner at the XXX Rootbeer burger joint in Issaquah and we sat at the picnic tables outside.  Mia seemed a little distracted by the shadow was hanging over her head and in her eyes.

We had the girls tell us all about their honeymoon, they didn't have much to say.  I knew Abbey had always wanted to go to London for some reason, but she wasn't very talkative about it.  I prompted, “What was you favorite thing in London?  Westminster Abbey?  Buckingham Palace?  Did you get a chance to go out to Stonehenge? “

The girls looked at each other and burst out laughing with embarrassed looks on their faces.  Abs slipped her hand into Sam's and blushed and said, “Ummm... we really didn't get to see too many sites... but, ummm... the hotel room was nice.”  The girls burst out laughing and blushing intensely.

I giggled. “Oh.”

They had a messenger deliver my note for them.

Then Sammie added, “I did promise her that we'd holiday back home soon so she could be a shameful tourist, when we aren't so bloody... distracted.”

They shared a smile and Sky rolled her eyes shaking her head and teasing. “Kids.”

Then with finely tuned comedic timing, Kimi, with her stoic face said, “Come to think of it, I don't remember much about our honeymoon except the hotel room either Sky.  You were an animal.”

Sammie started waving her arms around like she was trying to erase something from her mind. “Ewwww.... ewwwww... I don't need to know these things!”  To everyone else's amusement.

Abbey was just as bad as the rest of us when she laid her head on Kim's shoulder with a spark of mischief in her eye, “I don't know Sammie, I think it is sweet.”

I was just absently rubbing my thumb on the side of Mia's hand, our fingers laced as always.  Then Sammi asked me, “Help me shut this lot up Vicky.”

I shrugged and said, “Don't know if I can help you there.  I'm 0-3 in love, so I think it is cute.  Like mother like daughter.”

She paused a second.  I rewound what I said. Did I sound bitter or just pathetic? She smiled and said a little softer, “Traitor!”

Trying to lighten back up, I grinned and winked, saying, “That assumes I was on your side to begin with.” I scrunched my nose, “I think you and Abs are beyond adorable together, so that will get you endless teasing from us.”

Sammie reached over the table and flicked a french fry at me.  Mia gave her a cute scrunched nose, squinty-eyed look, then grabbed another fry and dipped it in ketchup and fed it to me.  Ha!  Take that Samantha!  Oh wait, Mia just fed me! I'm frigging melting here!

We cleaned up our mess and headed back to the cars.  We took the girls with us this time after Sky and Kim tied black blindfolds on them.  Sammie was whispering loudly in the back seat as I drove, “Oh god, they're going to abandon us in the mountains aren't they?  We'll have to be adopted by wolves and learn to live in the bloody wilderness.”

Abbey chimed in, “That's ok, we can name our first child Wolfette.  She can enter squirrel beauty pageants and...”

Mia was grinning like an idiot listening to them banter back and forth adding to their imaginary plight until we arrived at the house.  We waited until the Roth's had joined us then we helped the girls out of the car and stood them beside each other, looking at the gorgeous A-Frame house.

Mia took off Abbey's blindfold while Skylar took off Samantha's.  Mia said softly to the girls, “A wedding gift from the four of us.  We love you girls so much.”

The young women were in shock and struck totally speechless.  I handed them a manila envelope that contained the deed and all the paperwork for the house.  A moment later I squeaked, “Gack!” as I was pulled into a tight hug by Abbey, then a matching one from Sammie.  I was in a super smiley grin mode. Then the girls attacked the other three with just as much gusto.

Abbey was tearing up by the time she could speak again.  She said in a wavering voice and tears in her eyes, “We have the most awesome parents.”  My eyes were welling up when I realized she was looking at not just Mia and the Roth's, but at me too.  Crap, even though I loved her like a daughter, I didn't deserve to be lumped in like that.  I'm an impostor, I had left her life when she was a baby, for twenty years so the women I loved wouldn't know I had betrayed our friendship by falling in love with them.  I ran so I didn't have to face one of them fading and dying before my very eyes.  I abandoned Abbey's mother to face it alone.

I... my thoughts were interrupted by Mia standing directly in front of me with a look of concern on her face.  She locked eyes with me and brought me back to them all.  She cupped my cheek in her hand and I leaned in and smiled and turned to the girls,  “Let's go see your house ladies!”

We walked up to the door and the girls saw the electronic lock on the door, Abbey turned toward us and we made a show of shrugging.  This caused Abbey to suddenly squint her eyes directly at me then cock an eyebrow.  I feigned innocence and shrugged again.  She typed in her code from the lake house and the light turned green and she turned the deadbolt lock with a grin of triumph.  I had programmed it and Sammie's into the door for them.  She realized I didn't have a choice but knowing their codes for the door back at the lake house.  It was burned into my memory like everything else.  All I ever needed to do was inadvertently glance when they typed it in once.

We were about to go in when another SUV came up the access road.  The girls grinned and waited as June pulled up to park beside the other two vehicles.  She hopped out with that patented self-assured grin of hers that reminded me so much of her mother, Mandy Fay Harris.  “Sorry, I'm late.”  She gave the girl's hugs and nods of the head to us 'adults.'  “So Hank, AJ, what are we waiting for?  Let's tour your house.”  I rolled my eyes.  Did June ever use anyone's real name?  We never could get Sammie to tell us why June calls her Hank.   All she would ever say was, “Academy orientation.”

The three of them exchanged looks, it was like they had their own secret silent language that only one of June's Eight would understand and they all burst out laughing as they lead the way into the house, leaving us four women looking at each other in confusion then we all chuckled and followed.

We more mature, except for me, ladies, just chatted as we absently wandered through the house again.  We could hear Abs and Sam excitedly sharing their plans for each room with June, the three girls took the Roth's with them for a tour of the property.  Kimi wanted to see the creek, she is such an outdoors person.  I smiled at that.

Mia just absently played with my hand as we walked out onto a huge deck on the second floor and looked out through the trees toward the creek.  She was lost in thought.  I tilted my head, that damn shadow was there again.  I asked, “What is it Mi-Mi?  Something has been bothering you for weeks now.”

She blinked a couple times then looked over at me like she had only half heard what I had said and was reconstructing it in her head.  Then she smiled and lowered her eyes slightly in embarrassment.  It just made me want to protect her for some reason.  She shook her head and smiled sadly.  “It's nothing Vic.  I just...”  She paused, looking for the right words.  “I just don't know who I am anymore.”

I tilted my head and furrowed my brow in confusion and prompted, “What do you mean?”

She squeezed my hand then let it go so she could run both hands through her hair, pushing it back over her shoulders as she shrugged.  She reclaimed my hand and turned it palm up and just examined it as she said, “It's s-s-stupid... in college, I lived for m-my relationship with Valla, I loved that woman... still love that woman beyond words.  Then after...” She squeezed her eyes shut in painful memory, I knew that she felt Vee's loss like it was yesterday, just like I did.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes and then smiled sadly at me, “Well then I dedicated m-m-my life to making sure Abbey had the best life I could give her, a happy life, a full life.”

Then a tear rolled down her cheek and she took another deep breath to steel herself.  “But now our baby is all grown up and moving out.  I don't... I don't know what to do now.  I don't know who I am without her.  I'm... glad you are here.”  She laced our fingers and squeezed my hand.

I looked at her, absorbing her words.  Then looked out over nature and got lost in thought and I said at a million miles an hour, “You're who you have always been Mia.  A woman with more strength, more love, more creativity than anyone I have ever known.  You weren't living for Abbey, you were showing her your strength, giving her an example to aspire to.  You give so much of yourself to the people around you because that is who you are, it makes you stronger, and that strength defines you.  It is what made me fall in love with you and...”

I snapped my mouth shut realizing what I had just said.  Panic was starting to overwhelm me and the voices were all screaming in my head, all the memories of her and Vee wouldn't let anything else in, I couldn't concentrate enough to make any white noise and the thoughts running rampant in my head threatened to incapacitate me.  I was brought out of my panic as my mind went blank as I concentrated only on the soft lips on mine.  There was nothing but silence and heat in my head.

I started returning the kiss.  But then realized what I was doing, This would devastate Mia, she would feel as though she were betraying Vee.  I know I felt like I was betraying both of them.  Oh god! I pushed her to arm's length.  I looked at her through eyes welling in tears.  I think I was whispering something like, “No no no... I can't do that to you...”  Then I was running.

I was revealing my true nature again, I was a coward, I was running again.  I heard Mia calling after me in a wavering voice.  I got to my car and drove off as fast as I could with my vision blurring with tears.  Oh god, what had I done?  I needed to get away from her before I did irreparable damage.  I was hyperventilating by the time I made it to the lake house.  I grabbed a bag and my passport and ran back out to the car.

I barely remember making a phone call to my travel agent, getting a private jet to London booked.  Candi... Candi would know what to do, how to fix it...  I couldn't stop all of the thoughts and voices and memories that were assaulting me from all sides.  I was physically shaking, I knew I'd get into an accident if I didn't calm down, but my chest hurt so bad.  I set my phone to hands-free and had it dial Candice.  She answered right away.  I croaked out her name, but I hurt everywhere, I couldn't feel my left arm I...  my chest!  I remember the telephone pole that seemed to just jump out in front of the car.

Chapter 11 – Define Myself

Come on Mia, get with the program, I chided myself.  The girls would be back from their honeymoon any minute now, Skylar and Kimi had gone to get them from the airport.  I smiled fondly at that.  Skylar knew I had a problem with crowds so they volunteered for that part of our dastardly plan.

I glanced over at the blonde imp beside me on the couch and gave her hand a little squeeze.  I took in every curve of her face, the graceful line of her neck, her... lips.  Gawd, she was sexy with those reading glasses on as she read the paper.

She stopped for a second then looked over at me and shot me one of those silly smiles I love so much.  She took her glasses off with her free hand and absently chewed on an earpiece for a second in that adorable habit I don't think she realizes she has.  She scrunched her nose and asked, “What's up Mi-Mi?”

I just smiled back and shook my head. “It's nothing.”  She looked at me a few seconds longer then just smiled and put her glasses back on and went back to speed scanning the newspaper.  I smiled at her for a few more seconds then turned back to watch the last minute of news on the television before turning it off.

I glanced over at the miracle beside me.  The impossibility of Victoria Amelia Davenport being back in my life.  I had missed her for so long, the only person besides Valla and Abbey who accepted me completely for who I was.  I still can't convey the joy that filled me that day in the gallery so many months ago when I saw her face again.

It was as if the part of my heart, that had gone dormant when Valla was called home early by God, had awakened again.  I had always believed that Vicky was a beautiful girl, but the woman she had become had totally taken my breath away like only one person had done before.  I couldn't believe how sexy I found her.  I had resigned myself to the fact that I would never find love again that I would never feel attracted to another.  But then wham! There she was, standing in front of me in the gallery and I almost couldn't breathe.  I felt a familiar sexual attraction... an arousal that woke up parts of me I thought gone forever.

It didn't take long at all to reacquaint ourselves with each other.  There are just certain people in your life that you have a connection with that is almost intimate.  A connection that can't be diminished by time or distance.  Those rare people are part of you, part of what defines you.

I felt almost guilty at my attraction to her.  I can tell she has the same reservations and the same attraction.  But Vicky can't forget anything, ever, it is always there in front of her, bright as day as if it had just occurred for her.  I know she would never act on her feelings because it would tear her apart thinking she is betraying Valla, betraying me.

If only she knew what she was doing to me, I mean she is so friggin hawt.  I'm embarrassed to say I've had to take care of myself on more than one occasion to work out my fantasies and sexual frustrations.

I sighed in resignation again.  If I can't have her that way, at least I can always have her by my side. I made sure that we were always touching in some way, sharing contact, letting her know that I was real and I was here.  Letting her know, I would always be there for her.

The past few weeks have been hard, like a sinister shadow was looming.  I didn't know who I was without Abbey.  She was going to leave the nest and I would be left wondering what to do with myself. Who was I?  Who was Mia Jacobs?  I had redefined myself twice in my life, once with Valla, and once with the joy of my life that was my baby girl.

Now I needed to discover who I was alone, without them.  I needed to define myself once again.  I didn't know if I was strong enough to do that again, I was so tired, damn, getting older was a bitch.  I looked over at blondie and smiled, but I would find the strength, especially with her by my side, I could do anything.  She was my... my Vicky.

