Changing Lines (Bellevue Bullies Book 5)
Author: Aleo, Toni
Date: 2019-06-25

Changing Lines

A Bellevue Bullies Novella

Toni Aleo

Copyright © 2019 by Toni Aleo

All rights reserved.

Changing Lines is a work of fiction. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Editing by: Lisa Hollett of Silently Correcting Your Grammar

Proofing by: Jenny Rarden

Cover Design: Lori Jackson Design

Created with Vellum

Contents

Introduction

Hockey Wife Life

Happy Wife, Happy Tristan

New Beginnings

The Next Hit

The Test

Our Angel

Harrison River Phillip Sinclair

Coming Home

COMING SOON!

Also by Toni Aleo

Acknowledgments

About Toni Aleo

Introduction

Before you get started!

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Dedication

To anyone that struggles with infertility.

I'm praying for your miracle.

Hockey Wife Life

Claire

“You’re serious.”

My husband of ten years looks down at his hands and lets out a long and heavy exhale. My heart is in my throat, and I honestly feel as if my head is spinning. “You can’t be serious.”

Jude then leans back in his chair, balancing it on two legs and avoiding eye contact. He’s acted this same way the last two times he’s come to me with this news. The first two times, I took in stride. I married a hockey player. A damn great one. And everyone wants him; I know this. But not now. We can’t do this now. So much is changing.

In a low voice, he says, “I didn’t ask for this.”

“I didn’t say you did,” I remind him, and then I shake my head, trying to ignore the tears welling up in my eyes. “Jude, we just bought this house, and our son will be here in no time. Tristan won’t be able to fly.”

“I know. You can stay here,” he says then, his dark green eyes meeting mine, but my eyes narrow to slits. He snaps his lips together and once more looks away, guilt on his face.

“So, you want me to stay here and wait for the birth of our son…by myself? Do you not want to be there? Does that make any kind of sense to you?”

He gets up suddenly. “No. Fuck, Claire. I didn’t want this. I know we had plans, but it’s the game, babe. It all changes—” he snaps, for the dramatics, I’m sure “—like that. I’m sorry. I know this is awful timing, but I have no choice.”

I know he doesn’t. I let my head fall forward, squeezing my eyes shut as the tears leak out and roll down my face. We just bought this house not even three months ago. His mom made it known that we needed a home for the new baby we are adopting. We’ve lived in apartments or rented houses since the beginning of our marriage. But nothing was really ours because we were both so career driven. When we decided to live apart so that I could run my aunt’s dance studio in Nashville, it was easy because we were so in love. Nothing could break our bond, and it didn’t. He is mine, and I am his.

Life was good—lonely but good. When he had home games, I would go home for the weekends, and whenever he was close to Nashville, I would go to him or him to me. We made it work. But the days turned into years, and we realized we wanted more. A family. For that to happen, we had to live together. Apparently, that’s not all you needed. We had the living and sex part down, but turns out, we also need good eggs and sperm.

Two things neither of us have.

When the doctor told us that his sperm were slow and my eggs weren’t strong, all I could think of was that episode of Friends when Monica and Chandler found out they couldn’t have kids. I wanted to be hopeful; it worked out for them, but then, that’s TV. That’s fiction. Things were not that easy. We went through all the options. My beautiful, amazing aunt, Reese, offered to carry our baby. Even my uncle Phillip was on board, but unfortunately, her uterus wasn’t strong enough. I blame it on her carrying two huge boys, and I promised her she didn’t fail me. Because she didn’t. If anything, I was failing Jude. Not that he ever told me that. He wouldn’t.

He has been supportive and hasn’t placed any blame. I know he even asked the women in our family, Baylor and Avery, but I assume they said no. I don’t blame them, though. Baylor almost died during her first pregnancy, and while the second went better, giving her another precious baby boy, the doctors told her she couldn’t chance it again. Avery is young, and she wasn’t the biggest fan of pregnancy. She has her girl and boy; what more could she ask for? Lucy, his sister, had actually just gotten a hysterectomy when we were looking for a surrogate. The twins had done a number on her body.

I don’t hold anything against our family. At all. I didn’t even want to ask, and the only reason I know Jude did was because his mom told me. With tears in her eyes, she said she’d have a baby for me, though I declined. She’s happy in her life with her husband, and they love being Grandma and Grandpa.

It’s all so overwhelming, the love of our family, and that should be enough. We have nephews and nieces galore. We could totally play that awesome aunt and uncle gig, but I yearn for the love of our child.

I searched for months through the profiles we were provided, trying to find someone to carry our baby, but no one was good enough. It also didn’t feel right. I didn’t want our baby growing in someone else. I wanted to grow that baby. I wanted to make that baby—inside me. I still have hope that maybe, down the road, something will happen. But I’ve learned these last three years that life is like the fourth line in hockey. Life is the goon, the guy out there to hit you, and we’re continually getting hit, left and right. I almost gave up hope, but then we met her.

Tristan Nordstrom.

Due to Jude’s participation in the Minnesota Wild’s Foundation, I find myself very much involved where he can’t be. Since I need something to do when he is gone, I volunteer at the shelter for women who are victims of domestic abuse. I love playing with the kids, and I even hold a small dance class every week. Something to make the kids feel normal. I love it, and I enjoy the people I meet very much.

Jude was on a long road trip when Tristan walked in. It was only six months ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. She had a nasty black eye, her poor lip was split, and she was clutching her purse while guarding her stomach.

“I left. I had to. I’m pregnant. He will kill it. Kill me.”

I was lucky enough to be in the lobby when she walked in. I went straight to her, and I didn’t leave her side for two days. I slept in the bed next to her. I watched over her. I felt like I was there for a reason. For her. In those two days, she didn’t say much. She was only eighteen—left home because her mom didn’t approve of her boyfriend. Can’t say her mom was wrong. He began hitting her for not making enough money at her serving job. She had to provide since he was between jobs. She was “too in love” to go back to the dorms. She wanted to be with him. So, she started working more shifts while trying to maintain her grades so she didn’t lose her full ride to Saint Paul College.

She is brilliant. She’s gorgeous, and I wanted so much for her.

“This is an accident. I still have so much school left. I want to be a doctor. I can’t get an abortion. It doesn’t feel right, and my mom would kill me. God, she’s gonna be so mad at me. I’ve ruined everything.”

Oh, hearing those words gutted me. I wanted to beg her to give me her baby, but I knew I couldn’t. It wasn’t right of me, and she was upset. Things would change. Surely, she’d want her baby. It’s a miracle, and yeah, she has so much going for her, but it’s her baby. I didn’t want her to regret it. I didn’t want her to rush into it, so I ignored her cries about the baby and tried to help her figure everything else out.

Tristan stayed at the shelter for three months. I knew she was staying for the protection; she was worried her ex would come for her, and that was okay. She attended all her classes, went to counseling, everything. I found myself coming to the shelter every day. I had to make sure she was okay. She always lit up when she saw me, and we’d spend hours talking. She had been a dancer her whole life, and she was on the basketball team’s dance squad at SPC. She came from a broken home. Her dad was a drug addict, and her mom was just trying to make ends meet. We had so much in common. I’d once been a lost teen in Minneapolis too, and I found myself sharing my life with her. We became fast friends, and I felt like I was filling the hole of needing a child with Tristan. I was taking care of her, which I realized wasn’t very healthy, but I didn’t care. She was too scared to call her mom, and God had me in that lobby for a reason.

For Tristan.

Through the program, which Jude and I fund, we give the women a lump sum to restart when they’re ready to leave the shelter. Since Tristan didn’t feel safe going back to the dorms, we found her a wonderful little apartment close to campus and also to the police station. She felt safe when we moved her in, and I felt like we had won. She was going to do big things. I remember standing in the middle of her living room when she looked over at me with her big brown eyes and wild, curly blond hair.

“I guess since my living situation is under control, I need to figure out what to do about the baby.”

Both of our gazes fell to her growing belly. My heart ached as I stared at her. I had gone through another fifty surrogate profiles, and I wasn’t happy with anyone. I couldn’t decide, and it was pissing Jude the hell off, but this was going to be the woman carrying our baby. She had to be perfect. I swallowed hard as I whispered, “You could keep it.”

She shook her head, her curls whipping against her face. “I can’t. Call me selfish, but I don’t want kids. I was on birth control, and this still happened.”

I hated how jealous I was of her. I’d basically stood on my head with Jude’s sperm inside me, hoping it would swim for my eggs. I don’t think people really realize how unsexy that is. “Then we’ll figure it out.”

Tristan’s gaze met mine. “Or you could adopt it.”

Remembering those five words will always give me chills.

They meant our dreams were coming true. But now, with the news of us moving, what if that dream is about to crash into the boards?

Happy Wife, Happy Tristan

Jude

I hate the pained look on Claire’s face.

My gorgeous wife is the most important thing in my existence, and I hate to let her down. We have so much planned. When we bought this house, it was to bring our baby home to. We were ready to make this Casa Sinclair, raise this amazing baby we’ve been blessed to get. But now we have to do that in Tampa Bay. I don’t even know if Tristan will be okay with that. What if she decides not to give us the baby now? I was just starting to feel like this was all real. We’ve had so much disappointment the last three years, but the more I get to know Tristan, the more I feel it’s really going to happen.

For Claire, though, she’s felt right about it since the beginning.

I’ll never ever forget that moment.

* * *

“Jude!”

I was playing Xbox with Jayden and Jace. It’s very rare when we all can get on Call of Duty together, but that night was the night.

“Jude!”

“Babe, what?” I say, knocking off my headphones. “I’m in the living room.”

She comes running in. Her hair wild, almost windblown. It’s changed over the years. When we first met, she had such bright, almost Ariel-colored red hair, but now it’s more of a strawberry-blond. She stopped dyeing it about three years ago when we started trying. It was one of those things she read that could help her get pregnant. I’m surprised how much I love it. I loved her red hair, but after all these years, I find that I just love her. All of her.

She drops down beside me, almost in my lap, as she grabs my shoulders. “I need to talk to you.”

I kiss her nose, a grin on my face. “I can tell. What’s up?” Tears gather in her eyes, and I drop the controller before turning off my headset. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Listen, I got Tristan into her apartment, and everything is great!”

My heart swells. The work we do at the shelter is probably my second favorite thing about my job. First is actually playing, but the second is being able to help people. I’m the highest-salary-capped player, and we don’t need all this money. My mom is married to an ex-hockey player and has three hockey-playing sons. My sister Lucy is also very successful in her design business and married to a hockey player, so Mom is set. We don’t need to support her. But everyone else… They need us. Claire is so devoted to the shelter, and it not only makes me want to do more, but it fills me with such pride.

“That’s wonderful. Does she feel safe?”

“Yes,” she gushes, her face red. “But it’s more than that.”

I draw in my brows. “What do you mean?”

“She asked if we wanted to adopt her baby.”

