Deacon (Starkis Family #1)
Author: Cheryl Douglas
Date: 2015-06-14 23:00:00+00:00

Table of Contents

- Chapter One
- Chapter Two
- Chapter Three
- Chapter Four
- Chapter Five
- Chapter Six
- Chapter Seven
- Chapter Eight
- Chapter Nine
- Chapter Ten
- Chapter Eleven
- Chapter Twelve
- Chapter Thirteen
- Chapter Fourteen
- Chapter Fifteen
- Chapter Sixteen
- Chapter Seventeen
- Chapter Eighteen
- Chapter Nineteen
- Chapter Twenty
- About the Author
- Other Books by Cheryl Douglas
- Coming Soon

Deacon

Book One in the Starkis Family Series

Cheryl Douglas

Copyright © by Cheryl Douglas

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, including photocopying, graphic, electronic, mechanical, taping, recording, sharing, or by any information retrieval system without the express written permission of the author and / or publisher. Exceptions include brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Persons, places and other entities represented in this book are deemed to be fictitious. They are not intended to represent actual places or entities currently or previously in existence or any person living or dead. This work is the product of the author’s imagination.

Any and all inquiries to the author of this book should be directed to: info@cheryldouglasbooks.com

Deacon © 2015 Cheryl Douglas

Deacon

When Deacon Starkis sets his sights on the gorgeous young model gracing the pages of his glossy catalogue, he knows he has to have her. One problem. She’s not available. But that won’t stop Deacon. He’s a man used to getting what he wants and he wants Mia.

Mia is stunned when she receives an email from the elusive billionaire who owns the lingerie company she models for. He tells her he’s intrigued. He’s not the only one. But she knows she’d be a fool to throw away an eight year relationship for a brief affair with the head honcho. He doesn’t do relationships and she doesn’t do casual sex. It seems they’re at an impasse.

Who will come out on top in this battle of wills? The dominant one or the woman intent on teaching him the meaning of submission?

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Chapter One

Mia

Deacon Starkis first targeted me when I began modeling for his lingerie company six months ago, but the emails didn’t start coming until after he’d seen the proofs for his new spring catalogue.

That was when he decided he had to have me.

Just thinking of his suggestive comments gave me wicked chills. I didn’t know if I should be offended by his remarks or honored that a man who could have any woman wanted me.

But there was one little problem: even if I’d wanted to act out his fantasies, I couldn’t. I was living with my boyfriend, Drew. But that didn’t seem to faze Deacon. He knew I wasn’t available, but still he persisted. He sent me gifts and flowers anonymously, as though I wouldn’t know they were from him. No one else I knew could have afforded a five-hundred-dollar bouquet of flowers, diamond jewelry, or couture gowns.

In the beginning, I’d tried to return the gifts, but that had only angered him. I couldn’t risk upsetting him. Alabaster’s catalogue was the most high-profile, well-paying job I’d ever had, and since Drew had returned to school to pursue a Master of Fine Arts, we needed the money more than ever. Still, I hated keeping our correspondence a secret. I’d never come face to face with the boss man, but I felt as though I was being unfaithful to Drew just by reading and responding to his emails.

“Did you hear a word I said?” Eleni asked, snapping her fingers in front of my face.

Eleni—or El, as I called her—had been my best friend since grade school. In fact, she was the reason I had pursued modeling. I never would have had the courage to walk into the Forbes agency ten years ago without her right by my side, ready to embark on the adventure with me.

“No, uh, sorry,” I said, sipping my green tea. “I must have zoned out for a minute.”

“You’ve been doing that a lot lately. Is something bothering you, girl?” She reached across the small table in our favorite café and squeezed my hand. “You know you can tell me anything.”

Oh, how I wished that were true. But Deacon had given me very explicit instructions. If I told anyone about our correspondence, I’d be breaking the sacred trust he’d placed in me, and he’d made it clear there would be consequences for betraying him.

“Is it Drew?” she prompted when I couldn’t meet her eyes. “Are you guys fighting again?”

Drew and I had hit a rough patch after he’d simply announced he was going back to school instead of discussing it with me so I could weigh in on his decision. I was the one paying all the bills, and I felt I had a right to help him decide whether that was the best option for our future.

At twenty-three, my runway career was all but over—not that it had been anything to write home about. I didn’t fit the mold of a quintessential runway model, and I’d practically starved myself for those jobs. That was why my agent had suggested I try modeling lingerie instead. He’d said I had the right look: toned, long blond hair, big blue eyes, and a “great rack”—as he put it. But for a conservative preacher’s daughter, the idea of posing half-naked was almost as appalling as the possibility of being homeless. Almost. In the end, I’d decided to trade my morals for a paycheck.

But I drew the line at selling my soul to a sexy Greek god intent on having his way with me. A girl had to know when she was in over her head, and everything I’d read and heard about the Deacon Starkis told me I was definitely playing out of my league.

“Drew is Drew,” I said, sighing. “You know how he is.”

“Yeah, a self-absorbed ass.” Eleni rolled her eyes. “I don’t know how you put up with him.”

It was no secret my BFF wasn’t my boyfriend’s biggest fan. They could barely be in the same room without one of them instigating a fight. Eleni thought Drew was using me, and Drew thought Eleni should mind her own business. I thought they should both trust me enough to make my own decisions about what was best for me. So we were at an impasse, with none of us willing to give an inch.

I smiled at my best friend. On the surface, she was my opposite in every way, yet she was still my soul sister. “I love him, El.”

“No, you don’t. You’re just used to him. You’ve been with him forever, and you’re afraid to get back into the dating scene.”

I couldn’t argue with that. I’d met Drew when Eleni and I moved to New York during our sophomore year of high school to pursue our modeling careers. He and I had been inseparable ever since. “You don’t just throw away an eight-year relationship on a whim.”

“But you don’t know what you’re missing,” Eleni said, digging into her chicken salad. “He’s the only serious boyfriend you’ve ever had, your only lover. You have nothing to compare him to.”

Eleni had always believed in playing the field, while I’d been content knowing I already had a good man. She was the outgoing one, and I was the shy, reserved one who was content to curl up with a good book while she closed down the hottest new club. That’s not to say she didn’t drag me along on some of her adventures. She did—too often for Drew’s liking. He said Eleni was a troublemaker who was just trying to break us up. While I was quick to jump to my best friend’s defense, I couldn’t deny that Eleni would have been standing on the table and applauding if I’d admitted I’d been thinking about taking a break from Drew.

“I don’t need to sleep around,” I said, peeling the lid off my Greek yogurt. Greek. That made me think of him. Of course Eleni was Greek too, but yogurt never made me think of her.

I glanced at my phone, noting I had a new text message. Deacon had taken to texting too, instead of just emailing, but he had yet to call me. Other than the video clips I’d seen online, I’d never even heard his voice. Yet he had infiltrated my thoughts, making it difficult for me to get through an hour without checking my phone. God, maybe he wasn’t the only one who was obsessed.

“Every woman needs to sample a few different flavors before she decides which one is for her,” Eleni said, slicking back her long, straight black hair into a low ponytail.

I rolled my eyes at her analogy. “Men aren’t ice cream. You can’t taste-test a bunch before you decide.”

“Why the hell not?” Eleni asked, raising her perfectly groomed eyebrows.

That reminded me that I had to make an appointment for a mani/pedi and wax. As Bernie, my agent, loved to remind me, my body and face were my money-makers, and I couldn’t afford to be complacent. Perfection pays, was his favorite saying. Eleni and I had the same agent, so we routinely mimicked him behind his back—or to his face, depending on the day.

I tried to focus on my conversation with Eleni, but my eyes kept drifting to my damn phone. We had a rule that when we were out together, nothing was allowed to intrude on our girl time, but ever since he’d started contacting me, I’d begun checking my phone so often my mother commented they should have had me tested for ADD when I was a kid.

“Well?” Eleni pursed her full lips. “What the hell is with you today? And don’t say nothing. I had more fun with that crackpot who studied astronomy in his spare time because evidently his job at the post office wasn’t boring enough.”

I giggled. She claimed she’d nodded off at the table when he went to the restroom, and knowing my friend, I couldn’t discount that possibility.

“I’m sorry I’m such lousy company today, hon. I was just thinking about this meeting I have with Bernie later. I wonder why he wants to see me. His message was kind of cryptic. ‘Be at my office at two o’clock. Don’t ask any questions, and don’t even think about blowin’ me off.’” I imitated Bernie’s gruff New York accent, earning a chuckle from El.

“Who knows with him? He’s such a drama queen.”

“Yeah, but I got the sense this was different.” I prayed I wasn’t losing my contract with Alabaster’s. Without the work from Deacon’s company, I’d be forced to move back to Earlville and live with my parents. Ugh. Just the thought of it made me break out in a cold sweat.

“I’m sure it’s nothing bad. You always think the worst.”

Only because I was usually disappointed when I let her con me into thinking the best. “I hope you’re right. I could use a little good news.”

“You’d have reason to be happy if you were single.” When I frowned, she said, “I’m just saying… look at you!”

“Sssh,” I said, my eyes widening when two guys at the neighboring table took her up on her suggestion. “Keep your voice down.”

“Excuse me,” Eleni said, tapping the shoulder of the guy next to her.

I closed my mouth around a spoonful of yogurt as I considered the penalty for stabbing my best friend with a butter knife.

“Do you guys think my friend here is pretty?” she asked.

Whatever the penalty, it would be worth it. “El,” I said through clenched teeth, “leave them alone. They’re trying to enjoy their coffee—”

“Definitely,” the one next to me cut in as he inched his chair closer to mine. “We were just talking about how gorgeous you girls are.”

It was thundering outside, and a flash of lightning streaked across the sky. Maybe a huge tree would come crashing down on the roof and force us all to run for cover, putting a merciful end to this humiliating conversation.

Buddy next to me draped his arm across the back of my chair as I leaned forward. He seemed oblivious. “So why haven’t we seen you around here before?”

“I guess our paths have just never crossed.” Lucky me. I pulled the zipper higher on my fitted black hoodie when I spotted him trying to sneak a peek at my cleavage as he leaned forward to get his coffee.

My phone rang, and I leapt out of my seat when Unknown flashed across the screen. For the first time in my life, I was grateful for telemarketers.

“Excuse me, I have to take this.”

Eleni muttered something about our agreement, but as far as I was concerned, she was the one who’d better hope I was still speaking to her after her little stunt.

“Is he bothering you?” the voice on the phone asked.

I hadn’t even had a chance to say hello before his commanding voice made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

“Deacon?” I cast a quick glance around the crowded café. “Is that you? Where are you?” I scanned every table, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“I asked you a question. Is he bothering you?”

Wow. That was the first time he’d ever spoken to me, and his voice was… captivating. If I’d thought his emails were salacious, they were nothing compared to his voice. His accent was thicker, more pronounced than I’d thought it would be, though that may have been because he seemed irritated. With me?

I chose not to rile him further by asking whom he was referring to. “No, he’s not bothering me.” I swallowed as my eyes skittered over every male in the room. Nope, no billionaire stalkers. “How do you even know where I am… or who I’m talking to?”

He chuckled a deep, rich sound that reminded me of sweet warm liqueur gliding down my throat. “You should know by now that there’s nothing I don’t know about you.”

My heart was racing. “Why are you calling? I thought you preferred to communicate by email or text.” Since he’d been emailing or texting daily for almost three months, I’d assumed his game would continue until he tired of it and moved on to his next conquest. Strangely, that thought left me feeling a little sad and then annoyed with myself for being sad.

“I thought it was time to step up my game. I can’t become too predictable now, can I?”

“I don’t think anyone could ever accuse you of being predictable, Deacon.” I leaned against the wall by the ladies’ restroom, unable to believe I was actually talking to him after all this time. What would he say? Would his comebacks be as quick and suggestive on the phone as they had been via text?

“I love the way you say my name, Mia.”

It occurred to me that I should call him Mr. Starkis since he was my boss, but that would have been too weird after all the things he’d said he wanted to do to me. Was that why he was calling? To put me to the test? I tried to ignore the insistent throbbing between my legs as I considered the possibilities. I’m so going to hell for this. “You didn’t say… why are you calling.”

“Maybe I just needed to hear the sound of your voice.” I heard a woman’s voice in the background before he snapped, “Can’t you see I’m on the phone? And remember, no one walks into my office without knocking!”

I heard a murmured apology before he cleared his throat. Yikes. No wonder he’d earned a reputation as a tyrant. He clearly felt that he ruled his corner of the world, and heaven help anyone who questioned his authority. I hated to admit I found that kind of hot. What did that say about me?

“Now where were we?” The difference in his tone when he spoke to me was almost comical.

I felt a twinge of sympathy for the poor woman who’d received his reprimand. “You were telling me the reason for your call.”

“It’s been a rough day,” he admitted. “A text or email just wouldn’t cut it today.”

I heard the weariness in his voice and was surprised, and kind of honored, that he thought anything I could say or do would make him feel better. “Anything I can do?” I knew it was a silly question. His problems probably revolved around multi-million-dollar deals going awry—something I couldn’t possibly understand.

“You’re sweet for asking.” He sighed. “So have you dumped him yet?” That was an ongoing joke. Every day he’d ask if I’d dumped Drew yet, and I’d tell him I hadn’t.

“No, Deacon.” I smiled as I rolled his name around on my tongue. It felt good to finally say it aloud. “I told you I have no intention of breaking up with him.”

“Hmm, we’ll see about that. You can only resist this for so long.”

I didn’t know if he was talking about himself or the growing attraction between us. Either way, I feared he may be right.

“What are your plans for the rest of the day?”

I heard his landline ring. “Do you have to go?”

“No, nothing’s more important to me than talking to you.”

He knew exactly what to say to make me feel all mushy inside—unlike Drew, who barely acknowledged me. Maybe Eleni was right. Maybe it was time to explore my options… starting with the sexy man on the other end of the line. But was I really ready to step onto that landmine? I knew he wouldn’t want to date me—he wanted to possess me.

“I was asking about your plans for the day…”

“Um, I’m going to meet my agent in a bit.”

“Right, Bernard.” Deacon chuckled. “He’s quite a character, isn’t he?”

“You can say that again.” The sound of his laughter made me smile. I sensed he didn’t laugh often enough. Everything I’d heard about him indicated he was commanding, serious, and ruthless, yet I’d come to realize he also had a playful side.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Dare I tell him? “I was just thinking it’s nice to talk to you after all this time. I’m glad you called.”

I heard the smile in his voice when he said, “I had to build up to it, start slow. If I had just called you out of the blue and told you I’d fallen in love with your picture, you’d think I was crazy.”

“Newsflash, Deacon, I do think you’re crazy.”

He laughed. “I think I am too… crazy about you.” His voice turned somber. “I can’t get you out of my head, Mia.”

I thought about telling him the feeling was mutual, but that was too dangerous. He’d acknowledged his interest in me from the beginning, but I’d never been brave enough to do the same.

“I guess I should go. It looks like Eleni is trying to get my attention.”

“I met your friend the other day,” he said. “Charming girl.”

“You met El?” I narrowed my eyes at my friend. Why the hell hadn’t she told me she’d met the elusive head of Alabaster’s? “When? Where?”

He laughed. “If you’re curious about it, you’ll have to ask her. I have a conference call to prepare for. I’ll call you again.”

“When?” I bit my tongue a second too late. The damage was already done.

“Anxious, are we?”

“No. Just don’t call me tonight. I’ll be at home.”

“With him?” His voice turned caustic, just as it had when he’d spoken to the insubordinate employee.

“Of course. We live together. Remember?”

“How can I forget? You keep reminding me.” He paused as though he was considering his words carefully. “Why don’t you let me set you up in a luxury penthouse downtown?”

“Are you serious?” I hissed, faking a smile at a girl who shot me a curious look when she passed me. “We’ve never even met. I don’t even know you. This is our first phone conversation, and you’re offering to turn me into your… your… what? Mistress?”

“Mistress?” He repeated the word before he said, “No, that doesn’t have the right ring to it. I’m not married, and I’m not interested in making you my dirty little secret. In fact, when the time is right, I’d take great pride in showing you off.”

“Showing me off?” I frowned at that, perhaps because Drew often made me feel like a trophy he enjoyed flaunting in front of his friends. “So you’re looking for tasty arm candy, are you? Sorry I can’t help you with that. I have an aversion to pompous rich guys who think they can buy a woman like a house or a car.” Without waiting for a response, I hung up, knowing that would incense him further.

Within seconds, my phone buzzed with a text message. I have that conference call, so I can’t continue this argument now, but don’t think you’ve won. You haven’t. And you won’t.

My fingers flew over the keypad. We’ll see about that. Was I crazy for antagonizing the guy who signed the paycheck I so desperately needed? Probably, but I was too pissed to care at the moment. I ventured back into the café to find our table companions had left. Thank God.

“Hey,” Eleni said when she spotted me, “where’d you go?”

“I had to take that call.” When she looked at me curiously, I said, “And to use the restroom.”

“The guy sitting next to you—whose name was Iain, by the way—asked me to give you this.” She slid a napkin across the table. “He’s cute. You should totally call him.”

“No, thanks.” I rolled up the napkin and submerged it in my half-eaten container of yogurt. “I should get going.” But I couldn’t leave until I found out why she hadn’t told me about bumping into Deacon.

“I’ll walk with you,” she said, slinging her mini backpack over her shoulder. “I could use some fresh air.”

“So, um…” I knew I couldn’t come right out and ask her why she hadn’t told me about meeting Deacon. If I did, she’d want to know how I knew. “Tasha told me she was down at Alabaster’s headquarters the other day and ran into the big boss.” It felt weird referring to Deacon that way now that I knew him personally. Sort of.

“Oh my God, that’s right. You don’t know, do you?” She stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, heedless of the people around her in a hurry to get to their next destination.

“Know what?” I hoped I sounded convincing. Eleni could usually see right through me.

“I met him!”

“Who?”

“Deacon Starkis. I met him.”

“No kidding.” I started walking again, trying for mild interest. “What’s he like?”

“Oh my freakin’ God, Mia. The man is gorgeous. He’s gotta be six-four, buff as hell, black hair, dark skin, but he has these piercing blue eyes that seem to see right through you.” She fanned her face. “I swear to you I would have done him right there in the elevator if he’d asked me to.”

“That’s disgusting,” I said, giving her the stink eye. The act didn’t revolt me as much as the idea of my best friend doing it with Deacon. Yeah, I had definitely crossed the line from flattered to possessive—about eighty-nine days ago.

“Oh, come on,” she said, bumping my shoulder with hers. “Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about hooking up with some hot stranger in an elevator. Especially one with more money than Trump. Trust me—Drew or no Drew—if this guy asked you to drop your panties, you’d be begging for it.”

“I don’t think so.” I didn’t sound very convincing—mainly because I suspected she was right. “So that’s it? You just shared an elevator with him?”

“And he gave me his number,” she said, pulling a stick of gum out of her purse and offering one to me.

Now I was the one stopping and creating a traffic jam. “He gave you his number? Are you serious?”

“Not his private number or anything, just his business card, but still… I definitely intend to use it. I could tell he was into me just by the way he was undressing me with his eyes.” She sighed dreamily. “It was the hottest thing ever. Don’t get me wrong—I know guys like that never settle for just one woman, but I’d be more than willing to be one of his harem.”

“His harem?” I spit out. “He’s Greek, not… whatever culture is into harems.”

Eleni giggled. “Why are you getting so worked up about this?”

“You’re my best friend! I don’t want to see you get used and abused by some rich jerk.”

“Believe me, girl, he can use me any old time he wants.”

There were so many things I wanted to say, but I had to bite my tongue, which only fanned the flames of my fury. “I have to grab a cab, or I’ll miss my appointment with Bernie.”

“Okay.” Eleni kissed my cheek.

I hailed a cab and was safely in the backseat before I texted him again. Contact me again, and I’m getting a restraining order, you sick freak. I hit send, my hands shaking, and realized this was probably the beginning of the end of my modeling career.

Chapter Two

Deacon

I stared at the words on my phone, trying to make sense of them. What the hell had set her off? Sure, she’d been pissed when she hung up on me—but not angry enough to threaten me with a restraining order. Something else must have happened, and I couldn’t wait another second to find out what it was.

“Gentlemen,” I said to my Asian suppliers, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to cut this short. There’s something pressing I need to take care of right away.”

My vice president and closest friend, Blake, mouthed, “You’re not serious.”

Because of the time difference, Blake had had to haul them out of bed to make this call happen, but I didn’t care. I was their biggest customer. They would make time for me when it suited me. I wouldn’t compromise my chance with Mia for any business deal.

“We’ll reconvene tomorrow. One of my people will advise you of the time.” I didn’t wait for their assent before I disconnected the call. “If you’ll excuse me”—I gestured at the door—“I need a minute.”

“What the hell’s going on with you?” Blake demanded. “You’ve been distracted for months now, like you have more important things on your mind.”

Blake was one of the few people I’d have trusted with my life, but I couldn’t talk to anyone about Mia until she was mine. “I can’t discuss this now. Please just get out. I need to make a call.”

Glaring daggers at me, Blake slipped his tablet under his arm as he stood. “This god complex of yours is starting to piss me off, Starkis. I’m not one of your flunkies. I’m your partner, and don’t you forget it.”

I waited for him to close the door before I hit the first number in my contacts. As soon as she answered, I said, “Explain that text. Now.”

“I don’t have to explain anything to you!”

“Yes, you do.” I wasn’t used to people challenging me, particularly women, so I was surprised by my body’s reaction. Huh, who knew arguing with her would be such a turn on? I’d definitely use that to my advantage later.

“Why don’t you explain something to me?”

“Okay.”

“Do you always hit on women you meet in elevators?”

A smile spread across my face as realization dawned. This was about her friend. She was jealous.

“Only the pretty ones.”

“Why are you wasting my time? Is this some twisted game to you? Are you doing all of this just to see if you can lure me away from my boyfriend? And then what? You’ll dump me?”

“No.” I had plans for her, but I wasn’t ready to reveal them yet.

“Why did you give Eleni your number?” She sounded torn between rage and frustration. “Do you want to sleep with her too, or are you hoping we’re into threesomes?”

“No. I don’t intend to share you. Ever.” I took a calming breath. As much as I loved her challenging me, I didn’t want this to escalate. “Just knowing that you’re sharing a bed with that loser every night makes me crazy.”

“You don’t know anything about Drew.”

“I know that he lets you bust your ass to take care of him. What kind of man does that?” I could have given her everything, and he gave her nothing, yet she still chose him over me. I hated that.

“Don’t try to change the subject. Why did you give Eleni your number?”

“I knew she was your best friend.” I hadn’t intended to show my hand so soon, but Mia had a way of making me do things I’d never thought I’d do. “I thought developing a friendship with her might give me some insight into what you’re thinking. Particularly about this Drew character.”

“If you want to know something about me, just ask me.” When I didn’t, she offered, “I love him.”

Those words cut deep. In the months I’d been thinking about her, I’d developed an unhealthy fixation. She infiltrated my thoughts when I was working, sleeping, jogging… every damn minute—or so it seemed. Thank God I had a team capable of holding the company together in my mental absence.

“You’re lying,” I said. “You don’t love him. You’re with him because you’re afraid to leave him. He’s the only boyfriend you’ve ever had, and you think you’ll be lost without him. But you won’t. You’re stronger than you think, and I can help make you stronger than you ever thought possible.” She had no idea the lengths I would go to just to make her happy. Seeing her smile and hearing her laugh would give me the kind of pleasure money couldn’t buy.

“Now you sound like Eleni.”

“I could tell she was a smart girl.”

“Tell the truth, Deacon,” she said softly. “You’re not the least bit attracted to her? She’s gorgeous and definitely into you.”

Eleni was lovely but nothing compared to Mia. As soon as I’d seen her face on my computer monitor, I knew I had to have her. In the first month, I’d convinced myself I just wanted to have sex with her. The second month, I’d realized her intelligence and quick wit intrigued me. The third month, her independent streak had hooked me. I was venturing into uncharted territory; for the first time in my life, I was obsessing over a woman—one who shared her body with another man. Ugh. The thought made me sick.

“I’m not into her.”

“You’re sure?”

My lips curved into a smile as I revelled in her jealousy. Good. That meant we were making progress. “I’m sure.”

She sighed, sounding almost… relieved? “I’m sorry I went off on you like that. I’m a little embarrassed. You’re my boss and—”

“I told you before, when we communicate, it has nothing to do with work. I don’t even want that to be a consideration. Whatever happens between us, you’re good at what you do. In spite of what you seem to think, your job isn’t in jeopardy if you reject me.” I didn’t want to be with a woman who feared me. I wanted to be with someone who desired me as much as I desired her.

“Thank you for saying that. I really need this job.” She hesitated as though she was considering how much she should share. “You know Drew is going back to school, and well… we need to pay the bills.”

I clenched my teeth while snapping the pencil in my hand in two. If I could have extricated him from her life, I would have, but she had to leave him and come to me of her own free will. “Understood.”

“Well, I should go. I have that meeting with Bernie. I’m sorry about the text. I was way out of line.”

“I was out of line too.” I couldn’t remember the last time I’d apologized to anyone for anything. “If I made you feel cheap, proposing to pay for a nicer apartment. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not that I didn’t appreciate the offer. It was very generous, but—”

“You’re not ready.”

She would let me take care of her one day. My lifestyle, the things I could offer her, were too tempting for anyone to resist, especially when the material goods were attached to a thorough and attentive lover determined to fulfill her every fantasy—in and out of the bedroom.

“I’m just not like that. I believe in paying my own way. I’m not interested in having a man, or anyone, take care of me. I can take care of myself just fine.”

I loved that she was so sincere, but she had no idea what she was passing up. Life as she knew it would never be the same once she experienced my world. The fact that she seemed averse to accepting the things I offered only intensified my attraction to her. “And that’s why I intend to give you the world—because you don’t expect anything from me.”

“The world?” She laughed. “That’s a tall order.”

“There is nothing in the world you could ever want that I couldn’t give you.” I let the power of those words sink in, knowing they would be overwhelming to most people. “Nothing.”

“Why me?” she whispered. “You could have anyone. Why are you so interested in me?”

“You’re a goddess.”

As soon as I’d seen her picture, I had been mesmerized by her physical beauty. It was natural, God-given perfection that no surgeon’s scalpel could rival. But once I’d come to know the heart of the woman beneath the perfect veil, I realized she was made for me and only me. I came from an old-fashioned family whose ties were bound by arranged marriages, but I’d always known that when the time came, I would hand-pick my life partner. Now that I’d found her, I would never let her go. I’d purposely delayed meeting her because I needed to be certain of how I felt about her. I didn’t want to be blinded by her beauty. But I was sure she was the one, and it was time to make her mine—officially.

“We’ll meet this weekend,” I declared.

“We will?” She sounded breathless. “When? Where?”

“The launch party for the new fall line. You’ll be there, as will I.”

“Oh, I…”

I knew she was thinking about the fact that she would be working at the party, walking down the runway wearing lingerie, bared for the large crowd to admire. But I would choose her attire personally. I didn’t want other men lusting after her, admiring her body and thinking sexual thoughts about the woman who was, for all intents and purposes, already mine.

“You have nothing to worry about,” I said quietly. “I’ll take care of everything.”

“Deacon, I…” She laughed lightly. “I’m nervous about meeting you. We’ve been emailing and texting for so long I feel like I know you, yet I’ve never laid eyes on you.”

“You’ve seen pictures, yes?”

“Of course.”

“Then we’re even.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“You may.” I was hesitant about revealing too much. I guarded my privacy, but there was nothing she could ask I wouldn’t try to answer. I wanted her to trust me completely, and that meant full disclosure… or almost-full disclosure. There were certain secrets I hoped I would never have to reveal.

“How did you know about that guy in the café today?”

“I hired a bodyguard to keep an eye on you. He told me.” When she gasped, I said, “I heard about what happened when you were leaving work a couple of months ago. The security guard said he saw some guy try to jump you in the parking lot. I was mad as hell when he told me he’d scared the guy off. I wanted the police to question him.”

When the silence stretched on, I said, “The next day, I hired Nate to watch you. I couldn’t rest unless I knew you were safe. I didn’t know whether it was random or if that guy had targeted you.” When she didn’t respond, I asked, “Why didn’t you tell me about it yourself? I’d like to think we were friends by then.”

“I didn’t want to make a big deal of it or seem paranoid. Sure, he scared me, but he didn’t actually hurt me.”

“That’s not the point. He could have. You should know you can always come to me when you need help.”

“I didn’t tell you because I felt stupid. I should have known someone was following me,” she said.

“These people are often stealthy, theia. You don’t see them until it’s too late.” The thought of anyone hurting her made me feel weak, and I despised weakness. “Now that you’re in my catalogues, on my website, appearing at our fashion shows as one of our regular models, you’re a target. Men fantasize about being with women like you. Most often it’s harmless, but I’m not willing to take any chances with your safety.”

“Some of the other models have told me stories about men stalking them.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. No one will hurt or scare you. If you receive any digital correspondence—texts, email, even social media messages—that make you feel uncomfortable, tell me. I’ll take care of it.”

“Knowing you’re looking out for me makes me feel better. Thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure.” And my job. “Good luck with your meeting. Let me know how it goes.”

“One more thing?” she asked, sounding tentative.

I smiled. “Yes?”

“You keep calling me theia but won’t tell me what it means. Will you now?”

My smile broadened. I often threw the odd Greek word into our texts when I needed to communicate things I knew she wasn’t ready to hear yet. “You haven’t googled it yet?”

“No, I want you to tell me.”

“I will. Soon. Good-bye, Mia.”

She sighed. “Good-bye, Deacon.”

***

With the launch party at the forefront of my mind, I made my way downstairs to wardrobe. Half a dozen women turned, gaping at me. I rarely made personal selections for my models, but I didn’t think my presence warranted such stunned silence.

“Good afternoon, ladies,” I said, trying to hide my amusement.

“Hello, Mr. Starkis,” one of the women stammered. “How can we help you?”

“I’m here about the fashion show this weekend.”

She gestured toward several hanging racks. “Everything’s taken care of, sir. You’re welcome to have a look at the samples. They’re right over there.”

“I’d like to see what Mia Barnes will be wearing.”

Two women exchanged curious glances before one said, “Of course, Mr. Starkis. I’ll get those selections right away.”

I barely noticed the gorgeous models milling about half-naked, being fitted for the upcoming show. Many were trying to get my attention, smiling or giving me sultry looks as they met my eyes in the full-length mirror. They had been hand-selected for their talent and beauty, but none were Mia, therefore none held my attention for long.

“Here they are,” the harried, middle-aged woman with the blond bob and pixie skirt said. “I think these will look fabulous on Mia.” She laughed. “I’ve worked in this business a long time, and I can tell you it’s rare to find a model who looks amazing in everything she tries on. Most have some flaw they wish to hide, but not our Mia.”

I smiled tightly. Our Mia? Wrong. She was my Mia. “I’m sure you’re right, but that one won’t work,” I said, pointing at the lavender silk bra and matching panties on the white satin hanger. “Next.”

Looking stricken, the woman said, “But—”

“It’s lovely…?”

“Barbara.”

“It’s lovely, Barbara. Just not what I have in mind for Mia. May I see the next one?”

She held up a black lace bustier with a matching thong, looking apprehensive. She had every reason to be nervous. The only time I expected to see Mia parading around wearing that was when she was modeling it for me.

“I want her to model the bridal collection.” I knew that was sexy yet demure.

“The bridal collection?” Barbara seemed stunned by my request.

“Is there a problem?”

“Um, no, but with Eleni’s darker coloring, I thought she would be perfect for the bridal collection.”

“You thought wrong,” I said, pinning her with a stare that brooked no argument. “Switch them. Eleni can wear these.” I gestured toward the pieces Mia had been slotted to wear. “Mia will model the bridal collection.”

“Of course, Mr. Starkis. Anything you say, sir.”

Chapter Three

Mia

Feeling a little unsettled after my meeting with Bernie, I went home. I had to go back to the Alabaster’s headquarters later for my final fitting before the fashion show.

As usual, Drew was lounging on the couch, his hand stuck in a half-empty bag of potato chips with his eyes glued to his laptop screen. As soon as he spotted me, he slammed the laptop shut, knocking all the chips onto the carpet I’d vacuumed last night. “Son of a bitch!” He jumped up, crunching the chips under his feet. “Why didn’t you text me to let me know you were on your way?”