I ignored the evil voice inside me whispering that I was a fool, that I was just a coward, that I was in love with her and just couldn't say it.  It was so different than what I had with Valla.  Nobody could ever replace my wife in my heart, but I had room to spare for a new and different love.  She put the newspaper down on the coffee table and I reached out with a finger and nudged it around until it lined up with the edge of the table.

I was knocked out of my thoughts when the girls came in the front door and we stood to meet them. I'm not too embarrassed to say that I squealed when we hugged.  There are few people in this world I don't feel uncomfortable with touching, a 'gift' of my OCD, but theses girls were definitely on my list. They were my children and my OCD didn't stand a chance against that.

I smiled warmly as they treated Vicky to the same greeting.  It amazed me how much she loved the girls.  It is a little weird I know, but when Abbey was born, it was almost as if she had three mothers instead of two.  Valla and I would have it no other way, we couldn't imagine our lives without the little blonde dynamo.  Vicky has always loved Abbey like a daughter, even from afar.  She never missed a birthday, Christmas, graduation without sending an appropriate gift that had tons of thought and insight to them.

I can see the mothering pride and joy in Vicky every time she looks at Abbey, and I know that Abbey, even though it has been such a short time, has accepted Victoria as a mother figure.  She can't remember her from when she was younger, but that connection is always there.  She loves her so much and that makes me extremely happy.

I really need to talk with Vicky and determine just what... we are.  I'm anything she needs me to be, anything she is comfortable with.  I know that she is far more fragile than she tries to project.  It has to be a terrible thing to have a mind that can never shut off... almost maddening.  I see that strain sometimes in her eyes and hope that I can help to alleviate it.  Sometimes in her sleep she is saying numbers, and names and other stuff, she can't even get peace when she slumbers.

After visiting a bit, we piled into the cars for their surprise,  the girls just wanted to sleep, but I implied that it would be a favor to Vicky if they ran this 'errand' with us.  I know, I fight dirty, Abs can never say no to Vic.  Go me!

We stopped for a quick meal at the XXX Rootbeer stand.  I really love that place, it is like an old time burger joint that was frozen in time decades ago.  I kept getting lost in my insecurities, wondering who I was, how I needed to redefine myself again, while I nudged Vicky's napkin so that it was even with the table edge, and lined the french fries up on another napkin, largest to smallest.  She blushed profusely when I fed her a french fry.  That was a good look on her, I'll have to do that more often.

Vicky nudged me with a concerned look and I just smiled at her and nudged back.  Then before long we had two blindfolded women in the back seat as Vickster navigated to their surprise.  I was stuck in ultra-giggle mode at their reaction to the house.  We knew they were disappointed that it was beyond their current means.

But we all also knew that neither of the girls would accept help from their parents even though we were all extremely well off.  However, in our little conspiracy, we also knew that if we gave the house to them as a wedding gift, they would insult the four of us if they declined.  Game, set, match!  Being evil is so very much fun.  Maybe I should come up with an evil laugh for times like this?  More mad scientist like than cackling witch I think.

June showed up, we had asked her if she wanted to be present when we sprang this on the girls, and she said, “No power in the 'verse could stop me.”  I rolled my eyes at the memory of the geek reference. Hey, don't judge, I like Firefly too.  There really aren't words to describe that young woman.  I've heard others say it, but she really was a force of nature and I was glad my girls associated themselves with people like June.

It was fun watching the excitement of the girls as they showed June around.  Kimi kept looking out the windows to the trees, toward the creek.  I grinned, she worked with Roberta in the outdoor gear and guided mountain tour business before she became a rock goddess.  She still helps out at Valentine's now that she is retired from the music industry.  You can take the girl out of nature, but you can never take nature out of the girl.

She convinced the girls to take them out to see the creek, leaving me on the upper deck standing next to the object of my affection.  Damn.

As I looked out over the property toward the sound of the creek, I took in Vicky's warmth and strength from our clasped hands.  I realized she was staring at me and I turned to her as she asked, “What is it Mi-Mi?  Something has been bothering you for weeks now.”  Crap, she was always too observant.  I guess it is hard to hide things from a certified genius.

I just shook my head slowly debating on whether I should share my recent insecurities. “It's nothing Vic.  I just...”  I thought a second and took a deep breath.  “I just don't know who I am anymore.”

She prompted with genuine concern, “What do you mean?”

I squeezed her hand then let it go and ran my hands through my hair in frustration and shrugged.  I missed the warmth of her touch so I reached out and grabbed her hand and just played with it while I determined the best way to describe my fears, and said, “It's s-s-tupid... in college, I lived for m-my relationship with Valla, I loved that woman... still love that woman beyond words.  Then after...” My heart hurt, I could still feel it like it had just happened.

I took another deep breath and continued, “Well then I dedicated m-m-my life to making sure Abbey had the best life I could give her, a happy life, a full life.”  I remember my promise to Valla on her death bed, it was a promise I was happy to keep.

I looked back to the path that Abbey and the others disappeared down.  “But now our baby is all grown up and moving out.  I don't... I don't know what to do now.  I don't know who I am without her.  I'm... glad you are here.”  I laced our fingers and thought of my verbal slip.  I did feel as if Abbey were Vicky's baby too.

Vicky said strongly, with surety I didn't feel, her words coming out at warp speed, “You're who you have always been Mia.  A woman with more strength, more love, more creativity than anyone I have ever known.  You weren't living for Abbey, you were showing her your strength, giving her an example to aspire to.  You give so much of yourself to the people around you because that is who you are, it makes you stronger, and that strength defines you.  It is what made me fall in love with you and...”

My heart stopped.  I don't know if she meant to make an admission, but the joy in my heart was threatening to burst, I couldn't have stopped myself even if I had wanted to, and I didn't.  I captured her lips with mine to stop her babbling.  She wasn't the only one in love.

It was heaven, I was heating up in all the best places as she returned the kiss.  But then she was pushing me away, there was a combination of fear and lust in eyes that were tearing up.  She was desperately whispering, “No no no... I can't do that to you...”  Then before I could stop her, and let her know it was okay, that I loved her too, she was running back into the house and down the stairs.  Oh God!  What had I done?  She's running again!

I ran after her, but I was too late, she was already outside and pulling away in the car.  I collapsed on the lawn bawling.  The other women came back out out of the trees on the trail and saw me then ran to my side. Abbey was looking around frantically as she knelt in front of me, pulling me into a hug, “Mom, what's wrong?  Where's Vicky?”

My shoulder twitched involuntarily to my cheek as I blurted, “Fucked up!”  It had been over three years since my last Turrets episode.  I didn't need this now!  My shoulder twitched up brushing my cheek again, blurting, “Fucked things up!”  I just sat there crying in my daughter's arms, shoulder spasming to my face and blurting out things about my screw up.  Nobody said a word as I weathered the episode.  “Fucked up.”

Chapter 12 – Vicky!?

It was almost eleven at night,  Leighton and I had just got Brandon settled in his crib and settled ourselves into bed when my mobile rang.  I glanced at it on the nightstand, already deciding to let it go to voicemail but then seeing Vicky's name blazing away on it.

I grinned and snatched it up and answered, “Vicky!?  To what do I owe the pleasure?”

She answered in a voice full of pain, it was strained and horse, “Candice...”  Then I heard the sound of screeching tires a tremendous crunching sound.

I sprang up in bed.  “Bloody hell!” I was almost screaming in the mobile, “Vicky!?  Vicky are you there?!”  The line went dead.

Leigh was by my side and holding me as I stared at the mobile in horror.  “What is it hon?  What's wrong?”

I looked at him in panic, my eyes brimming with tears, “It's Victoria.  I think she's been in an accident.”  Then I jumped up and ran to the living room and grabbed my purse off the side table by the front door of the condo, with Leigh right behind me.  I grabbed my little address book, I don't know why I'm so old fashioned I keep this thing around.

I was frantically flipping pages while my husband was trying to calm my panic, I couldn't read anything through my tears.  I threw the book down on the floor and yelled, “Bloody hell!”  Leigh shushed me and ran his fingers through my hair trying to get me to settle down a bit.

He leaned down and picked up the address book. “What were you looking for love?”

I closed my eyes tightly and forced myself to breathe.  “Mia... Mia Jacobs' number.”  I opened my eyes and he smiled sadly at me and nodded once as he looked up the number.

I was whispering to him, “If something has happened to Vicky... she's my best friend.”

He smiled and nodded. “I know love.”

I shook my head at him. “No, it's more than that.  You don't understand.  She's the first person in my life to see me as... me.  She kind of saved me from a life of mediocrity.  I saw myself like everyone else did, the mouse girl.  She showed me that I had more strength than I knew and encouraged me to be who I was and not what everyone expected from me.  I found you because of her.  She's more than simply a best friend Leighton... she's... she's Vicky.”

He nodded in understanding, I knew he could grasp part of what I was saying.  Vicky had given me the greatest gift of all, my sense of self-worth.  I shoved all of that aside, my best friend could be hurt right now.  I held up my mobile in a pleading gesture and he gave me a soft smile and read the number to me.  A frantic woman's voice answered on the first ring, “Vicky?!”

I was shaking my head as I replied, “No... this is Candice Birch.  Victoria's friend.”

She was quick to reply in a stuttering voice, “I know who y-y-you are.  Have y-you heard from Vicky?  Sh-she... she ran... again.”  If things weren't so dire at the moment, I would have smiled at her voice. Vicky had described her nervous stuttering to me on many occasions and it was just as I had imagined.

I replied quickly, “She just called.  I think... I think she's been in some sort of motorcar accident.  I heard a crash.”  I thought the line had gone dead for a minute as I was met by extreme silence for a number of seconds.

Then she whispered, “Do you know where?”

I shook my head in helplessness to myself as I said, “No.”

I heard her take a deep breath and suddenly her voice was clear and strong, not a hint of a stutter was evident. “Ok, I'll find her.  I'll keep in touch with you.”

I nodded, tearing up again, marveling at the strength of conviction in the woman's tone,  “Okay.  I'm on my way.”

We said our goodbyes and rang off.  I turned to find Leighton gone.  I walked quickly into our bedroom and he was already packing our carry-on bags.  God do I love this man.  I grabbed our passports from the firebox safe while he bought tickets online, and we packed the diaper bag and got Brandon into a stroller then were out the door in minutes, headed for Heathrow.

Leigh drove, I just stared at my mobile the whole way there.  It had been an hour and still no word. This must be what a panic attack feels like.  I was trying to breathe, marveling at how calm my husband was.  I knew he loved Victoria too, she had helped him gain confidence in his abilities when she tutored him at Oxford, it helped him become a successful accountant and we lived well because of it.  Plus she helped us find each other.

My mobile rang and I answered instantly, “Mia?”  I listened for a minute then whispered in a wavering voice. “Bloody hell, I understand.  I'll be there in ten hours.”  Then we rang off.

I looked over at my husband and he shot me a concerned glance.  I didn't want to say it because that would make it real.  “She's at the hospital, in the intensive care unit in critical condition.  She suffered a heart attack and wrecked her vehicle.”

He pursed his lips and nodded once and reached his free hand out to grasp my hand as I started crying again.  I felt helpless.  I was exhausted but couldn't sleep a wink on the hop over the pond.  Brandon was fussy the whole way.  I was too worried about my best friend.  What had happened?  Why did she run again?  She had finally gone home.

For how spectacularly amazing that woman was, and for all the strength and confidence she seemed to exude from her hyperactive exterior.  A small, fragile, emotional child hid inside.  I have seen her on the edge of an emotional and psychological break many times.  I can't imagine the torment she is constantly in, with her mind constantly in motion, unable to stop, unable to prevent herself from remembering all the things that bring her such emotional pain.

There was one fact I know about Vicky, the one fact that has haunted her for the twenty years I have known her. That is that she has always been one hundred percent in love with Mia and Vee Jacobs, and that is the source of all her pain.

Once we landed at the SeaTac airport, we had to stand in the bloody customs queue.  I called Mia, but a younger voice answered, she sounded a lot like Mia.  It was Mia's daughter, Abbey.  It was two AM here and they didn't have any more information yet, she was still unconscious and now in surgery for them to work on her left hand that was crushed in the wreck, now that they had her heart stabilized.

She said that a woman named Kim would be meeting us outside of the security area and that we couldn't miss her, she was an almost six foot tall Native American woman in a bright red shirt who had a commanding presence.  She gave me Kim's number in case we missed each other.