I couldn’t do much more than blink. “I’m sorry?”

“The baby she is pregnant with.”

“Oh, I thought it was the one she was getting from the store later,” I say, and she glares, the little wrinkle in her forehead sending heat through my body. “Be real, Claire. She isn’t going to give us her baby.”

“But she is.”

I feel like she’s growing a few more heads at this point. “Baby, stop.”

“Jude, seriously,” she demands, and I drop my head to the side. “Really. Tristan had said when I first met her that she didn’t want to keep the baby, but she couldn’t get an abortion. I said nothing, I promise. These last couple months, she’s never talked about the baby, or even wanted to. She knows it’s there, but it scares her. She’s young, and you know how badly she wants to get into medical school. But a baby will hold her back—”

“But it’s her baby,” I stress. “And like you said, she’s young. She’ll figure it out. We’ll help her.”

“Jude, seriously, this is helping her. I have said the same thing to myself for the last three months, but today, she honestly looked me in the eye and asked me to adopt it. Told me she wouldn’t want anyone else to have it but us.”

I refuse to get caught up in this matter. “Claire, we’re trying to find a surrogate.”

She shakes her head almost violently. “I have been looking at profiles for two fucking years, Jude, and I can’t find anyone because I don’t want anyone carrying our child but me.” When her eyes flood with tears, I have to look away. “I can’t give you a baby, and it kills me—”

“It’s me too, Claire. It’s not all on you.”

“But it’s my job,” she cries, her big fat tears running down her beautiful face.

“No!” I yell, getting fucking frustrated. “Your job is to love me. You don’t owe me anything but fucking love, and I won’t tell you that again.”

The tension is high, and both our eyes are flooding. I pull my gaze from hers, slowly shaking my head. When her thumb catches one of my tears, I cover her hand with mine and squeeze it. “We want a baby, Jude. Tristan wants medical school. We can help each other out, and she can be the cool aunt. I would want her in its life.”

I swallow hard. I want this, I do, but something is holding me back. “She’s okay with this? I don’t want you to get your hopes up and she changes her mind.”

“Jude, when they asked if she wanted to know what the baby was, she said no. I asked if she was sure, and she said she didn’t want to know. I’m telling you, she isn’t messing around. She wants this.”

I blink and swallow hard. “And you’ll be happy? Even though we didn’t make this baby.”

She nods slowly. “Will you?”

“I will if you are,” I say as a promise. “All I want is for us to be happy. But, Claire, these last three years have been rough. I don’t want her backing out and crushing you.”

She swallows visibly. “I know, but maybe this is the answer to our prayers. And I honestly don’t think she will change her mind.”

Our gazes stay locked as our labored breathing fills the room. It all seems too perfect and I’m honestly terrified, but I’d do anything for this woman. I take in a quick breath as I reach into my pocket. “I’ll call our lawyer.”

“I’ll get Tristan.”

She jumps up, and I bring my brows in. “Where is she?”

“In the car,” she gushes as she runs to the door.

“What if I had said no?” I laugh, mostly at her excitement.

Her blue eyes dazzle. “I wouldn’t let you.”

* * *

And that is why I love her more than anything.

Claire never settles for anything less than exactly what she wants. I lace our fingers together, and she squeezes mine. “No matter what, Claire. We got this.”

She nods. “I’m just worried what Tristan will say about the move, and I can’t leave her right now.”

I nod quickly, sitting up so that my elbows hit my knees. I hold her hand, swirling my index finger along the palm of her hand. “I know I said you should stay here, but really, I only have to go for a little bit. A week at most. I gotta go sign papers and shit. Meet my coach, some of the players. I can even look at some houses while I’m there. The second she goes into labor, I’ll come back home—”

She gives me a look. “This isn’t our home.”

I lean my head into hers. “Claire, my home is where you are.”

Her lips tip up again as she kisses my top lip. “Same here.”

I don’t move away from her as I say, “Jace, Avery, and the kids will be close.”

She shoots me a blank look. “They’re in Fort Lauderdale. We’ll be in Tampa.”

“Close. Kinda. It will be good for the baby. You wanted him to grow up with family,” I remind her, and I’m rewarded with another small smile. She’s not happy, but at least she’s not upset anymore. “We’ll be sorta close to Nashville where the rest of the family is.”

“Sorta.”

I squeeze her hand in mine. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll win this like we do everything else.”

She nods. “I’m scared what Tristan will say.”

I can’t let her know that I am too. I lean back, pull out my phone, and dial Tristan’s number on speaker. When her raspy voice fills the line, Claire looks down at our hands.

“Hey!”

“Hey there. What are you up to?”

She scoffs. “Currently doing squats to evict your kid. He’s stubborn, FYI.”

“Great. He’ll take after his mom.” I tease, and Claire grins. “Listen, I’ve got some news.”

“Good or bad?”

I shrug with a small grimace. “In between?”

“Oh, well, let me sit down, then,” she says, and since she is about to pop, I can literally hear her lowering herself onto the couch. “Tell Claire she isn’t missing anything with this crap. Being pregnant is for the birds.”

The look on my wife’s face says otherwise. “You’re on speaker. She’s here.”

“Oh,” Tristan says slowly. “So, this isn’t good.”

“I don’t know. It’s a hit, I think.”

“A hit?”

“Yeah, like when a defensemen knocks you into the boards—”

“Jude, you told me you were gonna send me Hockey for Dummies. I’m still waiting for my copy.”

I grin as Claire laughs softly. “I’ll get it for you.”

“Good, but get on with it. Rip it off like a Band-Aid.”

Our gazes lock, and tears well up in Claire’s eyes once more. “I got traded to Tampa Bay. With their embarrassing loss to a wild card team after winning sixty-two regular season games, they need yours truly to switch things up.” I’m rambling. I know I am, but I’m terrified.

“Traded? So, what? Like, you guys will move away?”

“Yeah,” I answer, closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose. “I’m not sure when, but before the start of the season.”

She pauses. “Oh.”

“Yeah, it’s sudden, I know.”

“Yeah, it is.” She exhales heavily. “So, are you saying you don’t want the baby?”

“No!” Claire shouts. “We want him. We so want him, Tristan. It’s not that at all.”

“Oh. That’s good ’cause I really don’t know what I would have done.”

She laughs, but Claire and I don’t. “But it means that unless you want to move with us, you wouldn’t be around the baby much. Unlike what we promised,” I say, and I’m nervous how she’s gonna react.

“Oh.”

“You can still visit,” Claire insists. “And you’ll still be Auntie T.”

Tristan doesn’t answer right away, and I find that I’m holding my breath. “About that…” Tristan starts. “I don’t know… I don’t think I want him to know about me.”

“What? No, that’s not right,” I say quickly. “He will know about you.”

“But I don’t want him to resent me,” she says, and I can hear the emotion in her tone. “Like I hate my dad for running out on me.”

“Yes, but you’re not running out on him. You’re giving him a better life than what you can give right now.” Claire looks at me, tears streaming down her face. “You’re giving us a gift we can never repay. Please let us tell him you did that for him and for us,” I stress.

“We don’t want to lose contact with you, Tristan,” Claire says softly. “You’re a part of our family.”

We’re met with silence, and my stomach turns over. I know, for someone else, this is the ideal situation, but I don’t want that for our baby. He’ll be ours, but he will know about Tristan. How she made our dreams come true. “I want him to know how strong, how smart, and how selfless you are, Tristan. Seriously. Don’t take that away from us. From him.”

“I don’t want him to hate me,” she whispers.

“He won’t. He’ll love you just as we do,” I promise. “Honestly.”

“Okay,” she finally says after a moment. “I’m terrified, guys. This shit is legit crazy.”

I laugh as Claire cries out. “Amen, sister, but we’re in this together.”

“Thank God. I couldn’t do this without you two.”

And we couldn’t without her.

New Beginnings

Jude

“So, what did you think of everyone?”

I walk through Claire’s and my potential kitchen before glancing back at my baby brother, Jace. On my shoulders is my nephew Jamieson. He looks like a carbon copy of Jace—nothing like Avery, but then, neither does Ashlyn. Avery jokes she was just a carrier, and it’s true, the Sinclair genes are strong. Dawson looks a lot like Baylor, but at the same time, Louis is Jayden made over. Even my twin nephews, Max and Ryder, look like Lucy. Thankfully, Benji got one kid out of the four. Charlotte is a girly little version of her dad. Thinking of everyone makes me miss them. Good thing we’ll all be together soon to celebrate my son.

Wow. My son. I’m going to have a son.

A grin covers my face as Jamieson holds on to my forehead, resting his head on mine. Every time I see the kid, he does this. “First impressions were good. They were excited to have me.”

Jace looks through the pantry. When I told him I had been traded, he offered to drive up from Fort Lauderdale to help me look at places. Avery and Ashlyn are off in Nashville for some singing benefit, so it was perfect timing for Jace. He was bored, and Jamieson missed me. I missed the little bugger too. Maybe my brother a bit also.

“J,” Jamieson says. “Why don’t you move in with us?”

I laugh as I tap his hands on my head. He’s been calling me J since he could talk. Don’t know why, but I find it endearing. “I gotta live in Tampa, buddy. You can come visit Claire and me whenever you want.”

I don’t have to see him to know he’s smiling. “And the new baby?”

“And the new baby,” I say proudly.

Jace glances back at me. No longer is he the young, snot-nosed kid; Jace is a man now. A family man. He loves his wife and kids and works his ass off to make them happy. While most hockey players post Instagrams of themselves doing lavish things, my brother is at swim lessons with Jamieson and violin concerts with Ashlyn. I didn’t know how much I would enjoy watching him grow. I’m proud of him. If I’m honest, I’m also a wee bit jealous. “Have you guys decided on a name? Avery and Lucy are getting pissed. They can’t get anything monogrammed without a name.”

I laugh. I know this. They both text Claire daily. “We want to wait to see him first. Though, Claire likes Phillip River.”

He smiles. “After two men who didn’t even raise you two. That says something about them.”

“They’re the best.”

He laughs hard. “Phillip punched you!”

I grin. “I deserved it. I was a jackass.”

“Ooh, J, you said ass.”

I scoff. “So did you.”

“And now you’re both grounded. Great parenting, Jude.”

I shrug, which makes Jamieson giggle.

Jace doesn’t seem to think we’re funny, but he also doesn’t seem very upset. “So, Tristan was good with the move?”

“Yeah,” I say as I open the cabinets. Jamieson shuts them once we thoroughly look through them. “She doesn’t seem very concerned, really. I think she’s trying to ghost the situation. Us. Like, she thinks the baby is payment for all we did for her.”

Jace shrugs. “Can’t blame her. She’s eighteen. She doesn’t want a kid, and not everyone is Avery and me.”