“I didn’t realize I had to announce my arrival.” I tossed my purse onto the stool at the breakfast bar. Nice to see you too, lover. “You’d better get the vacuum out before Rosie comes in here and polishes those off.”

“That’s all that little bitch is good for,” he muttered. “A canine waste disposal.”

I felt my anger rising. My older brother had given Rosie to me when he enrolled in the service four years ago. I hated thinking about him being out there, on the front lines and risking his life, but Chad had promised that whenever I got scared or missed him, Rosie would be there to keep me company. My brother had always been my rock, and even with thousands of miles between us, he still was one of my main sources of support.

Trying to ignore Drew’s fit, I snagged a bottled water from the fridge and sat down to check my messages. My heartbeat kicked up a notch when I saw a text from Deacon. How was your meeting with Bernie?

In spite of the fact that he ran a multi-billion dollar company, he still made time to check in with me countless times a day. My so-called boyfriend, who was supposed to be out looking for a job since school was out for the summer, barely acknowledged my presence. Nice. Real nice.

It was kind of weird.

He responded right away. How so?

We’d been talking about a lot of other opportunities lately, but now he wants to abandon all other prospects. He says he has faith Alabaster’s will become a permanent gig.

Is that a problem?

Don’t like to have all my eggs in one basket, boss.

Smart girl, but you don’t have anything to worry about. You’re future with A’s is a sure thing.

I loved getting reassurance from the head honcho himself, but I couldn’t help feeling guilty about using my friendship with Deacon to secure my future. I wasn’t naïve. I knew the modeling business was cutthroat and I had to take a hand up whenever I could get one, but…

You still there?

Yeah. Gotta go though. Drew’s home.

Ugh. Call me later?

I smiled. Sure. It’ll be much later though. I have to stop by A’s for a fitting.

Okay. Have fun.

I tried to quash my disappointment that he hadn’t suggested we meet for coffee or something after my appointment. Then I reprimanded myself for being silly. He was a busy man. He couldn’t drop everything to accommodate my schedule.

I slipped my phone back into my purse and frowned when I noticed Drew had turned on the TV instead of cleaning up the mess he’d made. “Aren’t you going to get the vacuum?”

“Would you mind grabbing it, babe? I forgot there was a game on this afternoon.” He pointed at the baseball game filling the 50-inch flat screen he’d insisted on buying with the birthday money my parents had given me.

“How did the job hunt go today?” As though I didn’t know. He was wearing the same drawstring sweatpants and black T-shirt he’d been wearing when I left the apartment that morning.

“I’m checking out some prospects,” he muttered. “Hey, can you grab me the peanuts?”

I took a deep breath before reaching into the cupboard for the bag of nuts. Maybe I was a little nuts for putting up with his shit. It could have been the time I’d spent chatting with Deacon, but it was becoming painfully obvious that my lazy-ass boyfriend took me for granted, and I was sick of it. As I walked past him, I threw the large bag of nuts at his chest, which hit him in the stomach.

“Hey, what’d you do that for?” he cried.

“Oh, just shut up and eat your nuts,” I muttered.

I opened the master bedroom door only to find Rosie locked inside. That bastard kept my dog locked in one room all day just so he wouldn’t have to deal with her? With Rosie tucked under my arm, I stormed back into the living room.

“Why was she in the bedroom?”

Without taking his eyes off the screen, he said, “She likes to sleep under the bed.”

“Only when you’re around.” Rosie hated Drew even more than he hated her. “Do you do that all the time when I’m not here? Is that why you like me to call or text when I’m on my way home?”

He shrugged, his eyes glued to the TV.

“Do that again, and you’re the one who’ll be sleeping under the goddamn bed!”

“Why’re you in such a pissy mood?”

“Gee, I don’t know,” I said, throwing up my free hand. “Maybe it has something to do with my lazy boyfriend refusing to get a job, clean up after himself, or help take care of my dog when I’m out busting my ass to pay our bills.”

“Don’t you mean selling your ass?” he asked, smirking.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “What did you say?”

“Come on, that’s exactly what you’re doing, and you know it.” He popped a shelled peanut into his mouth. “Parading around half-naked, posing for those rags men use to get off.”

“It’s not a porn magazine! It’s a lingerie catalogue. Women are the ones who look at those.”

“Ha! Whatever. You think their husbands and boyfriends don’t sneak into the bathroom with them?”

“God, you’re twisted.” I secured Rosie’s leash and grabbed my purse.

“Where are you going? Aren’t you gonna make dinner? I’m hungry.”

“Then make it yourself.”

I’d walked half a mile before I finally felt as though I could breathe again. Never had it been more glaringly obvious to me that Deacon and Eleni were right—I had shacked up with a loser. Even worse, I’d wasted eight years of my life with him. What the hell had I been thinking?

I knocked on the door of Eleni’s apartment, praying she’d be home to watch Rosie while I went for the fitting.

“Hey you,” Eleni said, grinning. Her eyes fell on Rosie, and her smile got bigger. “This is a nice surprise. Come on in.” She opened the door wider as she stepped back. “I was just sautéing some shrimp and scallops for dinner. You want some? I have plenty.”

“Thanks, it smells great.” I had some time to kill before my appointment, and I really needed a little more quality time with my bestie. “Could you do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

That was one of the many things I loved about El—she was always there when I needed someone. “Could you watch Rosie for me? I have a fitting for the show in a bit.”

“Sure, but what’s the deadbeat doing? Don’t tell me he actually hauled his ass off the couch.”

“No,” I said, smirking. “He and I got into it, and I didn’t want to leave Rosie there with him.”

“You got into it?” Eleni sounded hopeful. “Does that mean you’ve got one foot out the door?”

“I’m not leaving! I came up with the first and last month’s rent. He can leave.”

“Oh Lord…” Eleni carefully stirred the spattering seafood with a spatula. “If you’re waiting for that, you’ll be living with him until you’re old and gray.”

“He can’t be any happier than I am.” Stroking Rosie’s curls, I whispered, “We haven’t, you know, had sex in almost three months.” It wasn’t entirely his fault. Every time he’d tried, I faked a headache or a stomachache or that time of the month. I was getting pretty good at giving him excuses.

Eleni’s jaw dropped as she raised the dripping utensil. “Shut up! And I’m just hearing about this now?”

“I didn’t want to give you any more ammunition.” I set Rosie free to explore before claiming a stool at the tiny breakfast bar.

Eleni’s place was little more than one big room, but with her flair for decorating and fearless use of color, it was fun and quirky—like her.

“I wasn’t sure I was ready to end it, and I didn’t need anyone, not even you, trying to influence me.”

Eleni turned the burner off and plated the seafood before reaching into the fridge for a large stainless steel bowl brimming with fresh greens. “Does that mean you’ve made your own decision? Please, please, please tell me you’re ready to kick him out. My lease here is up next month. I could move in with you, help pay the bills. That would allow you to save some for a rainy day.”

As models, we both knew our next paycheck could be our last, and living in a city where rent on a shoebox was sky high, we’d both sworn to be frugal—except when it came to clothes and shoes… and makeup, spa appointments, gourmet coffee, hair… okay, so maybe we were a little reckless with our money. Splitting the rent would definitely help us both save more.

“I’ll think about it.” I thanked her as she set a plate of food in front of me. I wanted to tell her about Deacon, but I couldn’t. He’d sworn me to secrecy because he wanted people to find out about our relationship when the time was right, whatever that meant.

Eleni pulled a stool up on the other side of the breakfast bar so we sat facing each other. “I got a weird call from Alabaster’s. They said there’d been some last-minute change to Saturday’s line-up and they need me to come in for some extra fittings.” She snorted. “I still think it’s funny they have to alter bras and panties to fit us perfectly.”

I rolled my eyes as I took a bite of shrimp. Mmm. The flavor just exploded on my tongue. Eleni was a much better cook than I was—another reason to consider the whole roommate angle.

“I think it’s more the clothes that need alterations, not so much the undergarments.” Though they did seem to tweak those endlessly too. Half the time I expected them to superglue the underwear to my butt to keep it from riding up before I stepped out on the runway.

Alabaster’s sold everything from swimwear to workout gear and outerwear, but they were best known for their lingerie and the flawless models who made every woman want one of their signature pieces. I could hardly believe it when they’d asked me to replace one of their leading models, who was going on maternity leave. They thought I fit their flawless mold, but that was only because they hadn’t seen the real me: oversized sweats, bedhead, bloodshot eyes, and pre-wax. Definitely not a pretty sight.

“I don’t know about you, but there’s nothing resembling clothes in my line-up for Saturday,” she said. “It’s all lingerie.”

“Yeah, me too.” I wasn’t surprised. The other girls had told me the launch parties usually featured the new lingerie collection since that had always been Alabaster’s staple.

“I’m modeling the bridal collection,” Eleni said, spearing her lettuce with a fork. “Can you imagine? Me in bridal lingerie?” She shuddered. “Never.”

Eleni had decided she would never get married. Her traditional Greek parents had broken the mold and separated when she was ten, and the experience had apparently scarred her for life.

“I think you’ll look great in the bridal collection.” I sliced a scallop so I could pop half into my mouth. “White with your coloring? It’ll definitely be the highlight of the show.”

“I don’t know. We’ll see, I guess.” She took another bite and chewed carefully. “So I’ve been thinking about calling Starkis. You think I should?”

I reached for one of the bottled waters she’d set on the counter, hoping to buy some time to think of a plausible reason why that was one of the worst ideas she’d ever had. “I wouldn’t if I were you, El. That guy has a reputation.” God, I was such a hypocrite. Wait ‘til she found out I’d been corresponding with him for months. She was going to hate me.

“I don’t wanna marry the guy. I just want to sleep with him.”

I covered my mouth when water threatened to spew across the counter. I didn’t know why I was shocked. Eleni was never looking for a relationship—only the kind of sex that made her eyes roll back in her head. “Still, he’s our boss.” There was a special place in hell for people who deceived their best friends, and I’d just secured my spot.

“So what? All the more reason for him to want to be discreet. You think he hasn’t banged other models?” She rolled her eyes at my naïveté. “Please. I was beginning to wonder what was taking him so long to get around to me. I bet he would have propositioned you too, but he probably heard you had a boyfriend.”

I pushed my plate away, my stomach plummeting. “He’s slept with other models who work for him?”

“Of course.” Eleni giggled. “Come on, Mia. Don’t look so surprised. He’s a real-life Greek god with more money than… hell, anyone I can think of. Every model wants to do him, thinking she’ll be the one.”

“The one?” My mouth dried up as I tried to swallow.

“The one he’ll decide he can’t live without.” Eleni gave a bitter laugh. “They all want the big rock, designer clothes, the mansions on both coasts, flashy sports car…”

I felt sick when I thought of all the gifts tucked away at the back of my closet. He was trying to buy me, just like he’d bought all the others! I was a challenge to him because I had a boyfriend. As soon as I dumped Drew, he’d get me into bed and move on to his next conquest. How could I have been so stupid?

“Does he, uh, give them gifts? The girls he sleeps with?”

Eleni shrugged. “Sure. You know Melanie?”

I nodded, afraid I’d give myself away if I spoke.

“He bought her those big-ass diamond earrings she won’t take off.” Eleni leaned in as though we weren’t the only two people in the room.

I snuck a peek at Rosie basking in a pool of sunlight under the window. I was pretty sure our secrets were safe with her.

“She said he’s hotter than hell in the sack. I mean, he’s got the biggest—”

“I’d love to hear the rest,” I lied, sliding off my stool, “but I’m gonna be late for that fitting. I’ll pick Rosie up as soon as I’m done. Thanks for dinner.”

“No worries,” Eleni said, clearing our plates. “She and I’ll eat some popcorn and watch a movie.”

I frowned, knowing she wasn’t kidding about feeding Rosie snacks. I’d come back in a couple of hours to find them passed out on the couch with an empty bowl between them.

***

I stared at my reflection. “I don’t understand, Barbara. I thought Eleni was supposed to be modeling the bridal collection.”

She pinned the white bustier until my full breasts spilled over the top. Then she artfully arranged the white sheer robe so it revealed just enough of her handiwork to be enticing without looking trashy. “What the boss wants, the boss gets. Even if it means we have to lose sleep to get these damn alterations done on time.”

“Remind me to give you a raise, Barbara.”

I turned so fast that the pin Barbara was holding jabbed me in the thigh, but I barely noticed. It was him. Oh God. I couldn’t breathe. I was going to pass out right there.

“Mr. Starkis,” Barbara said, a blush stealing over her cheeks. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I’d like a moment alone with Miss Barnes, Barbara.” He gave her a pointed stare before he said, “I’ll try not to keep her too long. I understand you’re on a tight schedule.”

She lowered her head before gathering her measuring tape and pins. “No problem, take all the time you need.”

He waited until Barbara had closed the door and we were alone before he whispered, “Theia, you look breathtaking.”

I still didn’t know what theia meant, and I was beyond irritated to be meeting him under these circumstances, especially armed with the knowledge about his penchant for young models.

Closing the gap in the sheer robe, I tried to stare him down, but it wasn’t easy. Even standing on a pedestal and wearing four-inch heels, I was still slightly shorter than he was.

“We meet at last.” He stepped closer and ran a fingertip over my cheek. “You’re even more beautiful in person than I imagined you would be.”

His accent was more pronounced than it had been over the phone and sent delicious chills up my spine in spite of my annoyance at my body’s betrayal.

His bright blue eyes flashed with irritation. “You are annoyed with me. Again?”

“I’m not having this conversation here.” I looked around, wondering if he’d seduced other women in that very room. “I’m working. Kindly leave.”

His irritation blossomed into anger. “I own this goddamn building. No one tells me when to leave.”

Oh. Feeling properly chastised, I did the only thing I could. I turned away from him and fixed all my attention on the mirror in front of me.

He walked around me in a slow circle, his hand rubbing the dark stubble on his square jaw. “Mmmm, this looks even better than I imagined it would. It’s so easy to imagine unwrapping you on our wedding night.”

My eyes flew to his. Had he just said our wedding night? No, I must have been hearing things.

“I can picture you spread out in the middle of a king-size bed…” He reached for the satin sash on the front of the robe and untied the bow Barbara had carefully fastened. He opened the fabric, his breath hitching when he saw the garters and white silk thong. “Waiting for me.”

I knew it was his show, his company, his product, but I didn’t appreciate the way his eyes drifted over my body as though he owned me too. My mind told me I resented it, but my body didn’t agree. His intense appraisal, coupled with his words, aroused and captivated me, making my anger fade away.

“You will wear this for me,” he said, his eyes devouring every inch of me as his hand drifted up the side of my silk-clad thigh. He stepped onto the platform and slid the robe off my shoulders. As it fluttered to the ground, he dipped his head to inhale the perfume on my neck and closed his hands around my hips. “I think I’ll let you keep this on.” Hooking a finger inside the panties, he whispered, “Except for these. These will definitely have to go.”

My breath was caught somewhere in my throat, and I felt as if I were suffocating. I was sharing my personal space with a billionaire I knew but didn’t know—one who’d admitted he was obsessed with me, but I now suspected he was more obsessed with the idea of having sex with me.

“How many?” I asked, finally able to find the will to whisper.

“Excuse me?”

“How many of your models have you slept with?”

His blue eyes darkened a shade as he looked at me, his fury evident in the tension in his broad shoulders. “Do not ask me that question again.”

“Then you’re not denying it?”

“Why would I? It’s none of your business.”

I stepped back, forgetting I was on a raised platform until he grabbed my arm to prevent me from stumbling or falling. I tried to quash the hurt, telling myself I had no right to feel as though he’d betrayed me somehow by making me feel special when I was just one of many.

“You’re crying.” His words were a mere whisper of disbelief. “Theia, I’m so sorry. I never meant to make you cry.”

I bent to gather my belongings since I couldn’t finish the fitting in this state. I’d have to apologize profusely to Barbara and beg her to let me come back first thing in the morning. If there was one thing Alabaster’s had no tolerance for, it was temperamental models.

“I’m not crying.” Even as I said it, my voice broke, making a mockery of my claim.

He knelt, clasping my shoulders as he brought me to my feet. “I’m sorry I was so harsh. I’m not used to answering for my actions. I’m not used to people who challenge me, but I like that you do.” His eyes dipped to my cleavage as he smiled. “In fact, I love everything about you, my beauty.”

“Subtle, Starkis. Real subtle.” I shoved his shoulder, but he didn’t move an inch, incensing me further. I hated that he’d seen me vulnerable and knew he was the cause. He was right—it was none of my business whom he slept with—but for the first time in a long time, someone had made me feel special, desirable, and it had all been a lie. I was crushed.

“Tell me what I did. Let me make it better.”

The way he said it, so soothingly, as he stroked my hair, almost made me believe he cared about me and my feelings, but I knew that was just part of his game. “I know about your past.” I could tell by the tic in his jaw that I was testing his patience. That wasn’t wise given my precarious financial situation and lack of prospects, but I couldn’t help myself. “I know you seduce models for sport.”

“My past has nothing to do with you or with us.”

“There is no us.” I pushed his hands aside. “I’m leaving. Please apologize to Barbara for me. Tell her I’ll come back whenever she needs me to.”

“You are leaving. With me. And Barbara will see you when I tell her to.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you!”

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his tailored dress pants as he rolled back on his heels, his eyes scanning me from head to toe and rooting my feet to the ground. I did the same, scanning him, but I knew I couldn’t have the same impact on him that he had on me.

God, he was delicious. Wearing a black suit with a light blue shirt and tie that enhanced the color of his eyes, he was every woman’s fantasy. The fact that he was a power-hungry control freak seemed to make the package even more appealing, which told me I’d been hanging around Eleni too long.

“You’re hurt and jealous,” he said. “I understand.”

“No.” I was a terrible liar. I should have just kept my mouth shut instead of spewing lies he would never believe.

“I understand because I’m hurt and jealous too, Mia.”

The way he said my name so reverently made my anger melt… just a little. “Why?”

“Another man is sharing your bed. And I want—no, need—to be the one. The only one.”

He was so intense. It was almost overbearing, the way he wove his words like a web around me.

“He’s not… we’re not…” My face flamed. I couldn’t believe I was talking to him about my sex life—or lack thereof.

“Tell me.”

I took a deep breath. I knew there was no way he would let me walk out without sharing my secret. “Drew and I… We’re not… I mean, we haven’t slept together in months.”

His full mouth tipped at one corner. “Is that so? That pleases me.”

I waited for him to continue. I tried to control my erratic breathing as his eyes continued their bold perusal of my body.

“I would fall asleep at night wrestling with my rage as I imagined him pinning you down with his weight as he thrust inside you.”

I was shocked by his admission, yet I shouldn’t have been. Three months of correspondence with Deacon had taught me that he always said exactly what was on his mind.

“I want him gone. I’ve thought about it—making him disappear,” Deacon said.

My heart thumped wildly. I wasn’t sure that I loved Drew anymore, but I didn’t want him to be harmed. “Deacon, please don’t say that. You can’t.”

His eyes flashed with anger. “You still love him.”

“I don’t know. I’m confused.”

“I’ve taken it slow with you, building up to this moment, for a reason. I knew once we finally came face to face, there would be no more holding back. I want you to be mine. I won’t share you. I can’t send you home tonight knowing you’re returning to another man’s arms. I won’t.”

He still hadn’t explained his history with the other models, and I didn’t know that he ever would. He was asking me to trust him enough to end an eight-year relationship simply because he asked me to, but he was offering nothing in return.

Barbara tapped on the door before opening it. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I—”

“Not now,” Deacon said without sparing her a glance.

She quietly closed the door without another word, prompting me to say, “That was rude. Do you always treat people that way?”

He shrugged. “More often than not. Maybe I need a woman like you to make me a better man, theia.”

“I have a feeling nothing I could say or do would change you.”

“Then you underestimate your power over me.” He moved close enough to stroke me, but his hands remained fisted at his sides. “You can change me. You already have. This desire I have for you, it’s all-consuming. It frightens me. It excites me. It intrigues me.”

I tried to keep my breathing even, but I failed miserably as his words seeped under my skin, making me hot all over. “You frighten me too. What I feel for you frightens me.” I squeezed my eyes shut when I realized what I’d said.

He knew now. He knew he had me right where he wanted me.

“I want you to go home tomorrow and tell him it’s over. Stay in a hotel tonight. I don’t want you going back there until he’s moved out.”

I should have told him he had no right to tell me what to do, but instead of challenging him, I said, “I’m surprised you’re not inviting me back to your place.”

“Believe me, it’s not because I don’t want to.” His eyes did what I wanted his hands to do—they stroked me, stoking the blazing heat building between my legs. “You don’t know what you’re doing to me right now.” He breathed deeply, his nostrils flaring as he clenched his hands more tightly. “It’s taking more will than I thought I possessed to resist taking you on this goddamn floor.”

I knew it was dangerous to tease a man like Deacon, but I wasn’t teasing. I wanted it. I wanted him. In spite of his fondness for using and discarding women like me, I was ready to cast my fears and doubt aside for a few moments of the bliss he’d promised me. “So don’t resist.”

His eyes flared to life with a myriad of emotions: lust, excitement, even a little wariness—as though he could scarcely believe I was offering myself to him. “When I make love to you for the first time, you’ll be mine. You won’t be torn, thinking about another lover. You won’t feel guilty because someone is waiting for you at home. You won’t question whether or not you’re still in love with him. You’ll give yourself to me completely. Mind. Body. Soul.”

I was riveted by his vow, wondering if it was even possible to surrender to a man like him completely without losing myself.

“You’ll stay with a friend tonight. Or would you rather stay in a hotel?”

“I’ll stay with Eleni. She has Rosie.” It was odd that I didn’t have to explain who Rosie was. He already knew everything about me.

“You’ll talk to him in the morning?”

“I’ll have to ask Barbara if she wants me to come back in the morning.”

“Your fitting can wait until the afternoon. Your meeting with him can’t.”

I nodded. There was no sense in prolonging the inevitable. I’d already decided to end things with Drew. It was time to make it official.

“Lunch tomorrow. I want to hear all about it,” he said.

I didn’t know if I’d ever get used to the way he issued orders instead of asking questions, but I found I didn’t want to argue. I wanted to have lunch with him. “Fine.”

“Good.” He seemed satisfied. “I want that,” he said, gesturing to my ensemble.

I smiled. “I’m not sure it comes in your size, Deacon.”

He smirked as his chest brushed mine, stealing my breath. “I want my lover to wear it for me the first time we make love.”

He hadn’t said he wanted me to wear it, but I read his intentions in the ravenous look in his eyes.

“Yes.”

“I cannot wait to have you, Mia.”

I felt a pang of uncertainty at his choice of words, but before I could question him, he was gone.

Chapter Four

Deacon

I watched her walk into the restaurant and smile at the awestruck maître d’ who then led her to our table. She was like a surreal fantasy my imagination had somehow tricked me into believing was real. I’d had no idea that when I saw her retouched photos, the airbrushing had somehow diminished her exquisiteness. It had stolen the light from her crystalline eyes and lessened the natural dimples in her round cheeks. My people probably thought the dimples and round cheeks made her look too innocent, but I thought they rounded out her face perfectly.

With every step she took, I became more anxious. Had she found the courage to end her relationship, or had she given in when Drew pleaded for another chance? I had no doubt he had cried and begged. In his position, I might even have done the same.

I stood and brushed a kiss across her cheek before glaring at the man seated a few feet away whose eyes were fixed on her ass. She was wearing a tight, red strapless dress with black heels. Her wavy blond hair spilled down her back, and her skin looked delicately bronzed, as though she’d stolen a few moments in the sun that morning. I couldn’t blame any man for turning to stare, but I wanted to make it clear that she was with me and they didn’t stand a chance.

“I hope you don’t mind I took the liberty of ordering for us.” In one of our emails, I’d asked about all of her favorite things, including food.

“Presumptuous, aren’t you?” she said, her lush lips curving into a smile.

The maître d’, who’d known me as a patron for many years, seemed surprised by her flippant comment. He’d probably never heard anyone question my authority before.

“That’ll be all, Charles,” I said. “Kindly ask them to bring the wine now.”

“Right away, Mr. Starkis,” he said, bowing slightly.

Looking amused, her eyes tracked the little balding man scurrying away. “Do people always respond to you that way?”

“Usually.” I reached for my water glass, feeling a little unsettled. We were on our first date, a moment I’d been waiting months for, and I was battling an unfamiliar emotion—nervousness. “Let’s cut to the chase. Did he take the news well, or do I have to have a little chat with him myself?”

She didn’t respond right away, making a production of smoothing the napkin Charles had placed in her lap. “He’ll be moving out later today.”

I released the breath I’d been holding. “Good. Glad to hear it.”

“I thought you would be.” With a steady hand, she brought her water glass to her lips, taking a small sip before setting it down.

“You should have given him the apartment though. I told you I’d like to find you a nicer place in a better neighborhood—”

“Sir, your wine.”

I frowned at the waiter who’d interrupted me. “Go ahead.” I watched him pour a sample into my glass before I picked it up and swirled the contents. Watching Mia over the rim of the glass, I inhaled deeply, as I had the night before when she’d been trying to taunt me into submission. After taking a deep swallow, I said, “It’s fine. Thank you.”

“Very good, sir.” Pouring wine into both of our glasses, he said, “Your entrées will be out shortly.”

I waited until he was out of earshot before I said, “As I was saying—”

“I already told you I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” She smiled sweetly as she raised her wine glass. “What shall we drink to?”

“New beginnings,” I said, touching my glass to hers.

Inclining her head, she said, “To new beginnings. I like that.” She took a sip of her wine and licked a drop off her shiny lips. “But before we get too far ahead of ourselves, I’d like to pick up where we left off last night.”

“I don’t follow,” I said, getting the sense I wouldn’t like where she was going.

“You helped me realize my relationship has been over for a while. If it hadn’t been, I wouldn’t have been so intrigued by your interest in me. I would have simply asked you to stop contacting me.”

That was one of the things that set her apart from every other woman I’d known—I had no trouble believing she would have told me she wasn’t interested, with no reservations, if she had been committed to her lover. That knowledge reassured me that when she was mine and other men tried to woo her away from me, which I knew they would, she would respectfully decline… as long as I succeeded where her last boyfriend had failed her—which I would.

“So although I’m sad, because it does represent the end of a rather long chapter in my life, I’m also excited about the future.”

“As am I.”

Tipping her head to the side, she regarded me carefully. “Here’s the thing: I’m not sure acting on this obvious attraction between us is the best idea.”

“Care to explain why?” Knowing I couldn’t have her because she belonged to someone else had been difficult, but not being able to have her because she didn’t want me would be excruciating.

“I’m not sure I can trust you.” She seemed calm and collected, but she patted her chunky silver choker, indicating she wasn’t as composed as she pretended to be. “Given the stories I’ve heard—”

“Don’t give in to salacious gossip, theia. It’s beneath you.” There was no point trying to convince her there hadn’t been others—many, many others—but I wouldn’t allow my sordid past to dictate my future with her.

“It’s only gossip if it isn’t true.” Leaning in, she lowered her voice. “Were you dating Melanie? Did you give her diamond earrings?”

I stared at her for a long time, considering my options. I couldn’t lie to her, because it would be too easy for her to learn the truth. Besides, I didn’t relish the idea of having the kind of marriage my parents had. I could refuse to respond, but that would be the same as admitting my guilt, or I could tell her—once again—that it was none of her business.

“You’re not going to answer me, are you?”

I twisted the stem of my glass between my thumb and index finger. “That depends. Is this a deal-breaker for you?”

“Yes.”

“Fine,” I said, feeling resentful that I had to share more about my past than I wanted to. It was ugly, and now that I’d met her, I wasn’t proud of it. But I couldn’t erase it. “Yes. I had a relationship with Melanie. It wasn’t exclusive, but I did buy her the earrings as a birthday gift.”

The waiter appeared with our seafood platter. “Will there be anything else, sir?”

“No, thank you.” I hoped she would let it go after getting the answer she’d been seeking, but of course, that was wishful thinking.

“How many others?” She carefully selected a piece of grilled calamari, along with a shrimp, a scallop, and a spoonful of the accoutrements. “How many of the other models have you slept with?”

I remained silent, getting angrier with each question.

“You don’t have to answer me. Just be aware that I won’t be one of many. I have too much self-respect to—”

“Just stop it,” I seethed, leaning in. “That’s enough. It doesn’t matter how many others there have been—”

“It matters to me.” She sliced the calamari, popped a piece into her mouth, and chewed carefully as she met my gaze head-on. “I won’t be made a fool of by any man. I don’t care how much money you have. My body isn’t for sale, so if that’s what you—”

“Don’t insult me… or yourself. If I gave a lover a gift, it was because I chose to, not because I was trying to buy her. I know you’re not for sale, and the gifts I sent you weren’t intended to sway you. I saw those items, and they made me think of you. Period.”

Her expression softened. “I’m sorry if I sound harsh or judgmental. I don’t intend to. I just need you to know where I stand. I can’t be with a man who’s had sex with every one of my co-workers. Knowing that they’re talking about me behind my back—”

“Who cares what anyone else thinks?” People who catered to public opinion without considering their own thoughts and feelings first had always been one of my pet peeves.

“I know you don’t because people wouldn’t dare talk about you behind your back or to your face. But not all of us wield the kind of power you do.”

“Trust me—if anyone says anything about you, or to you, that hurts you, come to me. I’ll resolve the situation.”

“You can’t fight my battles for me,” she said.

“Yes, I can.” She’d been standing on her own two feet with no support for too long. It was time for her to realize I intended to relieve her of her burdens.

“I don’t want you to,” she said slowly, as though she were talking to a small child. “I like knowing I can take care of myself.”

I drew a deep breath, trying to see things from her perspective. It wasn’t easy. I was accustomed to forcing my opinions on people, but if I tried that with Mia, she would walk away without a backward glance. “Fine. I’ll let you handle things as you see fit then. Will other women tell you they’ve slept with me? Yes. Will it be true? Probably. Did it mean anything to me? No. Are you satisfied?”

“How do I know I’m any different?” she asked, looking at the food on her plate.

For the first time since she’d walked into the restaurant, I saw a crack in her self-assured veneer, and I liked it. I needed reassurance, and I liked that she did too. “Let me prove it you.”

“How?”

“Actions speak louder than words, my beauty. I won’t tell you. I’ll show you.”

***

I called Eleni into my office later that afternoon, intent on putting my plan into action.

“Hello, Mr. Starkis.” She smiled, putting a little sway in her hips as she crossed my office. “Your receptionist said you wanted to see me?”

“Yes, have a seat, Eleni.” I folded my hands, propping my elbows on my armrests. “I understand you and Mia are close.”

She frowned as she sat up straighter. “Yes, we are. Why do you ask?”

“Mia and I have become quite close as well.”

I could tell she was stunned. Good. That meant Mia had kept her word. She hadn’t told anyone, not even her best friend, about us.

“I had no idea,” she said. “I don’t understand why she wouldn’t have told me. I thought we told each other everything.”

“Please don’t blame her,” I said, trying to soften her with a warm smile. “I asked her to keep our communications private…for now.”

“I see. Then why are you telling me?”

“Things have changed. She broke up with the boyfriend.”

Eleni smirked, drawing a smile from me.

“This pleases me,” I said. “I trust you feel the same way?”

“You have no idea.”

“Her living situation is about to change, and I’m not sure I like the idea of her living alone in that building. It isn’t safe.”

She narrowed her eyes as though she were trying to figure out whether I was for real. “Just how close are the two of you, Mr. Starkis?”

I smiled indulgently. “Please, call me Deacon. Now that your friend and I are… involved, I’m sure you and I will be getting to know each other better.”

“You gave me your business card in the elevator the other day because you—”

“I knew you were Mia’s friend, and I wanted us to become friends as well. There was no hidden agenda.”

A slow smile crept across her face. “That’s why she got so freaked out when I told her about it. She was trying to play it cool, but I could tell it was bugging her. I couldn’t figure out why ‘cause normally she couldn’t care less about who I’m seeing, but the thought of us together really set her off.”

I was amused. Eleni was much more brazen and outgoing than her demure friend. I could see how they complemented one another. But I also sensed that Eleni could lead my Mia into temptation, creating trouble for me. “I know the two of you go out together a lot… clubbing?”