As soon as we got through customs, we hustled down the concourse and out of the security area. My eyes scanned around quickly and stopped on a woman in red who looked like an exotic statuesque goddess carved from stone.  Her face was an emotionless mask as she divided her attention between signing autographs and watching the people coming from the concourse.  I almost gasped as I realized she was Kimi Solomon from Satin Thunder!  Bloody hell!

Her intelligent eyes snapped to mine and she cocked her head slightly.  I nodded in acknowledgment and then her emotionless face broke into a dazzling smile as she excused herself from the people mobbing her as she took three long strides and snagged my carry-on from me as she offered a hand.  “Candice?”  I shook her hand, then she looked over and nodded once at Leigh, who nodded back as he pushed the baby stroller.  All the emotion drained from her face as she started leading us out to the parking structure.  “I'm Kim.  Mia sent me to get you.”

I just nodded stupidly at her back like a bloody git.  Then asked even thought I had just spoken to Abbey, “Any news?”

She just sadly shook her head as she loaded us and our bags into a rustic Jeep, pulling a child seat out of the back to place in the back seat.  “Nothing yet.  She's in bad shape, but Vicky is stronger than most people realize.”

I smiled at the insightful woman and almost whispered, “Yes... but a lot more fragile too.”

It didn't surprise me when she nodded solemnly in agreement, Kimi didn't seem the type to miss anything.  Leigh reached a hand forward from the back seat to give my shoulder a squeeze, I laid my hand on his and we sat that way in silence until we pulled into the hospital car park.

As we approached the main door, I saw four worried looking women standing there.  One could never be mistaken for anyone else in this world, with those beautiful tattoo covered burn scars all down her right side.  I'd seen her picture enough on so many album covers, Kim's wife,  Skylar Roth!  Then a small blonde woman with a lock of pink hair that reminded me a lot of Vicky gave Kim a frightened, almost desperate hug.

I paused in shock when I turned to the third woman, I blinked a few times.  She looked almost exactly like the woman in Vicky's most-precious belonging, her picture of herself with Mia and Vee.  I have seen the picture almost every day the past twenty years.  This must be Mia and Vee's daughter, Abbey.  The resemblance to Vee was more than spooky.

Introductions were quickly made, I learned the fourth woman was June, as we all made our way down the hall to the lifts.  We went to the second floor and over to the waiting room by the operating suites. Sitting in the chairs were Vicky's parents who stood quickly and just hugged me before sitting back down, Maira started fawning over Brandon though her face was creased in worry.

There was a woman in there, pacing, and seemingly counting her steps as her lips moved slightly.  I knew exactly who this beautiful woman was, with her black hair, with the slightest hint of grey strands infiltrating it, spilling over her shoulders and these piercing green eyes that seemed to look right through me as she stopped and looked up at us.  Her eyes were red just like her cheeks from crying.

She didn't say a word as she stepped up to me and pulled me into a tight hug that almost took my breath away.  “Candice,” she said.

I nodded and stared almost in awe of Victoria's mythical creature.  The person I knew so much about yet knew nothing.  This was the woman that Vicky was in love with and I saw a dichotomy of vulnerability and strength in the woman as I said, “Mia.”

Then I introduced her to Leigh and my son.  She filled us in.  “She was... ummm... running.  It w-was my fault. She suffered a heart attack on the road and ran into a p-pole.  They were able to get her heart stabilized. The EMTs had recognized the symptoms and started treatment right away, the doctors say that's what saved her.”  Her voice wavered.  “They believe she will pull through,  she broke her left arm and crushed her left hand.  They have b-been operating for two hours now on it, they are worried that if they don't act now, she may lose circulation in it and lose some fingers.”

Abbey wrapped an arm over her shoulders protectively as her voice caught.  Then we all sat down in silence as we waited to hear from the doctors.  I was beyond tired.  I felt the corners of my mouth twitch up in a smile when I saw Mia absently nudging the magazines on the table between the chairs with her finger.  Straightening them out in the manner Victoria had lovingly described to me on many occasions.

I took the time to study the woman as we waited and Leighton held my hand.  I couldn't help but see each detail, no matter how small, that Vicky had described.  It was amazing how accurate all of her descriptions were.  My heart ached a little for the woman as I saw that shadow in her intelligent eyes that Vicky had described almost too accurately.  There was a pain there that would never fade, the pain of the loss of her wife, but I saw another pain in there too.  I could see that she wasn't just worried about Victoria, she was in love with my friend and she was terrified to relive what she had gone through with Vee.

I decided then and there that she was worthy of my friend and that I truly liked this woman sitting in front of me.

Chapter 13 – Memories

I almost jumped out of my chair when the surgeon walked into the room.  His blue scrubs were covered in blood and he was taking the paper cap off his head to let his hair down.  I blurted, “H-how is she?”

The man almost ignored me as he looked over to Frank and Maira.  “They are wheeling her out to recovery now and...”

Frank's eyes were hard as he spoke firmly to the man, “Don't ignore her, Ms. Jacobs has my daughter's power of attorney and all medical decisions go through her.”  Gawd I loved Frank like he was my own father.  I can still remember my father from before the accident that took him from me and Frank has a lot of the same qualities.

The surgeon looked between us then turned to me in half apology, half... I knew that look and hated it.  Judgment.  He said with a little distaste in his voice, “My apologies, I'm not used to, ummm unconventional pairings.  Your ummm... life partner is being wheeled out to recovery.  Things went well, we won't know for sure until she is conscious, but I think we saved the hand without much nerve damage.”

I glared at the man.  A large part of me was relieved that Vicky seemed out of danger now, and another part of me that Valla had taught to never be a victim and stand strong said, “Th-thank you.  Not that it is any of your b-business but she isn't my wife, but if she were, she wouldn't appreciate your dismissive attitude nor your judgment of our lifestyle either.”

He took a long hard look at me then everyone else in the room, who had similar looks as me on their faces.  He seemed to think about it for a moment and his head slightly nodded when he came to some sort of decision with himself.  “You're right, I'm sorry ma'am.  It's just been a long night, I'm sure it has been even longer for you.”

I just nodded and he added, “They should be moving her back into her room within the hour, say four AM, then you can see her.  We don't know when she'll regain consciousness though, she has a concussion and we've had to keep her in a medically induced coma to prevent brain swelling.  But from everything I've seen, it all looks promising.”

I nodded.  “Thank you doctor.”  He nodded back and left and I started silently crying again, this time in relief as my daughter pulled me to her shoulder.  I looked over and Sammie looked to be in as bad a shape as I was, so I held a hand out to her and the joined in the hug with us.

I released the girls, took a deep breath, and straightened myself up.  I would be strong for Victoria. I looked over at Frank and said, “Thank you for that.”

He just nodded with a hard look toward the door and the smile of a shark.  “Hey, you're one of my girls, nobody treats my girls that way.”

Maira grinned evilly and added, “Damn straight.”

I smiled again and said, “I love you two.”

Maira's smile softened as she replied, “And we love you like a daughter Mia.”

I looked around, everyone looked beat.  June offered, “Cafeteria?  Coffee?”  This got muttered replies of agreement and we all shuffled out.  I reached over and grabbed Candice's hand as she passed and gave it a quick squeeze and let go.  She gave me an appreciative smile.  I followed our little procession with a hyperactive blonde beauty on my mind.

We all settled in the far corner of the almost deserted cafeteria with a pot of freshly brewed coffee in silence as everyone sipped their coffee.  Candi and Maira excused themselves to go change Brandon's diaper.  When they returned, June looked around and then started talking, “Before she returned to Seattle, I had only known Victoria by reputation.  Not only is she one of the most sought after international business consultants, but my mother shared a story about her with me once.”

She smiled and tilted her head in memory, then she winked over at Skylar.  “Mom was looking for someone who could sing with enough emotion to sing one of her songs for her anniversary with mother.  So she organized the first Karaoke Queen competition to that end.”  This got matching grins from the Davenports and Skylar and Kim.

She grinned in mischief. “The competition was full but Frank here, my mom's attorney, had called mom, telling her that his daughter, Vicky, had found the person she was looking for, in London.  Mom told him that the competition was full up.  When he told Victoria that, she wouldn't let it drop and told him that he didn't understand, that this was the person that Mandy needed for her song.  She found the girl she was speaking about again and took a video of her singing in some seedy backstreet karaoke bar.”

Her mischievous grin turned a little more smug if possible as she looked around.  “She insisted that he show mom the video that 'If Mandy sees this she will agree.'  So Frank sent the video.  Mom says her exact words when she saw Skylar Roth singing a cover of Oceans of Blue on that video was 'Holy shit on a cracker.  She's going to sing my song.'  So she reached out to get Skylar to the States.”

She exhaled and relaxed. “So in effect...” she looked between Skylar and Kimi, “...it was because of Victoria's insightfulness, and habit of not taking no for an answer, that resulted in the world getting one of the most influential bands of all time, Satin Thunder, and Kim and Sky finding their true loves in each other.”

Skylar took it up from there.  “Back then I was so bloody terrified of showing people my burns, my disfigurement, my shame.  I hid myself away and hid the burns under my clothes and behind my hair.  But the music drove me, besides my baby girl, it was the only thing that gave me peace.”

I didn't miss Kim's hand discretely capture Sky's.  She shyly smiled fondly at her as she continued, “I ghosted as many Karaoke bars as I could, and even did a few amateur nights in bars to sing my own songs.  One night, I had just finished a cover of a Miranda Keys number when this tiny blonde woman came to my table in the shadowed back corner and just sat down and started yammering at me like we were in the middle of a conversation.”

She was grinning now.  “She said at quite possibly warp speed, 'So this Karaoke Queen competition is like right down your alley.  Hmmm is it alley like alley cat or bowling alley?  Oh, I'd so make an awesome bowler!  Bowling alley makes more sense, though I do love cats.'   My first reaction would have been to call the loony bin to let them know I found an escaped patient if it weren't for her eyes. Those ice blues had a hard intelligence I had never seen before.  They seemed to be scanning me, flicking all over and taking everything in.”

Her eyes softened as she spoke, “Then she gave me this silly grin and said slower, 'Sorry, I'm a little excitable sometimes.  Victoria, Victoria Davenport.' She shook my hand.” This got almost everyone to snort.  That was Vicky.

Then she got lost in the memory, “She looked directly at the right side of my face like she could see under my hair and said, 'You shouldn't hide your scars you know.  You're a flippin' beautiful person.'  I didn't know what to say, a Yank stranger just coming out and saying that.  She didn't strike me as a bloody git.  Then she just said, 'So what about it?  Entering the competition or what?' like we had been in some sort of discussion about it.  She wouldn't take no as an answer.  I finally caved and she somehow, in the next couple days, arranged for me to compete in Karaoke Queen, where I met my Flower.  I never saw Victoria again until just recently.  She was like my fairy godmother.”

The look Skylar shot Kim was so full of love it was almost tangible in the air.  Maira was smiling as she started speaking, “That's my girl. I remember back when she was six, she was always getting in trouble in class, calling the teacher out on any mistakes he made. Recalling every detail of lessons like she was reading them from a book, explaining what the teacher said then explaining what the text book said down to what page, paragraph and line number it was on.”

She pursed her lips.  “The school district wanted us to put her in a school for the gifted or advance her a few grades, Frank violently disagreed.  He wanted her not to miss out on the social interactions a normal child would have.  We both believe that is half of growing up, learning isn't just books and facts, there has to be an emotional aspect to make a balanced individual.”

Maira grinned. “Vicky started tutoring all the kids in her class.  Unheard of in grade school.  She befriended the outcasts and outsmarted the bullies.  She was popular with almost everyone in her school except her teachers.  She has always looked out for others to a fault.  Kids started realizing this and took advantage of her generosity and the jealousy of her intelligence started.  The bullies seized on this and the relentless teasing began.  It always seemed to just roll off her back, but I could see her pulling back from personal connections.  Things happened after that.  Things I'm not proud of to this day.  But she never seemed to make any friends anymore.  All of her smiles seemed faked.”

She looked straight at me, locking eyes for a moment and a soft smile returned to her lips.  “That is until her freshman year in college.  She seemed almost giddy in our phone conversations that she had found some people she could see as lifelong friends.  She would never stop talking about these mysterious Vee and Mia girls.  Then one day, she brought them home with her.  I never have in my life seen three friends so close together.  They made my baby so very happy and my girl was smiling genuinely again.  I quickly grew to love those two girls like my own children.”  Maira reached over and grasped my hand in thanks.  I smiled at her through watery eyes.