I nod in agreement. They were young when Avery got pregnant with Ashlyn. I was honestly worried they wouldn’t make it, but they did—and then some. I remember apologizing for doubting them a while back. Jace didn’t care, though. He knew he and Avery were it. “I know, but I really would love for her to be in his life. She’s been a blessing.”

“True, but maybe that’s the end of her blessing. Giving you guys this awesome gift, and then she goes and does her. Maybe it’s hard for her.”

I didn’t think of it that way. “I hear you.”

“What does Claire think?”

“She feels the same way I do.”

I open the back door to the large backyard. I can already see a swing set and a hockey goal. I can see our kid, running around and growing right before my eyes. The crazy thing is, I don’t just see him. I see another one. Two little boys, being crazy. Maybe Claire will find a surrogate for us. While I’m just fucking happy we’re getting one kid, I really want two. Maybe even three. Wow, I’m being greedy. Maybe she’ll be open to adoption since we’re adopting this one.

“Good backyard.”

“Yeah.”

“I think you should let it play out,” Jace says then. I look over at him, a little confused. “The whole Tristan thing. If she wants to be involved, let her. If she wants to ghost, let her. She’s young, and it’s a lot at once. With everything she’s been through, she needs time.”

I swallow hard. I didn’t think of it that way, but I know Claire is attached to her. I don’t think she would let Tristan ghost us. Since she was a troubled teen herself, Claire is all about helping kids with backgrounds like hers. She didn’t get pregnant back then, but she sure did make some bad choices before she went to live with her uncle, Phillip. I have no clue how a hockey player raised such an amazing woman, but Phillip gave me the woman I married, and I’ll forever be grateful to him.

“I’ll talk to Claire.”

“I think that’s for the best,” Jace agrees, and then he claps his hands together. “I don’t know about you, but I think this is the best house we’ve looked at.”

I nod in agreement. “Claire loves it ’cause it’s one level.”

“Exactly, and it’s also close to the rink.”

“Yeah, this is where a lot of the guys said to buy.”

“Cool. I think this is a good place to make a home.” I glance over at him as he smacks my back, lovingly. “I am really happy for you guys.”

I wrap my arm around his neck, pulling him in like he’s still a baby. I lean my head into his, and Jamieson holds him too. It may suck that I’m uprooting our lives in Minnesota, but I’m excited for new beginnings. I’m stoked to be close to family, but most of all, I’m excited to become a dad.

* * *

“How was the baby shower?”

On the other end of my FaceTime, Claire is packing away the gifts she received today. We finished the nursery decoration two weeks ago, but you couldn’t tell now. It’s completely bare, as is most of the Minnesota house. Claire gets things done, and when it’s time to move, she’s ready. Even working so hard getting everything completed, she still looks absolutely perfect. Her hair is in wide curls, pinned to one side. She’s wearing a blue maxi dress that hugs her body, though I only know that because I saw the pictures on Instagram.

Clare had her baby shower with the Wild team wives. She had been excited for today, hoping to get the missing things we needed. By the looks of it, she may have, but she’s also been crying. I understand, though. She’s friends with these women, and they’ve been girlfriends for over five years now.

“It was really nice,” she says sadly. “Everyone is sad I’m leaving, but they’re excited for us.”

I figured. “Did you get everything we needed?”

She nods. “Yeah, they bought out our registry, which is awesome, but we still need a stroller.”

“I think my mom is getting that.”

“Awesome,” she says as she packs some clothes. “He won’t need clothes until he’s four.”

I smile. “I’m sure you’ll still buy stuff.”

“Probably,” she jokes. “Have you heard about the house?”

“Not yet. The real estate agent said should be tomorrow.”

“Nice.” She leans back, crossing her legs as she looks down at the phone. “Has Jamieson changed a lot?”

“Yeah,” I laugh. “He’s huge, with big ole green eyes like Jace. He also uses the word ‘perplexed’ a lot. It’s funny. He’s like ‘Dad, you’re perplexing me.’ Apparently, Avery has one of those word-a-days or something, and he takes it seriously.”

She grins. “Did you see Ashlyn?”

“No, she was off at some benefit with Avery in Nashville. Also, from what my mom is saying, she and River are gonna come and help us when we move.”

She lets out a long breath. “Reese and Phillip offered too.”

“Hell, might as well have everyone come and help. I’m sure we’ll be overwhelmed.”

“Yeah,” she agrees with a small smile. “I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow.”

“Fertility or other?”

“Fertility.”

I lick my lips as I lie back in the bed, feeling a lot guilty. “I’m sorry I’ll miss it.”

She waves me off. “It’s okay. You have that luncheon, right?”

“Yeah, but text me anyway and tell me what they say.”

She smiles grimly. “Maybe they’ll say I’m pregnant.”

I grin at her. “Well, that would be the icing on the cake.”

She nods, and I know she has a lot going on in her head. She’s done anything and everything to get pregnant. She gave up carbohydrates on her doctor’s orders and also upped her fat intake to change things up. It’s something new that our doctor has observed helps women get pregnant. It would be awesome if it worked.

“Yeah, I think so too.” Claire leans on her knees, her long hair falling along her shoulders. “So, you still want to try?”

“Um, baby,” I say eagerly, “I want to have sex with you, a lot.”

She snorts and I smile. “Good to know.”

“And if it happens, it does.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

Our eyes meet as she folds a little jacket, and I say, “We’ll keep looking at surrogates, or maybe look into adopting another.”

Her eyes glaze over. “So, you want more kids?”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong. I don’t know shit about parenting, but I think we’re going to do okay. Shit, Jace could barely care for himself, and he’s got two kids and a wife. He’s actually doing great, too.”

She laughs. “Leave him be. He has always been a good guy.”

“Spoiled.”

She rolls her eyes. “All of you were.”

She isn’t wrong. We had money growing up, but when my dad left us for his new wife, Mom struggled a little bit. We’re not close to my dad, and I think we’re all better off that way. Especially since we have River. He’s a great stepdad. A great man.

“I am having lunch with Tristan after my appointment.”

I nod. “Let me know how that goes too. Have you talked to her since I left?”

“We talk every day,” she says simply. “She’s in pain, hates being pregnant. But her due date is Friday, and they think she might go earlier.”

“Hopefully she can wait until I get home.”

“I hope so,” she says, optimistic but excited.

I clear my throat. “So, I think you should give her an out.”

Her eyes snap back to mine. “What?”

“Tristan. I was talking to Jace, and he thinks that if she wants an out, we should give it to her. It’s been a lot, Claire. With her leaving that douchebag and then being pregnant, I think she needs to let this part of her life go.”

Claire doesn’t seem to agree. She has that furrow in her brow. “But don’t we want the baby to know her?”

I shrug. “What if he doesn’t? Would it be so bad?”

She blinks as tears gather in her eyes. “I don’t know.”

“We’re still his parents, no matter what we decide, but I think we should respect her.”

She doesn’t look at me; she keeps folding the same jacket. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”

At least she’s willing. “Let me know.”

“I will.” But she looks sad. I hate that. I want to wrap my arms around her, smother her with kisses. Hell, try to make a baby. Over and over again. A grin fills my face as I drink in the elegant image that is my wife.

“Hey, gorgeous,” I say, and when she looks up, she’s grinning. “I love you. So damn much, and I’m sorry you’re having to pack without me.”

She shrugs, though her grin stays intact. “Part of this hockey wife gig.”

“You’re the best hockey wife ever.”

She beams. “Because I love the best hockey-playing man ever.”

And damn if I’m not one lucky sonofabitch.

The Next Hit

Claire

I hate how nervous I get when I come to our fertility center.

My skin always breaks out in gooseflesh, and my heart never goes below a hundred and twenty beats per minute. According to my Fitbit, I’m working out when I come here. I don’t know if it’s nerves that get me or if it’s just pure fear. Maybe both? I hate letting Jude down. Hell, I hate letting myself down. I’m not used to losing. I’ve worked very hard my whole life. I somehow stayed alive when my mom couldn’t care for me, and I stayed untouched by the nasty men she would bring home. I survived. When Phillip got custody of me, I didn’t think he could care for me. He was a single hockey player, he liked the fast life, and he sure as hell didn’t want to care for a kid. He proved me wrong, though. He has been my rock since I came to him. He gave me the tools I needed to succeed, and I used them to make a great life. I made some bad decisions here and there and felt as if I failed or let someone down, but it never felt like this.

The feeling of being ripped to shreds because you can’t give your loving husband a baby.

It’s torture.

I inhale deeply as I kick my feet back and forth from where I am sitting on the exam table. While I am nervous about seeing my doctor, I’m more nervous about seeing Tristan today. That doesn’t happen a lot. I’m usually really excited, but Jude’s comments kept me up all night. I played out every single scenario in my brain. If Tristan was involved, if she wasn’t, and everything in between. I get what Jude is saying, but I worry that she would regret it. That she would miss the baby. Or maybe I’m thinking only what I would feel. I miss my nieces and nephews like a part of me is absent, and they aren’t even mine. This is Tristan’s child, and she doesn’t want to be a part of its life? I can’t comprehend it.

But then, he won’t be hers—he’ll be ours.

I know people do this a lot. Young women who want better for their children, but with Tristan, I want to feel it’s different. I want her to care, to be involved. But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I don’t think she wants to be. It freaks me out, and it’s going to be a hard conversation, but I need to speak to her about it. I just wish Jude were here with me.

I hate when he’s gone. I miss him terribly, but it’s the name of the game. The good news is that they accepted our offer on the house, and we close in a couple weeks. It frightens me to think we’ll be bringing a baby on a plane and then to a brand-new house that neither of us has lived in, but that’s our life. That’s our normal, and our boy will adjust. He’ll adjust because we love him. I don’t even know him yet, but I’m so in love with him. I can’t wait to be a mom. But most of all, I can’t wait to see Jude as a dad. My ovaries always feel like they’re going to explode watching him with our nieces and nephews. He’s gorgeous as all hell.

When the door opens, it brings me out of my head, and my gaze settles on Dr. Livingston. She is a young doctor, around my age, and has been with us since the beginning. A small smile sits on her face as she pushes her chestnut hair off her shoulders.

“How are you feeling?”

I nod, my fingers squeezing the shit out of each other. “Good. I’m following the keto diet hardcore, like you asked, and I only tried to kill Jude twice when he came home with a Snickers.”

She snorts, but she isn’t smiling like I want. “That’s wonderful, and it shows. Unfortunately, you’re not pregnant. But the great news is, you are ovulating.”

You’d think by now I’d be used to those words, but every time, it’s like a brand-new stab wound to my chest. I even knew I wasn’t pregnant—I took a test last night—but fresh tears still burn my eyes. Wait. I’m ovulating?

“I am?”

“Yeah,” she says happily. “Everything is looking really good. Your lining and uterus look strong. Way better than it had been looking, which is why I wanted you to try keto. The research on what it does for infertility is pretty impressive.”