“What about it?” she asked, seeming suspicious.

“I’d like to ask you to take care of her for me. She means a great deal to me, and I would hate for anything to happen to her.” Of course, that would never happen as long as Mia’s bodyguard was on my payroll, but Eleni didn’t have to know about him yet.

“When you say take care of her, are you asking me to make sure she doesn’t hook up with other guys?”

“Has she expressed an interest in… hooking up with other guys?” I didn’t often use slang, and it felt foreign on my tongue, bitter and distasteful when I was using the words in reference to Mia.

She shrugged. “We talked about it before we fell asleep last night. She hasn’t been single in a looong time. I encouraged her to play the field, see what’s out there.”

“Hmmm… I was hoping you’d discourage that.”

Now that Mia was finally single, all of the men who’d taken an interest in her over the years would start lining up. I had no intention of letting them get close enough to tempt her. “There’s nothing anyone else could give her that I couldn’t.”

Eleni raised her hands. “Look, I know I could get fired for saying this, but Mia’s my best friend, and I love her like a sister, so I’m just gonna come right out and say it.”

Trying to conceal my amusement at her buildup, I said, “I wish you would.”

“You’re a… a… man-whore.” She blushed furiously. “Okay, maybe I could have chosen a different word. Player… is that better?”

I slid a gold pen through my fingers, tapping the end against my mahogany desktop. I let her squirm as she awaited my response, but to her credit, she didn’t try to apologize for offending me. I admired her courage.

“You’re right. I have enjoyed the company of many beautiful women over the years, perhaps too many.”

“That’s just it. I don’t want her to get hurt.” She leaned forward, cupping her hands over her knees. “Mia’s a good person, Deacon. She has a kind heart. But she’s also been blessed—or cursed, depending on how you look at it—with a gorgeous face and body. That makes her a target for rich, good-looking guys who want a trophy wife or girlfriend. Do you think you’re the first one who’s propositioned her? Trust me, it happens all the time.”

I wasn’t surprised, but hearing that confirmation made me uneasy. I knew Mia wasn’t impressed by my wealth or status. Since I had a lousy track record with women and was considered condescending and ruthless by most, why would she want to give me a chance?

“I’m sorry to have to cut this short,” Eleni said, glancing at her watch, “but I have another appointment.”

“Wait. We didn’t get to talk about the apartment. That’s the real reason I called you in here. Mia deserves a nicer place to live, and I really don’t want her to live alone.” Until I could convince her to move in with me, I would feel better knowing she had her best friend to keep her company. “I’ve asked her to let me get her a penthouse downtown.”

Eleni rolled her eyes. “Gee, I bet that went over well. You don’t get it, do you? She’s not looking for a sugar daddy. She just wants a guy who will love her and treat her right.”

Sugar daddy? I was twelve years Mia’s senior, but I still didn’t think the term fit.

“Well?” Eleni asked impatiently. “Do you think you can be that guy, or are you wasting her time?”

“Yes, yes, I can. I will.” I hadn’t planned to defend myself to Mia’s best friend, but I admired her protective streak, so I indulged her.

She beamed. “Good. I’m glad to hear that.” She clapped. “This will be fun.”

Chapter Five

Mia

I was hanging out at Eleni’s apartment, waiting for Drew to clear out of ours, when she stormed in.

“When were you going to tell me?” she demanded, tapping a ballerina flat against the plank floor.

“Tell you what?” I barely resisted the urge to squirm. I hated it when she looked at me as though she’d caught me doing something I shouldn’t be. “What’s your problem?”

“I thought we were best friends,” she said, resorting to the puppy-dog eyes that made every man within a three-mile radius bend to her will. “Like sisters, you said.”

“Yeah…” I rolled my hand, encouraging her to continue. “And?”

“I thought we told each other everything.”

Clearly, she was building up to dropping a bomb I couldn’t see coming, which made me nervous. What did she have on me?

“We do.”

“Clearly, I do.” She folded her arms, raising her chin in her “haughty Lady Gaga stance”—as she called it. “While you enjoy keeping secrets.”

“Would you just tell me what I did already so I can either be outraged you would think so little of me or throw myself at your feet and beg for mercy?” We’d been down this road before, usually with me at fault since Eleni couldn’t keep a secret if her life depended on it.

“You and Starkis.” She narrowed her eyes. “When were you gonna tell me you’re hooking up with the boss man?”

Uh oh. Time to do a little good old-fashioned groveling. “First of all, we’re not hooking up. But how did you know we were… talking?” Technically, that was all we were doing. I could still claim we were just friends since the man had barely touched me.

“He called me into his office today. Apparently, he’s concerned about your living arrangements.”

I couldn’t believe he’d outed us without even talking to me first, especially since he’d been the one demanding secrecy! “My living arrangements? Why is that any of his business? More importantly, why is he talking to you about it?”

Of course, he had tried to talk to me about it, but I wouldn’t tell my best friend he was trying to turn me into a kept woman.

“I’ll get to that in a minute,” Eleni said, sinking into the bright pink armchair across from me as she set her feet on the striped ottoman. Apparently, righteous indignation took a lot out of a girl. “First, I want you to start at the beginning, and don’t leave out a single detail. How did this happen? When did he contact you? Why? Have you two—”

“Would you just hold up a minute?” I said, raising my hand. “I’ll get to your questions one at a time.”

Since he’d decided it was time to let the cat out of the bag, I was finally free to unburden myself. Hallelujah. I wanted to know if Eleni thought I was crazy for getting mixed up with a controlling, sexy, opinionated, obsessive freak who was making me as crazy as he was.

“Fine.” She sighed. “How?”

“He just emailed me out of the blue one day. It started out innocent enough. He wanted to welcome me to the company and tell me how pleased he was with my first photo shoot. I responded politely, thanking him for the praise and opportunity. I told him I was excited to be a part of Alabaster’s and was looking forward to future opportunities with his company.”

“That’s it?” Eleni looked disappointed. “That doesn’t sound so scandalous.”

“No,” I said, stroking Rosie, who was napping with her chin on my leg. “His emails didn’t start shocking me until a few weeks later.”

Eleni looked delighted at the prospect of shocking information. She clapped as she tucked her legs under her butt and sat up straight. “Tell me more.” She beckoned with her hands. “What did he say? Did he tell you he wanted to do you?”

I winced at her tactlessness, even though after so many years of friendship, nothing surprised me. I was definitely the prude, and Eleni was the wild, adventurous one. Deacon probably should have emailed her instead of me. At least she wouldn’t have been on the verge of hyperventilating every time she was in a room alone with him.

“At first he just wanted to get to know me better. He asked about my family, how I got into modeling, where I went to school, what I studied, what my future aspirations are—stuff like that.”

Eleni fake-yawned. “Get to the good stuff. I need a nap before my date tonight.”

“Then he started asking about my relationship with Drew. He wanted to know how long we’d been together, whether I was planning to marry him, if I’d ever cheated on him.”

“What did you tell him?”

“That I’d never cheated and we’d talked about marriage but I was in no hurry. I said he was a decent guy, just not very ambitious.”

“That’s an understatement. His idea of a day’s work is going back and forth from the couch to the fridge a few times.”

“Anyway,” I said, determined to ignore her Drew jibes, “from there, the questions got more personal. He asked me how many lovers I’d had, about my sexual preferences, whether I’d ever experimented with certain things.”

“What kind of things?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows. Letting out an exasperated sigh when I didn’t rush to fill in the blanks, she whined, “Come on, you can’t just leave me hanging like that.”

“He asked if I’d ever been tied up, spanked, used toys…” I wrinkled my nose. “Maybe he asked if I used a vibrat—”

Eleni’s eyes widened. “He asked you all that in an email?”

“Yeah. For the first couple months, we just emailed back and forth, sometimes two or three times a day.”

“I still can’t believe you kept this from me!”

“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling a fresh wave of guilt. If she’d kept me in the dark about something like that, I would have been hurt too. “He swore me to secrecy. I think he was just testing me, you know, to see if he could trust me.”

“I guess he decided he could since he seems anxious to claim you now that Drew’s history.”

“He won’t be claiming me,” I said, not even trying to hide my disgust. “We’re not even in a relationship. Well, at least not officially.”

Eleni snorted. “Does he know that? ‘Cause he seemed pretty territorial when we talked about other guys hitting on you.”

“You talked about that? Why?”

“I think he wants me to put in a good word for him, convince you that you’d be crazy not to submit to his demands for raunchy sex.” She giggled. “Just for the record, I totally think you should do him. Get what you can out of him. Then when you’re tired of it, dump him. It would serve him right for treating all those other girls like trash.”

“You really think I’m experienced enough to play a guy like him?” My insides quivered at the mere suggestion of it. Someone like Deacon Starkis would eat me for breakfast. Hmmm… come to think of it, that sounded tempting.

“I think you’ve already got him hooked. Trust me. I saw the look on his face when he talked about you. The guy’s obsessed.” She seemed to consider that before adding, “But I don’t think he’s obsessed in a sick freak way. I think it’s more of an I’ll-destroy-any-guy-who-tries-to-take-you-away-from-me kind of way.”

I dropped my head into my hands. “Right, there’s nothing sick about that.”

“Oh, come on,” Eleni said, grabbing my knee. “You can’t deny it makes you hot to think about him going all alpha male and threatening some guy for hitting on you. There is nothing, and I do mean nothing, sexier than a good-looking rich guy getting possessive about his woman.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. “I thought we talked about this before, El. Fifty Shades was a work of fiction. Christian isn’t real.”

“Ha ha, very funny.” She bit her lip, clearly letting her imagination take her somewhere I didn’t want to go. “Imagine having a guy like Deacon so in love with you that he’d do anything to make you his, anything to protect you or prevent someone else from having you.” She fanned her face. “I get all hot just thinking about it.”

“I really don’t think I should encourage his unhealthy obsession,” I said, trying to be practical. “He’s already told me he can’t stop thinking about me. And the worst part is…” I waited until I had her back from her dream state before I finished. “I can’t stop thinking about him either. The guy’s like a goddamn drug. Once you take one hit, you can’t wait to get your next fix.” Not that I knew anything about drugs, but I assumed that was what it would be like.

“Does that mean you two have—”

“No! I just broke up with Drew yesterday!”

“Oh please, you don’t think that weasel was getting some on the side when you were out working all day?”

My jaw dropped. “You think he was?” Thinking about it turned my stomach. Ewww.

What if he had screwed other girls in our bed? Come to think of it, I wouldn’t have put it past him. He better have changed the sheets. If not… oh hell, I didn’t know what I’d do, but I was sure Eleni could help me think of something sinister. Revenge was her strong suit, especially when it came to cheating boyfriends.

She shrugged. “Sure. You give any guy the means and opportunity, and he’ll do it.”

“Nice, El. Real nice.”

I knew she didn’t have a high opinion of the opposite sex, but I preferred to believe there were still some honest, decent, trustworthy guys out there. Or maybe Eleni was right, and I’d been working my ass off so he could do random girls in our apartment…

“Oh, who cares about him? I wanna talk more about Starkis. What are you going to do about him?”

I weighed my options. “For starters, I’m going to go to his office and let him have it for telling you about us before I could and talking to you about my living arrangements. Who the hell does he think he is?” I decided I should have all the facts before I ambushed him. “What did he say about that, by the way?”

“He’s totally on board with us being roommates, but he wants to move you—no, us—into a nicer building.” She looked around her cute bachelorette pad. “It should take me an hour or two to pack. Let’s move tomorrow.”

“Are you crazy?”

Rhetorical question. She was totally crazy, which was part of the reason I loved her.

“I can’t move just because he wants me to. If I do, he’ll think he can bark orders and expect me to obey.”

“Right, ‘cause moving into a swanky apartment on his dime would be sooooo terrible, right?”

“That’s not the point, and you know it. I want to take care of myself. You know what my parents are like.”

She giggled. “Can you imagine the looks on their faces if they found out you were doing some billionaire Dom? Your old man would totally stroke out.”

“Not funny,” I said, glaring at her. I got a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I knew it had nothing to do with confronting Deacon. “You don’t really think he’s a Dom, do you?”

Eleni shrugged. “If he’s not, he’s definitely into rough sex. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I am too. He likes being in charge in the bedroom. Guys like that never relinquish control unless they’re on the verge...” She laughed as she slapped my thigh. “I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you let me watch him lose it just once.” She folded her hands under her chin. “Please? Please? Pretty please?”

I tossed a bright orange throw cushion at her, hitting her upside the head. “I think you’re the sick freak.”

***

I barged into Deacon’s office at eight o’clock that evening. Since his silver Lamborghini was one of the few cars left in the parking lot, I wasn’t too concerned about interrupting a meeting.

He looked up from his computer when I stormed in, and a smile quickly replaced his scowl. “They let you in without clearance?”

I plopped down in the seat across from him, trying not to notice how tempting he looked with his sleeves rolled up and no tie on. “The receptionist who usually guards your castle left for the day, and the security guard at the front desk has a crush on me, so he didn’t ask any questions.”

He frowned. “Which security guard is that?”

I spotted a stress ball on the corner of his desk. I doubted he used it; it looked like a promo item Alabaster’s gave away. I whipped it at his chest. “You’re not serious.”

He laughed, catching the ball before it hit him. “You have a pretty good arm.”

“Shut up, Deacon!” The nagging voice in the back of my head reminded me I was talking to my boss, but I told her to mind her own goddamn business and go back to sleep. “I’m pissed at you.”

He leaned back, kicking his feet up on the desk as he tossed the ball from one hand to the other and squeezed it. “Do tell.”

“You told Eleni about us.”

“So?”

“So you had no right to do that!”

He seemed totally unfazed by my anger, which only incensed me further.

“She’s my friend. I should have been the one to tell her, when—or if—I decided there was anything worth telling her.” That got his attention.

When he pinned me with that hot gaze, I feared he would demand I bend over the desk and take my punishment like a brave girl.

“I asked you not to tell anyone, including Eleni. You didn’t, and I appreciate that. Now that you’re single, I’ve decided it’s time your best friend know about our… relationship.”

The way he said relationship made me feel as though he had been seeking a different word but come up short. Arrangement, perhaps? Was that what this was to him?

Not willing to let him have the last word, I said, “We’re not in a relationship. We’re still getting to know each other. If I like what I see, I might agree to date you, though not exclusively. I’ve been tied down too long to get serious again so soon.” I swallowed, averting my eyes when the thin skin across his knuckles turned white from the pressure he was inflicting on the ball.

“Let me get this straight. You might agree to date me—though not exclusively?”

I was almost afraid to push him further, but if I backed down, that would set a precedent for all future arguments. “That’s right. If you have a problem with that, we can part ways now and—”

He planted his feet on the floor and made his way around the desk slowly, like a panther preparing to devour its prey. He gripped the armrests of my chair, his face a fraction of an inch from mine. I held my breath—waiting, praying, and trying to predict what he might do next.

Pushing him had been a very bad idea.

“You really think that’s an option?” he whispered.

I tried to be brave, hoping he couldn’t see the fear in my eyes. I felt I knew him, but according to Eleni’s model friends, he had a private side I had yet to see. I wasn’t so sure I was ready to stir the beast tonight… or any night.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you, Mia.”

I forced myself to tip my head back and look him in the eye, but his close proximity meant his lips were hovering over mine.

“You may consider dating me, but you intend to date other men as well. Is that what you’re telling me?”

It had seemed perfectly reasonable when I’d proposed it. I had been in a serious relationship forever, and I would have been reckless to engage in another without taking the appropriate amount of time to analyze what had gone wrong with Drew. But the way Deacon glared at me made it seem as if I’d suggested skinning his cat.

“Answer me,” he said.

I tightened my grip on my armrests, trying to steel my courage. I knew he was used to people kowtowing to him, but I wouldn’t be one of his cronies. “Generally relationships evolve slowly, often starting as friendships. Is that such a far-fetched idea?”

“That depends.” He seemed to consider his next words carefully. “I’m not interested in forcing you into something before you’re ready. That would never work, but I’m not entering into this impulsively. I’ve been thinking about this for some time now.”

The way he said “this” made me tremble, perhaps because when he said it, he lowered his head to the crook of my neck and whispered in my ear. I had no doubt he was referring to an intimate relationship, and while the prospect of being with a man like him thrilled me, it also terrified me. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

He wedged his leg between mine, planting his knee between my thighs. “What’s wrong, Mia? You’re so quiet.”

His hands landed on the back of my chair, behind my head, and seriously limited my escape options. I was caged in, but instead of feeling anxious, I was aroused.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Talk to me about your dating prospects. What kind of man are you looking for?”

You. Of course, I couldn’t say that. It would only feed his already enormous ego and make it seem as though I was wavering already. “Someone who listens to me.”

“Hmmm…” He skimmed his mouth across my neck, and an involuntary gasp burst from my lips. “Ask me anything—anything you’ve shared with me. I guarantee I’ll remember.”

“What’s my favorite flavor of ice cream?” I asked, deciding the best way to gain the upper hand was to prove him a liar.

“Peanut butter chocolate.”

Damn, that had been too easy. “My shoe size?”

“Seven.” His tongue flicked out, tracing the outer shell of my ear.

I felt moisture pool between my legs. “What does my father do?”

He chuckled as he reared back to look into my eyes. “You really think I could forget that?”

“No, I guess not,” I said, blushing.

“If you’re looking for an attentive man, you’ve found him.”

With his knee between my legs and his deep voice skating over my nerve endings, I opened my legs wider, releasing my grip on the chair.

“You’ve captured my interest. Exclusively. When I’m with you, you have my undivided attention. When you tell me something, I will remember. I can promise you that.”

I supposed that was his way of letting me know he had no reservations about being in a monogamous relationship with me. Assuming he knew the meaning of the word. “You talk a good game, Deacon. But actions speak louder than words. I’d rather reserve judgment until you’ve proven yourself to me.”

“Proven myself to you?” He looked amused by my choice of words. I was sure he wasn’t often expected to prove anything to anyone. “How would you like me to do that?”

“Explain to me how you see this playing out.”

He stunned me by capturing my face before I could take my next breath. His lips were warm, and his breath tasted faintly of the abandoned cappuccino on his desk. His tongue swept inside my mouth without hesitation or permission. He didn’t wait for me to respond or acquiesce. He simply took what he wanted and made me want it too. Within seconds, I had wrapped my arms around his neck and threaded my hands through his cropped dark hair. I moaned into his mouth as he deepened the erotic kiss. Passionate didn’t begin to describe it; it was all-consuming.

“Stand up,” he said, his breathing sounding much more even than mine.

I stood, knowing it wasn’t a request. His words were a demand, and given the dangerous gleam in his eye, I didn’t dare cross him.

“You asked me how I see this playing out.” He circled me, his hand skimming the backs of my upper thighs.

I was wearing my favorite pair of faded denim cut-offs, a bright pink tank top, and flat silver sandals. I hadn’t had a change of clothes at Eleni’s, and I hadn’t wanted him to think I felt the need to primp to see him. I wouldn’t be his Barbie doll outside of work. Either he’d like me for me or not at all.

Moving behind me, he pressed his erection firmly into my bottom. “I see you as mine.”

His hands settled possessively on my hips as I tried desperately to rein in my reaction to him. He was seeking the upper hand, and I was letting him have it without question. That was so unlike me.

“Yours?” I fisted my hands at my sides to curb the urge to touch him. He was addictive. One taste, and I wanted more. “I’m not a possession. I’m a woman. You either want to be with me, as in be my partner and my equal, or this won’t go any further.” I couldn’t believe I was challenging the man who could end my entire career with a single sentence. Was I crazy to think I had any negotiating power in this relationship?

I was about to find out.

Chapter Six

Deacon

No woman had ever challenged me the way she did.

Growing up the eldest son of the Demetrius Starkis had meant people respected me because they feared my old man. After I became a force to be reckoned with in my own right, women simply did as I asked without question. Except for Mia. She was the only exception.

“You want me to be your equal partner?” I couldn’t supress my amusement. In the balance of power, I would always come out on top.

“That’s what I want.”

She was trying so hard to stand her ground and show me she was too smart and strong to be manipulated, but I already knew that. I’d taken months to get to know her because she intrigued me. She was gorgeous, but she was also compassionate and talented and loving. She wrote incredible short stories and poems that she’d attached to some of her emails—at my insistence. They’d given me a glimpse into her soul, convincing me I’d found the one person who could make me want to forsake all others.

If anyone had asked, I would have said I was content with my life. I’d loved spending time with many beautiful women. Then I’d met Mia, and everything changed. I started seeing blondes exclusively. I stopped kissing my dates. I stopped pleasuring them orally. When a woman insisted on pleasuring me, I closed my eyes and pretended it was her. I’d still had a lot of sex in the three months since I’d first seen Mia’s pictures, but in my mind, I had been with her every time.

“Deacon?”

I’d obviously been lost in my thoughts about how long I’d been waiting for the moment she would finally be mine. “You will be my lover, the object of my unwavering affection.” I kissed her cheek and ran my hands up and down her arms, raising thrill bumps on the first pass. “I will take care of you. I will protect you. I will adore you.”

“Deacon, I—”

“Ssssh…” I brushed her hair aside so my lips could travel up the smooth column of her neck. “You will never want for anything, theia.” My goddess. “As long as you are faithful to me and never give me reason to distrust you, we will be happy together.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“We’re compatible.” Unlike dating services that matched people based on random questions, I’d been very specific with mine, gathering answers that told me she was a woman who would stand by my side no matter what happened.

She laughed. “I don’t know how you can say that. I wouldn’t have a clue how to fit into your world.”

It was true that mine was a life of privilege. I’d grown up in mansions, attended exclusive private schools, and had vacation properties spread out over every continent. I had been bred for success from the time I was old enough to speak. We’d had maids, butlers, and chauffeurs, but the one thing I’d never had was a person I felt I belonged to, who belonged to me. That was what I wanted with Mia.

“Just be yourself,” I said.

Mia was stunning, and she carried herself with the grace and elegance of a debutante thanks to her years of training as a model. She would captivate the men in my social circle as quickly as the women would learn to despise her because she wasn’t shallow and petty like them. She was real. Genuine. Authentic. That was the reason I was falling in love with her.

“That’s easy for you to say. You fit in anywhere. You’re welcome everywhere. People must fall all over themselves to cater to you.” She shuddered, prompting me to close my arms around her. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

I couldn’t let her consider fleeing, not when I was so close to making her mine. “If you let me in, your life will never be the same.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

I chuckled because I valued her honesty. It was a rare quality in a world where most were so intent on pleasing me that they were afraid to state their own opinions or feelings.

“You don’t have to be afraid of this or of me.”

I set my chin on her shoulder and flattened my hand over her stomach. She was toned with lush curves, which made her the perfect swimsuit or lingerie model, but I knew before long, I would have to break it to her that she couldn’t model lingerie or swimwear anymore. She was mine, and the only person who could admire her near-naked body was me.

“But I am.” She turned in my arms. “You’re not the kind of man I could walk away from—”

“No, I’m not.” Leaving me wasn’t an option. “And I’ll never give you reason to want to walk away. I’ll give you everything.” I kissed her tenderly, expressing with that kiss everything I knew she wasn’t ready to hear. “I’ll be your everything.”

She gasped when I slid my hand under her shirt and popped open the front clasp of her bra. Cupping her breast, I rolled her nipple while grazing her jaw with my late-evening stubble. “I want to mark you. I want the world to know you’re mine.” My lips trailed down to her neck, biting and sucking until she was tearing my shirt loose of my pants.

“Deacon, no, stop.” She flattened her palms against my chest. “I can’t have marks on me—the show.”

Of course, she was right. It was juvenile of me to want to mark her in such a crass way. Even as a teenager, I hadn’t engaged in such tasteless behavior, but something about Mia made me want to claim her in the most basic way. “Hmmm, I know. You’re right.” I peeled off her tank top, reaching for the buttons on her shorts.

“Wait,” she said, grasping my wrists. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

I smiled, cradling her beautiful face. I felt like the luckiest man in the world. Not because my family was one of the wealthiest in the world or because the business I’d built from the ground up was one of the most profitable retailers in the country. She made me feel lucky.

“I want you, Mia. More than I’ve ever wanted anything. But not now.”

She looked surprised and a little hurt. “Not now?”

“I’ve been thinking about this a long time. No way will our first time be bent over my desk, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to pleasure you, to give you a taste of what’s to come.”

“Oh…” Her tongue slid across her lush lower lip.

“Don’t think. Just relax and enjoy.” I unfastened her shorts and pushed them over her hips. “Kick them aside.” I waited for her to comply.

She wore hot pink lace panties, a pair I recognized from our last collection.

“I’m going to make you feel things you’ve never felt before,” I whispered as I nudged her feet apart with mine. “I’m going to own your body and control your pleasure.”

Just as she was about to protest, I slipped my hand inside her panties and circled her engorged nub with my thumb. She was more than ready, and I had no doubt that with some gentle prodding, she would go off like a rocket.

“You like that, don’t you, my love?”

She didn’t respond, nor did she have to. I saw it in the way her eyes drifted closed as her head rolled back in the ultimate act of surrender.

“Beautiful, so beautiful.” Watching her enjoy the pleasure I gave took my breath away. “Brace your hands on the desk behind you and spread your legs wider.”

She looked down at her flushed body and heaving breasts, probably thinking she looked wanton and desperate. She was oblivious to how stunning she was. “I don’t think we should be doing this here.” Her eyes flicked to the door. “What if someone walks in?”

I was amused by her concern. No one other than her would dare enter my private quarters without knocking, but I would validate her fear and put her mind at ease. Anything to make her believe that I would put her first—always.

Crossing to the door, I turned the lock. “Better?”

“I, uh, guess so.”

“I told you, you have nothing to fear. Do you trust me?”

“I think so,” she whispered.

“I will not make love to you tonight. This is all about your pleasure, about me getting to know you better.” Before long, I would know her body better than she did. “Okay?”

“Okay.” Her teeth sank into her bottom lip before her eyes scanned my body from head to toe. “You have too many clothes on.”

I treated her to a smile. “If I take my clothes off now, I won’t be able to honor the promise I made to you, and I always honor my promises. Especially to you.”

Her eyes softened, and I could tell I was earning her trust. She wasn’t a woman to trade love and sex for material things. She gave freely, but only when she was in love, and for me, the reward would be worth the wait.

I reached into the pen dispenser behind her and grabbed a pair of scissors. She watched as I glided the blade down her chest, between her breasts, and over her stomach. Her breath hitched when I reached her hip and kept going.

“This relationship is about trust,” I whispered, snipping the lace stretched across one of her hips before moving to the other. “You did as I asked by keeping our communication a secret for months, not even telling your best friend. That must have been difficult for you, but you proved to me that I can trust you. Now I’m going to prove that you can trust me.”

“I’m afraid to trust you completely.” She looked so vulnerable, her blue eyes radiant and filled with untold emotions. “There’s so much about you I don’t know, but what I do know scares me.”

I stepped back, trying not to get distracted by her perfection. This was an important conversation, one we had to have before we took our relationship to the next level. Without her trust, I had nothing. “Tell me what you’re afraid of.”

“I’m afraid I’ll fall for you and you’ll break my heart.”

More than anything, I wanted to hold her and tell her that would never happen, but only time would prove my sincerity to her. “What’s the alternative?”

“To leave here now and spend the rest of my life wondering what might have been.” Her hands were still planted on the desk behind her, her firm breasts jutting out to tease me.

“Can you live with that?” I crossed my arms as I tried to resist temptation. “Can you live with the regret?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head slowly.

“Then what do you plan to do?”

She seemed to consider her options. “I guess I don’t have a choice.”

“You always have a choice. No one is holding you here against your will.”

If she tried to leave, I would use every trick in my arsenal to convince her to stay though.

“I know that.”

“But you need to understand something.” I paused to ensure I had her undivided attention. “Although I do not intend to make love to you tonight, I will give you pleasure with the expectation that you are mine. Exclusively. I don’t share. Ever. Is that understood?”

She met my eyes with a flash of defiance, followed closely by submission. “Yes.”

“I will never again hear you utter nonsense about ‘dating other people’?” I used air quotes to accentuate the words I had found so absurd. She’d actually suggested I share her. Never. Going. To. Happen. “You will date me. You will make love to me. And only me. Yes?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” I smiled to let her know I was pleased. “Now, where were we?” I closed the distance between us, but just as I was about to touch her, she grabbed my wrist.

“Is this how it’s going to be? You withhold pleasure until I bend to your will? You use sex, my own body, as a weapon against me?”

I peeled her fingers off my wrist, my expression unyielding. “I am not withholding pleasure. I am merely setting the terms for our arrangement so there is no confusion about what either of us expects from the other.”

“You’ve talked a lot about what you expect from me, but you’ve never assured me I can expect the same from you.”

“A mere oversight on my part.” I brushed my body against hers, taunting her as my soft cotton shirt teased her nipples into hard peaks. “I assure you I will not share myself with anyone else.” She shuddered involuntarily, pleasing me immeasurably. “My body is yours for the taking. As is my heart.” I’d never said that to another woman, and she seemed to understand the significance of it.

Her wide eyes captured mine. “You’re saying everything I want to hear, but—”

“You still doubt me.” I skimmed her high cheekbones with my lips. “I understand. If I were you, I would have doubts too. Only time will prove I do mean what I say. With each day, you will trust me a little more until finally you won’t be able to remember a time when you didn’t trust me with your life.”

“With my life?” she asked, seeming surprised. “I don’t know that I could trust anyone with my life.”

Tracing an index finger over the ridges and planes of her body, I said, “I don’t believe that. I think you trust Eleni with your life… your parents, your brother? No?”

“I guess you’re right.” Her breath hitched as my finger traced a line from one hip bone to the other. “But I always assumed it would be different with a lover.”

“Ah, but I will be more than your lover.” I slid my finger between her slick folds, back and forth, at a leisurely pace until her breath came in short bursts. “I will be your husband, the father of your children, your family.”

She choked out a laugh as I eased one finger, then another, inside her tight channel. “You’re crazy, Starkis. You don’t even know me.”

“I do know you, better than I know almost anyone.” I inhaled deeply, relishing the musky scent of her arousal. “You’ve shared personal things with me: secrets, fears, hopes, dreams. Few people know you as well as I do, and I don’t take the time to get to know most people as well as I have you.”

“You expect me to carry on a conversation when you’re doing that?” She whimpered, biting her lip as she tilted her head back and closed her eyes.

“God, you’re so gorgeous. You take my breath away.” That sounded like a cheesy line, but I had no other words to describe the way she made me feel.

“You’re doing a pretty good job of taking mine away too.” She rolled her head around, resting her chin on her chest. “Oh God, that feels so incredible.”

“Let go for me.”

Without any further prompting, she exploded, tensing around my fingers as her whole body trembled.

“Beautiful.” I loved that she took instruction when necessary and questioned me when she felt compelled to do so. I wanted to introduce her to pleasure unlike anything she’d ever experienced. I wanted to take care of her. But I wasn’t looking for a submissive woman.

I knelt in front of her, prying her legs apart when she seemed inclined to close them. “Open for me, sweetheart. I need to see you, to taste you. I’ve been waiting so long for this.”

“It’s too soon, Deacon.” She reached for my shoulder.

I gave her a pointed look. “Hands behind your back. Don’t move them until I tell you to.”

Her sex was seeping, and I was harder than I’d ever been, but I would try to prolong my own gratification. I’d never been restrained before, but I wanted our first time together to be special. I’d waited this long; I could wait a few more days. Even if it killed me.

Flicking my tongue over her swollen bud, I held her hips firmly when she bucked, trying to resist me.

“Hold still, or I’ll put you over my knee.” I wasn’t kidding, and the fight drained from her body. I relished the sight and smell of her, letting her test the limits of my control. I nipped at her before swirling my tongue through her slickness in a languid, never-ending loop.

“Jesus, Deacon… keep that up, and I’m gonna pass out.”

I loved turning her inside out because she was doing the same to me, and I was still fully clothed. I used my tongue leisurely, taking my time to enjoy her, until I could tell she was on the verge again.

Within seconds, she released an urgent cry I wished I could have captured with my mouth. But I couldn’t tear myself away from the sweet essence flooding past my lips. I licked her beyond the point of pleasure until she teetered on the edge of insanity, desperate for me to stop but feeling helpless, without an escape.