I nodded and then said, “My first meeting with Vicky was almost surreal.  My first impression of her was a stereotypical ditsy blonde.  She was so hyperactive and off on a million tangents.  But then I got a chance to sit down and speak with her the following day.  I was shocked at her intelligence.  I swear that to this day, I have never met another person as smart as Victoria Davenport.  That girl is so amazing.  She quickly became part of my unconventional family.”

I smiled in memory. “I spent most of my life floating through the foster system, I didn't really connect with very many people because of my afflictions.  There was only one couple from the dozens of foster parents that seemed to even genuinely care.  But then I met my Valla and my Vicky.  And I built a family around them.  Frank and Maira were so accepting of us and I felt my family growing. Then Abbey came along...”

I smiled at the light of my life and my baby girl blushed.  “... my second miracle.  It is really hard to define what we had with Vicky.  Both Valla and I really felt as if Vicky were Abbey's third mother.  It never struck us as strange.  Now after she has returned from London, I think I finally see.  I think on some level, I was always in love with her.  Now I know it... and this accident scares the hell out of me. It was almost as if I were reliving what had happened to my wife all over again and I don't think my heart can take that again.  I know I should feel I am betraying Valla, and a tiny piece of me does, but I know as a fact that Valla would be happy that it is with Vicky that I found happiness again.  Vic isn't replacing her, it is just something... new.”

I looked over at Frank and Maira and lowered my eyes. “Frank, Maira, I'm sorry but I think I'm in love with your daughter.”  Then I gacked out a “Gleep!” as Maira gave me a death hug.

She whispered, “You two are the densest and slowest daughters we have.  It is about time you admit it.”  I looked around and everyone was nodding like it was common sense.  Oh Gawd, I just wanted to blush away into a hole somewhere.

I hit a count in my head and I stood up quickly. “It's four.”  It was like watching a sea of lemmings as everyone except my Abbey swept their gaze to the clock on the wall behind me.  Abbey just had a self-satisfied smirk on her face.  I knew she was just silently chiding me with our ages old joke about clocks being jealous of my internal timer.

We all made our way down the hall and into the elevator.  Then we made our way to Vicky's room just to be stopped by a doctor at the door.  The silver-haired, pleasantly plump lady with the bifocal spectacles said, “Sorry.  She just woke up, but  she needs her rest, we just administered a sedative and she will be out again in a few minutes.  I can only let one or two of you in.  Normal visiting hours start at eight.”

We all looked around, everyone was looking at me.  I swallowed then grabbed Maira's hand and dragged her into her daughter's room with me.  I know how I would feel if it were Abbey in there.  The look of relief on her face told me I did the right thing.

Vicky looked over at us in a drug induced haze and she smiled then cast her eyes down in shame.  I let Maira go to her first.  I looked at Vicky as her mother took her good hand and raised it to kiss the back of it, mumbling, “Hey baby.”

My soul ached as I looked at the battered blonde.  She was all bruised up and with that pink cast on her left arm, she looked so much like she did after we were attacked at the Steam Plant Club back in college in that hate crime.  So fragile.  My stomach was turning in knots seeing her like this.  They spoke for a minute, Vicky was mostly out of it.  Then Maira looked at me and told Vicky goodbye and she stopped beside me and said, “I'll get everyone out there situated.  We'll get them back here for normal visiting hours.”

I nodded and handed her my keys. “Thank you.  Have Abbey set Candice, Leighton and the baby up at my place.”  She nodded and kissed me on the cheek and left me with a groggy Victoria.

I pulled up a chair beside her.  She wouldn't look at me until I grabbed her hand and laced our fingers.  I marveled again at how perfectly our hands fit together.  I stroked her matted blonde locks with my other hand and she looked over at me.  I smiled warmly and whispered, “Hi.”

It looked like she smiled against her will and she said, “Hi.”.  Her eyelids were drooping and it looked like she was fighting the drugs, but they were winning as she kept closing her eyes.

I kissed her cheek and said softly, “You had me scared Vic.  Get some sleep, then we can talk about me being in love with your hyper-blonde ass.”

She smiled and drifted off into a restless sleep.  Something about our hands touching was draining away all the anxiety in me.  I glanced over to her left hand, it was wrapped in dozens of layers of gauze.  I just sat there, holding her hand and watching her breathe, counting each breath.  I drifted off myself around one thousand and four.

Chapter 14 – Waking Up

I floated in a hazy world of jumbled thoughts.  I recognized it, my thoughts were always laser focused unless I was drunk or drugged.  I used to get blindingly drunk just to shut out the thoughts and voices.  But there were a few times in my life that I had drugs in my system that impaired my cognitive processes.  Like the time at the hospital after I was beat with a bat at the Steam Plant, or the time at the institute where the psychologists tried drugs to quiet my mind.  I was reduced to a zombie vegetable. Oh, I'd so make an awesome zombie!  Brainz!

So I knew this was like one of those times.  I tried to piece things together, did I have a break, was I back in the ward?  No, there was something about an accident.  Yes!  That was it I was in a car crash.  I was... oh god... I was running again.  I was... wait, so I remember Mia being here with me?  Normally I can recall every moment of my life with the exception of the times I passed out drunk or was drugged like this.

I tried to rewind my memories, it was a confusing blur and flashes of clarity.  I kept getting distracted by the pain in my left hand.  Wait, right there!  I rewound again.  There was Mia's face, creased with worry.  There was something attached to the memory. Ahh, there it was, the warmth of her hand in mine, she had been beside me in my hospital room.  She said something.  The words tried to form themselves in my head.  It was almost like I was resisting rebuilding them.  Then my mind heated up as I made out the words.  “...in love with your hyper-blonde ass”  She loves my ass?  Damn, I'm jealous of my ass.  Wait, come on brain think, this means something.  Oh, my ass is connected to me... did she love... me?

This thought filled me with warmth and I let this fuzzy cloud I was in take me from this half-consciousness.  I felt myself smile as sleep took me fully again.

A while later I awoke and my mind was much clearer now and the voices and dozens of lines of thought started up again.  I was acutely aware of the heat in my right hand and a weight on my stomach.  I looked down and smiled fondly.  Mia was sound asleep in a chair beside my hospital bed with her head on me.  I grinned at the hair in her mouth.

I just took in her warmth.  Everything came rushing back.  Oh shit.  I remembered it all.  My shame and... did I have a heart attack?  I remembered some of my mom's papers that laid out how sudden and severe stress can induce a heart attack in an otherwise healthy person.  Oh Gawd, I was one of those statistics now.

I don't know how I'll be able to face Mia again, but I don't know how I could escape her laying in a hospital bed like this.  Then her words before I lost consciousness last night crystallized like she had just spoken the words.  She... she's in love with me?  But... there was no shame in her voice.  I still felt like I was betraying Vee for secretly loving them from afar.

But she had said it.  I played it over and over in my head.  Then I realized I couldn't feel the pressure on my stomach anymore. I glanced down just to have my eyes and soul captured by those sparkling emerald eyes of hers.  She was smiling broadly.  She said cutely, “Hey girl.”

I blushed and looked down. “Hey.”

Her eyes narrowed a bit and her smile faded a bit as she said hoarsely, “Don't you ever do that to me again, you understand?  I thought I had lost you!  I- I can't ever go through that again.”  Her eyes were brimming with tears.

My shame doubled and I dropped my eyes.  “I'm sorry Mia.  I just... Vee... you were...”

She placed her fingers over my lips to stop me.  “Vickster, slow down, breathe, you're in 'incomplete sentence' mode.”  Then she removed her hand and added, “We'll talk seriously about this, but not now.  Not until we get you home.”

I closed my eyes and nodded.  A reprieve.  I didn't think I could face her like that, laying in that hospital bed.  My mind drifted to the memory of seeing her in a similar hospital bed after she had shielded me with her own body, from a beating from some bigots with a bat were subjecting me to. When I woke up in the hospital and they told me what happened, it broke my heart when I walked into her room to see her bandaged and bruised.

We had matching casts.  I opened my eyes and looked over at my cast and almost snorted, it was pink like the one I got back then.  Hey, don't judge I like pink.  I was sort of a girly girl back then. Whatever, I'm still sort of a girly girl.

I looked up to meet Mia's gaze again.  She nudged her eyes toward the cast and I squinted at it.  This brought a giggle from her lips that did naughty things to me.  Her hand was suddenly in front of my face, holding my reading glasses out for me.

I looked at the cast and didn't see anything.  Then I scrunched up my nose at her and twisted my aching arm. Damn my hand hurts.  And there on the underside, copied right down to my writing was a duplicate of the message I had written on her cast back then in a plethora of little hearts. “'Get better soon Vic, the 'lez-migos' miss you!  Mia Jacobs,”  followed by a bunch of Xs and Os.  I think I actually snorted.  Fine, I know I snorted, I don't need to play it back.

I grinned and rolled my eyes at her and she had a cute imperious look on her face as she said, “Payback wench.”

I got quiet suddenly and looked at her pleadingly. “I really am sorry Mia.”

Before she could say anything, there was a knocking at my door accompanied by my father's deep baritone saying “Knock knock.”  I looked over to see him and mom standing at the door.  I couldn't stop a smile.  They joined us at the side of the bed.  Mia relinquished my hand so mom could grab it, she had tears brimming in her eyes and my shame returned again.

Dad looked at Mia and rested a hand on her shoulder.  “You look exhausted, you should have gone home last night.”  Mia just shook her head and dad smiled down at her then said, “They are only allowing her two visitors at a time.  Why don't you go out and fill the others in and get something to eat?”

Mia nodded with a sad smile and started toward the door but then stopped and turned back toward me with that look on her face that meant she had a million thoughts going through her head, then she ran the three steps back to me and kissed my forehead softly and then she ran out of the room.

My parents visited with me for a few minutes, ignoring the fact that I was in a hospital bed.  Then finally mom asked, “You're aware of your condition?  How much did Mia tell you?”

I shrugged and replied, “I had just woke up a minute before you arrived.  She didn't get a chance to tell me anything.”  I looked at my wrapped hand and tried to flex my fingers but was only rewarded with sharp searing pain.  “It isn't good is it?”

Dad just stroked my hair as mom spoke, part of my heart warmed, listening to mom in doctor-mode.  It still saddened me that she sacrificed her career to take care of her freak daughter all those years ago.  I have the best mom ever.  A tiny piece of me wanted to say, “I'd so make an awesome mom.”  but I knew it was just about too late for me to have a dream like that.

She explained that I had suffered a myocardial infarction that may have damaged my heart.  They won't know for sure until my followup exams.  I don't exhibit any of the common markers that would indicate I was at risk of heart attacks so they believed it to be stress induced.  My hand suffered fractures to some of my distal, intermediate, and proximal phalanges.  They had to pin a couple metacarpals.

The tissue damage wasn't too bad though a few tendons were stressed and nicked.  They won't know if I suffered any nerve damage until they could examine me more thoroughly now that I was conscious.  I suffered a hairline fracture to my skull and had a concussion; which explains my headache.  There are heavy bruises across my chest from the seat belt, and I have bruising and friction burns on my face where I tried to eat my airbag like an over-sized marshmallow.  Oh hey, that Stay Puff marshmallow monster from Ghost Busters could munch on it like... oh, sorry.

After they get a chance to examine me again, they will probably want to put a twenty-four hour hold to make sure there are no complications before they release me.

Dad shared with us that my car was totaled.  Which for some reason concerned me more than my own condition.  Maybe because it is one of my last reminders of happier times.  From back in college with Valhalla and Mia.  Then I come back home and manage not only to ruin my friendship with Mia, but destroy one of my last memories as well.

After a couple minutes of chatting and just ignoring the elephant in the room, my parents left to give others a chance to visit.  Mom kissed my forehead and dad gave me a careful hug.

I wasn't prepared for who walked in next.  My face felt like it was going to break, my smile was so big.  “Bloody hell!  Candi?  Leigh?  Oh my god, what are you doing here?”

Leighton stood beside the bed and Candi engulfed me in a careful hug then put on her chastising mother look as she said, “What are we doing here?  Really Vicky?  You call me in the middle of the bloody night and I hear you get into a wreck and you wonder why we're here?”  She cocked an eyebrow.  Damn, she really wants me to answer, but what is the question?  I dropped my eyes in shame and embarrassment again.  If I keep this up I'm going to have to rent space in a blush world, where Candi used to rule as queen.

I tried out an “I'm sorry?”, tilting my head and squinting an eye.

She crossed her arms across her chest and said, “Is that a question?  You're bloody right you're sorry you silly bird!”