“So, I could get pregnant on my own?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t want to promise that.” She sits on her stool and scoots toward me, leaning forward. “Listen, I know you guys are adopting, so we can wait, but what about another round of in vitro?”

My stomach drops. We’ve been through four rounds, and I lost each baby. Sometimes multiples. Not being pregnant is one thing, but losing babies… Man… That’s a whole different kind of hell. Especially when you pay so damn much money to get it done, which is why we were looking for surrogates.

“Is it a better chance than last time?”

She looks over the chart again, and then she leans over to turn on the iPad. Soon, the ultrasounds of my uterus are showing. She moves her fingers along the screen, explaining what she thinks, but it’s all mumbo jumbo to me. I just want her to look at me and tell me it will work, that we’ll get pregnant, but I know she can’t do that. Man, I wish Jude were here. I hold my hand up as a tear slides down my cheek.

“So, we’d do it now?”

She nods. “I have both samples. We can do it today.”

“Now?”

“Now. I think it could work.”

“Could?”

“I give it solid seven-in-ten odds.”

More tears. “You’re not screwing with me?”

“No, I’m serious.”

I swallow hard. Our baby boy will be here any day now. Are we sure we want to do this now? “Can I call my husband?”

“Of course.”

I open my phone and dial Jude’s number. He answers after the third ring. “Sorry, I’m at this lunch. I had to excuse myself for the bathroom. Are you okay?”

“I am.” My voice is weak. “Dr. Livingston wants to do another round of in vitro.”

“What? Why? It hasn’t worked.”

“I’m ovulating.”

“No way.”

“Yeah,” I say, breathless. “I know the baby is gonna be here any day now, and I know we’re moving—”

“Do it.”

My heart tries to explode in my chest. “Really?”

“Yes. I’m so sorry I’m not there, but do it.”

“But the baby? The move?”

“They’ll hopefully be nine months apart. Irish twins. Close like Jayden and me. We got this. It’s you and me, gorgeous. We got this.”

I cover my mouth to keep the sob in. “What if it doesn’t work?”

“But what if it does?” he stresses. “I love you, Claire. I love you so much. Do it.”

I close my eyes as more of my tears leak out. I don’t have to think long before the word leaves my lips. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he says on a sigh. “I love you, gorgeous.”

“I love you,” I say as everything tingles.

Dr. Livingston cups my knee with a grin on her face. “Okay. Let me get everything going.”

Oh my God! What if this works?

* * *

“How do you feel?” Reese asks.

Giddy. I feel fucking giddy. The grin on my face is permanent as I drive toward the restaurant where I’m meeting Tristan. Our lunch has now turned into an early dinner, but she didn’t mind. She did some homework from what she said, but I didn’t tell her why I was running late. I want to tell her in person. I did tell Reese, though. As soon as I got off the phone with Jude, I called her, and being the great aunt she is, she’s as excited as I am.

“I feel great. I think this might be the time.”

“Oh, Claire, I’m so excited for you. I hope it is. I want it to be. So much.”

“Me too,” I gush. “Can you imagine, two babies? When we’ve only wanted one for so long?”

“It would be a blessing.”

“Seven-in-ten odds are awesome.”

“Very awesome,” she says, happy for me. “Is Jude excited?”

“So excited. He isn’t even nervous. He keeps telling me we have this, no matter what.”

“He’s right. Not only do you have him, you have a huge family that is here for you two.”

I’m grinning so hard, my face hurts. “I know, and I just feel good about this. I’m not even the least bit nervous.”

She sighs joyfully. “You don’t know how happy that makes me.”

I pull into the parking lot. “What are the boys doing?”

“Flynn is at practice, and Sawyer is out with friends. You know, being boys and giving their mama a heart attack.”

“How’s the dance studio? What happened with that one crazy mom?”

“Eliza? Lord, Claire. I wouldn’t even know where to start. She’s fake to everyone’s face but then cuts them down behind their backs. It’s insane. I told her if she doesn’t stop stirring up drama, I’ll ask her to leave.”

I shut the car door and lock it, a grimace on my face. “Ack. That’s not good.”

“Eh, it is what it is. Competitive sports brings out the crazy in people.”

“Yup.” I pull the restaurant door open. I see Tristan immediately, devouring a piece of bread. “Hey, I just got here. Can I call you later?”

“Of course. Love you.”

“Love you,” I say before I hang up and tuck my phone into my pocket. I head toward the table just as Tristan sees me. Her face lights up, and I beam back at her as we embrace. She doesn’t get up; her belly won’t let her. It’s huge, and she looks miserable. Tired. Very tired. Her hair is up in a curly, messy bun, and she’s wearing a dress that is stretched to the max at her stomach and a pair of house shoes. God bless her.

“Feet hurt?” I ask as I sit down, and she nods.

“None of my shoes fit, so here we are,” she says grumpily. “I’m so miserable. Can you call my doctor and make him take this kid?”

We share a laugh as the waiter comes to get my drink order. Tristan is ready to eat, so she orders as I look. Once our orders are placed, the waiter heads off as I lean on the table. “So, you’re ready?”

“So ready.”

“It should be any day now.”

“I hope so,” she says as she shifts to the left. “Did you guys get the house?”

“We did,” I say happily.

“Is that why you were late?”

I shake my head, and my grin is back. “Actually, I was at the fertility clinic.”

She lights up. “Shut up! Are you pregnant?”

Once more, I shake my head. “No, but apparently things looked really good, so my doctor suggested in vitro again.”

Tristan smiles. “Did you do it?”

“Yeah,” I say with a grin. “Jude is hoping we have Irish twins.”

She furrows her brow. “What’s that?”

“Siblings born within the same year.”

She wrinkles her nose playfully as she smiles. “That’s so cute! Oh, I hope you do get pregnant. Though, I don’t know how you’re gonna do pregnancy and raise this kid.” She points to her stomach, and I hate the disdain on her face.

“I’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah, you’re a boss. You got this. Man, I hope it works out.”

I nod excitedly as I take a long sip of my water. “Me too.”

I watch as her face changes. “You’ll still love this baby, though, right? Even if you have one of your own?”

I take her hand instantly. “Oh, yes. He already has my heart.”

Relief fills her features. “Good. I was so excited for you, I didn’t even think about that until just then.”

She reaches for another hunk of bread as I take her in. She’s such a baby herself, and I remember being her age. I couldn’t fathom having a kid then. I was so immature and wild. I squeeze her hand, and soon, her caramel eyes meet mine.

“What’s wrong?”

I blink back my tears as I inhale shakily. “We’ve been thinking and talking a lot about what you said the other day.”

Her brows come together. “I say a lot of things. What is this about?”

“About not being in the baby’s life.”

She looks away, drawing her lip between her teeth.

“I feel like you’re gonna try to ghost us, Tris. Jude thinks maybe we should let you.”

She still won’t look at me. “I don’t want to ghost you because I love you. You’re like the older sister I always needed,” she says softly. “But I don’t want to be a huge part of his life.” She finally looks up at me. “Like, I know you want me to be his aunt and be there for birthdays and holidays, but I don’t want that. I want to watch from afar. I still want to talk because, like I said, I love you and Jude. But I want him to be completely yours. I don’t want to get my feelings involved, and I don’t want him to hate me.”

I swallow past the lump in my throat as I gaze into her eyes. “I want to tell him about you.”

“I know,” she says softly. “And I know you have to. I don’t want him hating you when he’s older for never telling him, but I don’t want him to want to know me. He can know about me, but I honestly don’t think he will want to get to know me, especially if I’m not in his life. He’ll have a great set of parents. Why would he want the mom who gave him up because he’s a constant reminder of the man who beat her?”

My heart drops into the pit of my stomach. “Oh” is all I’m able to say.

“I have full faith that you guys are gonna raise this baby amazingly, and he’s going to be wonderful. He’ll have the life I could never give him, and he’ll be loved by two people who are honestly the best people I know. He doesn’t need me. He only needs you and Jude.”

Tears gather in my eyes. “I don’t want to lose our friendship.”

She shakes her head. “Never. Like I said, I’ll watch from afar, and it’s gonna be so awesome. You two are made to be parents, and knowing I get to help your dreams come true only makes me want to make mine come true so I can feel what you do. I don’t think you realize how much you’ve helped me. Emotionally, physically… I owe it all to you two.” She laces our fingers together before covering our hands with her other. “I am excited for you, for Jude, and especially, this kid. He’s so damn lucky.”

“To have a mom like you,” I say, emotion clear in my voice.

“No, to have a mom like you,” she says softly.

I stand up and wrap my arms around her, and she hugs me tightly. I know what we just agreed on here, and I know it’s probably for the best, but my heart hurts. I really wanted her to be in his life, but I’m realizing that was just a made-up scenario in my head. Tristan doesn’t want to be a mom, but I do. I want to be a mom more than I want to breathe some days. It’s a terrifying thought but a fulfilling one.

One I’m ready for.

The Test

Jude

Claire is rambling.

“I was talking to Reese, and she offered to live with me while you’re gone if I am pregnant. Wouldn’t that be awesome? Phillip said he’d come too, and I thought we can give them the bonus room, and then the boys can sleep on the couch ’cause they’re teens who don’t care as long as there is a hockey goal outside and PlayStation inside. And then if this is a boy, we can have them share rooms. Though, I guess the new one could sleep in our room for a while. Wait… Maybe we shouldn’t name the baby River Phillip. Maybe we should name him River something else and then save Phillip for the next baby? What do you think?”

I think she’s driving me up the wall. In our hands, we’re holding her phone with a timer going. We have 1:52 left.

I press my nose into her cheek. “I think whatever makes you happy will make me happy. Jesus, Claire, you’re making me nervous.”

She laughs hysterically. “I want this so bad.”

“I do too, but remember, there is a chance—”

“No, Dr. Livingston felt positive, and so do I. I feel different, Jude, like it worked. I’m so excited.”

Which is what has me on high alert. She’s convinced, but I know the reality. I know she has been making such an effort, cleaning up her diet and working out more. She follows the doctor’s orders to a T, but there is still that chance we aren’t able to make our own babies.

“I am too, baby. I am,” I reassure her. “But please promise me you won’t let this rock you if it isn’t positive. Our new son will be here any day now.”

She nods, though I don’t see the promise in her eyes. “By the way… Tristan said she feels like it’s gonna happen today. Wouldn’t that be amazing? We’re pregnant, and our baby comes today?”

I lean into her once more as I watch the seconds continue to count down. “Yes, baby, it would,” I whisper against her cheek. I feel her body vibrating with each thump of her heart. She’s uber focused on her phone, and I’m thankful she waited for me. She could have taken the test two days ago, but she promised to wait for me to come home. Just like our son has. I feel for Tristan; she’s four days overdue now, but it’s all working out. It may have seemed up in the air at the beginning, but I really feel like things are going our way now.

That we’re truly living our happily ever after.