I stood, capturing her face in my hands before I locked eyes with her and plundered her mouth. The kiss was slow and sweet, my way of thanking her for trusting me with her body. It was a gift I never intended to take for granted.

“Let me,” she said, reaching for my belt buckle.

“Not tonight, my sweet.” The thought of her going down on me almost prompted me to table my plans, but I couldn’t. She was too important. “We’ll have plenty of time for that. I promise.”

“When?” she asked, pouting. “I want you.”

I felt as if I’d waited forever to hear those three little words from her luscious lips. Dozens of women had said them to me, but none had ever elicited the unfamiliar aching sensation in my chest that accompanied her words. “I want you too, more than you know, but we have to be patient. The wait will be so worth it. You have my word.”

Chapter Seven

Mia

“So that’s it?” Eleni sounded disappointed. “He didn’t even let you suck his—”

“Nope.” I was lying on El’s couch later, curled up in the fetal position. When I had returned to pick up Rosie, she invited me to stay. She’d claimed if her date was a bust, I’d make a good excuse for not inviting him up.

“That is so weird,” she said, filing her nails. “It doesn’t sound like him at all.”

“Maybe the stories you’ve heard about him are exaggerated.” I so wanted them to be. I didn’t want to believe Deacon was as cruel and heartless as his former lovers claimed. I wasn’t naïve enough to believe he was a nice guy, but I wanted him to have a modicum of decency. Otherwise our arrangement would come to an abrupt end in the not-too-distant future.

“Or maybe he’s just different with you than he was with those other girls,” Eleni said.

“I don’t know.” I sighed. “He said some pretty weird shit to me tonight. I don’t know whether he was serious or not. For all I know, he may say stuff like that to every girl he’s trying to get into bed.”

Eleni sat up straighter. “What kind of stuff? Tell me. Word for word.”

Being able to share everything with my best friend again was nice, especially since I needed someone who could be more objective than I could where the boss man was concerned. “He said he didn’t want me dating anyone else.”

Eleni rolled her eyes. “Duh. You really thought that control freak would be willing to share you?”

“I guess not.” I didn’t feel comfortable telling her what he’d said verbatim, but I needed her input to know whether I was reading too much into it. “He kind of indicated he was looking for a more permanent arrangement. You think he was just saying that to get me into bed?”

Eleni laughed. “You really think that guy needs to work for it?”

It bothered me that female companionship came so easily to him, probably because I knew what I would be up against if our relationship ever did get serious.

“Hey,” Eleni said, leaning forward to look me in the eye, “I don’t mean to bum you out. This is the most exciting thing that’s happened to either one of us in… ever. I say you should just have fun with it. Don’t overanalyze it. Don’t expect too much, but don’t be too guarded either. Let him in, but protect your heart. Don’t let him hurt you.”

I was worried that if I let him in, I wouldn’t be able to protect my heart. Every time I saw or spoke to him, it seemed as if he stole another little piece of it. “I’ll try, but—”

My cell phone vibrated on the coffee table as Deacon’s name flashed across the screen.

“Oh, it’s him!” Eleni squealed as she clapped. “He misses you already. Okay, I’m going to go have bubbles, but I want to hear everything he said when I get out, okay?”

“Sure.” My heart thudded as I answered his call. I heard Eleni’s feet padding down the hallway as I said, “Hey, Deacon. What’s up?”

“Where the hell are you?”

I held the phone away from my ear and stared at the screen. Yup, it was him, but he sounded nothing like the sexy, composed man I’d left a few hours earlier. “Well, hello to you too, lover.” It wasn’t a good idea to bait him when he was in a mood, but I couldn’t help myself.

“You ditched your bodyguard so you could go where…?” The steely calm was back in his voice. Damn, he was hot, even when he was mad at me.

“Oh, so you heard I introduced myself to Nate tonight? He is such a sweetheart. And so sexy.” No doubt about it, the next time I saw him, he would be putting me over his knee. Yum. “My God, those shoulders and that tight ass—”

“Don’t. I’m not playing.”

Something in his voice told me I couldn’t push him any further, so I sighed in resignation. “I spotted some guy parked outside your building when I left. He was in a black sedan with tinted windows. I figured that must have been your guy, so I hopped in the passenger’s seat.”

“You did what?”

“Oh, he didn’t tell you that part, huh?” I hoped Deacon didn’t have an issue with high blood pressure. If he did, my teasing may prompt him to stroke out. “Yeah, I hopped in, and we had a nice chat. I asked him about his life, told him about mine, and then I told him to take the rest of the night off.”

“He works for me, not you.”

“But he’s guarding my body.”

“Maybe I need to rethink that.”

“You can’t!” Jumping to Nate’s defense wouldn’t help his cause, but I had to make my obsessive freak see reason. My obsessive freak? Since when had I decided that? Must have been when he’d had his head buried between my legs and refused to come up for air. “His mother’s in the hospital. He’s working two jobs to pay her medical bills.”

“How the hell do you know that?”

“I told you I asked him about his life and told him about mine.”

“I don’t like this. I hired a bodyguard to watch your back, not your ass.”

“Oh, please.” I told myself his Neanderthal act would get old in a hurry, but at the moment, it was kind of flattering. “He’s a nice guy. If he’s going to be tailing me, we may as well be friends.”

“You don’t have to be friends with him.” Deacon sounded exasperated. “You don’t even have to talk to him or look at him. In fact, I’d prefer if you didn’t.”

“Too bad. I like him, and I’ve decided we’re going to be friends.” I knew a relationship with Deacon would be all about concessions, with me making most of them, but I had to stand my ground sometimes. This seemed as good a time as any.

“Maybe I’ve decided to fire him before you can get too close.”

“You think that would stop me from being friends with him? Ha. You don’t know me as well as you think you do, Starkis. Go ahead. Fire him. Then I’ll bust my butt to help him find another job.”

“You are the most infuriating woman I’ve ever met.” He heaved a sigh. “Care to tell me how you convinced him to take the rest of the night off?”

“He said he hadn’t been able to visit his mother for nearly three weeks because he’d been working so many hours. So I told him to go see her tonight. I assured him I would hop in a cab and go straight home.”

“But you didn’t go straight home. So I’ll ask again—where the hell are you?”

“How do you know I didn’t go home?” I sat up, looking around the small apartment. I half-expected to see him scaling Eleni’s balcony. Yes, he was that crazy.

“I stopped by your place, and you weren’t there.”

“Why did you stop by?”

“I had a change of heart about waiting,” he said, lowering his voice. “After you left, I couldn’t get you out of my head. I needed to be with you.”

My heart melted because I knew he wasn’t accustomed to admitting neediness. I decided to put him out of his misery. “I’m really sorry I missed you, baby. I came back to El’s to pick up Rosie, and she asked me to crash here. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Say that again.”

I frowned. “Which part?”

“‘Baby.’ Say that again.”

I smiled at the way the endearment rolled around his tongue. His accent was so delicious that I could have gotten off just listening to his voice.

“Baby.”

He groaned. “What the hell are you doing to me? Before I met you, I was perfectly sane—”

I masked my laugh with a cough. “Sorry, but there’s no way you’re going to convince me you were sane or normal. You’re a sexy, obsessive, gorgeous control freak with an obscene amount of money. There is nothing normal about you.”

He chuckled. “Touché. Come to my place, sweetheart. Spend the night with me.”

This was all happening so fast my head was spinning. My boyfriend had just moved out, and my boss was asking me to become his lover. How weird was that?

“I can’t.” I smiled when he grunted. For all of his sophistication, he often behaved like a petulant child, and I found that strangely endearing. “Sorry, but Eleni asked me first. You’ll just have to wait your turn.”

“Have you two ever…?”

It took me a minute to realize what he was asking. “What? God, no! You can’t be serious.”

He laughed. “Calm down. I was just asking.”

“Were you hoping we had?”

“No way. Then I’d have to worry about her pleasuring you instead of me. I told you I don’t intend to share you with anyone.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Yeah, about you.”

“I have to get some sleep now.”

“Have dinner with me tomorrow night,” he said.

“I can’t. My brother’s in town, and I haven’t seen him in six months.”

“Invite him to dinner with us. I’d love to meet him.”

I could imagine my brother’s reaction to the news that I was dating my boss only days after breaking up with my boyfriend. Chad had never been Drew’s biggest fan, but I suspected he would have serious issues with Deacon’s jealous streak, not to mention his history with women.

“It’s too soon. He doesn’t even know I broke up with Drew yet.”

“Ugh, don’t mention his name to me.” After a beat, Deacon asked, “Did he give you a hard time when he came to get his things?”

“I wasn’t there.”

“Smart girl. Okay, you can’t have dinner with me tomorrow night. How about Friday?”

“Sorry, no can do. It’s a girls’ night. We planned it weeks ago.”

“A girls’ night? I’m not sure I like the sound of that.”

“I can invite Nate into the bar to chaperone if that would make you feel better,” I said as a slow grin spread across my face. I was going to have so much fun teasing Deacon. Maybe Eleni was right. Maybe I was a bad girl.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he growled. “Who are you going out with?”

“Just me and Eleni and a few of the girls from work.”

“You mean some of the other models? Who?” He sounded nervous, which led me to believe he had more to hide than he was letting on.

“Melanie, Christie, and Edie.”

“Shit, Mia, I don’t want you going out with them!”

“Why not?” I asked, getting the sinking feeling I’d be smart to let it go.

“Because I don’t want…” He slowly released a breath. “I don’t want them talking to you about me.”

“Why would they?” When he didn’t respond, I felt queasy. “Have you been with all of them?” His silence spoke volumes. “Oh my God, I don’t believe this.”

“Sweetheart, listen to me—”

“I have to go.” I hung up before he could finish.

I knew he would call right back, which he did. I turned my phone off and slipped it under the throw pillow I’d stuck under my head as I slid down the couch. I tugged the faux-fur throw over me, and that was how Eleni found me a few minutes later.

Her cell phone rang, and I grabbed her wrist before she could answer it.

“If it’s him, please don’t answer it.”

Eleni frowned at the screen. “It is him, but why is he calling me?”

“Because I hung up on him and turned my phone off.” I rolled onto my back, flinging an arm over my eyes.

“You realize my address is in my personnel file, right? He’s probably gonna show up here if you don’t answer.”

“Shit, I hadn’t thought of that.” I couldn’t escape him. He’d slowly infiltrated every part of my life.

“What happened? Why don’t you want to talk to him?”

“He told me he’s slept with Mel, Edie, and Christie.” Just thinking about it put a sour taste in my mouth. Yuck. He’d slept with three of my friends.

“So? You already knew he was a man-whore.”

An apt description, but how could I convince myself a man-whore could be faithful, or that he would even want to? Maybe he was looking for a more permanent arrangement for a reason, like family pressure or to enhance his public image. Hell, maybe he had political aspirations. Perhaps having a wife would just make his life easier. He’d make me fall in love with him and marry him. Then he’d set me up in some mansion to wait for him to come home while he was out sticking it in anything with a pulse.

“I can see the wheels turning.” Eleni sat at the end of the couch and put my feet in her lap. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“This doesn’t make any sense. He wasted so much time pursuing me with the emails and gifts…” I sighed. “Why? Why would he do that? Like you said, he has no problem attracting women. Why would he go after one with a boyfriend?”

“You’re thinking it was just a game to him?” Eleni asked. “He wanted to see if he could lure you away from Drew?”

“What if it was?” I scrambled to sit up. “What if he’s just some sick freak who gets off on manipulating women?”

Eleni tapped my thigh a few times with her palm before she said, “If he was the reason you broke up with Drew, I owe him big-time.”

“He wasn’t. I broke up with Drew because it just wasn’t working anymore.”

The last year of my relationship played out in my mind—the things Drew had done and said, the fights we’d had—and I wondered why I hadn’t ended the relationship sooner. Comfort. Security. Fear.

“I have no regrets about that.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Eleni leaned her head against my shoulder as she claimed part of the throw. “But can you honestly say your decision had nothing to do with Deacon?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it did, but it was the right decision. I have no doubt about that.”

“So maybe that’s the reason Deacon came into your life—to help you see that you had no future with Drew.”

Eleni subscribed to the theory that everything happened for a reason and no one entered your life without some pre-determined plan contrived by the cosmic gods of fate.

“You really think that’s the only reason?” I was doubtful.

“Maybe that and to help put you in touch with your sexuality.” She giggled. “I keep telling you there’s a naughty girl inside you begging to come out and play. If anyone can lure her out, that man can.”

“I don’t know if I’m up for his games.” It wasn’t that I was a prude. Granted I hadn’t experimented much because Drew had been my only lover and the very definition of vanilla, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t curious about how the other half lived. I pictured myself being led around some sex club while wearing a collar, and I shuddered. “I’m never going to be one of those submissive women. If that’s what he thinks, he’s wasting his time with me.”

Eleni’s phone rang again, and she rolled her eyes when I shook my head frantically. “You don’t know that’s what he’s looking for. Just because he had that kind of relationship with the others—”

“Hold it,” I said, gripping El’s knee. “Are you telling me you know for a fact this guy turned our friends into his submissives?”

Eleni squirmed under my incredulous stare. “No one has actually used that word to describe him. Let’s just say his controlling nature carries over into the bedroom.”

That was no surprise given our earlier encounter. I’d never thought he was one of those closet submissive guys who ruled with an iron fist in the board room but got off on surrendering control in the bedroom. Being dominant was in his nature, but that didn’t mean I wanted to be dominated. Did I? Before I could voice my concerns, someone pounded on the door.

“I told you so,” Eleni muttered.

“Wait,” I said, grabbing her arm. “You can’t let him in.”

She tried to shake me off. “I have to. You know my landlady lives just down the hall, and she’s a real tight-ass about noise late at night. Besides, the guy’s my boss, and I can’t afford to lose my job. Especially not with my latte addiction.”

I tried to smile at her lame joke, but my stomach was all tied up in knots. I was angry with him for thinking he could strong-arm his way into my safe zone and intimidate my best friend. I was angry with myself for having mixed feelings about seeing him again. I tried to beat down the anticipation, but it was too strong, too overpowering.

“I am so sorry to trouble you so late at night, Elenitsa.”

I looked up at the mention of my best friend’s given name. He had done his homework. What else did he know about my loved ones?

“What are you doing here, Deacon?” I wrapped the blanket around my shoulders as I tore my eyes away from him to focus on the Big Bang rerun on the flat screen. “I thought I made it clear I don’t want to talk to you.”

He smiled at El, ignoring me. “I don’t mean to make this awkward for you, but I really do need to speak to Mia. It can’t wait.” He passed her a key ring, and her eyes widened when she saw the Lamborghini logo. “Would you mind giving us some time? The car is all gassed up. Take it for a spin.”

“Are you serious?” she asked, gripping the key fob tightly, as though she feared he might change his mind.

“Of course.” He smiled indulgently. “Have fun.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

I glared at my friend’s back as she collected clothes and headed back into the bathroom to change. “I wish you would leave.”

“Not until we have a chance to talk.”

Rosie danced around Deacon’s feet. Surprisingly, she didn’t jump up on his leg, begging to be petted, the way she did with most people. She was probably waiting for his permission. Typical female.

He crouched down and scratched her under the chin with a soft smile. “This must be the infamous Rosie.”

I tried to look the other way when he tucked the little white furball under his arm and continued stroking her. My delighted Rosie licked his hand in complete adoration.

Little traitor, no more chew sticks for you!

He waited until Eleni was out of the apartment before he set Rosie down and glared at me with his hands on his hips. “Don’t do that again!”

“I don’t take orders from you!” I refused to tear my eyes away from the screen. I was sure if I did, he would be glaring daggers at me. “Are you a Dominant?” I gave in to the temptation to sneak a peek.

My question had clearly caught him off guard. The hard set of his angled jaw had softened to the point it was almost slack, evidence of his disbelief at my gall perhaps. “Would it be a deal-breaker if I were?”

“Yes.” Would it? I liked to think so, but nothing was a sure thing where he was concerned. “So are you?”

“No.” He seemed to consider his next words carefully. “I guess it depends on your definition of a Dom. I like to be in control in the bedroom. I like women who aren’t afraid to submit to seeking pleasure, who trust me to take care of them. I don’t need the kink, but I am very specific about the partners I seek.”

I was mortified when hot tears pricked my eyes. “Is that why you chose Mel, Christie, and Edie? Because they fit the mold?” I wouldn’t look at him. I couldn’t. If I did, he’d see the effect the conversation was having on me, and I refused to give him the upper hand.

“You’re crying,” he said softly. He sat beside me, drawing the blanket away so I was exposed to him.

I’d borrowed a tank and a pair of yoga shorts from Eleni, but he made me feel naked. “I’m not crying.” The emotion clogging my voice made a liar of me. There was no logical reason I should have been so upset. So he was a reputed man-whore who’d banged most of my friends. Why should I care? I hadn’t even slept with the man. Nor would I now that I knew the truth. Maybe that was why I was crying.

He kissed my palm as his eyes locked with mine. “I’m sorry my actions have hurt you. That was never my intent.” His apology seemed so heartfelt and was so unexpected that it only added to my turmoil.

“You don’t owe me an explanation or an apology. You can live your life however you see fit. If sleeping with countless women makes you feel like more of a man, knock yourself out.”

“Watch it, Mia.” His steely tone drew my attention. “I’m furious you shut me out tonight. I’m trying to cut you some slack because I can see that you’re upset, but don’t make the mistake of thinking you can push me too far.”

I tried to withdraw my hand, but he refused to let it go. “I just don’t understand what you want from me. I’m not like those girls. I’m not experienced or easy. I’m not into casual sex or experimentation. I’m just an ordinary girl looking for a nice guy who treats me with respect.”

He cradled my hand in his lap as he shifted his body to face me. “There is nothing ordinary about you, theia. That is the reason I must have you. There is something about you, something so special, that I have not found in anyone else. I can’t describe it. I just feel it.”

I tried to deny that his words had hit their mark and softened my anger, but it was pointless. He was wearing me down.

“I am not a nice man,” he said almost reluctantly. “I can be cruel, even heartless. I don’t give people second chances, nor do I tolerate stupidity. I expect a lot from myself and those around me, but I’m willing to give a lot in return.”

I had no doubt he spoke the truth, which I appreciated because I knew it wasn’t easy for him to be so open. I slowly met his gaze. “What do you expect from me?”

“Fidelity. Honesty. Respect. Love.” He responded so quickly I knew he’d been thinking about it for some time.

“And what will you give me?”

His lips curved into a slow smile. “Anything you could ever want.”

He was referring to material things, which incensed me. How could he not know that wouldn’t impress me? I was more interested in his heart than his bank account.

“Can you give me what you’re asking of me? Fidelity, honesty, respect, and love?”

He considered his response. “I will try.”

“That’s not good enough.”

He squeezed my hand harder. “You don’t make this easy for me.”

“Isn’t that what sets me apart from all the others?” I enjoyed the shift in his demeanor when I challenged him. “Isn’t that what you like about me, that I don’t make it easy for you? If I did, you’d move on to the next conquest.”

His eyes narrowed. “That’s really what you think?”

“I have no doubt.”

He stoked my cheek with his free hand. “You are wrong. So wrong. But I understand why you feel that way. You are smart to be cautious. We’re just getting to know each other, but soon it will be obvious to you that you can trust me. With your life.”

The way he said that sent a chill up my spine. Would there ever come a time when I would willingly put my life in his hands? I thought of sex games that involved choking and wondered if he would ever demand that level of trust from me just to get off.

“You want to talk about the other women. Yes?”

No! I didn’t want to even think about him having sex with other women. If he were just some random guy I was dating, his former lovers wouldn’t even have crossed my mind. But Deacon had slept with my friends, and I knew the topic would come up when they found out I was dating him.

“What drew you to them?” I asked, mentally punching out the jealousy rearing her ugly head.

“I was drawn to each of them for different reasons.” He stroked my hand, looking thoughtful. “Obviously they are all very beautiful, but—”

“Stop!” I raised my free hand, shaking my head. “I don’t want to hear any more. I thought I did, but I don’t. Just tell me this: did you love any of them? Was it serious?” I frowned when he looked confused. “Did you pursue any of them the way you pursued me?”

He threw his head back and laughed as though my intent had been to amuse him. “I have never pursued anyone the way I’ve pursued you. That’s not to say I haven’t sent the odd woman a bouquet of flowers to thank her for a nice date or given a lover a birthday gift out of obligation, but I have never, ever taken so much time to get to know someone.”

I was somewhat relieved that his past relationships hadn’t been serious, but I didn’t know how I would feel seeing my friends tomorrow night since I knew about their pasts with Deacon. Would I look at them and imagine them having sex with him? How could I not?

“Still, that doesn’t put your mind at ease, does it?”

Rosie jumped into his lap without waiting for an invitation, making him smile.

“Maybe you can help me, Rosie.” He looked her in the eye. “How can I get through to your mistress? To make her see she is the only woman for me?”

My heart melted a little. Since Drew had treated Rosie as an annoyance at best, Deacon scored points for recognizing how much she meant to me.

“I’ll try to get past your relationships with my friends if you’ll ease up about Nate.”

“Nate?” He set Rosie between us as he settled his arm on the back of the couch behind my head. “Are we back to that again? What is it about that guy that has you so worked up?”

Rosie bounded off the couch at his sharp tone. Nice. Real Nice. So much for protecting her mistress. Ah, what could I expect from a ten-pound furry diva who wore hot pink barrettes and a crystal collar?

Deciding I only had one way to get the upper hand with this infuriating man, I climbed into his lap and straddled him.

“What are you doing?” He looked amused as he rested his hands on my hips.

“Trying to make you see reason.”

His grip on my hips tightened as I shamelessly ground against his hard length. “What I see is that arguing with me turns you on.”

“No, it doesn’t.” I wasn’t very convincing with my head rolling around like a cheap plastic bobble head. “Oh God…” I braced my hands on his shoulders, practically panting as I tried to get more friction.

“You want me to take you there, don’t you?”

“Yes.” I bit my lip as I fisted his expensive blazer. “Now.”

“Not yet.” He slowed my roll, forcing me to look him in the eye. “Not until you tell me why you have this interest in Nate.”

“Nate?” It took me a minute to refocus. “I like him.”

Tightening his grip, he said, “Not what I want to hear. Try again.”

I pressed my breasts against his hard chest as I traced the shell of his ear with my tongue. “What’s wrong, baby? Are you afraid we steamed up the windows of his big ol’ car tonight?”

He rolled my hair around his fist. “Do not toy with me.”

“Are you wondering if I let him do to me what you did earlier?”

He pulled my hair so hard I wanted to whimper, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Instead I smiled though the pain.

“I didn’t. But I did let him—”

He forced his mouth onto mine, consuming me. The kiss was fierce and angry, with his hand still wound in my hair while the other pinched my nipple. He wouldn’t let me break the connection or even breathe as he devoured me.

“Do you want me to take you right here and now to prove to you that you’re mine? Is that what you need?” he asked.

Yes! But not to prove a point. His possessiveness had turned me into a throbbing, quivering, wet mess.

“Yes.”

“Like hell,” he growled. “I’ve waited too long for this. You’re not going to break me, to goad me into doing you like an animal just because you throw some other man’s name in my face.”

Thinking of how I would have felt if our situations had been reversed, I felt a twinge of guilt. “I’m sorry.” I cupped his gorgeous face and kissed his lips tenderly. “I shouldn’t have teased you about Nate. The truth is I think he’s a nice guy. He could use a break.”

“A break?” The corner of his mouth pulled up into a half-smile. “I’ll consider giving him a break if you promise to keep your distance from him.”

“No can do.” I opened his shirt, licking my lips when I saw the dusting of dark hair covering all that dark skin and solid muscle.

“Why are you so damn obstinate?” He sucked in a breath when I flicked my tongue over his flat nipple.

“You like that I’m strong-willed.”

“I like that you’re mine.” He smiled when my head snapped back to meet his eyes. “You are mine. Finally. It feels like I’ve waited forever for you.”

I couldn’t even breathe when he looked at me like that. For a moment, I was transfixed. A billionaire, whose family made the list of the world’s wealthiest, was looking at me as though I were some priceless treasure and he couldn’t believe his good fortune in finding me. Things like that didn’t happen to girls like me from middle-class, God-fearing, churchgoing families who insisted money was the root of all evil and sex was for procreation only.

“It seems you want to say something,” he said, stroking my face reverently. “You can tell me anything.”

“You make me feel special. No one has ever looked at me the way you do.”

“And no one will have treated you the way I intend to. I will worship you, theia. That is what you deserve.”

“Tell me what that means,” I whispered, resting my hands on either side of his face. “Please.”

“Goddess. You are my goddess.”

The way he said it with such sincerity made me believe he meant it. I only hoped I could live up to his expectations.

“It is rare to meet a person who can change the course of your life, sweetheart. I can change yours. You can have the kind of life most only dream about. I ask only one thing in return.”

“What’s that?” I found it difficult to get out the words. I knew whatever he wanted, it would be more than I’d ever given before or even thought I was capable of.

“Your love and complete devotion.”

I let those words sink in. He wasn’t talking about the way I’d loved Drew. He was referring to the all-consuming, can’t-survive-without-it love I’d read about in books—the kind of love people killed for or because of.

“I know I’m asking a lot. But I fell for you the first time I saw your image on my computer screen.” He smiled as though he was recalling a fond memory. “They’d sent me a PDF of the mock-up for the spring catalogue to get my final approval before it went to print. I was scrolling through the pages, concentrating on the line and not the models, until I stumbled upon your picture.”

I listened, trying to imagine Deacon sitting behind the huge walnut desk in his executive office.

“You were wearing a black lace one-piece.” His hands skimmed my breasts as he said, “You were spilling out of it. Your body looked flawless, toned and tanned, but that wasn’t what drew me in.” He ran his fingertip over my lips. “These gorgeous full lips, I imagined kissing them.” To punctuate his point, he drew me in for a soft kiss. “These stunning eyes.” He grazed my eyelids with his fingertips. “They reminded me of my first home in the Mediterranean, that impossible combination of blue-green that always reminds me of the sea I love.”

No one had ever described me that way. Guys said I was hot, that I had a rockin’ bod, that they wanted to bang me, but no man had ever explained to me why he thought I was beautiful or why I’d captivated him.

“Your hair,” he said, running his fingers through my tresses. “I knew it was natural.” He chuckled lightly. “A natural blond is a rarity in this business. I imagined your hair spread out on my pillow when I rolled over to wake you. In my fantasy, you looked like an angel, a goddess. That is why I call you theia. My goddess.”

Wow. I couldn’t find the words to express what his portrayal meant to me, so I stared at him, hoping he could read in my eyes what an incredible gift he’d given me. His words had impressed me more than all of the expensive gifts he’d given me because they did the impossible: erased my doubt.

“Deacon, I…” I was almost afraid to say it, but the adoration in his eyes gave me the courage I needed. “It may sound crazy, but I think I’m falling in love with you.”

He rewarded me with a slight smile before closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. “I always hoped you would say that to me one day, but nothing could have prepared me for this feeling.” He laid my hand on his chest, over his heart. It was beating hard and fast, as though he’d exerted himself. “The heart does not lie. It always tells the story of how we are feeling. Whether we are scared, excited…” He grinned, a rare full-on smile that left me breathless. “You can tell by how fast my heart is beating that your words have excited me. I am excited about us, theia. More excited than I have been about anything in a long, long time.”

“I’m sorry about the way I acted earlier.”

This man had been nothing but wonderful to me, giving me incredible opportunities to make my dreams come true and protecting me without my knowledge because he cared. I’d repaid him by being cynical and calling him out on every indiscretion. I was ashamed and disappointed in myself.

“I was just… jealous and hurt. These things happened before we even met. I have no right to judge you.”

His eyes fell to the hand covering his chest, giving me an uneasy feeling. He wouldn’t look me in the eye anymore. Why?

“I don’t want you to feel jealous or insecure. You have no reason to. My heart belongs to you.” His words reassured me, but his tone was guarded.

“You can tell me anything,” I said, repeating his earlier words. “I’ll try not to judge you.”

He gathered my hands and kissed them. “People will say things about me, things that will make you question how I feel about you and whether I am trustworthy. You will read things, perhaps even see things. I have not been a saint—far from it. We will face many challenges because of the man I was before you came into my life.”

“What are you talking about?” My heart beat wildly. It sounded as though he was issuing a warning.

“I’ve said enough for now.” He looked into my eyes. “I just have to ask you to trust me.” He pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me. “From this day forward, I will not do anything to intentionally hurt you. That I can promise you.”

Before I could ask him to explain, Eleni came in. She took one look at our intimate position and asked, “Did I come back too soon? Do you need a few more minutes to… talk?”

Deacon smirked before smacking my behind soundly. “No, we are done. For now.” He moved me aside and stood, catching the keys Eleni tossed to him. Turning back to me, he drew a line under my chin with his finger. “Call me tomorrow.”

“I will.” I watched him leave, torn between elation and confusion. I instinctively knew that beautiful, complicated man would always make me experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

Chapter Eight

Deacon

I was sitting at my desk the next day when a timid knock on the door drew me from my work. “Come in.” I looked up to see Nate in the doorway, his hands folded in front of him like a school boy dreading his impending punishment.

“You wanted to see me, Mr. Starkis?”

“Yes, sit down.” I gestured toward the chair across from me, waiting for him to comply. “I understand you met my girlfriend last night.” It felt good to finally be able to claim her as mine.

“Yes, sir.” He nodded. “She’s a lovely girl.” He cleared his throat when I glowered at his description of Mia. “I mean, she’s a very nice person.”

“You had a nice chat,” I said, steepling my fingers beneath my chin.

“Um, yes.” He swallowed. “It was kind of unexpected. She just got in the car and introduced herself.”

“I know. She told me.” I watched him closely. “You are attracted to her, yes?” I couldn’t blame him. Any heterosexual male would be attracted to Mia. My dilemma reminded me of the old song about how hard it was to be in love with a beautiful woman.

“Sir, I would never—”

“I didn’t ask you if you would ever act on your impulses. I merely asked you if you were attracted to her.” I could tell he was shocked by my question, but in my experience, people were most likely to tell the truth when caught off guard.

His cheeks burned beneath his fading summer tan. He dipped his head, looking at his laced hands. “Um, I don’t know what you want me to say. If I tell you the truth, it will cost me my job, but… yes, I’m attracted to her. With all due respect, how could I not be?”

My hands curled into fists as I remembered my promise to Mia. I wanted to fire him, but I knew my new girlfriend would remind me relationships were all about compromise. I had to respect her feelings. “Go down to the personnel office on the main floor. They’ll give you your new assignment.”

“You’re not firing me?” His head snapped up.

“No, but if I ever see or hear of you speaking to her again, you’ll be gone. Understood?”

“Yes, Mr. Starkis. Thank you.”

He extended his hand, but I ignored it.

Blake crossed paths with Nate as he left. “A little early to be scaring the shit out of people, isn’t it, Deacon?” He collapsed into the chair Nate had vacated.

“What do you want?” I was still fuming over Nate’s admission and in no mood to chat with my best friend. “I have work to do.”

“You didn’t tell me your little sister was back in town.”

That got my attention. My younger sister, Tiana, had recently returned from studying abroad and was living with my parents until she decided what the next phase of her life would bring. As an heiress, she would never have to work a day in her life, but she was strong-willed and determined, much to my parents’ chagrin. She wasn’t the dutiful daughter my parents wanted, but they adored her nonetheless. We all did. She was the baby of the family, our little princess. The fact that my best friend, who played around almost as much as I had, was asking about her made me nervous.

“How do you know that?”

“I saw her at a fundraiser last night.” He slipped his iPhone out of his pocket when it buzzed and smiled when he read the message. “She looked hotter than hell.”

“You stay away from my sister, or I’ll kill you with my bare hands.” It wasn’t an idle threat.

We’d mixed it up several times over the course of our friendship. We were both hotheads. Blake was a Texan whose family had hit it big in oil generations ago, and while he could easily have lived off their wealth, he’d chosen to make his own mark on the world. I admired that about him, but the fact that he didn’t need to work made him a lousy employee. Owning a percentage of Alabaster’s meant he didn’t have to take direction either, which he loved to remind me.