I exhaled, good, I picked the right thing. I shot her my silliest grin and she slapped my shoulder lightly.  “Don't get cheeky now lady, you haven't earned it yet.”  Then her dour expression faltered a bit as a tiny smile broke through on her lips.  She rolled her eyes at her own failure and she placed a hand on my shoulder.  “You gave us a scare.  I'm so glad you are okay.”

I bent my good arm up and laid my hand over hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I really am sorry Candi.”

She nodded in thought as she said absently, “I know you are hon.”  Then she pursed her lips.  “You were running again weren't you?”

I closed my eyes and nodded once.  She shook her head.  “You are stronger than that woman.  From what I have seen, you have nothing to be running from.  That Mia looks to have enough strength for both of you.  She seems to be an amazing woman, and from what I have seen so far, she is over the moon for you.”

I was a little shocked at that.  I turned my full gaze to my best friend. “You... you think?”

She shared and excited grin and bobbled her head smugly as she replied, “Quite.”

Then she reached down into the stroller in front of Leighton and picked up a precious baby boy for me to see.  I let the little guy play with my fingers as I beamed at my godson.  “My god Candice, he's beautiful.”  She grinned like a proud mother should.

We spoke for a few minutes, just catching up with their lives.  Then they glanced at the clock and Leighton said, “We better let someone else visit a bit.”

They gave me hugs and then left.  A minute later I was looking down in shame again as Abbey and Sammie walked in.  Abbey's eyes were welling with tears.  She pulled me into a tight hug.  “Ow, ow, ow!”

She let go quickly.  “Oh, I'm so sorry!”

I shook my head with a small smile and replied, “It's okay.  Just a little tender here.”

Then she slapped my shoulder in reprimand.  “What the hell were you thinking?  I can't... I can't lose another mom.”

I stopped breathing.  I looked at her, she looked scared and angry.  I reached out and grabbed her hand.  “I'm sorry baby.  I just... I didn't... I...”

She just shook her head at me as a smile played at the corners of her mouth.  Then she said forcefully, “You and mom need to talk if I have to sit on both of you until you do.  Understand?”

I couldn't stop the smile on my face as I capitulated. “Yes  ma'am.  You have no idea how much you just sounded like Vee just then.”

This caused her to blush.  She moved to the head of the bed and ran her fingers through my hair as Sammi gave me a timid hug and added with the timing of the comic gods that she got from her adoptive mother, Kim,  “What she said.”

We all chuckled a little and I grabbed Samantha's hand and looked between the girls.  “Okay, I promise.  I love you two like my own I hope you know.”

Their eyes were a little watery as they nodded and Abbey spoke, “That feeling goes both ways G-mom.  You better know that...”

Mia came walking in and we all smiled at each other.  The girls gave me smiles and started out the room when the doctor and a nurse came in.  The girls scooted away twice as fast as Mia stood back while the doctor introduced himself.

He was a gangly scarecrow of a man with a kind face that was weathered with worry lines that stood out on his dark African American features.  If I were to see him out in the world, I would have called him grandfatherly.  His bass voice was soothing as he said, “Ms. Davenport, good to see you awake.”  He smiled a little.  “You had us a tad worried for a bit.  I'm Dr. Neil Havermore.  Let's take a look at you.  I'll make this as quick as possible.  Did you need to use the bathroom or anything before we begin?”

I looked at him as I realized I really had to go.  “I can get up?”

He nodded. “We actually encourage it.”

I started to try to sit up and my chest ached more than my head and hand.  Mia was magically by my side helping me slide out of bed.  She looped my IV line onto the rolling IV tree and she helped me hobble to the room's bathroom.  Gawd, I felt like a git... I mean a fool.  It was like I was three gadzillion years old the way I shuffled to prevent the stabbing pains.

Then she stood by the door as I made my way in and she asked, “Need any help?”

I winked at her. “No, but thanks.  I've been peeing most of my natural life and I'm pretty much a professional now.  I could join the peeing Olympics or something.  Oh!  I would so make an awesome athlete!”

She just rolled her eyes cutely and closed the door on me in response.  I just said through the door, “You're just jealous.”

She didn't miss a beat as she shot back, “You got me, that's it, jealous of your bodily functions.”

I just grinned at her playfulness and did my thing, in slow motion.  I felt almost helpless, every way I moved something hurt or ached.  It was nothing less than I deserved though.  I looked at my left arm wondering how long my hand would be wrapped or if I'd have full use of it.  If it weren't for the fact I was in a hospital gown, it would have been hard to do this all one handed.  Zippers would be especially hard.

I washed my one hand the best I could without the other one to help then made my way back out. Mia hadn't moved an inch.  She took my elbow again and led me back to the bed.  The doctor and nurse took me from her and assisted me back into the bed.

Then the doc looked over at Mia and she nodded and started walking out.  I blurted out, “Can she stay?  Please?”

The doc looked between us then said, “Not a problem.”  Then Mia smiled in thanks and stood out of the way where I could see her smiling but worried face.

There were lots of poking prodding, blood pressure-ing, questioning, and looking under bandages.  They did some sort of ultrasound on my chest, the doc took a long time looking at my heart.  Satisfied with that, he moved over to my left hand and unwrapped one of Frankenstein's creations.

Three of my fingers were splinted and there were stitches and bruises everywhere.  Some mangled looking areas with swelling I was informed would fade that's where they had to pin my bones.  He was all pokey with a pokey device I shall call Torture-Device-One.  It hurt.

When he was all done he cleaned the sutures and then re-wrapped the hand and said, “That's looking good.  There may be some nerve damage but so far it looks good, we'll know more as you heal.”  I nodded, scared for the first time that I may have done some irreparable damage to myself.

Mia was now by my side asking, “Wh-what do I need to know about caring f-f-for her when I get her home?”  I blushed.  Why the hell was I blushing, oh yeah, my angel wanted to take care of me.

He smiled at her and placed a huge hand on her shoulder.  “We'll have detailed instructions for you when she is discharged tomorrow.”  She nodded at him and looked down at me.

The doctor excused himself and the nurse followed.  There was a light knocking at the door and we looked over to see Missy with a concerned look on her face.  She looked at Mia. “Hey spaz, think I can have a minute with blondie?”

Mia stopped stroking my hair and just nodded then left the room, looking back at me the whole way.  Missy snagged her hand and gave it a little squeeze with a smile on her way out, then she shut the door.  She turned to me and started toward the bed and the smile was replaced with something dangerous. “What did I tell you about hurting Mia?”  There was dead silence for a long moment as she stepped beside the bed and glared down at me.  I flinched back a little like I had been slapped.  Then she pointed at me. “You damn well better fix this Vicky, or I fucking quit.”

I was just nodding, trying to find my voice.  Then she softened and placed a hand on my cheek. “And get your hyper-ass better.  I hate seeing you like this, it brings back... memories... best left unremembered.”

I nodded again, then feebly offered, “I'm sorry Missy, I was weak, I panicked.”

She met my gaze with a sly smirk, “You got bigger balls than that.  You three lez-migos were an unstoppable force in school.  So woman up and do the right thing, don't go soft now.”

Then she leaned down and kissed my forehead and simply walked off saying over her shoulder as she opened the door, “Don't make me have to come back here.”

Can I just say that scary lady is scary?  I was glad that she was Mia's friend and from the feeling I get from her, my friend too.

Mia was back in the room like a lightning bolt, in her chair, holding my hand.  We put the news on the television and just sat in comfortable silence, our fingers laced.  I had to almost have her dragged out of the room to get something to eat when my breakfast came if you can call this stuff they feed you at the hospital, breakfast.  It took the girls to coax her away and that just made me smile.

We didn't really talk about why I ran the rest of the day, anytime I started to steer the subject she would shoot me a hard glance.  She promised me we would talk, but AFTER I was home, right then I was to concentrate on recovery.

I had visitors all day that just made me smile.  Skylar had smuggled in a doughnut for me.  Chocolate with sprinkles!  Abbey sat and read with me a while.  June shared that Robin Hartford's art was coming into high demand now that she was out of college and had more time to dedicate to her art.  I smiled even wider at the revelation that the girls knew her and that the woman was blind and creating such insightful pieces of art.

Mia refused to go home and sat vigil in the chair beside me she had claimed for her own.  For some reason, the hospital staff didn't kick her out after visiting hours, and I woke up again with her sleeping in a chair with her head on my belly.  My heart hurt.  Was it because of my concussion or because I couldn't imagine loving a person any more than I loved this wonderful woman.

After being cleared, I was discharged into the care of the green-eyed imp.  It was almost comical how many people we had in tow through the hospital.  Mia, the girls and Candi loaded me up in Mia's vehicle and we made our way... home.

Chapter 15 – Recovery

The moment I stepped foot in the lake house, I was remanded to bed rest for another twenty-four hours just like the doctor recommended, to my protestations.  If it wasn't Mia sitting on me and keeping me in her bed, it was Candi or the girls.

Then over the next few days, as I was convalescing at home, a schedule was worked out for doctor followup appointments and physical therapy for my hand.  Besides the antibiotics, I had to take some blood thinner medication for my heart until the doctors were satisfied.

I so desperately wanted to talk to Mia about everything.  I think I was finally ready to admit to everything.  I was so very tired of hiding and my accident just showed me how much I was hurting.  It was easier said than done as it seemed like the accident and the reason for it were taboo subjects. Everyone would change the subject or tell me that I needed to recover before any serious discussions took place.

Leigh had flown back to London with Brandon, he couldn't put off clients for too long, and his mother volunteered, enthusiastically, to watch Brandon while he was at work until Candice came back to London.

Candi had stayed behind babbling something about the best friend contract, paragraph thirteen, subsection B.  “A best friend will always be there when they are needed.”  She also reinforced the fact that I was a “bloody git."  I loves me some Candice.

Mia started disappearing into her studio in the garage for hours at a time and nobody was allowed in there.  Whenever we went out to an appointment, she would drive the FJ Cruiser out and pick me up at the front door.  The one time I dressed to go to work at the gallery I was about tackled by the evil women in the house.  Then they tattled on me when I insisted I was going stir crazy.  They had Missy on the phone with me saying, “Are you a fucking idiot blondie?  We don't need your sorry ass here until Mia clears you for duty.”

I tried to argue. “Why does Mia have to...”

Missy cut me off. “Do I need to come up there?”

I sighed. “No.  Fine, I'll stay home, but I'm not going to like it!”

She mocked me. “But I'm not going to like it.  Good god woman, just accept defeat gracefully.” I blew a raspberry and hung up.

God these women are all so frustrating!  And just look at the smug look on all of their faces!  I shot a menacing “Grr,” at them, but it was as frightening as a kitten yawning.

My third day at physical therapy was like torture.  As always, Mia was there, encouraging me.  I was able to touch each of my fingers to my thumb that day and the master of the torture dungeon, Larry, made me make a fist. “Holy snarklepuss!” I spat at the pain as I tried.  It wasn't so much my fingers that hurt, but the palm of my hand where the pins were felt like it was on fire, but I managed a semblance of a fist.

Mia had a silly look on her face.  I had to grin at it as I asked,  “What?”

She shrugged, and scrunched up her nose as she asked, “Holy snarklepuss?”

I gave her a cheesy grin and defended myself. “I didn't want to say 'shit,' I'm a lady.”  Just then, Larry applied pressure to my fingers, straightening them out on a board and I blurted, “Fuck!”

Mia winced then grinned like she had just won a prize as she giggled. “Yes, such a lady.”

I blushed and smiled. “That's enough from the peanut gallery, or 'the claw' will get you!”  I held my hand up in a claw.  Then I shot out in rapid succession, “Oooo that sounds like a good movie monster, the Claw.  It could be this severed hand that wants to take over a living host so that it has a body again. People could run from it in the forest but keep tripping on like air molecules and junk, because people can't possibly take more than four steps in a horror movie without tripping and then the...”

Mia interrupted me as Larry chuckled. “Vickster, slow down, remember to put pauses between each word.”

I blushed then shot her a coy look as I said like a petulant child,  “Sorry.  But I'd so make an awesome movie monster!”

I was given two balls to take home, a hard rubber ball for me to squeeze and a soft stress ball to alternate with to build strength and keep my tendons flexible.  Larry babbled something about atrophy, but I wasn't listening as I was grinning at Mia absently organizing the items on the counter beside where she sat.  It was cute the way she nudged things around with a finger.  It used to really turn Vee on.