When the timer rings, I jump just as she does. She hops up off the bed, and I follow her into the bathroom where the test is lying on the counter.

NOT PREGNANT.

My stomach falls, and I instantly look at Claire’s face to see the tears in her eyes. “But—”

“Baby,” I urge, taking her in my arms. She leans into my chest, but she clings to the test. “Remember what the doctor said. It may not show on the test, but when we go back in for the blood test, it could be positive.”

“But…” She inhales deeply. “But every single time, the test always read pregnant. Even when I lost the babies. What the hell? I really thought I was pregnant.”

She throws the test at the mirror, and it ricochets off and flies behind me, into the tub. I gather her in my arms as she digs her face into my chest, her body shaking violently with sobs. “Claire, these tests aren’t always accurate. You know that. Don’t let this get to you. We said we would wait the two weeks for the blood test.”

She pushes me away, shaking her head. “But it’s supposed to be positive. I feel different, my boobs ache, I even felt a bit nauseated last night. What the fuck does that mean if it doesn’t mean I’m pregnant? Is it in my fucking head?”

The tears that flow down her face are like knives to my heart. “I don’t know, Claire. I don’t. But it’s okay. We can try again if the blood test comes back with the same results. Please breathe.”

I come toward her when she starts to hyperventilate. This isn’t the first time—more like the ninth—she’s had this type of reaction. I was preparing myself since I told her to do the in vitro without me, but now I wish I had asked her to wait. I was being selfish. I wanted her to get pregnant so I could make her happy. I run my hand down her back as she gasps, her tears falling onto the bathroom counter in rivers.

“I’m just so tired of this. I feel like such a failure. I can’t even do the one thing I was put on this earth to do. Procreate!”

“Pretty sure that’s not the only thing, Claire. I mean, look at what you’ve done for the kids at the dance studio, the shelter. For me. Claire, I would be lost without you.”

She shakes her head. “No, I’m bringing you down. I can’t even give you a baby, carry on your name or anything. I’m worthless.”

I close my eyes. Her words hurt. I grab her by her shoulders, whipping her around so our eyes meet. “Stop this right fucking now.”

“You don’t understand how I feel!”

“The fuck I don’t, Claire. I can’t get you pregnant—apparently the one thing you want more than anything! How the hell do you think that makes me feel?”

“It’s not only you,” she screams, her eyes wild. “It’s all me. They took your sperm, shoved it in my egg, and nothing. Fucking nothing! I don’t feel like a woman. I feel like a waste of space. I don’t even know why you’re staying with me.”

My eyes narrow into slits, and I know I should walk away. She’s not thinking; she’s just upset. I should let us both cool down, but I refuse to let her keep feeling that way. “So, you’re saying a waste of space completes me? That a waste of fucking space brings me more joy than a sheet of ice? That my day starts and ends with thoughts of you. I feel like a newlywed, Claire, because I love you so fucking much.”

“I don’t deserve it,” she mutters, shaking her head.

“You deserve it all,” I stress, squeezing her shoulders. “This waste of space you claim to be is about to be a mother to a kid whose parents do not want him. He is about to have a good life because you want him. He’s not even here, you’re not even growing him, and you love him. So, I’m sorry, but you’re not a fucking waste of space! This is a step backward in the baby-making department, but not in how much I love you or need you in my life, Claire. Not in how much River Phillip, or whatever the hell his name is going to be, needs you.”

Her lip quivers as a sob leaves her chest. “I don’t want to let you down.”

“You’re not,” I urge, taking her face in my hands. “The only way you let me down is by speaking of yourself like that. I love you. I love you so damn much. I don’t need anything but you. Kids are added bonuses ’cause I get to watch you be a mom and fall in love with you all over again.”

Her hand covers mine as I try to wipe her tears away. “I love you, Jude.”

I kiss her then. Hard and with all of myself as we cling to each other. As we part, I slide my nose along hers, kissing and moving my lips with hers. “I love you, Claire. We are okay. It’s not even a for-real negative.”

“The test says it can tell five days sooner.”

“The test is shit, and I don’t care what it says. Until the doctor tells me no, then I’m not going to stress. Wanna know why?”

“Why?”

“Because, in all honesty, it doesn’t matter. We tried again because we could. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, then we try again or find a surrogate. When you’re done with it all, then we’re done. But during all that time, we’ll be raising our son.”

Her eyes are swimming in tears as she nods. She swallows hard as she leans into me, kissing my top lip. “Okay.”

“Okay,” I agree as I kiss her once more, and then I hear her phone ringing. “Is that your phone?”

She lets me go to rush to it. “Tristan? Hey!” I watch as her eyes widen. “You’re at seven, and they just broke your water? Oh my God. We’re on the way.”

She hangs up the phone and then looks at me, fear, excitement, and nerves floating in her blue depths. “Tristan went in for a checkup and has apparently been contracting all night. She’s at seven. We gotta go.”

I feel a little dizzy. “Ten is when the baby comes?”

“Yup,” she says, grabbing the bag she’s packed for the baby. She looks back at me, her brows shooting up. “Let’s go.”

“Get our baby.”

Her eyes light up. “Yeah.”

She reaches for my hand, and I take hers.

And we leave to go meet our son.

* * *

When Claire opens the door and I see a screaming Tristan on the other side, my stomach drops. I thought this would go slowly, but apparently, from what Claire gathered on the way here, there wasn’t time for drugs, and Tristan is about to do this all natural. Not sure how I feel about that, but it isn’t my body or my choice. I just want her and the baby to be safe. From the sounds of it, I don’t know if that’s gonna happen.

God bless her, this must hurt, because her screaming is at a level I’ve never heard before. Claire rushes to Tristan’s side quickly as the nurse asks for our names and verifies who we are. As I get a name tag slapped on my shirt, I look around the room to find only staff, Tristan, and Claire. I was sort of hoping Tristan’s mom would have shown up, but Claire wasn’t really sure if Tristan had told her mom or not. Maybe she’s in the waiting room where our lawyer is waiting.

Holy shit. This is really happening.

Claire is on it, holding Tristan’s hand as I stand there like a complete idiot. Things are moving around me, they’re setting up a table, and there is a lot of talking around the screaming. Tristan looks terrified and sweaty. Claire is stunning and ready to take charge. Then there’s me, just standing here.

“Scoot to the edge of the table.”

Tristan does as the doctor asks, and I get one hell of a view of a vagina that is not my wife’s. I let out a little cry of distress before I rush to the other side of Tristan. “Just saw more of you than I wanted.”

“And I don’t even care,” she yells, and I nod as she suddenly takes my hand. “I don’t care what you see or feel. I need you to hold my hand.”

“Done.”

It all goes so damn fast. Everyone is moving, Tristan is screaming, Claire is a supportive rock star, and I feel lost. This woman isn’t my wife, and I feel awful for her. She’s all alone. She only has us, and she’s giving us her baby. Something clicks inside me, and I jump into action. I hold her leg, her hand, and tell her how strong she is. I thank her as the tears fall from her eyes, and then she starts to push.

“You’re doing so awesome, Tris. You’re almost there,” Claire urges, and when our eyes meet, my heart swells. She’s so excited. So beautiful. Jesus, I love her.

“You got this, Tristan. You’re kicking ass,” I cheer, and then I hear it.

The cry.

One from Tristan and then one from the bloody, wiggly little human she expelled from her body. The doctor holds up my son and shows us. Tears gather in my eyes as my body shakes with nerves. That’s my son. I look at Claire just as she looks at me, and soon, we’re both crying.

He’s perfect.

The doctor goes to lay him on Tristan’s chest, but she stops him. “No, his mom wants to do skin-to-skin.”

His mom.

I’m his dad.

The doctor doesn’t miss a beat and nods before I’m handed some scissors. Through tears, I cut the cord, and when I look at Claire, she’s taking off her shirt with no cares in the world. They wipe him down and then hand him to Claire, his face resting against her chest as he cries. I wasn’t so sure about this skin-to-skin thing, but Claire is all about it, and apparently it’s good since his cries are slowing down.

I walk around the bed to Claire, and I wrap my arms around her as we look down at him. We’re both sobbing messes, but even so, we have grins on our faces. His eyes are a dark brown with a head full of dark brown hair. From what Tristan said, his birth father is of Latin American descent. Our boy’s got olive skin and is freaking adorable. Chunky little thing. I move my finger along his cheek, and one thing is for sure.

I’m completely in love with him.

Claire looks up at me, and her beautiful blue eyes glisten with tears. To see her there, holding a baby and looking like she’s won the lottery, I just knew it. I lean into her, and I kiss her forehead.

“Told ya.”

She brings in her brows. “What?”

“I told you I would fall all over again for you.”

A wide grin comes over her face, and then our lips meet.

Our son lets out a little cry, and I hold my family close to me.

In an instant, I know what completion feels like.

Our Angel

Claire

He’s absolutely perfect.

He has the longest brown lashes I have ever seen. His dark brown eyes are beautiful against his olive skin. He’s got an adorable little button nose and thick pink lips that I know he inherited from Tristan. My heart is full and soaring in my chest as I gaze down at him, moving my fingers along his cherubic cheeks. Everything from before—the negative pregnancy test, the stress of not giving Jude a baby—all of it doesn’t matter. It’s a distant thought because I am in love with my son.

Our son.

I gaze up at Jude as he looks down at our baby lovingly. Boy, do I love this man. He is so strong. Such a pillar in my life. I don’t know what I would do without him. Sometimes I start to feel worthless, but I know I’m not every time our eyes meet. He loves me unconditionally. I reach up a hand, cupping his jaw that is dusted with hair, as our eyes meet.

“I love you.”

His eyes darken, and he leans his temple into mine. “I love you.”

He kisses the side of my head and exhales. The doctors are cleaning up Tristan, and I want to be with her, support her, but I don’t want to let this perfect boy go. I hold the baby close as I look over at her. “You okay?”

She gives me a thumbs-up. “Getting the placenta out. It’s the next part, according to that stupid book you bought me. You happy?”

“Beyond.”

She has tears in her eyes as she nods. “Great. Skin-to-skin it up while I finish this.”

Jude chuckles softly. She’s a damn rock star. “Do you want to hold him?”

“Nope. Skin-to-skin, remember?”

Our eyes meet for a moment before she looks away, and I know that’s not it. It kills me that she doesn’t want to hold him, but he isn’t hers. He’s ours. I really thought her mom would show up, and it breaks my heart that she didn’t. Tristan could have used the support before we got here.

Jude moves his nose along my temple and says, “Name?”

I smile as I gaze down at the baby. “I don’t know that he is a River Phillip.”

Jude nods. “I was thinking the same.” He takes the baby’s hand, and his little fingers wrap around Jude’s. “I was always a fan of Harrison.”

“Oh, I did love Harrison.”

“Harry for short.”

“It’s so classic and adorable.”

“So,” he says slowly. “Harrison River Phillip Sinclair?”