When I’d started the company, I wanted to do it without my family’s help, so I’d turned to private investors. I’d since bought back their shares at a premium, but Blake was the only investor who’d refused to part with his interest in the company—no doubt because he knew having a partner made me crazy.

“Don’t know if you noticed, but your sister’s all grown up. She can make her own decisions about who she spends time with.”

“I really don’t need this today,” I said, whipping my pen at him.

He laughed as he caught it against his chest. “What’s got you so wound up?”

“This thing with Mia.”

“Fill me in. What’s going on with my favorite model?” Blake loved to give me a hard time about Mia. He knew I was crazy about her and routinely used my obsession to distract me in arguments.

“We’re getting closer. She finally kicked out that loser.”

“That should make you happy. You’re moving in for the kill. So what’s the problem?” Blake had known me since our Harvard days and had seen me use too many women. He didn’t believe I was serious about Mia.

I would take pleasure in proving how wrong he was. “You know that guy who was leaving when you came in?” I inclined my head toward the closed door.

“Yeah, what about him?”

“He’s the guy I hired to watch Mia’s back.”

“Because the security guard told you he thought someone was out to get her?” Blake rolled his eyes. “I still think that was a little over the top.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion.” I cracked my knuckles, which according to my mother, was a classless thing to do.

“Get on with the story.” He yawned. “You’re putting me to sleep.”

I was used to his wise-ass remarks, so it was easy to ignore them. “Mia hopped in his car last night and got a little too friendly with him.”

“She screwed him?” Blake looked stunned.

I glared at him. “Shut the hell up! Of course not! They just talked.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“He just admitted that he was attracted to her.” I still wanted to hit something.

Blake laughed. “What’s the big deal? I’m attracted to her too. Remember that movie, Indecent Proposal? I would so pay a million bucks to tap that sweet as—”

“Get out of here before I knock your perfect teeth out.”

Blake laughed as he got to his feet. “Man, if you wanna hook up with a girl who looks like that, you’d better get used to men hitting on her, like, all the time.” His hand landed on the doorknob before he turned to look at me. “Could be she’ll eventually meet someone who could lure her away from you. You know—a nice, honest, hard-working guy who hasn’t banged half the hot women in the city.”

I felt my gut twist painfully because I knew my friend was right. Mia wasn’t impressed by money or power, so if she found someone without my seedy background who intrigued her, I’d be history.

“I’m sorry. Did you think I was kidding about knocking your teeth out?”

I heard Blake’s laughter echoing all the way down the hall way as I texted Mia. I need to see you now.

I’m just finishing up downstairs. Had a fitting. What’s up?

Come up to my office. Now.

Bossy, aren’t you?

Now, Mia!

Fine. I’ll be right up.

I threw my phone on my desk before scrubbing my hands over my face. My goddess would be the death of me. Between trying to fend off her would-be suitors and convince her I wasn’t the sleazy dirtbag her friends would undoubtedly try to convince her I was, I didn’t think I’d find a moment’s peace.

I heard her chatting with my receptionist a few minutes later. I walked to the door, grabbed her hand, and ushered her inside before instructing Bernice to take a break.

Mia wrapped her arms around my neck. “Hey, what is it, baby? You look like you’ve been to hell and back.”

“It feels that way,” I muttered, lifting her off her feet so I could bury my face in her neck. God, I love you so much, theia. She knew my feelings for her were growing, but I didn’t want to scare her away. “Hmm, I needed this, sweetheart. Thanks.”

She smiled, kissing me quickly as soon as I set her down. “My pleasure. I missed you. So are you going to tell me what’s got you so worked up?” She made her way to my desk and relaxed into my enormous tufted leather swivel chair, which swallowed her up.

I rounded the desk and tugged on her hand, pulling her to her feet before I sat and settled her into my lap. “I saw Nate earlier.” Better to get this over with.

She picked up a framed family photo and brought it closer so she could study it. “How did that go?”

“Not well.” I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her back against my chest. “He admitted he was attracted to you.”

“He did?” She seemed surprised.

“Yeah.” I kissed her neck to distract her from a fact I hoped she wouldn’t contemplate too long. “You make guys crazy, and now I’m the one who has to worry about it.”

I kissed a path up her neck to nibble on her ear.

Her hands traveled to the front of her fitted blouse, popping one button after another until she’d revealed a lacy white bra. Releasing the front closure, she moved my hands to her breasts. “Do you ever get off thinking about me?”

“I have too much restraint to settle for less than the real thing,” I whispered, rolling her nipples between my thumbs and forefingers.

“I have a surprise for you.” She turned her head so my mouth met her cheek.

“What’s that?”

“I’d rather show than tell.” She guided my hand down her stomach and beneath the flared black skirt that ended a few inches below her sexy round ass.

“No panties? Are you serious?” I slid my finger between her folds. I realized she was soaking wet already as I pumped my finger in and out of her tight channel. “Don’t tell me you left the house like this.”

Spreading her legs wider, she shook her head. “No, I got rid of them after you texted me. I wanted to make it easy for you to… do this.” She clenched my free wrist as I used the other hand to tease her with tight circles that stalled her breathing. “Oh God, Deacon, that feels amazing.” She lifted her hand to her mouth, biting her index finger.

“What the hell are you doing?” I picked up the pace.

“I don’t want anyone to hear me scream,” she said, panting.

“You think I care if anyone hears me pleasuring you? This is my company, my building, and you’re my girlfriend. Now take your hand out of your mouth and scream for me.”

She caressed her breasts as I alternated between patting and stroking her.

“Now.”

“Yessss…” Surrendering to her release, she moaned deeply, gripping the armrests as her whole body trembled.

I continued pleasuring her until I was satisfied she was spent.

“Deacon, you have to let me have you.”

“Saturday night, after the party. You’ll come back to my place, and we’ll spend the rest of the weekend in bed.”

“Hmmm, I can’t wait,” she said, closing her eyes as fatigue took over.

“Believe me, neither can I,” I muttered, shifting to relieve the intense pressure behind my zipper.

Chapter Nine

Mia

I was beyond excited to see my big brother, but I was also nervous about how he would take the news that I was now living alone in the Big Apple. He was overprotective, like my parents, who still didn’t know about the breakup.

“So tell me what’s new with you,” Chad said, slicing into his steak. “Why didn’t Drew come with you?”

I popped a bite of salad into my mouth, choosing my words carefully. “We broke up. He moved out a couple of days ago.”

His jaw dropped as he shook his head. “I must be hearing things ‘cause I could have sworn you just told me you broke up with Drew.”

“I did.”

“Honey, I didn’t even know you guys were having problems. What the hell happened?”

My brother’s unwavering support and concern made my eyes fill with tears. I wasn’t crying for Drew. I was crying because I missed moments like these with my family.

“You know he decided to go back to school, right?” I sniffled as I discreetly brought the linen napkin to my eyes to dab my tears.

“Yeah, you weren’t too thrilled about it.”

“Only because I didn’t think we could afford it. It was tough to make it on only my salary, especially with the added pressure of his tuition.”

“You thought he should go back to school part-time and get a job to help out,” Chad said around a forkful of mashed potatoes. “Makes perfect sense.”

“Yeah, well, not to him.” I sighed, thinking about the argument that had ensued when he insisted I was jealous he was getting an education while I sold my body to the highest bidder. God, what an ass. “Long story short, I got tired of his shit and told him to pack his stuff and get out.”

Chad grinned. “Good for you. I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, I—”

“Good evening, theia. This is a pleasant surprise.”

I looked up to see Deacon standing over us. A surprise? Like hell. My psycho freak had probably hired another bodyguard to take Nate’s place and track my whereabouts.

“What are you doing here, Mr. Starkis?” I smiled sweetly, but he wouldn’t win this round. He wanted me to introduce him as my boyfriend even though I’d told him I wasn’t ready.

He lifted an eyebrow and set his hand on my shoulder. “I was just having dinner with my partner.” He motioned toward Blake, who raised his glass in greeting.

I didn’t know Deacon’s minority partner well, but from what I’d heard, he and my soon-to-be lover were cut from the same cloth.

“How nice.” I gestured toward my brother. “I’d like you to meet my brother, Sergeant Chad Barnes.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sergeant,” Deacon said, shaking Chad’s hand. “Deacon Starkis, your sister’s boyfriend.”

I opened and closed my mouth multiple times before I realized I must look like a baby bird.

My brother shot me a quizzical look. “Your boyfriend? When did this happen, sis? You told me Drew just moved out a couple days ago.”

“He did.” I glared at Deacon. I was going to kill him when I got him alone. “Deacon and I have known each other a while. He’s my boss.”

“Your boss?” Chad gave Deacon a quick once-over, taking in his impeccably cut gray suit, designer tie, and imported shoes. “Your boss at Alabaster’s?”

I nodded as I reached for my wine. I wished my brother had the good sense to table the third degree until Deacon left.

“That sounds like a recipe for disaster,” Chad said, bringing his beer glass to his lips. “Couldn’t you get fired for that? Surely the company has some sort of policy against employee fraternization.”

I squirmed when I saw Deacon grin. He was having way too much fun with this.

“Your sister’s job is safe, Sergeant. You see, I’m the one who sets the policies, and I’m more than willing to make an exception for her.”

I glared at him, hoping to remind him I wasn’t the first employee he’d dated.

“You set the policies. Does that mean you’re—”

“I own the company,” Deacon said smoothly.

“Oh God.” Chad ran a hand over the stubble covering his jaw. “Sorry, I had no idea. I have to admit I’m not really up on that… market. I knew the owner of the company was some Greek billionaire, but—”

I raised my hand. “Chad, just stop. Deacon doesn’t need an explanation. If you’ll excuse us”—I narrowed my eyes at my so-called boyfriend—“my brother and I would like to finish our dinner. I’ll call you later.”

“Of course.” He bent to kiss my cheek. “There will be a car waiting for you at the curb when you are ready to leave.”

“I’d planned to share a taxi with Chad,” I said through clenched teeth. I didn’t know if I could get used to his constant interference in every aspect of my life.

“Now you can share a limo.” Deacon offered Chad his hand again. “It was a pleasure, Chad. I hope you’ll be my dinner guest the next time you’re in town. Perhaps we can include your parents as well.”

“I’d like that.” Chad grinned. “Listen, can you do me a favor, man to man, since you’re the guy calling the shots?”

“What’s that?” Deacon looked amused as he crossed his arms.

“There’s nothing worse than all the guys in your platoon drooling over pics of your baby sister in lingerie. Can you put her in a parka or something instead?”

Deacon threw his head back, laughing. “That’s the easiest promise I’ve ever been asked to make. Consider it done.”

“Excuse me?” I asked, dumbfounded. I looked from Chad to Deacon and back again. “You can’t be serious! I love modeling lingerie and swimsuits. You can’t dictate what I wear!”

Chad pretended to be confused. “Sorry, sis. I could have sworn you said this guy owns the company you work for. I’d say that gives him the right.”

“But, but…” I sputtered, my eyes pleading with Deacon to drop this stupid façade and let my brother know he was just joking. “This is my career.”

“Of course it is, theia.” Deacon indulgently cupped my cheek. “And thanks to Alabaster’s, you’re well on your way. You’re welcome.” He grinned. “I’ll talk to you later, my beauty.”

“Wow,” Chad said when Deacon walked away. “So that’s what a billionaire looks like, huh?”

I downed the rest of my wine. “Don’t be too impressed. He may be rich, but he’s also a colossal ass sometimes.”

“An ass who’s obviously into you. How did it happen?”

“How did what happen?” I reached for the wine bottle in the center of the table when the lax waiter who was supposed to be looking after us didn’t rush to refill my glass.

“How did you guys hook up?”

I sat back. The rest of my dinner didn’t look as appealing as it had before Deacon graced us with his presence. “He emailed me when he spotted me in his magazine mock-up. That was a few months ago. Emails led to texts, and then we finally met.” I contemplated our unusual courtship. “It’s weird. I used to laugh at those people who fell in love online without even meeting, but I kind of get it now. Deacon and I developed this intense connection long before we ever met.”

“Is he the real reason you broke up with Drew?”

“He may have been part of it. I can’t deny I was developing feelings for Deacon while my feelings for Drew were dying. I’m scared though.” I was surprised to hear myself admit that. The wine must have been loosening my lips. “He’s got a history with women.”

“You’re surprised?” He chuckled. “Look at the guy, Mia. I’m a guy, and I can see that he’s a frickin’ Greek god. Add to that the billions in the bank, and I’d consider doing him myself.”

I laughed, mainly because my brother was the most heterosexual guy I knew. “Be serious. He’s the kind of man who could seriously mess a girl up.” I pressed my wine glass against my mouth so my big brother couldn’t see my bottom lip tremble. “I’m afraid he’ll break my heart.”

“If he does, I’ll break that perfect Grecian nose of his.” Chad leaned over to grasp my hand. “Would that make you feel better?”

I nodded, laughing through my tears. “Yes, thank you.”

***

Two hours later, after we’d dropped Chad off at his hotel, I lowered the privacy glass so I could get to know my new bodyguard/driver. He looked to be about fifty, and he had a shaved head and a scary-looking tattoo that wrapped around his neck and covered part of his cheek. Well played, Starkis. Well played.

“Have you worked for Deacon long?” I asked.

“For his family, yes, ma’am. I am his younger brother’s personal bodyguard, but since Damon is in Europe, he doesn’t need my services.”

I was surprised by the sound of his voice. It was much less gruff than I’d expected. “Then you know where Deacon lives?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Kindly take me to his house.”

“I should check with him first.”

I released my seat belt and leaned forward, propping my chin on the seat while I snaked my hand through the window to grip his shoulder. “I kind of want it to be a surprise.” I injected just the right amount of sultriness into my voice. “I know your boss would be pleased to see me.”

He smiled at me in the rearview mirror. “I have no doubt he would be. Okay, you win, but if he comes down on me, I’m shifting the blame to you.”

“It’s a deal,” I said, winking.

“Now put your seat belt back on. If anything happens to my precious cargo, he’ll have my ass.”

I did as I was told, my whole body warming at the thought of the lengths Deacon had gone to to take care of me. Sometimes the man irritated me to no end, but there were also times when he made me wonder how I’d gotten lucky enough to find him.

I settled in for the ten-minute ride to his home. It was impossible to appreciate my surroundings in the dark, but I could tell by the outlines of the expansive homes and properties that we’d ventured into sacred territory. The land alone in that neighborhood probably cost more than most people earned in a lifetime.

At the entrance to Deacon’s winding drive was a security guard posted at a gatehouse. Wow, paranoid much, my freaky psycho? My driver, whose name was Barry, explained to the security guard that I was Deacon’s girlfriend and I was there to surprise him. The uniformed man looked skeptical, which led me to believe Deacon didn’t invite many of his conquests into his private domain. Sacred territory, indeed.

“I should call up just to be sure,” he said, scratching his head as he peered into the backseat through the open driver’s window.

“Sir, I know you don’t want to lose your job, but I promise if Deacon is upset, I’ll tell him it was all my fault.”

Barry said to the other man, “I’ve worked for the Starkis family for a long time, and when Mr. Starkis asked me to take this assignment, he made it clear this young lady is very special to him. I have no doubt your job would be at risk if you made the mistake of sending her away, Jack.”

“Okay, okay.” The man reached into the gatehouse to press the button that would open the gate. “But this is against my better judgment.”

“Thanks for coming through for me, Barry,” I said as he pulled through the gate.

“I was just telling the truth, ma’am.”

I giggled. “You’re happily married, aren’t you?”

“With two beautiful children and a grandbaby on the way. Why do you ask?”

“Because my sexy psycho got jealous of my last bodyguard and reassigned him.” Oops… maybe I shouldn’t have polished off that entire bottle of wine.

Barry chuckled, his twinkling brown eyes meeting mine in the rearview mirror. “Is that so? I won’t tell Mr. Starkis you called him a psycho. It’ll be our little secret.”

I shrugged. “It’s okay. I call him that to his face all the time.”

“You do?” His chuckle deepened. “You and I will get along just fine, Miss Barnes. Don’t tell Mr. Starkis I said this, but I’ve been waiting for him to meet a woman who’ll put him in his place, and I think he’s finally found the one.”

The one. I liked the sound of that.

I gaped at the two-story stone-and-stucco monstrosity in front of me. It had to be twenty thousand square feet, and even with only the security lights illuminating it, I could tell the manicured grounds were equally impressive. “Are you freakin’ kidding me? One person needs this much space? It looks like he could house a small country here!”

Barry’s booming laughter filled the car. “This is where he feels comfortable. He grew up living in the lap of luxury. This is all he knows.”

I felt intimidated, as though I were stepping into a world where I didn’t know how to speak the language. Downplaying his wealth was easy when we were at the office, on my turf, or on neutral ground, but just a glimpse into his world showed me how different we were.

“Are you having second thoughts about this?” Barry asked.

I wasn’t going to let his wealth intimidate me, I decided, squaring my shoulders. Deacon knew who I was and wasn’t asking me to pretend to be anyone else. If I truly loved him, I would find a way to be myself in his world.

“No, let’s do this.”

I waited for Barry to round the car to collect me before I walked up to the massive, richly stained oak doors. I had another moment’s hesitation when I tried to decide whether or not I should ring the doorbell. Of course, that would have spoiled the surprise. Maybe I could catch him in bed… with his guard down.

With a deep breath, I twisted the knob and was shocked to find the door unlocked. I guessed having an armed security guard meant he didn’t have to bother locking his doors. I gave Barry the thumbs-up and said a silent prayer as he drove away.

After slipping out of my high heels, I curled my feet into the Persian entrance rug. The house was dark, but I couldn’t turn on a light without alerting him to my presence. I prayed he had a good ticker ‘cause I just might give him a heart attack.

I looked right and left as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. There was a hallway in each direction, but when I heard a masculine voice, I froze. At first, I thought he was talking on the phone. Then I heard her voice. I clutched my stomach. Oh, God. He wasn’t alone. What had I been thinking coming here uninvited? More importantly, how could I have been stupid enough to believe his lies? Great, I was stuck in the middle of nowhere without a ride and…

“Oh God, Selene, that feels amazing. Deeper. Oh yeah, just like that. Ohhh, you have no idea how much I needed this tonight.”

That son of a bitch! I tiptoed to the closed door, holding my breath as I fought back tears. I’d trusted him. In spite of my fears, I’d let my guard down and started to trust him, and this was how he repaid me? I fought back nausea as I thought of all the things he’d said to me—love, trust, devotion… what a crock!

“Hmmm, I love when you do that.”

His words, paired with the knowledge that he was experiencing so much pleasure with another woman, crushed me. Not only had I been learning to trust him, I’d fallen deeply, irrevocably in love with him. How stupid could I have been?

“Just relax, Deacon,” she purred. “I know what you need.”

I couldn’t take any more. I threw the door open, ready to let him have it.

He scrambled to sit up, clutching the towel around his waist. “What the…?”

I took in the scene. He’d been stretched out on a massage table, and the woman standing above him was wearing a white uniform. Oh, no. I’d interrupted his massage. At least I hadn’t stormed into the room and made a bigger fool of myself by hurling wild accusations at him.

“Mia, what are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry,” I said, backing out of the room. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. I wanted to surprise you. I should have called first or—”

“Wait!” He clutched his towel as he held up his free hand. “You’re not going anywhere.” He gestured toward the woman standing demurely at his side. “Selene, this is my girlfriend, Mia Barnes. Mia, this is Selene, my massage therapist.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” I said, offering my hand to the petite woman with her hair pulled into a tight bun. She was a bit older than me, probably closer to Deacon’s age, but she looked younger without the makeup my friends and I favored.

“Mr. Starkis was right,” she said, bowing her head slightly. “You are very beautiful, miss.”

“Thank you.” I smiled, trying to act as though barging into my boyfriend’s home uninvited in the middle of the night wasn’t odd behavior. “I’m sorry I interrupted your…” I waved, looking for the right word. “Work.”

“It is okay.” She moved about quickly, collecting her belongings. “Now that you are here, I suspect Mr. Starkis will find other ways to relieve his stress.”

She and Deacon exchanged an amused glance. I wondered what kind of relationship they had if she felt comfortable enough to make inappropriate comments in front of his guests.

“Will you be needing me in the morning?” she asked.

Deacon stole a quick glance at me, obviously trying to gauge my mood. “Let’s play that by ear.”

“Very well.” She smiled sweetly at me, whispered something to Deacon in their native tongue, and inched past him.

I didn’t know why the fact that they were both Greek added to my discomfort—perhaps because I had the uneasy feeling their relationship was, or had been, more than professional.

Deacon ran a hand over his messy hair. “Well, this is a nice surprise, beautiful. Just let me grab a robe, and we can get comfortable.”

I could tell he felt uncharacteristically awkward, prompting me to ask the question at the forefront of my mind. “Have you had sex with that woman?”

His mouth opened and snapped shut before he walked into an adjoining room—a sauna—to slip into a white robe.

The fact that he hadn’t answered told me he was hoping I’d let it go. Not a chance.

“Well? Have you slept with her?”

He cleared his throat before reaching for an iPod in a docking station and pocketing it. “Slept together? No.”

He was trying to get off on a technicality, but I wouldn’t let him.

“But you have screwed around with her?” I was tired of playing games with him, having to work so hard to extract the truth.

“She is paid to help relieve my stress.”

“What the hell does that mean?” I demanded, rounding the massage table. We stood toe to toe, though his decided height advantage made me feel as though he was the one with the upper hand despite my justifiable outrage. “What else does she do for you?”

He closed his eyes, tipping his head back as though he was annoyed I was undoing all of Selene’s hard work. “Selene’s family has worked for mine for a long time. Her mother is my housekeeper, her father my groundskeeper. They live in a guest house on the property.”

“You’re doing a great job avoiding the real question here.” I was even more insulted that she shared his home, in a manner of speaking, but we would get to that in due time. First, I needed him to spell out the nature of his relationship with the woman.

“I am just trying to explain the situation to you, theia,” he said, gripping my upper arms.

I scowled at his hands curling around my arms. “Take your hands off me until I decide whether you have the right to touch me again.”

His eyes flashed with anger before his fingers bit into my flesh. He begrudgingly released me just when I thought he would override my demand to make a point. “I have known Selene since we were children. She knows me better than most—my idiosyncrasies, my faults…”

It hurt that that woman, who was still very much a part of his life, knew my man better than I did, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d hurt me. I still had my pride. Sort of.

“I guess you could say she’s had something of a crush on me for years,” he said.

Well, duh. How could any woman rub down his naked body for years without falling in love? The opportunity to do just that was probably the reason for her choice of vocation. “She told you this?”

“Yes, when we were young.” He braced a fist on the massage table, looking as though he resented being forced to take an unwanted trip down memory lane. “I was home from Harvard for the summer. We went for a swim in the lake at my summer home, and she kissed me. It was then she told me how she felt about me, why she’d never had a boyfriend.” He shrugged. “According to her, I’m a big part of the reason she’s never married.”

I doubled over the table, trying to process everything he was telling me. Selene was in love with him and had been for years. She was a part of his family, she’d spent time with him at his parents’ vacation home, and if my instincts were correct, they’d been lovers.

“Sweetheart, please,” he said, rubbing my back, “don’t make too much of this. She understands we will never be more than friends.”

“But you have had sex with her?”

After a long pause, he said, “Yes. But she knows it will never—”

“When was the last time you had sex?”

His olive skin momentarily lost all trace of color. “I don’t see what difference that—”

“Just answer the question.” When he remained silent, I made my way to the door. “I’ll just find her. I’m sure she’ll be more forthcoming than you’ve been.”

“Three weeks ago.”

I gripped the doorknob as I wrestled with my feelings of betrayal. I knew I had no right to feel so hurt and disappointed. I had still been living with Drew at the time. Deacon had never actually met me, but the things he’d said in our texts and emails had led me to believe I was the only one, that he couldn’t stop thinking about me. Had that been a lie? Had he been lying all along, saying the things he felt he had to just to get me to break up with Drew so he could have me in his bed? It seemed so.

“I have to go.” Through a veil of unshed tears, I tried to find my way down the dark hallway. I heard his footsteps on the hardwood behind me. He wouldn’t make it that easy for me to leave, yet I prayed he’d give me the space I needed. “Coming here was a mistake. This whole thing was a mistake.”

“Don’t say that,” he said, closing his arms around me from behind. “Please don’t say that. I want you here, theia. I need you with me.”

I succumbed to the bitterness. “No, you need a soft body to keep you warm at night. It doesn’t matter who it is. The women in your life are interchangeable.”

“They have been… until you. You are the one I can’t live without.”

I closed my eyes when the tears threatened to spill down my cheeks. I wouldn’t let him see me cry again. He had too much power over me, and he knew it. He knew he could make me feel more deeply than I’d ever felt, hurt more than I ever had. “I don’t believe you.”

He gripped me tighter, burying his face in my neck. “You have to believe me. Please, theia. You have to.” It sounded like the plea of a desperate man, but he was good at manipulating people, getting them to bend to his will.

“Let me go.”

“I can’t. I won’t.” The steely edge was back in his voice. He’d made up his mind about the outcome of my visit. “Selene offered to pleasure me tonight. That’s when I told her about you.”

I whirled around, stunned and appalled that he’d shared that with me. Was he trying to hurt me? If so, he’d hit his mark.

Without thinking, I slapped him as hard as I could across the face, leaving the imprint of my hand on his bristled cheek. “You make me sick! God, I hate you!”

He slipped his arm around me, holding me firmly. Perhaps he was justifiably concerned I would try to flee. “I am trying to be honest with you. Even when it hurts.”

To his credit, he seemed unaffected by my slap, almost as though he’d expected and prepared for my reaction.

“How far did she get?”

“What?”

“You said she wanted to go down on you. What led up to that?” I didn’t know why I was torturing myself, but some perverse part of me wanted to hear the gory details. “Obviously, she didn’t just drop to her knees and—”

“It never got that far.” He looked annoyed by my insinuation, as if he had any right trying to take the moral high ground.

“Did you kiss her?”

“Kiss her?” He looked genuinely shocked. “No. I don’t kiss the women I have sex with.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Kissing to me is more intimate than having sex. I haven’t made love to you yet, but what we have shared is so much more intimate than anything I’ve shared with another woman.”

I closed my eyes, so wishing I could believe him. But the facts spoke for themselves. My man-whore was up to his old tricks, locked in a room late at night with a woman who would sacrifice herself to satisfy his needs. “I can’t trust you.” Speaking the truth cut like a knife, because I knew if I couldn’t trust him, I couldn’t have him in my life.

“Yes, you can.” The desperation was back in his voice. “I would never, ever betray you. You are everything I want, everything I need, theia. Please. I am begging you to believe that.”

I knew begging was new for him. He rarely even said please or thank you. He just expected people to do his bidding because of who he was and what he brought to the table, but I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my pride for any man.

“I can’t believe that.”

“Then let me prove it to you.” He moved in closer, backing me against the wall. “Let me show you with actions what I haven’t been able to with words. Let me show you how much I worship you.”

His words, coupled with his roaming hands, were intoxicating, almost a lethal combination, but I had to find the strength to resist. He was bad for me. He had the power to destroy me if I let him, and I would have only myself to blame because I’d entered into this with my eyes wide open, knowing who and what he was.

“Kiss me, theia.”

“No.” The word tore from my throat, laced with a sob. I wanted to kiss him more than I wanted to hate him, but I couldn’t surrender.

“Then let me kiss you.” He held my face as he pinned my body with his imposing physique.

“No. Please.” I turned my head, praying he would have mercy on me and not exploit my weakness for him.

“I have to.” He loosened the tie on his robe, exposing his hard, naked body and thick, jutting erection. “I have to have you. Letting you walk out of my life isn’t an option. Can’t you see that? Can’t you see what you do to me?”

The tears slid down my cheeks, and he obliterated them with his kisses—up and down my neck, over my cheeks, in the hollow of my throat, the seam between my lips. His tongue was everywhere, softening me, healing my hurts, and assuaging my fears. I knew it was only temporary, but I just needed the relief from the dull ache that permeated my body.

I pushed the robe off his shoulders, knowing it would be my biggest mistake. I had no prayer of resisting his chiselled body when it was so hard and tense with his unleashed hunger for me. This powerful man wanted me. Me. Maybe tomorrow he would want someone else, and that was reason enough to walk away now, but I couldn’t. His mouth held me prisoner, his words shackling me with the promise that maybe I was special, maybe I could fill the void in him that no one else could.

“Please don’t cry, my angel. Don’t cry. I hate that I hurt you. I hate myself for making you cry. I want to make you happy.”

The zipper running the length of my dress slid down before the thin fabric pooled at my feet. If I wanted to stop, now was the time, my last chance. But as he unhooked my bra and slid my thong over my hips, I knew it was too late. My body wanted it, even though my heart was begging me to protect it from the pain he could inflict.

“Let me make you happy, Mia. Anything in the world. Anything you want is yours.” He slipped a finger inside me, followed by another. “So wet for me, sweetheart. You want this. You want me.”

Another sob escaped me, and I realized how torn I was about letting this happen. My body was reacting to his touch while my brain was screaming at me to run before I lost myself to him.

“Sssh.” He riveted me with his thumb, drawing maddening circles against my tender flesh. “You know what you need. You need this. You need me.”

I did need him, and that was what scared me the most. All the years Drew and I had been together, I’d never needed him like this. I’d always known I would survive if he walked away. With Deacon, I wasn’t so sure.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you. Just let go. Give yourself to me. Let me take care of you.”

He was using his expertise to wear me down, to manipulate me. He played my body the way a skilled musician would a finely tuned instrument. My legs felt rubbery, as though they could barely support my weight, and I knew I would soon have no choice but to let him have his way with me and pray I wouldn’t regret it.

“Spread your legs wider,” he murmured. “Hmmm, that’s it.” He sucked my earlobe when I did as he asked. “Yes. I love how wet you are for me.” He dropped to his knees and spread my legs wider still as his tongue glided up and down my seam. “So sweet.”

With a single flick of his tongue, I was waving the white flag. “Please, Deacon, please…”

“Yes,” he whispered.

I thought my head would explode as all of my blood rushed to my extremities.

“That’s what I want—to hear you beg for it. I’ve been waiting so long to hear those sweet words fall from you lips.”

“Please. Yes…” I grinded myself against his mouth, my body moving like an exotic dancer’s as my hands glided over my breasts. I felt my orgasm closing in on me. “Oh God, yes...”

When he refused to relent and I couldn’t take any more, I decided to make him stop the only way I knew how. Lowering my body, I whispered, “It’s my turn. Please, baby.”

He growled as he gripped my arms and pulled me to my feet. “Not yet.”

A wave of anger came back as I remembered what he’d told me about Selene. “Did she take you in her hand like this?” I wrapped my hand around the base of his shaft.

He wove his hands into my hair, pulling hard enough to make my scalp sting. “Don’t talk to me about her.”

“Did it make you hard?” I asked. “Did you get excited thinking about her taking you?” The vision of poking a tiger with a big stick came to mind, but I banished it. I wanted to punish him the same way he’d punished me.

“Stop this!” He gripped my hair harder as I continued to work him over with my hand. “I only want to think about you!”

I released my need to hurt him and focused on pleasuring him the way he’d pleasured me. I listened for his reluctant groans and soft moans, the feral sounds he made in the back of his throat. I felt his gentle clasping of my hair and lazy circles on my scalp.

“I love you.” The words sounded almost tortured, as though he’d been trying to suppress them but couldn’t. “I. Need. You.” He gasped when his words incited me to increase my tempo. “I’ve never… needed… anyone.” He shuddered. “But… I… need… you.”

Knowing I had the ability to bring this powerful, ruthless man to his knees was a heady aphrodisiac. I was on a power trip, a sex-induced high, as I used my wiles to draw the words from him that I needed to hear to assuage my fears about us.

“Don’t… ever… leave… me.” He grabbed my wrist before I could finish him off. “Say it. Say you’ll never leave me. I need to hear you say it. Now.” He had a wild look in his eyes, as if he’d unleashed the beast within and had no desire to cage it for my safety.

“I’ll never leave you,” I whispered.

“No matter what you hear about me, no matter who tries to tear us apart, you’ll never leave me.”

A fresh wave of fear coursed through me as I realized he was giving me some insight into the challenges we would face. Selene was just the tip of the iceberg.

“Say it.” He shook me slightly. “Say you’ll never leave me.”