I started replaying what I heard in the hospital.  That was a real memory wasn't it?  Not just a vivid dream?  I was pretty out of it.  My mind was suddenly assaulted by everything Mia and Vee.  I fought hard to create white noise to control myself.  1-6-9-3-9-9-3-7-5.  Harmon R. Scaffer, Hiruku Nakagawa, Roberta Valentine. I smiled internally at that one since I knew her. Parrots actually name their young with different calls.  It wasn't working so I remembered Professor Klein's formula on the whiteboards and it filled all the recesses of my mind with its beautiful symphony.

My breathing slowed and I noticed Mia was beside me with a worried look on her face.  I gave her an embarrassed smile and squeezed the hand she had in mine.  I just gave an almost imperceptible nod and she relaxed.

Larry gave me a list of exercises for my hand and then used something like Torture-Device-One to poke my hand all over, I swear just to be evil.  There were some dead spots but both the doctors and Larry both said that feeling may or may not come back in those areas over time.  Could take days, weeks, months or more.

Four weeks into my recovery, Abs and Sammi started shopping for furniture for their place,  I was saddened at the realization that even though I saw them as kids, they were full blown adults about to embark on a new chapter of their lives, no matter how badly I wanted them to stay at “home."  Mia was half excited for them and half terrified of her daughter leaving the nest.  She still had the ridiculous notion in her head that she didn't know who she was without Abbey.

Both Mia and I couldn't hold back tears when the first of Abbey's things were packed into some boxes.  They would split time between packing here and packing Samantha's things over at Sky and Kim's.  The fangirl part of me was still amazed that I was actually friends with Satin Thunder.  If I had a little sign to hold up that said, “Squee!” every time I spoke to them, I would.

The thing that was killing me is that Mia started our nightly talk sessions again as we learned even more things about each other's last twenty years.  She seemed to be committing it all to memory like I was.  But she would steer me away from talking about us.  She would say, “There will be time to talk about that stuff after you are recovered Vic.”

I was always painfully aware of her proximity, the heat of her body, her intoxicating scent as we sat across from each other.  She would delicately rub my left hand with her thumb as we clasped hands.  I swear she was doing more and more seductive things on purpose as she had a cute but slightly sly smile on her face at all times.  My body felt like it was on fire just having her close.

Beatrice was a sexy woman, but my body never reacted so intensely to her.  I couldn't shake the feeling that Mia was doing this on purpose, some sort of sweet, sweet torture that I just wanted more of.  Does that make me a masochist?  I don't think I'd make an awesome masochist.

We'd wake up every morning after our talks in her bed with her cuddled into me.  More of that beautiful torture.  Somehow she always knew when I was awake and staring at her, taking every inch of her in and storing it in the library in my head that was dedicated to her.  She would always just grin sweetly with her eyes still closed and snuggle in and say, “You're watching me again.”

Candice was getting more and more comfortable here and was telling us how much she was coming to love Seattle.  I huge part of my heart warmed as I saw her and Mia becoming fast friends.  Candice once whispered to me, “Your descriptions of her didn't do her justice, she brill Vicky!”  I took pride in that fact.

Mia finally started letting people into her studio again after a visit from Missy.  I swear all of us at one time or another went snooping around in the studio after that to see if we could figure out what Mia had been doing.  But as usual the place was spotless and organized and not even a single spec of dust seemed to infiltrate the almost sterile environment.  We couldn't get her to fess up to anything either.  I learned my lesson when I asked once and only got a smile from her and a seductive dance move to some unheard melody in her head and bumping of hips with me.  Leaving me panting in arousal of the display and her swiveling hips as she went back into the house giggling.  She was flirting and teasing me!  Let me tell you, I had a really interesting time alone in the shower after that... twice.

The next week the doctor's signed off on my recovery.  The bones healed nicely, I would always have the pins in my hand and I still have months of physical therapy to go through for my hand.  I had most of my mobility and fine motor control of my hand back now, though the dead spots still plagued me.  There was always an ache in the hand like arthritis that I would probably always have.  I couldn't complain, it was my fault to begin with.

With that news, Missy informed me that she would “allow” me back at my own business!  The cheeky bird... umm woman.  Then the inevitable.  The girls announced that they had rented a moving truck.  All of their new furniture had been delivered to their house over the past few days and they basically had everything set up over there.  All that was left was to move their personal belongings, June had joined us to help out.

Everyone's mood was sort of solemn but hopeful as we helped load up the truck.  Then we made our way over to the Roth's and picked up Samantha's stuff.  Our procession of vehicles made our way to the girl's place.  There was an ominous feeling hanging thick in the air, a feeling I have felt few times in my life, it was the feeling of the end of an era.  It was coupled and eclipsed by the excitement of the girls embarking on a new adventure in their lives.

We all sat down for a home cooked meal in the dining area of the great-room of the A-frame house. The huge glass wall had a spectacular view of the mountains above the trees behind the house.

Samantha looked around as everyone dished up.  “I feel like I should say something here.  Like this is an auspicious occasion or something.”  She grinned.  “But I got nothin.'”

June stood up with her wine glass and a toothy grin. “That's ok Hank, I got this shit.”

We all grabbed our wine glasses as we chuckled at June.  She was suddenly very serious, a side of June not many see and it just added to the girl's presence. “Hank and AJ.  The moment I saw the two of you together, I and everyone around, knew that there were never two people who belonged together more.  You inspire awe and love and hope in anyone lucky enough to know you.  So here's to Abbey and Samantha's long and happy life together.”

We all said, “Here here,” and clinked our wine glasses.

Abbey just blushed and said, “I love you all.”  Everyone reciprocated and we dug into Samantha's lasagna.  Mmmm... I'm all about Italian food!

After dinner, somehow Mia and I wound up outside hand in hand, walking down the path to the creek.  It was a serene scene in the twilight, as slivers of light played along the lazily moving stream.  Mia sat us on one of the two carved benches at the sunken fire pit at the bank.  The ground was covered in pebbles around the little clearing to keep grass and underbrush from encroaching on the little oasis of tranquility.

Mia laid her head on my shoulder and said softly, “It's nice out here.”

I nodded, acutely aware of our shared body heat.  Then she pulled back and asked, “You ever think about the future?  You're hopes and dreams?”

I nodded.  “I sort of can't help doing that.  Such is my curse.  I'm always thinking about everything whether I want to or not.”  She just nodded slowly, I could see her mind working in her eyes, there was that intelligence, the shadow of Vee, something sparking and glittering that looked so much like a mix of passion and something else... mischief?

I squinted at that.  She was so much fun when she was mischievous. “What you up to Mia?”

She grinned and said, “Oh nothing much.  I'm just imagining the fun that the universe has in store for us.”

Cryptic much oh cute cryptic one?  I was about to say something when she asked, “Do you mind if I go into the Galley with you in the morning?  There is something I need to show you.”

I nodded and then my mind went blank when she stood and leaned down and kissed me so delicately on the lips that it felt like I had been brushed by butterfly wings.  I was trying to reboot my brain, all of the voices and lines of thought had just derailed, leaving me only feeling the tingling of my lips and the heat inside me.  I heard her giggling through the sound of my pulse pounding in my ears. “Race you back, and Victoria... breathe.”

Wait, what?  She... the... oh no she doesn't.  I was able to reconnect the pathways between my brain and my body and I got up and ran after the giggling imp.  We were met on the lawn of the girl's house by everyone.  Mia hid behind Kim, who comically side stepped as I ran up.  Mia reached up and shoved Kimi's shoulder playfully. “Traitor.”

This got her some waggling eyebrows from the exotic looking woman as we all laughed.  Before I knew it, Mia had grabbed my hand and laced our fingers like always.  This is how it should always be.

Abbey and Candi were scrutinizing both of us with amused looks on their faces.  What were they looking at?  I blushed into the core of the planet when Abbey reached over discretely when we all started into the house and brushed below my lower lip with her thumb, whispering, “You got a little of mom's lip-gloss there.”

I was fighting with shame and guilt until I noticed she was grinning like a Cheshire cat.  She wasn't appalled?  Gawd I loved her like my own daughter.

Then the tear fest began when us “adults” and June, said our goodbyes.  Though we rationally knew this moment was coming, we still weren't ready for the emotional realization that Abbey and Sam weren't coming home with us.  This was their home now.  I'd like to tell you I was a paragon of control and grace, but that would be a lie.  I blubbered like a baby and didn't want to release my hug with Abbey.  Mia had a similar reaction.

When we arrived home and Candice settled into my room.  I wandered out to find Mia standing in Abbey's room.  It was antiseptic clean of course, with nothing but a bed, dresser and nightstand in it.  She was staring at the ceiling.  I stood next to her and looked up as I turned the light off.  I knew Mia would never call this a guest room nor ever let anyone use it.  It would always be Abbey's room, anytime she needed to come home.

Thousands of stars glowed on the ceiling.  Each star was composed of dozens of tiny dots of glow in the dark paint.  Mia glanced at me that hugged onto my arm, placing her head on my shoulder as we watched them glow.  She said, “I remember like it was yesterday.  Me painting those stars in the nursery here when I was pregnant with Abbey, while you and Valla painted the walls.  I was so worried I would mess up that they wouldn't be perfect.  I had to get the stars just right so that they would match the stars in the sky on her projected due date.”

I leaned my head on top of hers as she spoke.  “I loved my baby so much already and she hadn't even been born yet.  I was amazed, how could this wonderful gift growing inside of me effect me so much already?”

I glanced down and her eyes were watering a bit as she said, “They were always Abbey's favorite thing in her room.  No matter how many times she changed the decor or repainted the walls, the stars had to stay.  She told me once that looking up at them in bed always told her that she was home.”

Then she broke down and I just held her.  It was all I could do.  We just stood like that until she led me to her bedroom and she just laid in bed and raised the covers for me expectantly.  I remembered the times she did that for me in the past, of course, I could do the same for her.  I slid in behind her and just held her until we both fell asleep.

Chapter 16 – The Art of Confession

The next morning, I woke up to my phone alarm chiming softly, still holding my raven haired beauty, still protecting her from unseen specters that would do her harm.  I know it was just my imagination, but the house sounded so silent with the girls gone.  They would still be asleep so it should be this silent anyway, and Candice was there as well.  But it did sound quieter in my imagination, and it felt a little less alive knowing that Abbey was gone.

I looked down at Mia and just had to smile at her.  Like her, I wondered how she would fill her time now.  She didn't have any real hobbies outside of art, and she shouldn't immerse herself in that 24/7.

I swear by our platypus overlords, she was beautiful even with her cute bedhead.  I snickered inwardly as my mind suddenly created an entire universe at that thought, ruled by the benevolent platypus race.  Right down to culture, politics, and economy.  Sometimes my curse is fun.

I longed for the woman as I memorized yet another moment with her in my arms.  Then I caught the slight quirk of a smile on her lips as she snuggled in tighter and said, “You're staring at me again Vickster.”

I smiled and admitted offhandedly, “Yes... yes I am.”  Then I started poking her ribs causing her to laugh and escape my tickling grasp as I added, “Up and at em' if you want to go into work with me today.”

She stood and looked back over her shoulder, almost demurely as she said, “You lady, are no lady.” Then she escaped into her bathroom as I grinned at her.  I swear she put a little extra wiggle in her hips. I must be imagining things again, but I swear lately she has deliberately been flirting with me.

I shook that out of my head, then I hopped up and made my way to my room.

I knocked lightly on the open door and said to a sleepy looking Candice, who was already sitting up, “Hey girl.  I'm heading into work in a bit.  I need to get ready.  Mia is coming with me, did you want to tag along and see what I'm doing with my new life?”

She gave me her typical morning yawn and cute closed mouth grin. “That would be brill Vicky.” Then she got out of the bed and shuffled toward the door like a zombie moaning, “I need a cuppa.  You get cleaned up, I'll start the coffee.”

Coffee about now sounded divine.  I grabbed one of my business suits and dragged myself into my bathroom.  After my familiar ritual of showering and preparing for the day, slowed a little by the limited use of my left hand, I emerged as Victoria Davenport, Business Woman v1.0.  I perked up a little at the divine smell of fresh coffee wafting into the room.

I wandered out to the great room.  Mia was already there whispering with Candice.  Mia was looking a little too sexy for my libido, she was in one of her gorgeous formal dresses that showed a tantalizing amount of her shapely calf at the slit by her left leg.  I tried to say good morning, but I think it came out something like, “Gwamllaaa.”  I may have been drooling.  All kinds of naughty thoughts went through my mind that I had to quell with a good dose of white noise.