I smile, loving it. “It’s a mouthful.”

“Yeah, but I think I love it.”

Tristan cries out a bit, and when I glance over to her, she’s giving us a thumbs-up. “I love it. Harrison. It’s good. Wholesome. He’ll be smart with that name.”

I shake my head as Jude laughs. I look down at my sweet Harrison and sigh. “Hello, Harrison. Mommy loves you so much.”

“So does Daddy,” Jude says then, and something inside me breaks. The waterworks start, and I hold Harrison closer to me. Jude wraps his arms around my waist, his hand coming to the back of Harrison’s head, and I close my eyes as the tears leak out. Jude leans into me, his lips at my ear. “Don’t you say you’re worthless ever again. We need you, all of you.”

I nod slowly as the tears drip off my chin. “Thank you. Really, Jude. For everything.”

He kisses my earlobe. “I married you for you. I love you because I want to. Nothing will ever change that, and don’t act like you haven’t been there for me through every injury, every stupid thing with my dad, or anything else that gets me upset. That’s what is so great about us. We’re a team.”

I turn my head so our eyes meet. “Now we have another teammate.”

His eyes are misty as he nods. “Yeah, and we always win, okay?” His voice is rough, gutting me as our lips meet. I never in my life thought I could feel such love, but I’m shaking with it. I’m overflowing with it. All my dreams are coming true in this little bundle of preciousness.

But even so, I’m worried for Tristan.

* * *

“I knew the kid was big. But nine pounds… Jeez, he’s made to be a hockey player, huh?”

I smile over at Tristan from where I am sending pictures to our family and updating my Instagram. They have taken Harrison for tests and to make sure he is totally okay. Of course, Jude isn’t leaving his side, and while I didn’t want to either, I knew I needed to talk to Tristan. “With a daddy like Jude, I’d say he’s destined.”

She nods as she brushes a curl out of her face. “That was awful, by the way. I don’t know if you want to do that.”

I cover her hand with mine. “My test came up negative today.”

She arches a brow. “I’m sorry. But there is still the blood test, right?”

I nod. “But I don’t feel confident about it.”

“I do,” she says, taking my hand with hers. “This will happen for you guys, and then I’ll come and tell you ‘I told you so. Shit hurts.’”

I laugh as I lace our fingers together. “Are you okay?”

“Well, my vagina still hurts, but yeah. I mean, I’m good. Tired.”

“Thank you, Tristan,” I say, my voice breaking. “I mean it. You have made all my dreams come true.”

She swallows hard as she nods. “I know, which is why this is so easy. He’s gonna be so much better off.”

“I will love him so damn much—”

“I know, Claire,” she says, cutting me off. “I know you’ll love him for both of us.”

My heart breaks. “So, you haven’t changed your mind about being in his life?”

She shakes her head, catching a tear with the back of her hand. “From afar. I don’t want to catch feelings for him when he isn’t mine. He’s yours.”

Tears start to fall down my cheeks. “I will always be here for you.”

She waves me off, a small laugh coming from her. “I know, Claire. Stop looking at me like I’m mental. I promise, I’m good. I also promise I’ll go to counseling. I swear to you, though—I want this. I want this for him, and for you and Jude.”

“Tristan?”

We both look to the door where a large guy is standing. He’s unsure of himself, but he locks eyes with Tristan. He’s tall, with olive skin, dark eyes, and thick black hair. My stomach drops as I stand, feeling the anxiety coming from Tristan.

“Ricky,” she gasps, sitting up and pulling the blanket over her body. “What are you doing here?”

He hooks his thumb behind him, and such rage fills me. This asshole put his hands on the angel who gave me my son. “I had to sign the papers. But before I did, I wanted to talk to you.”

My first instinct is to cuss him out, even yell and kick him out of the room, but Tristan’s hand stops me. “There is nothing to discuss. My lawyer spoke with you.”

“I know,” he says, and then he pauses. “Can I come in?”

No is what I’m thinking.

“No, you’re fine where you are,” she says, and I’m proud of this girl.

No, not girl—this badass woman.

“Okay,” he says softly, more unsure of himself. “What is it?”

“A boy,” she says quickly. He looks at me, but then he looks away very quickly since I’m glaring at him like he’s dog shit. “This is his mom.”

He looks down at the floor. “So, you don’t want to keep him?”

“No. He deserves parents who want him. Who can love and support him. We can’t do that, nor do I want to be attached to you.”

Ricky glances back at me. “Can I see him?”

“He’s in the nursery,” I say curtly. “My husband is there, and he doesn’t like you.”

“Why do you want to see him? He isn’t yours,” she snaps. “Just go sign the damn papers and leave him alone. Let him have a good life.”

He shakes his head before looking back at her. “I’m sorry, Tris. For everything.”

She takes in a deep breath, and her eyes start to fill with tears. “If you’re sorry, go sign the papers and leave all of us alone.”

Without another word, he turns and leaves the room. Once he’s gone, I wrap my arms around Tristan as she does the same to me. She sobs into my chest as I hold her, brushing her hair back as I wish her tears away. I hate him for what he did to her, but if he hadn’t been in her life, Harrison wouldn’t be here. “You are so strong.”

“I will never allow myself to be hurt by a man again. I have to be strong.”

“You are.”

She smiles as we part. “I learned it from you.”

My heart shatters in my chest as I gaze into her eyes. “I love you, Tristan, so much. Thank you for this. You are the angel in our life.”

She squeezes me. “No, Claire. You and Jude have been the angels in mine,” she says, pulling back. “Seriously, my life would be a mess without you two.”

“We love you,” I say, cupping her face.

Her eyes are swimming in tears, and they hurt me. I want to stay here in Minnesota and help her, be there for her, but I know she won’t let me. She’s strong, she’s independent, and she’s brilliant.

“I’m going to be okay.”

“I know,” I say, and I grin. “You were reading my mind, huh?”

She smiles back. “I know that look, that mothering, I have to help her look. I love it, and I swear it’s what assures me that Harrison needed you.”

My heart swells, almost knocking the breath out of me.

“I remember looking into your eyes and being like, ‘Man, this chick can do anything and save the world. She needs to be a mother.’ And now you are.”

I can’t breathe or even speak. I wrap my arms around her, and she hugs me tightly.

When there is a knock at the door, we part to see Jude coming in with a white bundle tucked in his arm. “I broke him out. They kept poking him and shit. It was rude.”

Tristan laughs as I wipe my face. When she looks up at me, her brows come in. “What?”

“Can we have a picture of the four of us?”

A slow smile covers her pretty face. “Yes, of course.”

She hits the call button as Jude hands Harrison to me. A nurse comes in, and Tristan asks, “Can you take a picture of us?”

“Yes! I would love to.”

I sit on the side of the bed, and Tristan leans into me as Jude comes to cuddle in close to us. Tristan reaches over, moving the blanket out of Harrison’s face, and then she looks up at me. “He’s gorgeous.”

“He’s perfect,” I agree, and she grins, tears in her eyes.

“You guys are going to be the best parents in the world.”

“Because of you,” I whisper, and then I lean my head into hers.

We then look at the phone Jude has handed the nurse, and once I hear the click of the camera, I know this picture is going in the living room.

For it’s of the day our dreams came true.

Harrison River Phillip Sinclair

Jude

“You’re like two weeks old. How are you shitting so much?”

There are only half of the wipes left in the box, and I have two diapers on my shoulders. One that I’ll mess up and then the one that will work. Naked as the day he was born, Harrison looks up at me with his dark eyes, probably trying to figure out what the hell I am doing.

Makes two of us.

“Poo-poo!” Claire yells from the other room, and I roll my eyes as my son looks up at me like he knows I have no clue what the fuck is going on.

I don’t.

You’d think with all the practice I’ve had with my nieces and nephews, I’d have this. Truth is, I’ve never changed a diaper. I didn’t tell Claire that, though. I just YouTubed a few things and demanded to be a daddy. I have to get in where I fit in because when I leave for the road, this will all be on Claire, and I want the experiences. I want it all.

I’m a fucking dad.

So cool.

I wipe the shit that is still coming from my son’s ass and let out a long sigh. “I thought you were done shitting.”

“Poo-poo!” she yells more sternly, and at this point, I’m about to throw this poo-poo at her.

“Babe, I’m a hockey player. One, I do not say poo-poo. And two, cuss words are sentence enhancers!” I holler back at her. “I’ll teach you all the good ways to use them, don’t worry,” I assure him.

He farts. Loudly. He isn’t the least bit worried… And look, more shit.

“On the ice only, buddy. Harry will be a prince.”

He pisses on me. I yell out as I throw a wipe over his privates. I point to him. “That is not very royal, mister.”

Though, I can’t help but grin. I love him. Shit, piss, spit up, everything, I love the little bugger. I lean down, cuddling his head as I press my nose to his. His deep brown eyes meet mine, and I never thought I could feel like this. I love Claire. Like, love that woman more than I love myself, but with this guy, it’s bone-deep. He’s my dude. We’ll get to do everything together. We’ll get to hit the ice, we’ll talk girls, and I’ll teach him everything I know. He’ll want my bike, and we’ll hide it from Claire because she’ll freak. He’s gonna be the coolest kid on the planet, and I can’t wait to get to know him.

Gotta get through this shitting and pissing thing, though.

“Why did you use half the box?”

I look up to find Claire standing over us with her phone in her hand. “That’s for the ’gram ’cause the world needs to know how hot my husband is as a dad.”

I grin before kissing his little nose. “He keeps pooping. Are you sure he can drink some other chick’s milk?”

“Yes. It’s in all the books and research. Seriously. It’s gonna be so good for his body, and these amazing women pump just for people like us. It’s wonderful for him.”

I think it’s a wee bit weird, but Claire is very gung ho on it. I didn’t even know there were milk banks like that, but I haven’t researched the hell out of being a parent like Claire has.

That’s what makes her better than me.

I sit up as she cleans around me. “Babe, he shit on—”

“Ha! You said shit.” I smirk.

She glares as she pushes her strawberry-blond hair out of her face. “Shut up,” she demands as she shakes her head. “You got it all over the blanket again. They’re gonna kick us out of this hotel.”

“Which is why I said we should have stayed with Stacey and Ripp.”

She looks at me with a blank expression. “A pair of newlyweds? No way. I want them to have kids one day. It’s only three more days.”

Our house sold very quickly since one of the guys bought it. He said we could stay until after our doctor’s appointment since all our stuff is already in Florida, but Claire wants him to get married and have kids too. She’s all about people procreating. I’m all about being comfortable, but apparently that wasn’t a consideration when she decided two days after our son was born to bring him home to a Marriott. Good shit for the baby book, though. Perfect hockey-kid kind of shit. Or, I mean, poo.

“You don’t need the whole box, baby,” she reprimands as she quickly moves around me, cleaning Harrison’s butt and diapering him like it’s her calling.

“Half. I only used half.”