“I’ll never leave you,” I whispered, wondering if I could believe my own words. Without knowing what was to come, I had no idea how I would react, whether or not I could handle the truth about the dark and mysterious man I’d fallen in love with.

“Swear to me.” He could obviously sense my uncertainty.

Trying to make light of his insistence, I said, “Are you asking for a blood oath?”

“Yes.” He wasn’t kidding. Shit.

To distract him, I whispered, “Make love to me, Deacon. Please.”

He crushed his mouth to mine, demanding I acquiesce to his desire to possess me. When I did, he slowed, taking my mouth thoroughly. His kiss bordered on a reverent tenderness I’d never seen him display. By the time he was finished with me, I was gushing and moaning, on the verge of pleading yet again.

“Not here, theia,” he whispered, picking me up. “In my bedroom.”

“Wait.” I gripped the doorframe. “Not… in your bed.” I pictured my friends sharing that bed with him—Selene, and all the faceless women who’d come before me. It was silly, but I couldn’t get aroused in a place where he’d stimulated so many others.

A smile quirked his lips. “My beautiful Mia, hotels are for my conquests. My bedroom, my private sanctuary, is reserved for making love to the one woman I revere.”

“You haven’t…” After all the questions I’d asked him, all the vile things I’d accused him of, I didn’t know why I was embarrassed to ask him this. “Had other women here?”

“I keep a hotel room not far from my office,” he explained. “It is dangerous for a man in my position to invite random women into his home.”

“You didn’t invite me.” Shame colored my cheeks. “I invited myself. I’m sorry about that. I just…” Needed to see you. Wanted to read you the riot act about intruding on my dinner with my brother. After everything that had happened, that seemed almost insignificant now.

“My home is your home, Mia. You are always welcome here.”

I curled my face into his neck, breathing in his now-familiar scent and basking in his warmth. I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but tonight, I wanted to make beautiful memories with this complex man.

Chapter Ten

Deacon

I’d almost lost her. That was the one thing that kept reverberating through my mind as I laid Mia in the middle of my king-size bed. She’d almost walked out on me. I’d taken a step back tonight and almost given in to temptation, lured by the promise of hot and dirty sex—just the way I liked it. Then Mia had walked in, and my world bottomed out.

I’d seen her moving through my house, heading for the door, and I knew a fear I’d never known before. If she’d walked in even a few minutes later, if I’d had a few more shots with dinner, she would have seen Selene giving me pleasure while I moaned Mia’s name.

I was one sick bastard—one terrified, sick bastard—because I knew even one misstep would cost me the best thing that had ever happened to me. But this need had had me in its grip for so long that I was having a hard time breaking free. Even for the sake of the woman I was meant to be with.

“Deacon,” she whispered, beckoning me with her finger, “make love to me.”

I stared at her, my blond goddess. My stomach clenched with concern over the pain I could cause her, terror over the anguish I would feel when and if she left me, and panic that there was something inside me I couldn’t control. I felt a desire so strong, a hunger so deep, only one thing could satiate it.

“Yes.” I prayed that sinking inside her for the first time would mark a new beginning for me. I wanted it to end an unwanted chapter marked by meaningless sex and casual affairs. I was desperate to be the man she wanted me to be. “Are you on the pill, theia?”

“Yes.” She nodded.

I was scrupulous about being tested. With my sexual practices, even with the benefit of condoms, I couldn’t afford to be remiss. Being with Mia would mark the first time I’d ever taken a lover without a layer of latex between us, and I needed that. I needed it to be different with her.

“You will be safe with me,” I whispered, gliding my lips over her cheek as I braced my body above her. “You trust me?”

After a moment’s hesitation, she whispered, “Yes.”

I eased inside her slowly, careful not to thrust too hard or deep until she was ready to take all of me. Every inch was an excruciating blend of pleasure and pain. I was so close to something I’d wanted for so long, yet it was still just beyond my reach.

She moaned. “Mmmm… I love the way you feel.”

Her sweet voice was like a tranquilizer, relaxing me and getting to the root of my pain. When I was seated fully inside her, I pulled her close, unable to move or breathe as I reveled in the moment and the depth of our connection. This was how sex was supposed to feel, not fast and furious thrusting as a means to a climax. This bone-deep, soul-mating connection was what I’d sought my entire adult life.

“I love you, Deacon.”

I squeezed my eyes shut as I moved slowly inside her, kissing her neck, gliding in and out in a slow, steady rhythm. She loved me. She loved me. She loved me. It sounded like a mantra inside my head. They were the only words that mattered, the only words I would ever need to hear to bring me satisfaction.

“I love you too, Mia. More than you will ever know.”

“Harder,” she whispered, clutching my back. “Faster. Please. I need more.”

I leaned back, grabbing her wrists to pin her to the bed. Something snapped inside me. My woman needed something I wasn’t giving her, and it reminded me there were thousands, hundreds of thousands, of men who would line up to please her if I couldn’t.

“You want it hard?” I growled, forcing my shaft deep inside her and stretching her to capacity. “You want it fast? Just remember you asked for this. Grab the headboard and don’t let go until I tell you to.”

A look of trepidation mixed with excitement filled her eyes as she gripped the iron cut-outs in the walnut headboard. “Are you really as wild as they say you are?”

She was taunting me? She was about to understand the error of her ways because I intended to take her so hard she would think of me with every step she took tomorrow. “You’re about to find out.”

I gripped the headboard for leverage and rammed into her so deeply I was pretty sure the solid wood posts would leave a gaping hole in the drywall. I didn’t care. She wanted the animal to come out and play? She was about to find out just how wild I could get.

“Oh, oh, Deacon… oh… I’m there. I’m right there.”

I mercilessly rubbed that sensitive sweet spot with my fingertips long after her tremors had subsided while continuing the explosive onslaught like a man possessed. “Roll over on your stomach and grab the headboard again.”

“But—”

“Don’t ask questions! Just do it!”

She scrambled to meet my demands, thrusting her bottom into the air.

I grabbed her hips and resumed my maniacal thrusting before reaching around to find that tight bud again. “Again. Now.”

“Deacon… no… I… can’t…”

“Yes, you can.”

“I…”

“You want this, don’t you?” She was getting me even more turned on, and I knew that before long, she’d push me into a dark and dangerous place I wasn’t sure I wanted to take her.

“Yes, oh God, yes.” She came apart in my arms again.

Finding an easy rhythm that gave her pleasure while tilting her body to the perfect angle, I found that elusive spot that would prove to her no other man could make her feel the way I could.

“Oh, I can’t. Not again.” She sounded frantic. “Please, not yet.”

“Relax, sexy.” I kissed her neck, making her squirm while I reached a place inside her that made her scream out my name while her whole body tensed.

She was panting, her voice broken. “Oh my… oh… I…”

I loved hearing her mumble incoherently, totally out of control. It made me lose control.

“Yes! Now!” I filled her as she throbbed around me, crying out my name again.

Afterward, I rubbed her back before gathering her in my arms. “Release the headboard, theia.”

“Deacon, that was…” She released a shaky laugh. “Oh my God, I don’t even know how to describe that.”

“Good?” I rested her head on my chest. I’d ventured further than I’d intended. I’d wanted our first time together to be special, to show her how much she meant to me. Instead, I’d taken her like an animal, and guilt was seeping in.

She ran her hand over my chest. “Amazing.”

“I’m sorry if I…” I kissed the top of her head, struggling to find the words. I did not yet know how far she was willing to let me go, and while I wanted to eventually push her outside her comfort zone, I was afraid of crossing any lines too soon. “Crossed the line.”

“You didn’t.” She pressed her warm lips against my chest. “It was everything I wanted and more, so much more. I imagined what it would be like, being with you.” She glided a fingertip over the ridges in my abdomen, outlining my six-pack. “But I worried about being with someone like you. I didn’t know if I could handle it.”

Reining in the rougher, more dominant part of myself would be hard, but I would do almost anything for her. “And?”

“I want more.” She looked up at me, her big blue eyes glistening. “I don’t want you to feel you have to hold back with me. What you did to me, for me, it just made me hungry for more.”

My heart pounded hard, my blood rushing through my veins, and I contemplated the possibilities. Very little had been off-limits in my life of sexual promiscuity, but when she said she wanted more, I needed her to define exactly what that meant. I couldn’t risk screwing up.

“I liked the way you made me feel tonight. I liked watching you lose control.”

I prided myself on being in control, on not allowing my urges to overtake my common sense, but whether she realized it or not, Mia was the one in control.

“Why?”

“You’re so powerful,” she whispered. Her hand shifted lower, tracing circles on my lower abdomen. “So in control all the time. You instill fear in people because of who you are and what you possess. Your feelings for me, the way you treat me, the way you lose control when you’re with me, that makes me feel powerful.”

Kissing the top of her head, I tried to process the new facets of my personality she’d brought to the surface. I didn’t like them. I certainly wasn’t ready to embrace them, yet I couldn’t seem to suppress them. I’d been given a taste of the way sex could be with her, and I knew it was the start of a new chapter. Whether it would represent healing or a further descent into darkness, I wasn’t sure.

She tipped her head back to look at me. “What are you thinking about? You’re so quiet. That’s not like you.”

“I wanted Saturday night to be special,” I said, letting my mind wander into safer territory. “I wanted to bring you back here, give you the tour, enjoy a glass of champagne, soft music…” I kissed the tip of her nose, smiling. “Candles, flowers, everything you deserve.”

“About Saturday...are we… I mean… will we be there together?”

I frowned, tugging her hair gently until she was facing me again. “What are you talking about? Of course we will be there together. Why wouldn’t we be?”

“I just wasn’t sure if you were ready to go public with our relationship yet.”

“Mia, I love you. You’re mine. I want the world to know that.”

She snuggled into me with a soft smile. “Good to know.” She pinched my side, making me squirm before I grabbed her hand. “By the way, I’m still mad at you for crashing my dinner with my brother.”

“I won’t apologize for that,” I said, bringing her fingertips to my lips. “I told you I wanted the world to know you’re mine, starting with your family.”

She groaned. “I haven’t even told my parents I’ve broken up with Drew. How will I explain to them I’m dating my boss?”

I stroked her hair. “You’re going to tell them the truth—that you’ve met a man who worships you, would do anything in the world for you, and that he just happens to own the company that employs you.”

“My father will probably hate you, just so you know.”

My stomach clenched. Her parents’ opinion was important to her, so that could be a serious stumbling block. “Why would he hate me?”

“He’ll think you’re exploiting me, taking advantage of me, trying to corrupt me.” She laughed as though the idea was preposterous.

“Why would he think that?” I didn’t find any humor in the situation.

“Because you pay me to model women’s underwear, not to mention the fact you’re twelve years older than I am. He’ll think you lured me away from Drew to have your wicked way with me.” Her eyes gleamed with amusement. She could probably tell by the tense set of my jaw that I wasn’t amused because she smacked my chest. “Lighten up, baby. I’m a grown woman. I can date anyone I want.”

“Maybe, but would you marry a man your parents don’t approve of?” My grip on her tightened. I would never try to come between Mia and her family, but no one would keep me from her. Not even the people who’d brought her into the world.

“You’re getting ahead of yourself.” She licked her lips as she fluffed her pillow and inched away from me. “I’m not ready to think about anything serious. I’m young—”

“But I’m not.” I gripped her wrist when she tried to tuck her hand under her pillow. “As you so kindly pointed out, I’m thirty-five. I’m not getting any younger. In my culture, marriage and children are a given, even in this day and age. I don’t bend to my family’s will, but I want those things for myself. With you.”

She inched back farther on the bed until she was at risk of tumbling onto the floor. “I understand that, but we just started dating. Marriage takes time—months, years.”

“I don’t want to wait years to be with you,” I said, trying to inject a thread of calmness into my impatient tone. I didn’t want our conversation to spiral out of control, but she needed to understand where I stood, what my intentions were.

She gestured between our bodies. “We’re together now. Can’t that be enough?”

“I want you to join my family for dinner on Sunday.” I wasn’t acquiescing. In my mind, her meeting my family was one step closer to the commitment I wanted. “It’s a monthly ritual when we’re all in town. Please say you’ll come.”

A slow smile spread across her face. “I’d love to meet your family.”

One step closer—a mere million to go.

Chapter Eleven

Mia

Eleni shrieked when she opened her door and saw me, making me question my strapless-dress-and-sandal combo for the tenth time since I’d put it on. The black dress accentuated my full bust, hugged my curves like a second skin, and ended just a few inches below my butt, which played peek-a-boo if I bent over. Coupled with the four-inch strappy black sandals, it sent a clear message: I was looking to hook up. Which I wasn’t! At least not with any guy in the club we had selected for our wild night on the town. Now, if Deacon invited me over for a midnight romp in his hot tub, I’d seriously consider it.

“You think it’s too much?” I twirled a blond curl around my index finger. “I can change into something of yours.”

“Get your hot self in here,” Eleni said, tugging me inside. “You’re gonna have every guy in that place falling all over themselves to buy you a drink.”

“Please.” I rolled my eyes. “With you four around? I’ll fade into the background.” I knew we would all get our fair share of male attention tonight. Even though I wasn’t interested in hooking up, it might be fun to flirt. I hadn’t been out with the girls in a long time, and after the week I’d had, I was so ready to kick my heels up and have some fun.

“So tell me what’s been happening with you.” Eleni touched up her lipstick in the mirror.

“I had dinner with Chad last night.”

“How is he?” Eleni asked.

My best friend and brother had some serious sexual tension between them, and just thinking about them together made me kind of queasy. Eleni was a female version of Deacon. She was a serious player who loved to dominate her conquests, and I couldn’t picture my big brother as her… plaything. Eeewww.

“He’s good. He met Deacon,” I said.

Eleni looked at me in the mirror. “How’d that happen?”

“My sexy psycho just showed up at the restaurant where we were having dinner.”

“I’m guessing that wasn’t a coincidence?” she asked, smiling.

I rolled my eyes. “You know Deacon. What do you think?”

“Definitely not a coincidence.” She smacked her lips before turning to face me. “So how’d it go? Did he get the big-brother stamp of approval?”

“Yeah, Chad seemed to like him, but I was pissed he just showed up like that,” I said, fluffing my soft waves in front of the mirror. “So I went over to his place to let him have it.”

“And…?” Eleni rolled her hand. “Come on now, you can’t just leave a girl hanging.”

“Let’s just say he let me have it.” I tried to keep a straight face. “Numerous times. In numerous positions.”

“Shut. Up!” Eleni shoved my shoulder. “Tell me everything. Was he as good as they say he is? Did he rock your world?”

It still bothered me that so many of my friends and co-workers were able to weigh in on my boyfriend’s sexual prowess, but it was something I’d have to learn to live with. He couldn’t change his past any more than I could. Of course, I didn’t have anything nearly as scandalous in my past. Maybe Eleni was right. Maybe I did need to get out more.

“He was pretty amazing.” I pulled up my strapless dress when I noticed I was spilling out of the top. That was the only problem with strapless dresses—you spent half the night pulling them up and, after a few cocktails, giving all the boys a free show.

“I knew he would be,” Eleni said, reaching for her small designer handbag on the couch. “You can’t look like that and be a dud in bed. That would be so wrong.”

I laughed. “I guess you’re right. So we’re taking the limo tonight. Barry’s driving us. My man insisted.” I pulled a face, making her laugh. “He thinks I’m gonna get drunk and get abducted staggering home or something.”

She slipped her lipstick into her purse. “Knowing you, you just might. We all know you can’t hold your liquor.”

“Shut up,” I said, bumping her hip with mine as we walked out of her apartment. “Are we picking up the girls on the way, or are they meeting us there?”

“They’re meeting us there.” Eleni locked her door before she asked, “So this Barry guy, is he hot?”

I giggled. “He’s about fifty, married, with a grandkid on the way.”

“Damn.” She punched the button for the elevator. “Oh well, guess I’ll just have to keep my options open tonight.”

***

The club was crowded, making it nearly impossible for us to find our friends in the sea of sweaty bodies and groping hands. Perverts. We finally found them at a table near a bank of windows overlooking the dance floor. They were surrounded by guys, and the table in front of them was full of shot glasses, some full, some empty. And it was only ten o’clock. This would be a wild night.

“There they are!” Edie shrieked as she stumbled toward us.

I laughed as she hugged me so hard that we both nearly ended up on the floor. She’d already kicked her high heels off under the table, making me wonder how long they’d been there.

“Jesus,” a tall, handsome, dark-haired guy said, elbowing his friend as they gave Eleni and me a thorough once-over. “This just keeps getting better. I can’t believe our luck, meeting Alabaster’s models. Our buddies will never believe it.”

I tried to suppress my eye-roll but couldn’t. Guys thought dating a lingerie or swimsuit model was a badge of honor. I’d never met one who didn’t care whether she was a bitch who emasculated him as long as he could tell his friends he’d banged her. Sad but true. Which meant I’d watched my friends turn into serious man-eaters. Eleni claimed I was missing out on a great opportunity to get even with the opposite sex on behalf of women everywhere, but I didn’t get off on bringing others misery, no matter how much fun Eleni said it could be.

“My name’s Jamie,” the dark-haired one said, offering his hand.

“Nice to meet you.” I smiled politely. “I’m Mia, and this is my friend Eleni.”

“Shit,” the sandy-haired, musclebound friend said, gripping his beer bottle. “You know who this is, Jamie? She’s the cover model, the one in the white bikini.”

He was right. I had been wearing a white bikini on the last cover.

“Good memory,” I said with a tight smile. The way they were ogling me made me feel as though I’d been a naked centerfold. Trying to ignore their intense perusal, I made my way around the table to hug each of my girlfriends.

“What are you drinking?” Jamie asked, standing close enough to brush shoulders with me.

“I’ll just grab a glass of wine when the waitress stops by.” I was trying not to be rude, but I’d come there to catch up with my friends, not ward off a jerk’s advances all night.

Eleni reached for a full shot glass on the table as she winked at me. “You’re wasting your time. She’s banging Alabaster’s head honcho. You won’t get anywhere with her. Me, on the other hand…”

“Shut the hell up!” Edie said, grabbing my forearm. “You and Deacon? Since when?”

All of the girls, who suddenly looked stone-cold sober, turned to me for answers.

“We’ve just been… uh… getting to know each other for a little while.”

“Wait a minute,” Christie, a tall, slim blonde, said, shaking her head as though she were trying to clear out cobwebs. “What happened to Drew? I thought he was the love of your life.”

“We broke up.” I wanted to avoid saying more since the two guys were hanging on our every word. “Just decided it was time to move on.”

“So you and Starkis?” Melanie was a fiery redhead with bright green eyes and flawless creamy skin. “I can’t believe it. You were the last one I thought would get mixed up with him.”

Eleni smiled at the two men. “Uh, boys, we need a little girl time. Why don’t you come back and see us in a bit?”

After a bit of grumbling, the two men departed.

Melanie divvied up the shots on the table, five apiece. “Okay, we want details. Tell us how it happened.”

“He emailed me after a shoot a few months ago to tell me he was pleased with it. It just kind of evolved from there. We emailed and texted for a while but just met recently.” I threw back a shot of Sambuca. I’d need a little liquid courage to get through their inquisition.

“So you’ve slept with him?” Edie laughed when I nodded. “He’s wild, isn’t he? I swear, that guy ruined me for all other men.”

I ignored the painful burn of both the liquor and Edie’s words as I reached for another glass.

“Yeah, me too.” Mel giggled, elbowing Eleni in the ribs. “The man is a master. In every sense of the word.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

When I tossed back the second shot, I feared it might come right back up. My stomach churned in protest. I wasn’t a big drinker. I knew shots were a bad idea, but I had to obliterate this conversation from my memory somehow.

Edie grasped Christie’s hand across the table. “Remember that night at his place? That was a first for me. I never thought I’d get off just watching, but that was seriously hot.”

“Hmmm.” Christie closed her eyes as though trying to recapture the memory. “Yeah, and then he—”

“You said this happened at his house?” I reached for shot number three. That lying bastard! It wasn’t bad enough he’d had kinky threesomes with my friends and I had to hear about it, but he’d lied to me about where it had happened?

“Yeah,” Christie said, her head bobbing. “That is some place he’s got. I mean, I knew he was a billionaire, but you don’t really get that until you see the way he lives. Did you know he has fifteen cars? Fifteen freakin’ cars! I mean, seriously, who needs that many cars?”

I should have been grateful we’d ventured into safer territory, at least for the moment.

“So he called me a couple weeks ago and told me to come to his office.” Christie grinned and ran her tongue over her teeth. “I was downstairs, so I made it up there in record time.”

“Seriously?” Mel asked. “What did he want?”

“What do you think he wanted?” She laughed. “Gave me some story about it being a rough day and said he needed a little stress relief.”

Eleni’s eyes met mine across the table. Ugh. I knew that look. She felt sorry for me—sorry I’d been taken in by a lying son of a bitch who’d claimed I was special. Well, screw him! He wasn’t the only man in the world.

Jamie slipped his arm around the back of my chair. “We made ourselves scarce as long as we could, but we couldn’t resist the temptation to come back and at least offer to buy another round of drinks for you lovely ladies.”

Melanie laughed as she gestured at the full shot glasses. “We have to work our way through these ones first.”

“Well, let us help you with that.” Jamie picked up one of the glasses in front of me and downed it.

He really was handsome in a super-jock kind of way. I reached for my last shot, ignoring the warning look I got from El. My best friend was just trying to look out for me, but I didn’t need a babysitter. I needed someone who could remind me how good it felt to be young and free.

“Wanna dance?” I asked, tipping my head up to meet Jamie’s eyes. They were blue, like his. No! I would not think about Starkis. After everything I’d learned about him, I didn’t care if I ever saw him again—so long as he continued to sign my paychecks. A girl had to eat!

“I’d love to.” He took my hand and led me onto the crowded dance floor.

Four shots felt as if I’d had the whole bottle. I guessed it was my fault for throwing them back in ten minutes on an empty stomach.

Jamie laughed when I stumbled, and he had to catch me before I did a face-plant on the dance floor. Eleni was right—I couldn’t hold my liquor. I was grateful it was a slow song and I could rely on Jamie to hold me up. I didn’t think I could trust my legs to support my weight.

“So you and this guy… is it serious?” he asked.

“There is no other guy.”

“But I thought your friends said—”

“He’s an asshat.”

Jamie grinned. “Well then, it seems my timing is perfect.”

I closed my eyes as his hands cupped my butt and his lips skimmed my neck. He was already aroused, not that I was surprised. I didn’t want this or him. I just wanted to forget the pain of being deceived.

I tipped my head back to give him better access, and my arms circled his neck as I tried to pretend he was someone else, someone who turned me on. His lips collided with mine in a hungry possession that abruptly ended my fantasy. He smelled like cheap beer and cigarettes, and his taste made me want to wretch. Before I could break free, someone’s hand came down hard on his shoulder, pulling us apart.

“Miss Barnes,” Barry said, “I’m going to have to ask you to come with me now.” He thrust my purse into my hands.

“But I just got here,” I whined, leaning into Jamie’s chest. “I’m not ready to leave yet.”

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice.”

I would have argued, but I felt nauseated, and I didn’t want to make a fool of myself by puking all over the dance floor or my dance partner. “Fine, but I have to tell my friends I’m leaving. Just gimme a minute.”

“I’ve already told them I’m taking you home. I’ll come back to pick them up later.”

He’d thought of everything, hadn’t he? Not that I was surprised. Deacon was undoubtedly paying him a small fortune to be his eyes and ears. That’s when realization dawned on me. “Why are you in here? Why weren’t you waiting in the car? Did Deacon tell you to keep an eye on me?”

Stone-faced, he said, “I’m not at liberty to discuss my employer’s directives with you, Miss Barnes.”

I could tell he was disgusted with me. Last night he’d been amiable and friendly, but tonight he was short and abrupt, as though he could barely stand the sight of me. I wanted to tell him that Deacon was the lying cheat, not me, but I didn’t want to belabor our conversation any longer than I had to.

Jamie’s arm circled my waist. “I can take the lady home, boss. You take the rest of the night off.”

Barry scowled as he reached for my hand. “I don’t think so.”

“Hey!” Jamie shouted when Barry pulled me away. “At least let me get her number!”

Barry hustled me into the car without a word, slamming the door with more force than necessary. How unprofessional!

I closed my eyes and let myself drift off. I just wanted to forget everything that had happened tonight. Maybe I would wake up and realize the whole thing had been an awful nightmare.

I woke when I felt a blast of air on my bare legs. It took me a moment to realize Barry was holding out his hand, waiting to help me from the limo. I slipped out, surprised I felt a little steadier on my feet than I had when I’d left the club. The fresh air and catnap must have helped.

When I realized where I was, a fresh wave of nausea washed over me. Barry had brought me to Deacon’s house. Damn it! I should never have fallen asleep. “I want to go home. Now!”

As though he hadn’t heard me, he guided me up the steep steps to the front door. “Sorry, I had specific instructions to bring you here.”

“But—”

Before I could argue, he bounded down the stairs and opened the driver’s door of the waiting limo. Coward. As I watched his taillights disappear, I realized I didn’t have a choice. I’d have to face my lying, deceitful ex whether I wanted to or not.

I didn’t bother knocking. I knew he’d be expecting me.

He was sitting in a leather chair in front of the fireplace, his feet up on an ottoman, and drinking from a glass of amber liquid. A chill ran through me at the sight of him. His expression was impassive, but the tension emanating from him indicated he was livid.

I closed the door quietly and slipped off my shoes. I still wasn’t too steady, and I didn’t want to embarrass myself by stumbling on the limestone tile. “Barry said you wanted to see me.” My voice was shaky, my rage melting with fear. I knew he was volatile, and I had no idea what he might be thinking or planning.

He looked at me a long time, his eyes swiping me from head to toe and back and again. “There’s something I’d like you to see before we talk.” He nodded at an iPad on the coffee table between us. “Have a look at that.”

I picked up the tablet, my hands shaking. I hit the button to bring the screen to life. I couldn’t say I was surprised Barry had taken a video of me kissing Jamie and sent it to Deacon. It looked hot and erotic, not at all the way it felt. Jamie’s hands were on my ass, grinding my pelvis into his arousal as he devoured my mouth. In spite of what had been going through my mind at the time, I appeared to be eager for his kiss, inviting more. I set the tablet on the table, unsure what I should say or do in response.

“Explain.”

“You first.”

He glared at me, his grip on the glass tightening. “Excuse me?”

“You said you’d never invited another woman to your home. You said you hadn’t been with anyone else in that bed.”

“I haven’t.”

“You’re a liar.”

His eyes narrowed, fury emanating from him. “Be careful, theia. I am in no mood to deal with your unfounded accusations right now.”

“You had a threesome with Edie and Christie here.” I tried to keep my emotions in check, but verbalizing that brought the pain to the surface again.

His expression softened a touch, as though he was beginning to fit the pieces together. “I host a party here every year for Alabaster’s. The girls were here, but the… incident… you’re referring to happened in my pool house, not in my bedroom, and it wasn’t a threesome. I was with Christie and Edie walked in on us. When I realized she was there, I asked her to leave.”

Oh. That made it marginally better, I supposed. But the thought of him with other women still felt like a dagger inching through my stomach.

“But that was before I met you, so I don’t see how it’s relevant.” He stood and walked to a gilded antique hutch in the corner. After uncapping a crystal decanter, he poured another finger of what appeared to be scotch into his highball glass.

“Did you call Christie a couple of weeks ago and ask her to come to your office?”

He threw the drink back in one swallow before facing me, the empty glass in his hand. “I did.”

“Because you wanted… sex?” I could barely get the words out, they tasted so vile. But I had to know the truth.

“Yes.”

My tears were unexpected, a blend of hurt, anger, and frustration. “That’s what I thought. We have nothing left to say—” I screamed when he hurled the glass at the front door, shattering it into hundreds of tiny shards and effectively blocking my exit.

“I have a lot to say, and you’re going to listen to every goddamn word!” He crossed the room in the blink of an eye. His fingers bit into my upper arms as he shook me slightly.

“Take your hands off me,” I whispered, almost afraid of what his reaction might be. I’d never seen a man so crazed, and it terrified me.

“That’s what you should have said to that piece of shit trying to get into your panties earlier,” he whispered.

His scotch-laced breath tickled my senses, and in spite of my mixed emotions, I was aroused.

“You should have told him I’m the only one allowed to touch you.” He flattened my body to his, his hands cupping my ass the same way Jamie’s had. “How dare you let him touch you like this.”

“I was hurt.” I swallowed back the tears, determined to stand my ground. He may not have lied, but what I’d learned about him made me question whether or not I would ever be woman enough for him and if I even wanted to try. “And angry. And confused.”

“Understood.” He reached under my dress and tore off my lace panties so fast I shrieked. “But when you feel that way, you ask me. You talk to me. You don’t stick your tongue down some punk’s throat hoping to find the answers there.”

He was right. I knew he was, but I wasn’t ready to concede yet.

“I can’t change my past.” He tore my dress down to plump and squeeze my breast. “Would I if I could? Maybe, knowing how much it bothers you. But I can’t. That’s who I was. It’s not who I am today.”

“It was just a couple of weeks ago,” I cried. “I was in your life then. How can I believe you’ve changed so much in such a short period of time?”

“You may have been in my life,” he murmured, his voice still fierce, “but you weren’t mine. You were his. I had to go home alone every night. I fell asleep in my big empty bed knowing you were across town sharing a bed with him. It ate me up inside until I could barely contain my rage and frustration. So yes, I needed an outlet sometimes. Some men use alcohol or drugs to ease their pain. I use sex.”

I should have been appalled, but a part of me understood. I’d done the same thing tonight, used alcohol and a warm body to shut out my pain. “I’m sorry about what happened tonight.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I shouldn’t have kissed him.”

I tipped my head up, hoping he would accept my apology with a kiss, but his lips were firmly sealed.

He pulled back. “I want you to shower, brush your teeth with one of the new brushes in my vanity, use mouthwash—lots of it—and then bring every article of clothing you wore tonight back here so I can burn it, including the shoes.”

I gaped at him, trying to decide if he was serious. Then I noticed the fireplace was burning even though it was hot and humid outside.

“I won’t ask again,” he said. “I intend to erase every trace of what happened tonight from your memory.”

“If you think I’m attracted to him, that I intend to see him again—”

He thrust his hands into my hair, holding my face between his palms. With his lips mere inches from mine, he whispered, “You see him again, and I’ll beat him to within an inch of his miserable life.”

I had no doubt he was serious, making me question whether my nickname for him was a little too apropos. “No one wants to forget what happened tonight more than I do.”

“You’re wrong.” He closed his eyes. “I do, but I can’t. It’ll take me months of kissing you to wipe that image out of my head.”

I realized how much damage I’d done. I hadn’t only angered him—I’d crushed him. “Baby, I’m sorry I let him kiss me.” My fingertips caressed his whisker-roughened jaw. “It was wrong. Nothing like that will ever happen again.”

“You’re right. I won’t let it.”

I’d been the one preaching about trust, and I was the one who’d given him reason to doubt me. “Tell me what I can do—”

“I did. Now do it. I won’t ask you again.”

Chapter Twelve

Deacon

I heard the shower turn off upstairs as I fixated on the flames dancing in front of me. I’d never thought I could feel pain like that at a woman’s hands. Watching her kiss another man, watching him put his hands on her, and knowing I was helpless to stop it had nearly sent me over the edge.

I’d been drinking ever since Barry emailed me the video he’d shot with his cell phone, but I still felt sober. The alcohol wasn’t doing its job. It wasn’t masking the pain. The only thing that could help was sinking into her hot body. Making her cry my name. Hearing her tell me she loved me. Making her beg for my forgiveness.

I heard soft footsteps on the hardwood behind me before the sound became muted by the Persian rug. I didn’t turn to face her. I couldn’t. My emotions were still so close to the surface. I didn’t know what I might say or do if she uttered the wrong word or tried to leave me again. I hated feeling so out of control. Somehow, some way, I had to rein it back in.

“The clothes,” she whispered, holding out the pile.

I turned slowly and took them without allowing my skin to brush hers. At the fireplace, I opened the screen and tossed them in. I stoked the flame with the poker as I watched the dress I despised turn to ash. She’d looked gorgeous in it, and I knew she must have caught the attention of every man in the club.

“The shoes,” she said, looking toward the front entrance.