Candi burst out laughing and bumped hips with the ebony maned temptress.  She chuckled. “I believe that was the reaction you were shooting for.  I'll be out in a flash ladies.”  She shuffled past me with her cup of coffee in hand but paused beside me to place a finger on my chin to close my mouth before she burst out laughing again as she went to my room.

I made a beeline for the cup of coffee Mia already had sitting on the counter waiting for me.  I took a sip as I regained my composure and said, “Good morning.”  This just caused Mia to burst out laughing like my evil best friend had.

I gave her a crooked smile as I tried to put on a hurt face.  “Why iz you be evils to me?”

She smiled into her cup and sipped her coffee to try to hide her mirth... unsuccessfully.  She gave a tiny shrug and then absently went about straightening up the counter where Candi had prepared the coffee.  Nudging the coffee maker parallel to the counter's edge and turning the coffee can so that the label faced out.  She mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, “Because it is fun.”

I rolled my eyes at the minx and made my way into the great room and settled in on one of the over-comfy couches to watch the morning news.  They were announcing that McKenzie Meyers was lost on a recon mission in Africa while scouting human trafficker locations and was presumed dead.  My heart dropped at that.  God, I had just seen the woman a few months ago, and she was so full of life.  Haunted, but full of life.

I absently pulled up every article I had ever read about the woman and all of the news reports and played them all through my head simultaneously.  Damn, she was the definition of hero.  I looked over when the couch shifted.  Mia had sat beside me.  She looked at the screen and said sadly, “That is a terrible loss.”  I nodded and switched off the television when Candi joined us.  She was in a new dress I hadn't seen before, it seemed a little formal for tagging along for a boring time at work.

Mia beamed at her.  “You look positively radiant Candice.”  The blonde blushed shyly.  It reminded me so much of the bashful young woman I had met so many years ago.  This made me a little sad as I realized that Candi would be returning home to London tomorrow.  I would miss her... again, but I knew how much she missed her baby.

I glanced at the only clock in the place, back in the kitchen.  “Shall we ladies?”  I motioned my hand toward the garage door.  Mia grabbed her purse and I saw her instinctively check for Little Vee.  I had to smile.  Then the raven haired beauty opened the door for Candi, who went into the garage, but then Mia shocked me to the core by putting on some low burgundy kitten heels that matched her dress that had been sitting next to Vee's combat boots.

I guess I was too obvious when she bent down and tilted her head a bit to put her face between me and the boots that she had worn every day for the past twenty years.  The boots she has had repaired and re-soled so many times.  The boots that gave her strength and reminded her of the only woman she could ever love.  She smiled wistfully and said, “I won't be needing those today.”  Then she straightened up and stepped through the door, casting a slightly hesitant look at the combat boots as she passed.

I followed in a daze.  Mia changing her patterns was a monumental thing.  Her obsessive compulsive nature made it an almost impossible for her to do.  I knew the things that looped around in her mind over and over again as I did the same to an extent.  I stared at the boots as I passed into the garage.  I hopped into the passenger seat of Mia's car, reminding myself that I needed to get a vehicle of my own since I totaled mine... trashed a piece of my history that I can't ever get back now.

I had to force myself from simply staring at Mia as she drove, she was a vision today.  I stopped breathing when her hand took my left hand ever so delicately and laced out fingers.  It was so gentle that if it weren't for the heat where we touched traveling up my arm, I wouldn't have felt it.  She was so very careful of my injury.

I almost jumped out of my seat when Candi spoke, I had completely forgot the fact that she was there, and that is saying something. Mia was so distracting.  My British friend chirped out, “I finally get to see the Downtown Seattle Gallery.  I've wanted to see it ever since you bought it Vic.”

Mia appeared to be as startled as I was and we both shot a quick glance at each other then started laughing.  Candi scrunched up her nose and squinted one eye. “What are you silly birds on about now?”  This just got us laughing harder.  Candi just crossed her arms like a petulant child and harrumphed.

We had to make sure not to make eye contact and we took deep breaths to assuage our giggle fit. Then before I knew it Mia was smoothly parking her huge vehicle in my reserved parking spot.  The lot was almost empty.  That was odd, normally it was around two-thirds full at this time.  I recognized most of the cars.  One of the cars was Abbey's.  Didn't she have work today?  What was she doing here?

We hopped out and the object of my desire claimed my arm for Mia-opolis.  Ownership I gladly ceded to yon raven haired maiden.  I had to fight a sigh as we walked to the main doors.  There were big signs on the door.  “Closed until noon for private showing.”  What the hell was that?  I quickly went through the schedule for the entire year in my head, the next private showing wasn't for a couple months.  The Thanksgiving benefit for the Callahan Foundation was being hosted here.  This must be a last minute thing that Missy arranged, that's part of her job, to determine what is best for the gallery, but I'd at least like an email about it.

The door was locked so I produced my key card from my purse and waved it over the lock and the lights turned green and we opened the door.  We walked in and the gallery was almost deserted and all of the art was missing.  There was just the huge cavernous room with only five canvases covered with sheets.

There was a single group of people gathered near the stairs, drinking champagne.  My parents, the Roths, June, Missy, Abbey, and Samantha.  They were all in formal wear, and all cheered a little when they saw us.  I could see my staff peeking through the windows in the door to the staging area.  Missy motored over and said with a smile, “Spaz, freak, Brit.”

We all fought back smiles at her greeting.  I blurted out, “What's going on here Missy?”

She shrugged and looked at Mia, “Ask the other Lez-migo.”  And with that, she looped arms with Candi and pulled her over to the group with a conspiratorial grin.

Mia blushed and looked extremely embarrassed, but she started talking slowly and deliberately, capturing my eyes with hers.  I couldn't have looked away if I were hit by a bus.  There was something sparkling around in her eyes, something that was reserved for only one person, but she was looking at me with those eyes now.  “You remember our talk before...  when I wasn't sure just who I was without Abbey?”

I opened my mouth, but she just put her fingers on my lips. “No, let me finish.”  I just nodded and she smiled.  “I had defined myself in college with Valla.  The woman I knew was the once in a lifetime love for me, like a lightning strike from the heavens.”  There was a tinge of sorrow in her eyes and voice, I felt the loss like it had just happened.

Then she shot a loving look toward the group.  “Then I defined myself with Valla's final gift to me, the most precious daughter anyone could wish for.  I wanted to give Abbey all the love I could. Enough love for both Valla and me.  To give her the happiest life, I could.”

I glanced over and Abbey appeared to be tearing up.  Then I was captured by Mia's dazzling emerald greens again.  “I have thought about this long and hard since then, I haven't been able to think about anything else since to tell the truth.  I have sort of been obsessing over it.  I came to an epiphany, something that was staring at me the whole time.  The truth of it all.  I wasn't defined by Valla nor Abbey.  I was defined by myself.  I defined myself by what made me happy, and believe me, Valla and Abbey make me so happy.”

She motioned her eyes at her shoes, the absence of the combat boots looming ominously.  “I'll always have Valla in my heart.  She showed me how to live for the first time in my life, but I am not defined by her.  I know as a fact that beyond a shadow of a doubt, and above all else, she would have wanted me to be happy, and she would cry tears of joy at my decision to tell you something Victoria Amelia Davenport.”

I was crying and I couldn't tell you why.  She gently led me over to the group and Missy handed me a white silk string.  I looked around at everyone, they all had expectant looks on their faces.  What was this conspiracy that they were obviously all part of?  I tugged the string and the sheets fell from the large canvases twenty-five feet away.

My hand shot up and covered my mouth.  A brass plaque labeled each canvas,  the grouping was entitled “Lightning Strikes Twice."  The first four canvases showed photo-realistic portions of a woman.  A long elegant neck.  The curve of a cheek from a profile, showing the corner of a smiling mouth.  Brilliant blue eyes that looked intelligent and haunted with little crows feet in the corners that could only be formed by years of smiling.  A cute nose with shy, smiling lips that had this crooked smile that made you smile yourself.

Each one had a word that looked to be formed of sparkling gold on them.  “I'm” was on the first. “in” on the second, followed by “love”, and finally “with” on the fourth.  I choked back a sob as I started at the fifth canvas, at the impossible figure on it.

There, larger than life I stared at myself.  It was an idyllic version of my face.  I was looking absently up like I was deep in thought, I had my reading glasses in my hand as I idly chewed on an earpiece.  It was almost tranquil.  I almost looked sexy in the picture Mia had created.

I dropped my hand and I looked at her.  She placed her hands on my cheeks and wiped the tears gently away with her thumbs.  I glanced between her and the artwork.  She whispered, “No guilt... no running... only the truth.  I know what will make me happy, and how I want to define myself.  I want you Vicky.”

I nodded as I started sobbing again.  She pulled me into a warm hug.  I could feel her heart beating against me.  She pulled me back and locked eyes with me and said in a wavering voice, her own eyes tearing up.  “I'm in love with you Victoria.”

I nodded and said hoarsely, “I've always been in love with you too Mia.  You and Vee.”

She was smiling through her watery eyes, “I know.”  Then my soul was on fire with want and desire as our lips met.  I was only peripherally aware of the people around us cheering.  The only thing that existed in my universe at that moment was Mia.  My mind was silent, something only she could do for me.  I found peace in that silence, peace in our kiss.

I couldn't get close enough to the woman I loved.  We never tore our eyes from each others as people congratulated us.  Before long Missy was announcing.  “Okay, you sorry lot, get your asses out of here.  I have a Gallery to run!”

With that the doors to the shipping area opened and my employees streamed in with carts containing the other exhibits and started hanging them again.  Adam was loading the Lightning Strikes Twice exhibit onto a cart.  Mia grinned at me and said, “Those are mine.  For my studio.”  I smiled and kissed her.  Oh, my Gawd!  I can kiss Mia now!  I ran around super fast in tiny circles in my head.

I whispered to her, “I will so make an awesome girlfriend.  I promise Mi-Mi.”

She giggled and dragged me through the door with the rest of her evil conspirators.  We all stood in the parking lot and I marveled at these people I considered family.  Then Kimi's stoic look broke into a smile as she looked at the two of us, “It's about damn time.”

This caused me to blush like a friggin' schoolgirl as everyone voiced their agreement.  Abbey gave me a hug and whispered, “Now don't make me wait too long before I can call you mom.  Love you.”

I whispered, “Love you too baby girl.”

Then I was dragged physically to the car by a deceptively strong black haired angel.  “You are mine today, you can work tomorrow.”

We drove in relative silence.  I tried to voice my guilt one last time but was shut up by Mia saying softly but firmly, “Don't you dare feel guilty, you know damn well Valla would be so happy right now, knowing we had each other as she looks down from heaven.”

We spent the day wandering the city, just being close to each other, discussing all the ramifications of this.  Expressing our love to each other.  We ate at the Pike bakery at Pike Place Market.  We wandered the piers and then went down to the Ballard Locks and watched the boats rise up from the Sound to the lake.

Then we went home.  Home... it was my home wasn't it?  Wherever Mia was, was my home, always has been.  My mind was obsessing, replaying every moment I had ever spent with Mia.  It felt almost odd, not making white noise to push the thoughts aside, I just welcomed them in for the first time.  Oh my god, was I... happy?

We ordered pizza and I almost died, my heart was beating so fast as Mia started a slow, steamy makeout session with me as we waited for the food to be delivered.  I was so hot, so aroused, so... squee!  I was curling my toes as we surfaced for air, panting.  Then Mia pulled back a bit with a seductive smile and cocked her head toward the door.  A moment later the doorbell rang.  How does she do that?

Then she hopped up and went to pay as I jumped up and retrieved some colas from the fridge and joined her on the couch.  It was a seduce-off, not a meal.  It was a battle to see who could make the other one squirm in need and want as the other took seductive bites of pizza.  I forget what the pizza tasted like, Mia was winning by that much.

Finally, she just shook her head in frustration and grabbed my hand and dragged me down the hall to her bedroom.  I turned to talk to her, but she physically pushed me back onto the bed and straddled me.  “No talking.”  She gave me such a heated kiss I almost lost it right there, I melted into her as our hands started exploring each others curves.  She paused a second then looked sheepishly at me.  “Ummm it's been a couple decades since I...”

I grinned and took advantage of her distraction and turned the tables.  I wound up on top.  I kissed her hotly then I sat up on her and pulled off my suit jacket.  She was tugging and pulling at my blouse.  I started unbuttoning it for her, but I must have been taking too long.  I giggled as she just tore it open, buttons flying everywhere.  My arousal went off the scale as her hot lips were on my bare belly, leaving a trail of kisses.