I glare at her as she picks him up.

“One wipe, maybe two. Promise. You’re doing so awesome. Wait, is that shit in his hair?”

It is. “Poo,” I say, all sassy-assy.

“Shut the hell up,” she throws back at me as she heads to the bathroom.

“Oh, so we can say hell?”

She ignores me as the water starts, and I finish cleaning my mess. This shit is hard, and holy fuck, I’m exhausted, but I’m deliriously happy. As I toss my mess, I hear my phone on the counter in the kitchen. I jog out to it since it’s my mom’s ringtone. When I answer it, I hear a whole lot of talking on the other side.

“I have no damn clue. Look at the pictures Claire sent. Baylor, nobody got time for that mouth! Jamieson, baby, I love you more than life itself, but if you don’t get your little body off that white couch with those shoes… Didn’t anyone tell them you can’t have white stuff with kids? River, River, no! I said in the kitchen. Yes, thank you, Phillip. Get him under control—you know he’s old! Avery, get your kid, please! For the love of God, Jayden, Jace, can y’all act your age? Be an example for the boys! Jesus, this is a madhouse!”

I can’t help but laugh. “Mom?”

“Oh, sorry, honey. How are you?” she says calmly and very Autumn-like. “Lucy! We don’t have time for you to be changing things up. I want Claire to be happy when she gets here! We are making a home, people! Focus!”

I laugh some more. “Mom? What in the world is going on?”

“Well, you see what happened was, I decided to have everyone come and help get the house ready for y’all. It’s turned into a cluster of crazy people who all think they’re right when, really, only Reese and I are right.”

I grin. “You’re the best, Mom.”

Her voice breaks a bit. “How’s my baby?”

“He’s wonderful. Claire is a pro, Mom, I don’t even get it. I’m in awe of her.”

“She’s waited a long time for this,” she says softly, the background noise falling away. She must have gone outside. “Both of you have. I can’t wait to meet him. I love him so much already.”

“He shits a lot, and Claire won’t let me say shit.”

She laughs. “Well, she’s right.”

“Whatever,” I say with a crooked grin.

“How’s Tristan? Have y’all talked to her?”

“Yeah, we actually went to see her yesterday. She’s a damn rock star in my eyes, and she’s doing good. She still won’t hold him.”

“That’s probably for the best. For her, at least.”

“I think Claire really wants a picture of them together.”

“She might not get it.”

“I don’t think she will,” I say softly, and I know that breaks Claire’s heart. She wants so badly for Tristan to care, to be a part of Harrison’s life, but I don’t think it’s gonna happen. Tristan’s detached herself completely, and I respect that. I love her for it. It means Harrison is truly ours. But unfortunately, Claire doesn’t see it that way.

“When is the doctor’s appointment?”

“Tomorrow,” I say, and I feel my gut tense up a bit. “Not looking forward to it.”

“So, you don’t think she is?”

“No,” I say softly. “She hasn’t been sick. She’s tired, but that’s from being up with Harrison and all.”

“Yeah,” she says gently. “I’m sorry, baby. I know you guys were hoping it would happen this time.”

I shrug. “To be honest, I just want her to be happy. She hasn’t really talked about it, and I think that’s for the best. We’ll go, they’ll say no, and we’ll start fresh in Florida. Our doctor has found us a center that she thinks is as good as hers, and we’ll start going there. Though, I think we’re really gonna buckle down and find a surrogate.”

I hear her swallow. “Is it bad that I’m holding out hope she is pregnant?”

“No,” I say with a chuckle. “I think a part of me is hoping too.”

She exhales heavily. “I love you, Jude, so damn much. You’ve always been my favorite.”

I laugh. She says that to all of us. “I love you, Mom. Thanks for being so supportive and for helping with everything.”

“Of course,” she says eagerly. “I want this to be a smooth transition. Though, Lucy might be the death of me. She is trying to redo Harrison’s room.”

“Let her. Who cares?”

She laughs. “You have a soft spot for your sister.”

“She’s wonderful.”

I can hear the smile in her voice. “All of you are.”

I hear a sliding door before my brother-in-law Benji’s voice comes over the phone. “Hey, Mom, things are getting spotty in here. They’re ganging up on Reese.”

“Oh, Jesus, come and take me now,” she mutters, and I laugh out loud.

“Go get ’em, Mom.”

“Tell Claire I love her, give that baby loads of kisses from his Mimi, and I’ll see you guys in a few days.”

“Love you, Mom.”

“Love you, darling.”

The line goes dead, and I tuck my phone into my pocket. When I turn, Claire is there with Harrison in her arms, watching me. Harrison is clean, dressed, and looking pretty damn perfect, way better than he did when I was in control. I sigh dramatically. “Can you teach me your ways?”

She grins as she walks into my arms, cuddling close as I lay a hand on the back of Harrison’s head. “You’re doing wonderful.”

“I suck at this.”

“No, really, baby,” she says, looking up at me and nuzzling her nose in my unshaven cheek. “You’re doing great.”

I kiss her forehead, running my thumb along the back of Harrison’s neck. I exhale, feeling complete. I kiss her once more, my lips at her ear as I whisper, “Did you hear me on the phone?”

“I did,” she says softly. “I love your mom.”

“She’s your mom too.”

She nods but doesn’t say anything. “I’m nervous about the appointment ’cause I’m pretty sure I’m not.”

“I know. Me too.”

She kisses the top of Harrison’s head. “I’ll be sad.”

“I know, but I’ll love you extra hard to make it a little better.”

She leans her nose into my jaw. “Good. I need you.”

“Funny… I need you too.” Our eyes meet, and we smile widely at each other. “I love you, Mama.”

She grins harder, her eyes glazing over. “I love you, Daddy.”

Claire kisses my lips, and I revel in her kisses. I crave them. I always have. When we part, I kiss her nose before we look down at Harrison.

“And we love you.”

“So damn much,” I say, ignoring the dirty look from my wife. “Sentence enhancer! He knows I mean business in the love department.”

She laughs as she rolls her eyes. “We all do.”

And we always will.

Coming Home

Claire

Tristan: I’m so glad you guys landed. Good luck on your new adventure. I miss you already.

Me: I miss you! How’d that final go?

Tristan: Good, I passed somehow.

Me: ’Cause you’re a genius. Duh!

Tristan: LOL, hardly. But yeah, I’m good. Ready for the break, though, before fall session starts. Oh, my mom said thank you for the pictures of Harrison.

Me: Oh! Good. I’m glad she got them. She didn’t answer me.

Tristan: Yeah, she’s being weird about it all, but I don’t care. I told her we don’t need to talk about it, that we need to work on us.

Me: Agreed. She’ll come around, and I’ll send pictures until she asks me to stop. Same with you.

Tristan: I won’t ask for that. I’m so happy for you and Jude. You two look so damn happy in every post.

I look over at Jude as he drives to our new house. He has a stupid beanie on in the middle of summer in Florida, but that’s my husband. He loves that damn thing; he even bought some for Harrison. So now they match. It’s so fucking adorable, it brings me to tears. Harrison is in the back, sleeping soundly like he did for most of the flight to Florida. It was an easy flight, thankfully. I was nervous but so full of love, I can’t stand it. Tristan is right. We are happy. Beyond, even. The happiest I’ve been in a long time.

Me: We are. I’ll send you pictures of the house.

Tristan: Awesome. Oh, I think I’m gonna move back home.

Me: Tristan! That’s wonderful!

Tristan: Yeah, save some money and really focus on school.

Me: Great plan. I’m so proud of you.

Tristan: Couldn’t have done it without you and Jude. I am so incredibly happy for you and can’t wait to see what life has in store for you three.

My heart swells.

Me: Funny… We wouldn’t be where we are without you.

Tristan: The Good Lord above works like that, huh?

Me: He sure does.

Me: I love you, Tristan. Thank you.

Tristan: No, thank you. I love you too. Text me pictures.

Me: I will.

I set my phone in my lap, and when Jude grabs my hand, I look over to see him watching me. “She good?”

“She’s great. She’s gonna move back home.”

He nods with a look of relief. “Wow, that’s fantastic.”

“I thought so too.” I lace our fingers together as I watch palm trees and people in bikinis walking around. This is gonna be a huge change from where we were, hanging out in the cold all the time. It’s all going to be so different. But I can deal with anything as long as I’m with Jude. And now, Harrison. Our perfect little angel. Jude brings my hand up to his lips, kissing it softly, and a sigh leaves my lips.

“Warning… Mom says everything is chaos, but the house is good.”

I smile. “I can’t wait for the chaos. Harrison is gonna be so loved.”

He nods firmly. “So damn loved. Jamieson is stoked. He told me yesterday he wants to hold him first, but I’m pretty sure Angie and Ashlyn will have something to say about that.”

I nod. “True. Though, Sawyer and Flynn might want to hold him first. They are the oldest.”

He shakes his head. “Those boys don’t care about babies. If we were bringing home a new stick, then yes, but not a baby. They just want to see Auntie Claire.”

I laugh. “Probably. I am their favorite.” I squeeze his hand. “You know who’s getting him first.”

He looks to me, and we smile as we say, “Mom.”

Autumn will make sure of that. I doubt we’ll even get in the door before she has him out of his car seat and into her arms. Reese will probably fight her for him, but Autumn won’t care. I’m so excited to watch it all. I have waited so long to be the one to bring a baby home to the family. Our family is so big, so wonderful, and everyone loves so hard. I’m not even home yet, and I’m already in tears. It’s all going to be perfect.

“I’m excited.”

Jude nods. “Me too,” he says, kissing my hand once more. “We’re gonna have a great life, Mama.”

“We are,” I agree as I lean my head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I was so upset at first.”

“Don’t be. It was a lot of change, and we sure as hell didn’t think things would work out like they have.”

“Exactly,” I say, loving that he can read my thoughts and know what I am feeling. “I am beyond happy, though, Jude. Seriously.”

“So am I, gorgeous.” He winks at me, and I grin. “Mostly because I am married to your fine ass.”

I laugh. “Whatever. It’s the baby.”

“Well, duh.” He nods with a laugh. He turns his head, kissing my forehead as he turns into a residential area. The houses are large, fancy, and of course, it’s where Jude picked a house for us. I wanted to be on the water, and this was the neighborhood he found for us. It’s gated and very safe, which is good for when he is gone. I’m usually fine when he’s on the road, but with a new baby, I’m a little nervous.

So much change, but sometimes, change is good. In this case, it’s been the best change of our lives. Scary, but the best.

When we turn onto a road, I see a billion cars in front of a house, and I know it’s ours. Thankfully, Mom made sure to leave the driveway open for us, and when we pull in, the house takes my breath away. It’s a nice white-stucco home with bright-red shutters and door. On the door is a wreath with our last name in it. That’s Lucy’s doing, I’m sure. I smile as chills run through my body.

“Welcome home, baby.”