“I disposed of those.”

“Deacon, those were Gucci. Couldn’t you—”

“I’ll write you a check to cover your loss!” My voice echoed off the high ceilings, making her jump back in surprise.

“I have nothing to wear home,” she said, sounding meeker than before.

“You’re not going home, at least not tonight.”

“I’m not?” She waited, obviously expecting me to fill her in on what I had planned.

“Did you do as I asked?” I knew it would take more than a little mouthwash and toothpaste to wash another man’s taste out of her mouth though.

“Yes.”

“Upstairs.” Curling my hand into a fist, I pointed at the winding staircase with the other. “Now!”

She scrambled up the stairs, and I followed her. I watched her cross the hall to the master bedroom while I took a moment to collect myself.

I found her sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for me. Her eyes darted up to meet mine when I closed and locked the door. Locking the door was a signal to her that there was no escape. She was stuck with me until I chose to let her go.

“Deacon…” She scrambled back on the bed. “You’re scaring me.”

I sucked in a deep breath, forcing the words past my lips. “You cheated on me. No one has ever cheated on me.” Mainly because I’d never been stupid enough to let a woman get so close to me. I’d never been so vulnerable before.

“I said I’m sorry. I was upset about—”

“Stop talking.” I tore my clothes off as I walked toward the bed. I snapped my belt in my hand, making her tremble.

“Deacon, please. Don’t—”

All I had ever wanted was to love her—to shower her with love, attention, affection, and the spoils she deserved. The only thing I had asked for in return was fidelity—the one thing she apparently couldn’t give me. My mind told me it was only a kiss, but the predatory beast in me told me it would have led to more had Barry not been there to intervene.

“Stand up and bend over the bed. Now!”

“No!”

“Then you’re free to go.”

She looked at me, her eyes wide and frantic. “What are you talking about?”

“It’s over between us. I never want to see you again.” Saying those words, calling her bluff, was the hardest thing I’d ever done, but I refused to let her think complacency in trust and fidelity was an option. If she was going to be my wife, the mother of my children, she had to understand she was mine.

“You don’t mean that,” she whispered, looking stunned. “You can’t. You said you loved me.”

“You claimed to love me,” I said, reaching for my shirt on the floor. “But you stuck your tongue down another man’s throat tonight. Is that how you prove your love to me?”

She dropped her head. “I’m sorry. I was jealous. Hearing about you with other women, believing you’d lied to me was torture. I reacted without thinking.”

It tore out my heart to see the tears on her cheeks, the misery in her eyes. I knew she was remorseful, but it wasn’t enough. I needed her to know it could never happen again. “You have a choice, Mia: do as I ask or leave.”

“I don’t have any clothes.”

So that was her choice. She wanted to leave. My gut twisted painfully as I reached into a drawer and grabbed a pair of athletic shorts with a drawstring waist and a T-shirt. I was desperate for her to stay, for her to prove that she wanted to make this work in spite of what had happened tonight, but she had to stay because she wanted to, not because she felt she had to.

“This means I’m fired?”

That was what she was thinking about—her job?

I walked to the French doors leading to the balcony and threw them open, needing some fresh air. “No, you’re not fired. Leave. Now.”

“I don’t want to,” she sobbed. “Please, Deacon, I’m sorry. So sorry. I love you. Can’t we work this out?”

I turned to face her. She was kneeling, her damp hair tousled, and looking every bit the cover girl she was. She was telling me she loved me, begging for forgiveness, and every part of me wanted to forgive her, but I couldn’t. Not yet.

“You have two choices: do as I ask or leave.”

“Fine.” She sounded bitter and resentful. “Fine, you want to beat me with that belt? Do it!” She leaned over the bed, turning her perfect, round ass up, her head falling forward as her hair masked her face.

I heard the fear in her voice, and it triggered something in me—empathy. I walked to the bed and grabbed her arm. The depth of pain in her eyes stunned me. “I wasn’t going to hit you with the belt.”

She collapsed against my chest, sobbing. “I’d heard you were… into that stuff.” She was sobbing uncontrollably, barely able to catch her breath. “I used to get punished with a belt. I was so scared. It hurt so much. I couldn’t stop it. I tried, but no matter how hard I cried, he wouldn’t stop. He said I had to be punished, that—”

“Sssh.” I kissed the top of her head as my arms encircled her. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m not going to hurt you. I could never hurt you.” I’d wanted to take her hard and fast to remind her that she belonged to me, but I had no desire to cause her physical pain. The fact that I’d triggered painful memories made me wish I were a different kind of man, more reasonable, more understanding. “Your father did this to you?”

She nodded, barely able to look at me. “My mother said it wasn’t her place to intervene.” She wrapped her arms around my waist, laying her head on my chest. “How could it not have been her place to protect her own child?”

“It’s my job to protect you now,” I whispered as I tipped her face up to meet mine. “Can’t you see that’s why I was so angry tonight? You walked into that bar, wearing that dress and those shoes, capturing the attention of every man in the place, drinking recklessly, getting mixed up with some asshole you didn’t know—”

“I’m so sorry.” She stood on her tippy toes to kiss my lips. “I made a mistake. It was a bad judgment call, but please, don’t break up with me because of it. I need you. I love you.” She rested her hands against my chest. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone. It scares me, but it’s exciting at the same time.”

“I have no intention of ending this.” If I had let her leave, I feared I would have been on the phone or sitting outside of her apartment building before daybreak. She had crawled under my skin. She was a part of me. “But we have to set some ground rules about acceptable behavior.” I eased her back on the bed, lying beside her.

“I know what happened tonight shouldn’t have happened,” she said, curling into me as soon as I lay down.

“It wasn’t just the kiss, though that was certainly the thing that infuriated me the most.” I tightened my grip on her. “It was everything from your choice of attire to the drinking to dancing with strange men. I’m not okay with any of it.”

She smiled as she tipped her head back to look at me. “You’re being overprotective.”

“No, I’m not.” My anger was starting to dissipate, and I wanted to have an open and honest conversation with her, but it wasn’t easy when she dismissed my concerns. “You’re a target—not only because you’re a beautiful woman but because you’re a lingerie and swimsuit model. Men become obsessed with girls like you.”

“Kind of like you did?” she asked, tracing a fingertip over my stomach.

I gripped her hand. “That’s not funny. I’m serious. A guy sees you in a club, recognizes you, and becomes infatuated. He wants to take you home, to take you to bed, and he won’t let anything or anyone stop him. That could have easily happened tonight if Barry hadn’t been there to protect you.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” She kissed my chest. “I wasn’t thinking about the consequences. I just wanted to go out and have a little fun—”

“You can’t have fun like that anymore. Not only because you’re my girlfriend but because of who you are. Your face is easily recognizable now.”

She sighed softly. “Okay, I understand. I’ll be more careful from now on.” She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. “Deacon, do you…”

I could tell something was troubling her. “Do I what?” I propped my head in my hand as I rolled over to face her.

“Do you think you’ll be able to give up that lifestyle? I mean, do you think it’s realistic for you?”

“You’re asking me if I intend to cheat on you?” I asked, placing my hand on her flat stomach. “No. The answer is no.”

“But you could have any woman you want.” A tear glided down her cheek into her hairline. “And I just wonder whether we’re sexually compatible. Maybe you’d be better suited to someone more adventurous. I haven’t experimented very much. I’ve only had one lover, and sex for me has always been pretty… vanilla.” The shadows on her beautiful face told me how difficult it was for her to admit that.

I kissed away her tears, my anger melting at her display of vulnerability. “I love that you haven’t slept around. Sex means something to you, as it should. It’s something that should be reserved for someone special, someone you love.” I smirked when she quirked an eyebrow at me. “Obviously I haven’t practiced what I’m preaching, but I knew when the time came and I was ready to settle down that I wouldn’t want to marry one of those girls.”

“Those girls?” she asked, lacing her hand with mine. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know.” I did know, but I couldn’t find the words to express it without sounding like a hypocrite. “There are girls you have fun with and girls you marry. Girls like Mel and Christie fall into the former category. You fall into the latter.”

“If I had been promiscuous, you wouldn’t have been interested in me?”

“Probably not.” I chuckled. “I realize how bad that sounds, but I’m kind of old-fashioned, I guess. I want my woman to be… I don’t know, innocent.”

She rolled her eyes. “Innocent? Come on.”

I laughed, kissing the top of her head. “Okay, maybe that’s not the right choice of words. I just want to know she hasn’t slept with every man who’s asked.”

She slapped my chest. Hard. “If I were you, I’d quit while I was ahead!”

“You’re right.” I loved that she challenged me when most would concede defeat. I admired strong women, which meant we had to clear up her misconceptions about me. “You asked me before if I was a Dom. Is that why you thought I was going to spank you or use the belt to punish you?”

“Yes.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper, indicating she’d rather not acknowledge her fears.

I knew we had to clear the air. “I won’t deny I like being in control. But when I ask you to refrain from doing the things you did tonight—dressing like that, drinking too much, dancing with random men—it’s not because I’m trying to control you. It’s because I’m trying to protect you because I love you. You see the difference, don’t you?”

“I do now.”

“When we’re in the bedroom and I ask you to do something, it’s because I want to maximize your pleasure. I will push you out of your comfort zone sometimes, ask you to do things in the name of experimentation that you’ve never done, but I’ll never insist you do anything you don’t want to do. You can always say no. You know that, right?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” I tipped her head up so I could kiss her lips. “I don’t want a submissive woman. I want a strong, sexy lover who can give as good as she gets, a partner who isn’t afraid to challenge me and let me have it when I deserve it.”

Her eyes glimmered with amusement. “I don’t think I’ll have a problem with that.”

“Having said that…” I tried to choose my words carefully, wanting to avoid any confusion. “I will expect certain things from you.”

“What kind of things?” she asked, sounding hesitant.

“What happened tonight can never happen again.”

She cringed before burrowing deeper into my arms. “It won’t. I swear.”

“When I ask you not to go somewhere I consider dangerous or wear something I consider too risqué, I’ll ask that you respect my wishes.”

She sat up, her mouth hanging open. “You’re the king of sexy clothes! Just look at any of the Alabaster’s catalogues. Women wear those clothes with one intent: to look and feel sexy! Now you’re telling me you don’t want me to dress that way? That’s ridiculous!”

She had a valid point. Women loved our clothes because they were risqué. They were perfect for a night on the town, but I didn’t want my woman parading around town looking as though she was on the prowl.

“Our clothes appeal to a certain demographic,” I said, trying a different approach. “Single women who are looking to attract the opposite sex.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’ve got news for you, Deacon. Even married women wear lingerie and bikinis.”

“You’re right, and you’re more than welcome to wear lingerie for me or a bikini when I’m walking beside you on the beach, holding your hand.” I knew that would be a deal-breaker for many women, but I refused to let this point of contention destroy us. “I’ll gladly hire a stylist who can help you find clothes you love…” I cleared my throat. “That we both love.”

“Let me get this straight.” She leaned forward as she used one hand to keep her thick waves off her face. “You want to take me shopping and approve my wardrobe choices?”

“Yes.”

“That’s over the top, even for you.”

“In my business, I have to attend a lot of events, even when I don’t want to,” I said, trying to explain my position without offending her. I’d never worked so hard to placate a woman. “Naturally, I’ll want you to accompany me. There are certain expectations at these galas. There’s a uniform, if you will. Women are expected to wear elegant evening gowns. Trashy cocktail dresses aren’t an option.” I winced when I realized how judgmental that sounded.

“Trashy?” She sounded embarrassed. “You mean like the dress I wore tonight? I’ll have you know that wasn’t some cheap—”

“I’m not implying it was. This isn’t about the price tag. It’s about the message it conveys. That dress screamed available, and you’re not. Can’t you see a problem with that?”

“I suppose,” she said reluctantly, laying her head back on my shoulder.

“Good. Then you’ll let me take you shopping?”

“It’s not like I have a choice,” she muttered.

I laughed. “You always have a choice, sweetheart.” I brushed my hand through her silky hair. “You don’t have to act like it’s such an imposition. Most women would be thrilled their rich boyfriend was offering to take them on a shopping spree.”

“I don’t want this relationship to be about money,” she said quietly. “I get that you’re rich, that you can buy anything you want, but I’m not for sale.”

“Is that what you think?” I lifted her head until she was forced to look me in the eye. “That I’m doing all of this because I’m trying to impress you, to buy your love and affection?”

“It’s not uncommon for rich older men to shower their young girlfriends with expensive gifts to keep them interested, is it?”

“Ouch.” I grimaced. “I’m not that old, and I know I don’t have to buy you gifts to keep you interested. I know I’m man enough to keep any woman interested without the accoutrements.”

“That you are,” she said, grinning. “Fine, we’ll do it your way. On this one point, I’ll concede. We’ll shop ‘til we find me a Deacon-approved wardrobe.”

“There’s one more thing,” I said, knowing I was probably pushing my luck.

“What’s that?”

“Let’s talk about where all these new clothes will be delivered.”

I heard the sharp intake of breath before she said, “They’ll be delivered to my apartment, of course.”

“Theia, I want you to move in with me.”

Chapter Thirteen

Mia

After the night we’d had, I didn’t want to argue anymore, but I wasn’t ready to live with him. If my experience with Drew had taught me one thing, it was that living with a man changed the dynamic of the relationship. They went from being caring, attentive boyfriends to little boys who expected you to tend to their every need, from picking up their dirty underwear off the floor to cooking their meals and packing their lunches. Of course, Deacon had a staff to do those things for him, but he obviously had other expectations of me. Besides, I was looking forward to living on my own and being independent. If I got lonely, I could always take Eleni up on her offer to be roommates, but for the time being, I was content with things as they were.

“I’m not moving in with you, Deacon.”

“I want it all with you,” he said, lowering his head to kiss my neck.

He was trying to manipulate me using my body’s shameless reaction to his touch, but it wouldn’t work. I was more resilient than that. Hopefully.

“I want to spend every night with you. I want to have breakfast and dinner with you.” His kisses became more purposeful, more passionate. “I want to know you’ll be waiting for me when I get home. I want to know that when you go out, like you did tonight, you’ll come home to me.”

When he kissed me like that, it was difficult to remember my legitimate reasons for avoiding a serious commitment. I loved the man, but I needed to maintain my own identity. Getting sucked into the vortex of his world would be too easy, and if I did, there would be no escape. Women like me didn’t just walk away from men like Deacon Starkis. Ever. At twenty-three, the prospect of forever was too daunting for me to contemplate, even though I couldn’t imagine ever finding another man who made me feel the way he did.

He slipped a finger inside me, followed by another, which he glided in and out slowly. He watched my face for signs he was wearing me down. “I want to see a huge diamond on your finger… my engagement ring. I want the world and every man in it to know you’re mine.”

I couldn’t deny his possessiveness was crazy hot. Even though his methods were a little unconventional, no woman alive could have denied she would be as turned on as I was listening to the litany of commitments he wanted from me.

“I want to do this to you every morning and night.”

I whimpered. “Yes…” That was so unfair, using my body against me, but of course my man was a master at getting exactly what he wanted.

“I don’t just want to tell you I love you—I want to show you. Every day, in every way.” His words were coming faster, in concert with my sporadic gasps. “I want to take you around the world, show you the wonders, and make all of your dreams come true.”

“Yes, oh God, yes.” I wasn’t agreeing, only responding to the way he was working so hard to bring me unparalleled pleasure.

“I can’t wait to get you pregnant. To watch my baby grow inside you… proof of our love. Proof that you’ll always be mine.”

His fierce whisper was all it took to send me hurtling over the edge. “Deacon… yes….” My muscles clenched, my limbs trembled, and my heels dug into the mattress as I clutched his wrist, silently begging him to stop while I dreaded that he would. My orgasm seemed to go on forever. My heart was beating so hard and fast that I feared I would pass out.

“So beautiful,” he whispered, kissing my cheeks, my lips, and my closed eyes as he rubbed my stomach. “So perfect. My goddess.”

As things came back in to focus, I stared at him, struck by the fact he was saying to me exactly what I was thinking about him. So beautiful. So perfect. And all mine. “I love you.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “So much.”

“And I love you.” He kissed me tenderly, a smile playing at his lips. “When you came here tonight, I was so furious. I was so convinced the only thing that would make me feel better was punishing you.”

“Punishing me? I’m almost afraid to ask what that might have entailed.” I couldn’t deny that a part of me wondered what my sexy psycho might have had in store for me—as long as it didn’t involve the belt. That was where I had to draw the line.

“It doesn’t matter now.” He kissed me deeply, as though he savored the simple act and intended to draw it out as long as he could before we both had to breathe. “You proved something to me tonight.”

“What’s that?” I brushed my fingers over the few strands of silver hair I saw peeking through the black at his temples.

“I thought punishing you would make me feel better. Turns out I was wrong.”

“You were wrong?” My lips twitched. “I should record that for posterity. Who knows when I might hear it again?”

He rolled me toward him so he could smack my butt, prompting him to grin when I squealed. “Talking to you, telling you how I felt and what I wanted, reaching a compromise we could both live with—that made me feel better.”

“I’m glad.” I kissed him thoroughly. “It made me feel better too.”

“Knowing you want the same things I do.” He kissed my neck. “That we’re on the same page about our future makes me so happy. You have no idea, theia.”

Huh? I racked my brain, trying to remember what he’d said, what I’d agreed to, while he’d had me on the precipice of a mind-shattering orgasm. Surely he couldn’t hold me to that. I’d been out of my mind, desperate for release. He had to know I was under the influence… of his power and persuasion? Yes. Definitely as mind-altering as any drug or alcohol.

Deacon climbed on top of me before I could explain. He prodded me with his hardness, rubbing the engorged head against my sensitive flesh, making me moan and beg and plead once again. I really was a shameful slave to my body, especially when he was the one masterfully pulling the strings.

“Hmmm…” He used my arousal to coat his hard shaft. “You want that, sweetheart? You want me?”

“Yes.” I was insatiable. I’d just come, yet I was hungry for another orgasm. Knowing he was the only one who could give it to me, I gripped his powerful biceps, prepared to plead. “Deacon, I need—”

“I know what you need, gorgeous,” he said, thrusting deep inside me with one powerful lunge. “You need me. Filling you. Completing you. Pleasuring you. Reminding you that nothing feels as good as this.”

“Yes…” He was right, so right. Nothing compared to that feeling. I’d had no idea sex could make me feel so… complete. When he was inside me, he filled a void I hadn’t even known had been there.

“I can’t get enough of you.” He groaned, plunging into me forcefully, as his hands dug into my hips. “It’ll never be enough.”

I only hoped I would be enough. After what I’d learned about him, I still had my reservations, but I couldn’t let my insecurities rob me of pleasure. I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but tonight he seemed intent on leading me to a new zenith of bliss.

Before I understood his intent, he flipped me over and positioned me on my hands and knees, as he’d demanded earlier. He rammed into me relentlessly, rough and harsher than ever. “Tell me… I’m… the only… one you want.”

I knew his mind was still on what had happened earlier. I wanted to erase the image from his memory, but it was nearly impossible to find the right words when his body was thrashing into mine, the clapping sound echoing as he grunted with exertion.

“Tell me!” His cry was almost animalistic and frantic, as though he needed my reassurance.

“You’re the… only one… I want.” I was panting and gasping, trying to suck enough air into my lungs to form the words he needed to hear. “You’re the man… I want… to share my body with.”

He seized me around the waist with one hand while grazing my tender core rhythmically with the other until I cried out in expectation. Instead of rewarding me with another blissful climax, he retreated, leaving me hanging from the cliff.

“What are you… doing?” I tried to put his hand back where it belonged, but he’d moved on to my breasts, pinching and rolling each nipple until I cried out again—whether in pain or pleasure, I wasn’t sure.

“Reminding you”—he slowed down, easing in and out of me gently as his breathing softened—“you’re mine.” He ran his hand up and down my back, over my ass. “Your pleasure is mine. Your body is mine.”

A part of me railed against his claim while an equal part wanted to surrender. I knew he was doing this to punish me, even though he’d said he didn’t feel the need for retribution after we talked.

“Say it.” He gripped my hair, pulling my head back gently. “Say it, and I’ll take you where you’re dying to go.”

I was furious that he was holding my body hostage, but a little voice in my head reminded me I would want revenge if he’d been the one kissing someone else, so I swallowed my pride and let him have his way. Just once. “I’m yours.”

“This incredible body”—he cupped my breast firmly before guiding his hand down my stomach, stopping just short of where I wanted his hand—“is all mine, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” I bit my lip as tears of frustration sprang to my eyes. I wanted to beg him to stop this torture, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

“You’ll never, ever kiss another man, will you?”

Never was a long time. How could I make a promise like that, not knowing what the future held for us?

“Answer me.” He flipped me over again and pinned my hands over my heads. “Now.”

“Right now, tonight, I’m yours.”

A wave of intense anguish drew lines on his handsome face before his eyes darkened with resentment. “That’s all you can give me? Tonight?”

“Please, Deacon.” I rolled my hips, exasperated that he felt the need to have this conversation now.

“That’s all you want?”

I’d provoked him, but it was too late to turn back. The bull was already charging into me, trying to buck me… or make me cry mercy. Little did he know I loved his dark, untamed side. The more savage he was, the more turned on I got.

“Oh, Deacon, that’s amazing.”

“You like that?” he demanded, locking eyes with mine. “If I give you this every night, you’ll stay?” He clenched his jaw, practically sweating fury. “How long? Until you get tired of me and decide it’s time to move on?”

I closed my eyes to shut out his anger, focusing on the way his body was controlling mine. He pulled out abruptly, causing my eyes to snap open.

“Where are you going?”

Deacon glared at me as he eased off the bed. “To take a cold shower.”

“Are you insane?” I cried, grasping his wrist. “You can’t leave like this. Not now.”

“Apparently, we’re both free to leave whenever we choose to. I choose to leave now.”

I watched his sculpted body as he walked into the en suite and slammed the door. What the hell just happened?

***

“There are clothes waiting for you downstairs,” he said when he finally came out of the bathroom, one towel wrapped around his waist, the other drying his hair.

“How did—”

“I asked Selene to bring something for you to wear,” he said. “She said she’d leave it in the powder room.”

“I’m not wearing your lover’s clothes,” I said, crossing my arms defiantly. I was still pissed he’d left me high and dry, though I was sure he felt his actions were warranted since I wouldn’t bend to his will and agree to spend the rest of my life with him after I’d known him for, like, a minute. Psycho freak.

“She’s no longer my lover, and they’re not her clothes. The pool house is stocked with items for guests: dresses, cover-ups, swimwear, sandals. She brought you something from there.”

I shouldn’t have been surprised, since apparel was his business, but I was still annoyed he’d called her to come to the rescue.

“Barry is on his way to pick you up. He should be here in a few minutes.”

I glanced at the bedside clock. It was almost two in the morning. “Can’t wait to be rid of me, huh?”

“I’d say that’s your issue, not mine.” He ran his hands through his damp hair, styling it with his fingers in front of the mirror.

“Deacon, this is ridiculous. We barely know each other. How can I agree to spend the rest of my life with you?”

He turned to face me slowly, his expression unreadable. “My parents met the day before their wedding. They’ve been married almost forty years.”

I didn’t see how that was relevant. “An arranged marriage?”

“Yes.” He walked into the closet and returned wearing a full-length black robe. “I guess they were committed to making it work, so they found a way.”

“I’m not saying I couldn’t imagine myself married to you ever. I’m just saying it’s too soon. I’m too young.”

“But I’m not, so I guess we’re at a crossroads, aren’t we?” He planted his hands on his hips. “I’ve found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t intend to wait years to start the next phase of my life.”

I’d never been prone to panic attacks, but his ultimatum made me anxious enough to have a full-blown meltdown. “You’re being totally unreasonable. You need to give me some time to get used to the idea of… us.” I gestured between us. “This whole thing has been overwhelming. You’re suffocating me, trying to strong-arm me into doing what you want me to do. But I can’t. I won’t.”

“Fine, have it your way,” he said grudgingly. “Never let it be said I had to bully a woman into agreeing to be my bride.”

“Deacon, that’s not what I meant. I—”

His cell phone rang, and he snatched it off the dresser. “Excuse me. I have to take this.”

I hadn’t even seen him look at the call display before he’d said he had to take it. Who the hell was calling him at two o’clock in the morning, anyhow? Did I even have the right to ask anymore?

When I heard the front door open, I wrapped the sheet around me and ran downstairs. After two exhausting rounds with him, I just wanted to run to the comfort of my own bed, pull the covers over my head, and pretend the night had been one long nightmare. Except for the sex. That had definitely been a dream come true.

Selene met me in the foyer. “Hello, Miss Barnes. Mr. Starkis asked—”

“You can quit pretending, Selene. I know you two were lovers.” I snatched the clothes out of her hands while clutching the sheet to me. I silently berated myself for taking my anger out on her, but that didn’t stop me from asking, “What? Are you surprised Deacon told me?”

She slid her tongue into her cheek. “I guess I am. He seemed guarded about your relationship. He was fiercely protective of you. I didn’t think he would want you to know about us.”

The way she said that made me suspect she was hiding something, but I didn’t have the energy for a digging expedition. “Thank you for bringing me clothes. I’m sorry he bothered you so late.”

“Not a problem.” A fake smile curled onto her full lips. “He knows I’m a night owl.”

I frowned, wondering about her excellent grasp of English in spite of her heavy accent. I understood Deacon had had the benefit of the best education, but what was her story? Did Deacon or his family pay for her education as well? No doubt.

“What happened to your clothes?” she asked, looking amused as her eyes trailed over the sheet.

“Deacon burned my dress.” I glanced at the glowing embers in the fireplace behind us. “Apparently, he didn’t care for it.”

Selene laughed lightly. “That sounds like something Deacon would do.”

“Is he always so jealous, so insanely possessive?” I figured as long as I had access to someone who knew him so intimately, I might as well take advantage of it.

“No.” She glanced at the limestone floor instead of meeting my gaze. “Women are usually interchangeable for Deacon. He doesn’t get attached.”

“Then why is he behaving this way with me?” I should have been grateful he’d deemed me special, but he was making me crazy by trying to force me into something I wasn’t ready for.

“He is in love with you.” She met my eyes, and I saw the heartbreak she was trying so hard to conceal. “He always told me that when he found the one, he would know instinctively right away, with no doubts or reservations. The other night, he told me you were the one.”

I drew a shaky breath, trying to process what she was telling me. God, I loved that crazy, complex man, but how could I be as sure as he was? “Do you believe two people can find love so quickly?”

“I do.” She smiled, but this time, it was a genuine smile. “But you have to remember I come from a different culture. Arranged marriages and short engagements are normal for us.”

“You hoped…” I didn’t know how to pose my question without digging the knife deeper, but I had to know. “Deacon would be your husband one day?”

She regarded me carefully. “He is an amazing man when you know him the way I do. He can be difficult. He is very controlling, but you will understand why when you meet his father.”

“What do you mean?”

“Demetrius is a manipulative, domineering man. He expects his children to do as he says, even now that they are grown. As the oldest, Deacon was always the one who challenged him. I think that is why he is so obsessed with power and control, because his father tries too hard to control him.”

“Interesting.”

Her explanation added a new dimension to Deacon. Demetrius Starkis must indeed be a force of nature if he believed he could control his strong-willed son.

“I should go now.” Selene reached for the door handle.

I touched her arm before she could leave. “Thank you for talking to me. You helped me understand him better.”

She nodded. “Loving him is not easy, but once he gets under your skin, there will be no one else for you.”

“You speak from experience?”

“I do.” She grasped my hand. “He does not love me. Never has, never will. I know that. If I thought there was a chance he would at some point in the future, I would marry him tomorrow. But that is not to be. Take it from me—don’t squander this chance with him. You will regret it.”

I watched her close the door and listened to the soft click before I closed my eyes. I couldn’t face him yet. I needed time to think, to process what had happened and what Selene’s advice meant for my future with Deacon.

Chapter Fourteen

Deacon

I’d listened to the front door close before the limo drove away last night, and I’d been torn between going after Mia and letting her go. Ultimately, I’d had to let her go—at least for the moment. All night, I’d tossed and turned, tempted to call her, to plead my case, to explain to her why it was so important that we make this commitment now. I wanted to believe the safety and security of a piece of paper, with no way out, would magically transform me from the man I’d been to the man she needed, but even I knew that was probably wishful thinking.

The models were backstage preparing for the fashion show, which meant Mia was off-limits unless I wanted my entire staff to know the intimate details of our business.

I spotted Blake cornering my sister and getting a little too close for my comfort, so I made my way over to them. “There you are.” I bent to kiss my sister’s cheek. “I haven’t seen you since you got back. I’m glad you could make it tonight.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world,” she said, smoothing her hand down my lapel with a radiant smile.

Tiana was ridiculously beautiful. Her ebony hair fell to her waist and she had dark eyes and olive skin like most of our ancestors, but the way men leered at her made her every overprotective brother’s worst nightmare. Especially when the men were like my best friend.

I glared at Blake. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be?”

He laughed before winking at Tiana. “Nope. I’m right where I want to be.”

I didn’t know if he was trying to get a rise out of me or if he hoped flirting with Tiana would lead to more. Either way, he would be sorely disappointed. I refused to let him bait me, and the only way he’d get close to my baby sister would be by crawling over my cold corpse. Jackass.

“I hear Damon is back in town,” I said, grabbing a champagne flute from a passing waiter’s tray. I frowned at Blake when he snagged two glasses and handed one to Tiana. She’d been legally old enough to drink for several years, but that didn’t mean I wanted him plying her with alcohol.

“He is.” She grinned. “Our brother claims he’s ready to put down roots. He’s been talking to Daddy about managing the real estate portfolio.”

According to our parents, Damon was a free spirit. In my mind, he was a typical spoiled rich kid who would rather travel the world spending his parents’ hard-earned money than make his own way. That was unfortunate since he was intelligent and extremely charismatic. I had no doubt that if he ever applied himself to a serious goal, he would be wildly successful.

“I’ll believe that when I see it,” I said. “If I know him, he spent a few months in the Mediterranean, hooked up with a clingy woman, and now he’s vowing never to return because he’s afraid she’ll hunt him down.”

“My ears are burning, Deacon. You must be talking about me again.” Damon grinned before pulling me into a back-slapping hug.

The kid may have been reckless, but I still loved him. He was my only brother, and family meant everything to me.

“We were just speculating about why you came home with your tail between your legs,” I said.

He laughed, an uninhibited raspy sound that drew the attention of every woman in the vicinity. The laugh drew their attention, but the sight of Damon was what kept it. He was tall, broad-shouldered, had black hair and olive skin, and he dressed like a high-end model. No woman could resist him, especially when they learned his last name, and he routinely used that to get them into bed.

“I just decided it was time to step up,” Damon said, sipping rare single malt scotch, his drink of choice. “Dad’s not getting any younger, and you’re busy doing your thing.”

I hoped my brother was sincere. It would have eased my father’s burden if one of his children showed an interest in overseeing his conglomerate, and since that wouldn’t be me, Damon was the next logical choice. “You’ve talked to Dad about this?”

Damon nodded as his eyes traveled to the stage. Some of the models, including Mia, were mingling before the show with important customers and suppliers, as they were encouraged to do. Leave it to my brother to home in on my woman. At least he had impeccable taste.

“You can forget about it, little brother. She’s mine.” Of course, after the way we’d left things last night, I couldn’t be sure. Still, I wouldn’t stand by and watch Damon make a play for her.

“Are you kidding me?” He flashed a blinding smile. “That little rocket is yours? The blonde in the white dress?”

At least tonight she was heeding my advice, wearing a fitted white dress that ended a few inches above her knee. Her shoes made me fear for her safety, but she looked classy, almost untouchable, and not at all like a woman on the prowl. That pleased me. Immensely.

“Yeah, so don’t get any ideas,” I said.

“Don’t you mean she’s one of yours?” Tiana looked amused as she brought the champagne flute to her lips.

Unfortunately, my little sister knew me too well.

“This one’s the real deal,” Blake interjected. “Your brother’s been chasing Mia for months. It seems he finally caught her.”

I hadn’t filled Blake in on what had happened last night, nor did I intend to. I was determined to make Mia see reason. Perhaps I could compromise and agree to a long engagement. A four- or five-carat diamond engagement ring on her finger would buy me some peace of mind.