She looked at my black satin bra and whimpered.  I quickly reached back and released the clasp.  I don't remember much after I got her to shimmy out of that spectacular dress.  The foreplay went on for almost an hour, I thanked god over and over for Mia's obsessive compulsive nature as she made it her sacred duty to touch or caress every inch of my body, pushing my arousal beyond my own breaking point.

I tried to keep up, I'm quite proud of my effort, but I almost passed out when she wound up on top again, kissing a trail down my side and around to my belly and started downward.  I gasped, I was hers in every sense of the word.  She coaxed sounds out of me I didn't even know I was capable of making.

For the next hour, she made me hers over and over, and I re-payed the favor.  I realized at that time that I had never truly made love before.  I thought I had, but nothing could ever compare to this, this was something beautiful, something soul affirming.  I felt... sexy.

We fell asleep, a tangle of limbs and hot flesh, we were one, I didn't know where I ended and where she began and frankly I really didn't care.  For the first time in my life, I truly knew what happiness was, what love really was.

The next morning when I woke up, a tiny part of me was embarrassed, I was naked pressed up against the naked form of the most-beautiful creature in creation.  Then a little voice in my head said, “Yeah, but she chose you, idiot.”  I grinned and basked in the heat of my skin touching hers.  My arousal was building.

I licked my lips and started sampling her hot flesh.  This got what sounded like a purr from her as she stretched like a cat.  She whispered, “My god.  That was...  I... wow.”  Then she caught my lips with her's again.  I sighed as she yielded to my tongue gently probing and tracing her lips.

It was around noon when we finally made it out of the bedroom, my entire being buzzing.  As we sat on the couch with our coffee, she leaned in and put her forehead against mine and whispered, “I love you Victoria Amelia Davenport.”

I was mesmerized by her loving eyes as I whispered back, “And I love you Mia Jessica Jacobs.”

Her eyes went wide and she said softly, with awe tinging her voice, “There it is again, that deafening whisper.”

Epilogue

I looked over at my Vicky, god she was spectacular.  I swear she dresses provocatively on purpose, just to get my motor running.  The past few months have been like a dream.  For the second time in my life, I am finding a direct correlation between my zipper and my smile.  The woman is insatiable.  That's not a complaint mind you.  Just a super happy observation, since I'm the same way with her.  We fit like two puzzle pieces.  She has awoken the portion of me that has laid dormant for so long.  My passion.

So here we are on Christmas Eve, speeding to city hall.  I loved her idea, instead of some big wedding, just eloping.  All we need is each other.  We can't help it that about twenty others were following us.  Well, so what if we aren't eloping right.  Our families would kill us if we didn't let them tag along.

Just a block away, at the Hitching Post, we listened to the minister babble on an on, but finally, he shut up and for the second time in my life, I was a married woman.  After the kiss Vickster laid on me then, I almost melted and would have just let her take me on the floor right then and there if Abbey weren't clearing her throat and fanning her face.  I blushed and buried my face in Vicky's shoulder.

I snorted when the minister asked for two witnesses to sign the paperwork and everyone fought over who it would be until they found a solution.  I giggled knowing that we'd have the only wedding license with twenty witness signatures on the bottom of it.

I cried when Abbey walked right up to Vicky and said, “Hi, MOM, I love you.”

Vicky hugged her desperately. “I love you too baby girl!”

We chose the golden arches for the reception and Vicky cutely fed me fries as I sorted them on a napkin, smallest to largest.  That's when we informed everyone of our plans.  I started, “I know everyone keeps asking about out honeymoon plans.  We didn't want to let the cat out of the bag until everything was finalized.  We got the final confirmation this morning.  Vicky and I are going to be taking a two-year sabbatical.  To tour all the prominent museums and works of art around the world.  It has always been a dream of mine, but I'm sort of scared of the world.  Vicky and Valla have both shown me how to be strong, and I'm finally going to do this... with the woman I love.”

Vicky spoke, “You are stronger than you will ever know, love.  Missy is over the moon at having full autonomy at the gallery.  I'm as excited about this as Mia, not only do I get to see all the works of the masters, but I get to be married to one of those masters as we tour.”  She gave a patent pending hungry Vicky grin at me.

I looked to my Abbey and Samantha.  “Girls, I don't want to impose, but we were hoping you could help house sit for us, keep the estate running while we're gone.  Candi will be coming over after we leave on New Years.  She will run the financial aspects of the estate and the Gallery while we are gone.  Vicky will have our accounts and investments merged by then.  We'd appreciate if you could get her situated in Vicky's old room and give her a hand with Brandon too since Leighton won't be joining them for a couple months.”

I looked around at our family and June.  June always seemed to be around for important points in everyone's lives, she sort of had a knack for that.  You really can't define that woman, she was just as much family as everyone else surrounding us in the restaurant, like a third daughter to me.

Speaking of daughters, Abbey had shared with me that her bedroom at her new house didn't feel right without the stars, and she had me paint the familiar stars on their ceiling.  I smiled fondly at her.

Then I took a deep breath and brought up the second announcement.  “Vicky and I have been talking, she missed Abbey growing up though she viewed it from afar.  We've decided that we want another child.”

I cringed and looked around, but all there was were smiles.  I thought our ages would be an issue, but apparently not to this group.  I voiced it anyway, “Our only concern was how late in life we would have a child.  But Vicky brought up the fact that there are millions of orphans in the United States alone.  The older children, six years old and up have an increasingly diminishing chance of ever getting adopted.  And I know that foster homes are no way to grow up.  So when we return, we want to adopt one of those older children and give them a home with people who love them.”

Abbey's eyes were twinkling, “I'm going to have a little brother or sister?”  I nodded at my daughter, I was so very proud of her, she was and will always be my miracle.

Vicky grinned an evil grin and said, “Now if everyone would excuse us, I believe there is a hotel suite somewhere in this town reserved for Mrs. and Mrs. Davenport-Jacobs.  We'll see you all tomorrow night at my parent's for Christmas.”

She grabbed my hands and our fingers just automatically laced, the way they should always be and dragged me out to the car.   We hugged everyone goodbye and before I knew it, we were on the road toward the Empire Suites Hotel.  I couldn't drive fast enough as I smiled over at the object of my love, amazed at the woman that Vicky had become and the fact that she chose me, but only one thought was looping in my head.

“Damn, I need to get her out of that dress!”

Books in the Music of the Soul universe...

(All books are standalone and can be read in any order)

Music of the Soul

A Deafening Whisper

Dating Game

Karaoke Queen

Silent Bob

Five Feet or Less

Broken Song

Syncopated Rhythm

Progeny

Girl Next Door

Lightning Strikes Twice

Short Stories in the Music of the Soul universe...

Misadventures of Victoria Davenport: Operation Matchmaker

Books in the Valkyrie Chronicles series...

Return of the Asgard

Bloodlines

Folkvangr

Seventy Two Hours

Books in the Fracture series...

Divergence

Books in the Drakon series...

Awakening

Dragonfall

Sample Chapter from The Bridge: Trolls

Prologue

I squatted on the aircraft warning light on top of the bridge tower peering through the relentless rain, lightning casting stark shadows on the city, the brisk wind biting into the people bustling below.  I didn't mind, I never got cold anymore.  I could feel the motion of the river as it passed far below, just as much a part of the bridge as the foundation of the structure itself, just as much a part of me.  My pulse was thrumming in time with the cars passing over the deck of the bridge hundreds of feet below the lifeblood of the bridge,  giving it strength, purpose.

The black storm clouds blotted out the sky, if it weren't for the fact that I could feel it now, I wouldn't have know when the sun finally set over the horizon.  Weakening the gateway between the Under-Veil and the mortal world.  But I felt it as a thrum of energy now.  I dreaded this night above all others, not only did nightfall weaken the boundary, but it was All Hallows Eve.  From what little I have learned in the short time I have be bound to my bridge, there are certain nights that the supernatural divider between the realms weakened even more.  Allowing bigger and stronger creatures to force their way through.

The larger and more powerful the being that tried to cross over was, the more energy it sapped from them to attempt a crossing.  They had to gather their power for weeks or years, and in a couple cases, centuries to make an attempt.  That's why Halloween was the their preferred night as the boundary was twice as weak as even a new moon, when the moon was at its darkest.

Most beings that crossed over to the mortal realm at night were fairly innocuous and followed the rules set forth between the Triumvirate, the mortal supernatural council, and the Under-Veil creatures.  They paid their tolls, a gold coin that magically bound them to do no harm to mortals until they returned through the boundary before sunrise.  This restriction didn't stop them from the occasional mischief and or petty crimes.

But there were the darker beings like the ghouls, goblins, and wraiths who did not abide by the accords.  Their main reason for crossing over was to cause mayhem and chaos, to bring down suffering and corruption upon the mortals they despised.  To feast upon their fear and death.  That's where I come in.

My eyes scanned the Kentucky end of the bridge, preparing for my patrol of the gateway at that end of the bridge.  I glanced back at the lights of Cincinnati that were obscured by the heavy downpour.  Then my eyes snapped back when I felt something coming, something big.  The blood drained from my face as I realized I had felt this darkness and foreboding before.  It was him!  He was here.  I shook the rain out of my dark locks and pulled the black hood of my coat up over me, obscuring my face, and sprang off of the strobing red light, landing lightly on the roof of the tower, I ran toward the edge of the roof, my footsteps echoed in harmony with the thrumming from the unsuspecting people below, going about their business. Then I dove over the edge with stone cold determination in my heart as I plummeted toward the ground.

Most mortals could not perceive the battle that went on at the bridge nightly, we called those people 'straights'.  Thier eyes were veiled to the supernatural and other-worldly beings.  They saw only the human disguises they wrapped themselves in.  This ignorance made them easy prey fro those who would corrupt, those like the being crossing over now.

I gritted my teeth.  Not here, not at my bridge.

The irony of that struck me, as I never wanted this, never wanted the responsibility, never wanted this nightly fight against the corruption and evil from the nether side.  But here, exactly a year to the night later, there was no place I would rather be.  I loved my city, and this was my bridge.  My hands snagged a suspender cable after I fell half way to the deck and I whipped around and swung back up with my momentum in a high arc.  I felt my body absorbing the material when the skin of my hands came in contact with it, the mass, properties, and the unyielding strength of the cable.  I landed on the main cable, the stranded sheathed steel, bigger around than my body, as I slid down it's length, sparks shooting from the contact of my now metallic legs as I slid along the casing at breakneck speeds.  The lightning casting my shadow starkly on the bridge below for a flickering instant.  I leapt off of it at the low point and flipped through the air to land on the deck with a resounding crunch.  Cratering the concrete deck and kicking up a huge dust cloud of pulverized stone.

My body started absorbing the properties of the deck, becoming a living rock statue as I healed the damage I had wrought on my bridge with a bit of my will.  I stepped up to the deck as the damage filled in.

When the driving rain beat away the dust, an imposing, foreboding specter stepped through the debris as lightning lit the sky again, illuminating the being.  I stared at the demon, the harbinger of death itself, and set myself in determination.  The lightning flickered his visage between his true form and his human disguise.  I spoke, my voice grating like gravel across concrete, "None may pass on my bridge with ill intent.  Either pay the toll, bind yourself to no harm, or face my wrath.  I am Evangeline, troll of this bridge!"

The greater wraith smiled in a hideous grin that literally went from ear to ear on it's sickening dark rotting face, its inhuman smile showing long teeth dripping with saliva.  Then it screeched its defiance in a scream that chilled me to my bones.  My god, how did I think I could defeat this beast?  I steadied myself and drew power from my stalwart friend, from the foundations of the bridge itself then I snarled in defiance as we ran at each other in a clash of violence and blood.

As the first blow landed a small portion of my mind wondered how had I got here.  I thought back to that day a year ago that changed my life forever.  I could see it like it was yesterday.  So much had changed since then.

Table of Contents

- Chapter 1 – Going Home
- Chapter 2 – Preparation
- Chapter 3 – Goodbyes
- Chapter 4 – The Gallery
- Chapter 5 – Mia
- Chapter 6 – Catching Up
- Chapter 7 – Vicky
- Chapter 8 – Settling In
- Chapter 9 – Wedding Bells
- Chapter 10 – White Noise Failure
- Chapter 11 – Define Myself
- Chapter 12 – Vicky!?
- Chapter 13 – Memories
- Chapter 14 – Waking Up
- Chapter 15 – Recovery
- Chapter 16 – The Art of Confession
- Epilogue
- Sample