I lean over, meeting Jude in the middle for a long, lusty kiss. He tangles his fingers in my hair, and everything catches on fire. But that’s kissing Jude; he lights me from within.

Always has, always will.

As I step out of the car, Jude gets Harrison. I walk around the car as Jude walks toward me, holding the car seat. I hold up my phone. “Let me take a picture!”

He rolls his eyes, completely over my picture-taking, but I don’t care. These are memories! I snap one of him grinning while Harrison sleeps soundly. “Got it!”

He laughs as he takes my hand, and we head toward the house. Everything is so peaceful around us, and I can’t wait to sit on the back porch with a cup of coffee and my baby in my lap. When I hear chatter, loud chatter, Sinclair chatter, I look at Jude, and he shrugs. “I think everyone is in the back.”

I nod as he opens the door for me, and I walk in. A huge sigh of relief leaves my lips when I see the house is completely set up. No boxes, no signs of moving whatsoever. It’s all like it was back in Minnesota, and it almost makes me cry. I love my family.

“I owe our family so much.”

Jude takes my hand. “No way. This is what family does.” A grin takes over my face as he looks over at me. “Let’s go check out Harrison’s room.”

“But—”

“They’re fine for a second. Plus, I want to take him out of this carrier so my mom doesn’t grab for him.”

I laugh as he leads me down the hall. All our pictures from over the years are hanging on the walls of the hallway, just as I would have done it. Our wedding, him winning the Cup, me at the dance studio, and even some of us from college. Family pictures, all our nieces and nephews, and a few candids of us with friends. Our life in pictures. I’ll need to get some prints of Harrison, but I have time.

When I reach the end of the hallway and see the huge photo of us with Tristan and Harrison on the day he was born, my breath catches.

“Oh.”

Jude grins. “Lucy’s doing.”

“I love her,” I say softly as he pulls me into Harrison’s room. Man, my sister-in-law is a genius. The room is decorated in a nautical theme. Anchors are everywhere, and above his white crib is his name in rope. Beside it are two quotes, “For this child we prayed.” and “Your first breath took ours away.”

“I really love your sister,” I say as my voice breaks.

I cover my mouth while he smiles. “Yeah, she really did a great job.”

I look around at all the shots of us with Harrison over the last couple weeks. Lucy made sure to use this space to celebrate our gorgeous son. It’s perfect. When Jude stands, Harrison makes a disgruntled noise, but Jude laughs. “Get used to it, buddy. You’re about to meet everyone.”

“Yup,” I agree, wrapping him back up in his blanket. I go to take the beanie off Harrison’s head, but Jude smacks my hand away.

“Leave it. We’re twins.”

My heart can’t take it. “It’s hot.”

“And you’ve got him in a blanket,” he challenges, and I roll my eyes.

“Fine,” I say, taking the blanket off, and Jude cuddles him to his chest. Of course, it’s the perfect picture, so I take one despite my husband’s annoyance. “Get used to it.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he mumbles as he kisses Harrison, and we head out of the room. As I walk through the house, I marvel at how perfect it all is. I owe Lucy anything she wants. All she’ll need to do is ask. When we reach the sliding doors at the back, my face breaks into a huge grin. Our whole family is out there with balloons that read “Welcome home!”

“They went all out.”

“That’s how we do things,” Jude says, sliding the door open, and when everyone sees us, they start cheering and yelling. Soon, we are wrapped up in hugs and kisses, and I’m whole. So damn whole. As I expected, Autumn gets Harrison first, and while I watch her gush over him, tears fill my eyes. She’s so happy, like it’s her first grandbaby…when really, it’s her ninth.

“Well, aren’t you the cutest little thing in the world?” she asks, and I lean into Reese as she wraps her arms around my neck, kissing my head.

“I’m so proud of you,” she whispers in my ear, and yup, the tears start.

“He is absolutely perfect, Claire,” Autumn says, cupping my face. “We are all so proud of you. This baby is going to be so loved.”

“He’s everything we didn’t even know we needed,” I gush as I wipe a little dribble from his lips. “Jude is a mess. He doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing.”

They both laugh. “He’ll learn. But you, you’re a natural.”

I wipe my cheeks. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

“The greatest things are worth the wait,” Reese says, kissing my cheek.

When Phillip comes over, he pulls me into his arms, kissing my forehead. “I love you, kid.”

I cuddle deep into his chest. “I love you.”

He holds me as we look down at Harrison, and I can’t describe what I’m feeling. Soon, Harrison is passed around, and as I assumed, he is adored. Everyone gushes over him—the girls love him to pieces, and even the boys make a big deal over him.

When Lucy gets him, she kisses both his cheeks, and I see the tears in her eyes. “I am so happy for you guys.”

“Thank you,” I say as emotion chokes me. “The room is perfect.”

“Oh, I’m so glad. Jude gave me the green light. Mom was trying to block my creativity, but I knew what this little dude needed.”

I nod. “You did. Thank you.”

She doesn’t take her eyes off Harrison, completely in love with him. “The perfect room for the perfect gift from above.”

When Jamieson finally gets to him, his little eyes widen in amazement of the baby. “We’re gonna be best friends.”

I nod. “Yup.”

“We have to wait to play hockey with him, right?” Jamieson asks me, and I nod again.

“Just a little bit. Maybe a year.”

He nods with a determined look on his face. “I’ll teach him everything I know.”

“Oh, good. You’re the best and all,” I say, hugging him to my side.

He nods happily, and then Autumn takes Harrison once more. Jude stands on one side of her as I do on the other. When our eyes meet, I nod, and he grins.

“Hey, Mom, did you see his shirt?”

Autumn furrows her brow. “His shirt?”

Jude takes him, and I come around so that I can flatten it for her to read. Her brows draw in even more, and then she screams before she wraps her arms around me.

“What?” Phillip yells, and Reese comes over. She looks at me as chills run through my body and my heart pounds in my chest.

“Really?” she asks.

I nod, and she covers her mouth.

“What?” Phillip asks again, and she turns to him so he can look too.

With his eyes focused, he reads aloud, “I just got here, but I’m being promoted to big brother.”

When my uncle looks at me, his eyes glaze over as everything clicks. I nod, my own tears streaming down my cheeks. He lets out a cry of relief before he pulls me into his arms, holding me close. A sob leaves my lips as he holds me. “Oh, Claire.”

I nod against his chest. “I know. I can’t believe it either.”

“We both can’t,” Jude laughs, and when I look at him, he’s crying too. “We were both convinced it was negative. But the doctor came in and said it was positive and her levels were high. We even took another test at the hotel. All positive.”

I wipe my face free of tears. “There is still a chance—”

“No,” Autumn says, stopping me. “This is God’s work. He did all this—all these changes and all these blessings. That baby is coming, and we are gonna have baby number ten. Right, River?”

River wipes his face as he hugs Jude. “Right. I feel it.”

I do too.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy in my life,” Reese cries, and then everyone is crying.

Jude pulls me into his arms, and as I look around, seeing everyone crying and showering us with love, I honestly don’t know how I can be so blessed. Jude looks down at me as his hand slides over my belly, and my lips tilt. I want to believe that this baby will stick and we’ll have it in nine months. But if it doesn’t, I know we’ll be okay because we have each other. Each day we have together is a blessing, a miracle, and I am so lucky to have found the man who loves me unconditionally.

“I don’t think I could be any happier,” I say, and he bends his head down to mine, kissing my nose.

“Me either, Mama,” he whispers, his green eyes burning into mine. “I look at you, I look at Harrison, and all I hear right now is that song playing in my head.”

I look at him quizzically. “What song?”

“The one I sang to you at our wedding, ‘All of Me.’”

My lips curve. “Really?”

“Yeah, and Claire, no matter what happens, no matter how many changes are thrown at us, all of me loves all of you. All of Harrison, and all of the new baby.”

My throat is thick with emotion as I cup his face. “I have never felt such truer words.”

He moves his nose against mine. “I love you, Mama.”

With no hesitation at all, I whisper, “I love you, Daddy.”

And just as our lips meet, Harrison lets out the loudest fart known to man.

We smile so big as we look down at the wide-eyed baby who is all ours, and Jude kisses my head.

“I’ll try not to use the whole box.”

I squeeze his jaw. “You got this.”

He doesn’t look convinced, but I believe it.

Because he never lets me down.

THE END

Keep going for more info on upcoming releases!!!!!

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WILD TENDY IS COMING!!!

What is a Wild Tendy? Well a NHL GOALIE who may be a wee bit wild!

Who is the Wild Tendy for the IceCats? That’s easy… NICO MERRYWEATHER!

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Also by Toni Aleo

NASHVILLE ASSASSINS

Breaking Away

Laces and Lace

A Very Merry Hockey Holiday

Wanting to Forget

Overtime

Rushing the Goal

Puck, Sticks, and Diapers

Face-off at the Altar

Delayed Call

Twenty-Two

In the Crease

Nashville Assassins: Next Generation

Dump & Chase

Bellevue Bullies Series

Boarded by Love

Clipped by Love

Hooked by Love

End Game

IceCats Series

Juicy Rebound

Wild Tendy (COMING THIS SUMMER!)

Taking Risks

Whiskey Prince

Becoming the Whiskey Princess

Whiskey Rebellion

Patchwork Series

(Paranormal)

Pieces

Broken Pieces

Spring Grove Novels

(Small-town romances)

Not the One

Small-Town Sweetheart

Standalones

Let it be Me

Two-Man Advantage

Misadventures

(Standalones)

Misadventures with a Rookie

Misadventures of a Manny

Assassins Series

Taking Shots

Trying to Score

Empty Net

Falling for the Backup

Blue Lines

Acknowledgments

A HUGE thank you to you. For reading this book!

Thank you to my family and friends.

Thank you to Lisa, my amazing editor; my fantastic betas, Heather, Jessica, Laurie, Susie, Nikki, Franci, and Althea; and my out-of-this-world cover designer, Lori. You guys made this book everything it is.

I hope you enjoyed this awesome little short story. Make sure to preorder Wild Tendy!!!!

Love,

Toni

About Toni Aleo

My name is Toni Aleo, and I’m a #PredHead, #sherrio, #potterhead, and part of the #familybusiness!

I am also a wife to my amazing husband, mother of a gamer and a gymnast, and also a fur momma to Gaston el Papillion & Winnie Pooh.

While my beautiful and amazing Shea Weber has been traded from my Predators, I’m still a huge fan. But when I’m not cheering for him, I’m hollering for the whole Nashville Predators since I’ll never give my heart to one player again.

When I’m not in the gym getting swole, I’m usually writing, trying to make my dreams a reality, or being a taxi for my kids.

I’m obsessed with Harry Potter, Supernatural, Disney, and anything that sparkles! I’m pretty sure I was Belle in a past life, and if I could be on any show, it would be Supernatural so I could hunt with Sam and Dean.

Also, I did mention I love hockey, right?

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