When Mia’s eye caught mine, I lifted a finger, beckoning her. I hoped she wouldn’t embarrass me by ignoring my command. Knowing my little spitfire, I wouldn’t put anything past her.

“Damn,” Damon muttered, watching her walk toward us. “That has got to be the sexiest woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

I couldn’t have agreed more. “Again, she’s mine.” With a half-turn, I muttered so only my brother could hear me, “All mine. So don’t get any ideas.”

Mia’s smile widened as she got closer, prompting me to breathe an audible sigh of relief. After our argument, I’d been expecting her to be standoffish. In spite of my blustering last night, I had no intention of letting her go, but I’d thought I might have to work to convince her of that.

“Hello, sweetheart,” I said, reaching for her hand. When I kissed it, my eyes connected with hers. “You look stunning tonight.”

“I’m glad you approve.” The amused gleam in her eye told me she’d selected the toned-down dress to please me, and it did.

“I’d like you to meet my brother and sister.” I gestured to my siblings. “This is Damon and Tiana. Mia Barnes.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said, kissing Tiana’s cheeks before allowing Damon to kiss hers.

It was a polite greeting in our culture, yet seeing the way Damon’s arm slipped around Mia’s waist as his lips landed on her cheek made my blood boil. Apparently, my brother didn’t believe I was serious. I’d have to reiterate my warning in terms he would understand.

“Deacon has told me so much about both of you.” Mia smiled at Damon, and I could tell by the way his jaw slackened that she’d left him a little breathless. “I borrowed Barry while you were gone, Damon, at your overprotective brother’s insistence. I hope you don’t mind.”

Damon winked at Mia. “Not at all. My brother and I routinely share… everything.”

I would kill him, or at least maim him, when we were finally alone.

Seeming uncomfortable with the implication, Tiana cleared her throat delicately. “You look so familiar, Mia. Are you one of Alabaster’s models?”

“I am.” She inched closer to me so I could slip my arm around her waist. “That’s how your brother and I met.” She looked at me, smiling. “He emailed me when he saw the proofs from my first shoot, to let me know how pleased he was with them, and the rest, as they say, is history.”

I was glad she’d glossed over the specific details of our courtship. My family didn’t need to know she’d had a live-in boyfriend when I’d decided to make her mine.

“That sounds like Deacon,” Damon said, biting back a smile as he finished his drink. “He sees what he wants and goes after it.”

Mia smiled politely, but I could tell she wasn’t amused by his comment. “So you’ve been traveling, Damon? Where have you been?”

Damon loved talking about himself and his adventures, so I took the opportunity to pull Blake out of earshot of the group. “I know what you’re doing, and you can forget about hooking up with my sister. It’s not going to happen.”

“Really?” Blake brought the champagne flute to his lips. “Does she know this? Because I get the distinct impression she’s interested. Very interested.”

“You’re wasting your time. Why do you think she spent so much time in Greece over the past few months?” I replaced my empty glass with a full one when another waiter with a tray passed by. “My parents have already selected the perfect man for her. He’s from a successful family, has a good education, and he’s expressed an interest in moving to America to learn more about my father’s business.”

Blake’s eyes darkened… with anger? “An arranged marriage? You can’t be serious. What the hell is this, the 1900s? Who still does that?”

I lifted a shoulder, pleased by his reaction. He needed to know my innocent and refined sister wasn’t going to be his little plaything. “It’s not uncommon in my culture, especially in families like mine that have to ensure the union will work. They can’t afford a messy divorce that will cost a small fortune and wind up in the headlines.”

“You’re okay with this?” he demanded, a steely edge to his voice. “More importantly, your sister is okay with this? It doesn’t sound like her. Are they forcing her into it?”

No one forced my sister to do anything—she had a mind of her own. But I had no doubt my parents had presented a compelling argument.

“I don’t know much about this guy. She could be attracted to him, feel he would be a good husband and father.”

He turned his back so Tiana couldn’t read his lips. “She’s too young to get married. She needs to wait a while, date some more, and figure out what she wants, not what your parents want for her.”

My parents didn’t care for Blake, and the feeling was mutual. They thought he was an opinionated hothead with no respect for tradition. They were right, but I knew Blake a lot better than they did. He was often a better friend than I deserved. He was honest, trustworthy, and loyal to a fault. He was also brilliant, and his innovative ideas—I had to grudgingly admit—had helped launch and grow our business exponentially over the years. Unfortunately, he liked women as much as, if not more than, I did, but I could hardly fault him for that. It wasn’t a sin. It just meant he wouldn’t get anywhere near my sister.

“That’s her decision, not yours or mine,” I said. “I just wanted you to know the deal before you got any ideas about pursuing her.”

Blake stared me down. “You and I go way back, Starkis. You’re like a brother to me. Is it really such an abhorrent idea—me and your sister?”

“Knowing what you intend to do to her, or should I say with her? Yes, it is.” I didn’t care that I’d offended him. Our relationship was built on brutal honesty, and this subject was no exception. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to have a word with Mia before the show.” I didn’t give my friend a chance to respond before I politely extracted Mia from our group.

She allowed me to lead her to some chairs in the hall of the regal ballroom so we would have more privacy.

“I’m glad you decided to be civil tonight. After the way we left things last night, I wasn’t sure what to expect.” The tense set of her shoulders and the way she laced her fingers against her crossed legs indicated she’d been putting on an act for my family’s benefit. She was still upset with me.

“I may have overreacted,” I admitted. “It was a difficult night and definitely not the right time to discuss… the future.” I didn’t want to discuss marriage or even our engagement yet. I just wanted us to forgive last night’s indiscretions and forget they had ever happened.

“I don’t want to fight with you.” She reached for my hand, her voice soft and low.

“I don’t want that either, sweetheart.” I moved closer and brushed my lips against her ear. “I missed you after you left last night. I never should have let you go.”

“You practically kicked me out.” Her lips lifted at one corner. At least she was amused.

“Yeah, sometimes I act without thinking.” Especially where she was concerned. It was rare for my heart to guide me instead of my head, but it seemed that would be the new norm with Mia. “I am sorry.”

“I’m the one who should be apologizing. After what happened…” She sighed, a look of agony crossing her face. “I still can’t believe I was so impetuous. That’s not at all like me, and then to brush you off the way I did.” She touched my face. “Any woman in her right mind would be flattered by your attention, but I blew you off like the idea of marrying you was offensive. It’s just that…” Her gaze traveled to our joined hands. “I do love you, Deacon. But this is all happening so fast. I’m so young, and I just assumed I’d have more time to figure this stuff out.”

I thought of the man I’d been at her age. If someone had suggested marriage then, I would have run in the opposite direction. “If you need to take it slower, we will. Just promise me you’ll remain open-minded.”

“I will.” She leaned in to kiss my cheek. “I promise.” She said hesitantly, “That comment your brother made about you two sharing everything, he was referring to women, wasn’t he?”

God, would my sordid past never stop haunting me? There were things I hoped Mia would never find out, mainly because I was ashamed to look her in the eye and admit the truth. Sharing women with my brother was one of those issues I would have gladly buried forever, but thanks to my kid brother’s big mouth, I had no choice but to come clean. I couldn’t lie to her.

“Damon and I have similar taste in women,” I said, trying to hedge. “We’ve dated a few of the same girls.”

“Dated… as in slept with?”

“Yes.” Shame wasn’t an emotion I was comfortable with. I rarely apologized for my actions. My attitude had always been, “Take me as I am or leave me,” but I couldn’t risk Mia taking the latter option.

“At the same time?” She was trying not to sound judgmental, but she clearly had no intention of letting it go until she had answers.

“Yes.” I held her hand more tightly, part of me fearing she may withdraw again.

“Meaning?”

“Jesus, Mia, do we have to do this now? Here?” If anyone else had been grilling me that way, I would have told them to mind their own goddamn business. But Mia was my lover, a woman who’d agreed to sex without protection, so she’d earned the right to know about my sexual history.

“I meant what I said, Deacon. I don’t want to fight with you, but if we want a chance at a future together, we have to be honest. We have to feel comfortable enough to ask each other anything. I refuse to let these questions eat away at me while I assume the worst, too afraid to ask you for the truth.”

She was right, but I would have preferred having that conversation while stretched out on my bed with her in my arms instead of under the watchful eyes of hundreds of business associates.

“Fine.” I lowered my voice. No one was within earshot, but I’d learned the hard way to take necessary precautions, especially when the press was around. “My brother and I have hosted parties where we’ve slept with the same women. It wasn’t at the same time and not in the same room. It hasn’t happened in a long time.”

She wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Why would any woman degrade herself that way?”

“You’d be amazed what women will do when there’s a lot of money involved,” I said quietly. “I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but for a lot of women, having a shot with not one but two of the Starkis brothers was kind of like winning the lottery. Sleeping with both of us doubled their chances of winning the big prize.”

“You’re so cynical.” It wasn’t a judgment, just an observation.

“When you’ve been with as many gold diggers as I have, it’s called self-preservation.” It was important for her to understand why I had been reserved in relationships except with her.

“How did you know I wasn’t interested in you because of your money?” she asked.

“You tried to return the gifts I sent you. You said you didn’t want them. That’s when I knew you were different.”

“You were testing me?”

“No, I wanted you to have those things,” I said. “They were beautiful and made me think of you, but a part of me was happy that you didn’t want to accept them. I’ve never been with a woman who’s declined an expensive gift.”

“I felt guilty taking those things from you, especially when I was living with Drew.”

“What did you do with the gifts I gave you?” I asked. “How did you explain them to him?”

“Honestly, he never paid me enough attention to notice whether I was wearing a new dress or piece of jewelry. Half the time, I don’t even think he knew I was in the room.” She took a deep breath, as though she was steeling herself to continue. “That’s why this thing with you is a bit overwhelming for me. I’m not used to being with a man who’s so attentive, so into me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s flattering. It’s just… a lot.”

I smiled at her description. I had been accused of being intimidating on more than one occasion, and I purposefully dominated most situations, so I couldn’t blame her for needing time to adjust to my presence in her life.

“I get that, but you will have to get used to my intense…” I struggled for the right word. Greek was my first language, Greece my homeland, but having been educated primarily in America, I had an excellent command of English. Only Mia left me grasping for a word I couldn’t find to convey my feelings for her. “Attention… because I can’t control the way you make me feel, theia. That makes this as scary for me as it is for you. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have no control.”

She smiled before a look of understanding passed between us. We were both scared, each of us for different reasons, but our desire for each other meant we were willing to take the risk.

“I have to get ready for the show,” she said, wrapping her arms around my neck. “Wish me luck?”

I held her beautiful face, careful not to ruin her flawless makeup. “You know I won’t be able to take my eyes off you. Good luck, baby.”

She giggled. “I like hearing you say that. It sounds so sexy, so out of character. I’m guessing you’ve never been big on pet names or terms of endearment.” She stood and smoothed her dress.

“You’re right.” I ran a finger down the front of her neck. It was bare, making me want to decorate it with an impressive gem to enhance her brilliance. “I guess the proverbial cat is out of the bag.” I glanced at the people crossing through the lobby trying to pretend they weren’t watching us.

“What do you mean?”

“Us. Our relationship. It seems people are on to us.”

She slipped her hands inside my jacket, wrapped her arms around my waist, and drew me close as she tipped her head back to look me in the eye. “I’m sure they’ve seen you being affectionate with women before. They probably think I’m just the flavor of the week.”

I rolled my eyes. “You have no idea how wrong you are. I rarely date. Unless I have to escort a woman to a charity function, I never attend a company event with a woman—and certainly never one of the models working for our company.”

“Really?” She sounded surprised. “You don’t wine and dine the women in your life?”

“Again, at the risk of sounding arrogant”—I ran my hands up and down her arms lightly until, with satisfaction, I felt thrill bumps rise on her skin—“I’ve never had to put much effort into it.”

Her lips twisted into a wry grin. “You must hate that I’m making you work so hard for it.”

“A man with my work ethic understands the value of hard work. Nothing worth having comes easily. This relationship is worth the effort, in my mind. Anything I have to do to make this work, I will. It’s as simple as that.”

Her eyes glowed with affection. “Just for the record, I feel the same way. If anything I said or did last night led you to believe otherwise, I’m sorry.”

“We’re not going to talk about last night again.” I rested her head on my shoulder as my other hand drifted to her lower back. “What happened last night is in the past. I’m only interested in looking to the future. With you.”

***

I was seated at the end of the runway, my brother on one side and Blake on the other, when Damon leaned into whisper, “When you’re done with her, I’ve got dibs.”

“I should kick your ass for telling her we shared women.” I was careful to keep my voice low enough to avoid unwanted attention. “And you can get the idea of sharing Mia out of your head. That’ll never happen.”

“When you’re done with her—”

“That’s just it—I’m never going to be done with her.”

Damon gave me a sidelong glance, obviously trying to gauge my sincerity. “What are you saying?”

I half-listened to the M.C. introduce the various items in our collection, along with the models wearing the pieces, before I said, “That Mia is the one.” I had never made such a claim, so I knew my brother would have no reason to question my intentions.

“Jesus,” he whispered, swiping a hand over his mouth. “I know I’ve been away a while, but you’re like a stranger. Who the hell are you, and what have you done with the selfish, ruthless man-whore who used to occupy my brother’s body?”

I fixed my attention on the models, admiring the beautiful lingerie our loyal customers would rush to buy, but I felt nothing for the taut, tanned bodies displaying them. My brother was right. I had changed. Mia had changed me. “It’s time for me to grow up. You might want to think about doing the same.”

My brother was only three years younger than I, but his immaturity often made me feel as though decades separated us. While we were both womanizers, I’d spent the past twelve years building a successful business. My brother had spent them jet-setting, drinking, partying like a rock star, and making the front page of all the tabloids.

“Let’s not get crazy,” he muttered. “Do Mom and Dad know about Mia?”

“I intend to introduce her to them tomorrow at dinner.” I’d already called my mother and told her I’d invited a guest to dinner. She’d been surprised since I’d never brought a woman home, even during high school or college. I’d always known the one and only girl I would subject to my judgmental parents would be the one I intended to marry.

“You’d better watch the old man,” Damon said, chuckling. “He’s going to stroke out when he sees her. I bet you a hundred bucks he makes a play for her before appetizers.”

Another reason I never brought women home: my father was a letch. He loved beautiful young women, and they loved his billions. My mother had become a master of looking the other way. According to her, Demetrius was a good father, husband, and provider. That was the only thing that mattered to a poor girl from the village whose family hadn’t been able to buy her shoes as a child.

“Demetrius will know in no uncertain terms that she is off-limits. If he touches her, I’ll break his hand.” Father or no, I wouldn’t tolerate him disrespecting Mia or making her uncomfortable. She would be the mother of his grandchildren, and he would treat her with the respect she deserved.

“They’re going to hate that she’s a lingerie model,” Damon pointed out. “Not to mention the fact she’s not Greek.”

My brother was right. I’d considered the possibility my parents would argue that I should look for someone more suitable, but I’d never surrendered to them before, and I wouldn’t start now. I was the only one with the guts to stand up to my father, mainly because I knew he would never disown his firstborn. According to tradition, my son would one day bear his name, and to my father, that was the ultimate symbol of immortality.

“Too bad.” I crossed my arms as Eleni sauntered across the stage.

Miss Eleni Litras was obviously not a traditional Greek girl, but my parents would have liked her if for no other reason than that she understood our cultural idiosyncrasies. Too bad. She wasn’t Mia, and for me, there was no one else.

Eleni was wearing a black corset paired with silky black panties and a black sheer robe hanging off her shoulders. It was one of the outfits they’d selected for Mia that I had promptly discounted. I had to admit that Eleni looked sensational in it.

“Who the hell is that?” my brother asked, slack-jawed as he watched Eleni play the crowd.

“Eleni Litras.” I smiled, waiting for my brother to acknowledge her heritage. “She’s Mia’s best friend.”

“I have to meet her.” Damon looked like I must have the first time I saw Mia’s picture, and the very same words had come to mind.

“Don’t mess with her,” I warned, knowing exactly what he had in mind. Damon changed beautiful women as often as most men changed their socks, and I knew Eleni would be no exception.

“You can’t dangle that in front of me,” Damon said, gesturing to Eleni, “and tell me to back off. That’s like lining up shots in front of an alcoholic and warning him not to drink.”

The analogy made me uncomfortable, mainly because I fit the mold of an addict, but my poison was very different from most.

Chapter Fifteen

Mia

If I had met both Starkis brothers at the same time, I would have been hard-pressed to choose one. Damon was equally attractive and charming, funny, carefree—as spirited as Deacon—but they were very different. While my man was gorgeous and captivating, he was intense, bordering on frightening. I suspected his brother would have been just as dangerous to an unsuspecting woman’s heart, but he would have drawn her in before she even knew what had hit her.

That was what I feared may be happening to Eleni as I watched the two interact. Normally, I wouldn’t have worried about my man-eater, but I feared she may never have encountered the likes of Damon Starkis. Some may have said being played by the master was her comeuppance for breaking so many hearts over the years, but I loved her and didn’t want to see her get hurt.

“I’m not sure I like this,” I said to Deacon as I turned my back on my friend and my lover’s brother. “It seems like they would be a bit like a volcano and tornado coming together.”

Deacon chuckled. “I have a feeling you’re right.”

“So what will we do about it?”

“I warned my brother to back off,” he said, sipping his drink. “Trouble is he doesn’t take orders from me or anyone else. Maybe you’d have better luck with Eleni?”

Once Eleni had made up her mind about something, it was nearly impossible for anyone to change it. Still, I had to try to talk some sense into her before it was too late. If Deacon and I went the distance, having my best friend and his brother despise each other would make holidays at our house painfully uncomfortable.

“I’ll do my best,” I whispered. “But with this one, I can’t make any promises.” I turned, walked up to them, and smiled sweetly at Damon as I linked arms with my best friend. “Forgive me, Damon. I have to steal her away for a few minutes. Girl talk.”

“Let me refresh your drinks while you’re gone,” Damon offered, taking Eleni’s empty champagne flute.

“Mia won’t need another,” Deacon said quickly. “We’ll be heading out soon.” He gave Eleni a pointed look. “Can we drop you off on our way home?”

Before Eleni could respond, Damon interjected. “No need. I can take her home.”

“We have Barry tonight,” Deacon reminded him. “And you’re not in any condition to drive. We’ll drop you off first.”

Watching the two of them interact was a bit like watching a tennis match. Eleni’s and my heads snapped back and forth, waiting to see who would be victorious.

“No need,” Damon said with a wave. “I came with Tiana. We used her driver, and I heard her say Blake’s taking her home.”

Deacon grimaced before muttering, “What the hell is it with you two? Do I need to hire a full-time babysitter?”

I ushered Eleni away from the men. It would be best to let them figure it out on their own. Instead of guiding my friend toward the ladies’ room, I decided to get a breath of fresh air. There were a few smokers lingering by the door when we went outside, most of them men. Their eyes traveled the lengths of our bodies, making me uneasy.

“Let’s grab that bench.” I pointed at a single bench in the midst of a circle of flowers. “We need to talk.”

“What’s got you so uptight?” Eleni asked, trying to break free of my grip. “Did you and Deacon get into it again? I know that guy thinks he’s untouchable, but I swear, if he did anything to hurt you—”

“It’s not Deacon.” I sat on the bench as she claimed the spot beside me. I took her hands, clasping them tightly. I knew she’d had a few drinks after the show and may not be thinking too clearly, so I had to make my point slowly and carefully. “It’s Damon I’m worried about. And you.”

Eleni frowned as though she was having difficulty following my train of thought. “Deacon’s brother? What about him?”

“He’s into you, El. Don’t pretend you couldn’t tell.”

She was used to men hitting on her, but not even she could ignore the attention of a billionaire playboy who looked like a cover model. She giggled. “So what? Maybe I’ll take him home. Maybe I won’t. The night is young.”

“That’s just it. He’s not the kind of guy you can set a fire under without getting burned.”

“What do you mean?”

I let out a harsh sigh, wishing she were sober so she could appreciate the severity of my warning. “Damon just isn’t the kind of guy you want to mess with. He’s… dangerous.” While Deacon had only divulged snippets about his younger brother, I knew they were as similar and dissimilar as two men could be. I sensed they shared a penchant for women, but Deacon was a straight shooter. I got the feeling Damon got a rush from playing games.

“Kind of like your man?” Eleni snorted. “That didn’t stop you.”

“Damon is different,” I said, weighing my words. I didn’t want to bad-mouth Damon without all the facts, but I had to trust my instincts, not to mention Deacon’s blatant warning. “He travels a lot.”

“So?” Eleni was getting impatient and wanted to get back inside, either to Damon or one of the many other men who’d been flirting with her all night.

“He could be here today, gone tomorrow.”

“Who cares?” She shook her head, amusement teasing her lips. “You know me, girl. I don’t do relationships. If you’re trying to scare me off by telling me he’s a player, you’d better find a different strategy because that doesn’t do it.”

I tried to think of something that would dissuade her from getting mixed up with a man I somehow knew could ruin her. “He implied that he wanted to share me with Deacon.”

Her jaw dropped. That got her attention. “He actually said that?”

“Not in so many words, but he definitely implied it.” I stroked her hand. She didn’t look disappointed or particularly appalled. I was usually good at reading her, but this time, her eyes gave away nothing. “Deacon said they’d”—I swallowed—“shared women before. That may be what he has in mind for you. I know that’s not what you want. Trust me, if you’re looking for a little fun, look elsewhere. There are lots of good-looking guys in there who would kill to go out with you.”

“I love you for worrying about me,” she said, leaning in to kiss my cheek. “But you don’t have to. I know exactly how I intend to play him, and if anyone’s getting burned, I can promise you it won’t be me.”

I watched my friend walk away, thinking I wished I kept a fire extinguisher on hand. I would need one when this thing exploded.

***

Barry was driving us back to Deacon’s house, and we’d left the others to make their own arrangements. Before we left, I’d noticed Eleni standing in a secluded corner, chatting up one of the male models while Damon glared at them from across the room. Maybe she’d decided to heed my advice after all. I hoped so.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Deacon whispered as he massaged my scalp with his strong fingers.

“I was just thinking about Damon and Eleni. I hope I got through to her. I have a bad feeling about those two together.”

“I noticed Jordan kiss her,” Deacon said, referring to the model I’d seen her talking to. “My brother noticed it too.” He chuckled. “I’m pretty sure steam came out of his ears. I can’t say I’ve ever seen him jealous.”

“Has he ever had a serious relationship?” I asked, hoping to glean more information I could pass on to Eleni to further dissuade her.

“No, Damon doesn’t do relationships. Of course, people would have said the same thing about me before I met you.”

I tipped my head back so I could look into his eyes. “What are you saying? That you think Eleni could be the woman to change your brother?”

“God, no!” Deacon laughed at the absurdity of that notion. “Damon doesn’t want to change. He loves his life exactly as it is. Different woman every night and no strings attached.”

“I guess Eleni is kind of like that too,” I admitted. “Not that she sleeps with different men every night. She’s selective about who she sleeps with, but she likes to have fun, and she doesn’t do relationships.”

“So maybe they’re perfect for each other.”

“I don’t think so.” I couldn’t ignore the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, the same one I’d had before I got the call that my father had been rushed to the hospital after having a heart attack. “I think it would be best for everyone if they just kept their distance.”

“You’re probably right, but they’re adults, sweetheart. They’re going to do what they want, regardless of what we say.”

“Yet you still seem determined to stand firmly between your best friend and sister.”

Deacon hadn’t said anything about that pairing, but I could tell by his body language when they were nearby that he was uncomfortable with the idea of them getting too close.

“That’s different,” he said tightly.

“How?”

“Eleni knows the score. My sister is… innocent. She’s traditional. She’s something of a free spirit, but at the end of the day, she would never do anything to disappoint my parents.”

“How would hooking up with Blake disappoint your parents?”

He cringed at the term “hooking up,” making me smile. I’d had a chance to chat with Tiana and didn’t think she was nearly as naïve and innocent as her overprotective big brothers would have liked to believe.

“My parents don’t care for Blake, and the feeling is mutual.”

“Really?” That surprised me. While I didn’t know Blake well, I’d only heard good things about him. All of the employees at Alabaster’s seemed to like and respect him. Besides, he was Deacon’s best friend, so that had to count for something. “Why?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, he can be an arrogant ass.” He grinned. “So is my old man. Put the two of them in a room together, both posturing for dominance, and it can get ugly.”

I laughed, trying to imagine that. While I’d never met Deacon’s father, I’d heard he was a force of nature. I had to admire Blake for standing up to him. I imagined that was something few people outside the Starkis family had the nerve to do.

I settled deeper into Deacon’s arms. I wanted to know everything about him and the people who meant the most to him. “What’s Blake’s story?”

“He comes from old money, something I think my father secretly resents. My father’s family were farmers. He came here with three hundred dollars in his pocket, unable to speak the language, and got a job as a short-order cook while he worked his way through school.”

I’d read a few articles about the elusive billionaire, so I had some knowledge of his rags-to-riches story, but it was interesting to hear it from his son’s perspective. “That’s incredible, given what he’s achieved.”

“Yeah, it is. For that, I respect him a great deal.”

I had the feeling there was an underlying message in Deacon’s words, but I wasn’t sure it was the time or place to probe deeper. “He made his fortune in steel, didn’t he?”

“Mmmm hmmm.” Deacon let my silky waves slide through his fingers. “He partnered with a man who knew the industry, and they built a successful business together. Dad sold his share, mainly because he wanted to call his own shots, and he was out of commission for a year because he’d signed a non-compete contract. So he went back to Greece to marry my mother and formulate a new plan. I was also born that year, in the old country.”

“When did he come back to America?”

“He traveled back and forth for ten years.”

I was surprised. “You mean your family didn’t live together while you were growing up?”

“No, we didn’t move to the States full-time until I was thirteen.”

“Wow.” I couldn’t imagine not living under the same roof as my father. While he’d been difficult at times, he was still my father, and I loved that my parents had had the perseverance to survive the bad times together. “So you were all born there?”

“We were.” He kissed the top of my head. “Damon and Tiana are drawn back to Greece. They still see the village as their home. They were younger than I was when we left, but it seems that is where their hearts are.”

“But you feel differently?” I wondered whether he would ever have the desire to move back home.

“This is my home now. It is where I want to be, especially now that I’ve found you.”

I smiled, kissing the arm he had wrapped around my neck. “You were telling me about Blake, the reasons your family doesn’t care for him.”

“Ah, yes.” He brought the bottle of water he’d opened when we’d gotten into the limo to my lips before taking a sip himself. “Like I said, Blake comes from very old money. His family made it big in oil generations ago. In Texas.” He laughed. “It’s true what they say: everything is bigger in Texas, and in Blake’s case, that goes for his ego too.”

I smiled at the jibe. I had no doubt they enjoyed ribbing each other, and judging by what little I knew of Blake, he was probably one of the few who could match wits with my man. “How did you two meet?”

“In college. We were both studying business at Harvard.”

“Ivy League men,” I said, grinning. “Why am I not surprised?”

“We became fast friends, which is surprising given how different our upbringings were. But Blake encouraged me to start Alabaster’s with private funding, instead of using my family’s money. I owe him a huge debt of gratitude for that. Making my own way, building something with my own two hands, changed me.”

“Blake owns part of the company, doesn’t he?”

“Twenty-five percent. He was one of my initial investors.” Deacon laughed. “I bought out all the others, but that stubborn bastard refused to sell. I think he enjoys being a pain in my ass. But honestly, I couldn’t imagine doing this without him. He’s smart as hell, creative, innovative, daring…” He seemed to search for the words to help me see his best friend the way he did. “But most importantly, he would take a bullet for me. That’s the mark of a great partner.”

I smiled, infinitely grateful my man had someone he could rely on the way I’d come to rely on Eleni. She was someone who would always have my back. “Yet you don’t like the idea of him and your sister as a couple? Why?”

“As a friend and partner, I couldn’t ask for anyone better. As a brother-in-law, I couldn’t ask for anyone worse.”

“What do you mean?” I twisted to face him.

“The guy’s a pig!”

I covered my mouth and burst out laughing. After Deacon’s praise, the insult came as a shock. Though with Deacon, nothing should have surprised me. He was delightfully unpredictable, and he always kept me guessing about what he would say or do next.

“Aren’t you exaggerating?”

“No!” He shook his head. “Everything you heard about me… let’s just say Blake manages to keep his private life private, but the women in his life quickly learn the deal.”

I gaped at him, dying to know more. Was he hoping to get Tiana to take a walk on the wild side with him? Was that why Deacon was so opposed to their relationship? “Does Tiana know this?”

Color rose in Deacon’s cheeks. “No! What the hell am I supposed to say to her? ‘My best friend is a player who wants to corrupt you and steal your innocence. That’s why I want you to stay the hell away from him’?”

I tried to hide my amusement. Clearly he’d spent countless hours considering his options and had decided the only thing he could do was warn Blake to keep his distance. But judging by the way Tiana and Blake had been dancing, sharing intimate glances and touches, I guessed Blake wasn’t heeding his warning. My poor psycho. He was so used to dominating his world and everyone in it, and now everything was spiraling out of his control. How would he cope?

Chapter Sixteen

Deacon

Sharing so much of my life story with Mia in the limo made me feel even closer to her. She hadn’t handed down judgment over my family or best friend. She’d just listened, making me feel as though my family wasn’t quite as messed up as I’d always assumed.

She was an innocent preacher’s daughter from a small town. Her brother was a decorated hero who fought for his country. A part of me had feared how she would react when she found out the truth about the people who made up my inner circle. Would she be appalled? Would she think less of me? But it hadn’t fazed her, and that was what I had been looking for: unconditional love and acceptance from a woman who saw the real me and loved me in spite of my obvious flaws.

We were sharing a shower. My hands glided over her smooth skin before grabbing the shampoo bottle to wash the styling products from her hair. As much as I loved seeing her all done up, I liked her au natural even better, the bared and unmasked version few got to see.

She moaned softly as my hands worked the lather through her long tresses, gently rubbing her scalp. No way could I be in a hot, misty, confined space with her all slick and slippery and not be hard as stone. After last night, I needed to feel close to her.

We stroked each other’s bodies, kissing passionately. She was primed and ready for sex, but I wanted every experience with me to be more incredible than the last, and that meant drawing it out until neither of us could stand it another second.

“You have to let go,” I whispered, feeling the sudden tension in her body as she tried to find her footing on the slippery floor. “You have to trust that I will make this good for you. For both of us.”

She moaned, reaching back to encircle my neck with her arm. “I want you.”

Knowing she trusted me with her body and her heart meant everything to me. No other accomplishment, no matter the financial reward attached to it, had ever felt better. “I will make you feel things you’ve never felt before, take you places you’ve never dreamed of going.” I understood the sexual heights one could reach, but I knew it would be different with Mia. She would make me feel things I’d never thought I could feel.

“Hmmm….”

I recognized her soft exhalation as an act of surrender. Closing my eyes, I slipped my finger through her wet folds. When she moaned restlessly and rolled her hips, I gave her more of what she wanted.

“Brace your hands on the wall,” I instructed.

Parting her legs slightly, she did as she was told, rocking back and forth on her toes as she arched her back.

“Oh God, yes…” She groaned, a baleful sound from deep within. “More. I need more, Deacon.”

“Are you ready?” I was. God, I was so ready.

“Yes. Please. Now.”

I positioned myself behind her. Gripping her waist, I encouraged her to bend slightly and arch her back as she placed her hands on the shower bench in front of her. She was spread wide, her body glistening from the water. She was as turned on as I’d ever seen her, practically crawling out of her skin.

“We’re going to take this nice and slow,” I said, though I wasn’t sure if I was saying it to reassure her or to remind myself that was how it had to be. I wanted to make up for last night, to make her feel cherished, to appreciate her body the way I should have the first time we’d made love.

Calling on every ounce of self-control I possessed, I inched in. A demon was still buried inside me, screaming at me to take her hard and fast, but I willfully ignored it. The pace was grueling for me. I was impatient, used to hedonistic gratification, but our joining was an important lesson in mutual gratification, something I would have to master to keep Mia happy.

I remained still inside her, throbbing mercilessly as I waited for her to adjust. “How does that feel?”

“Incredible.”

The very word I would have chosen. “I want to take it slow. Just relax.” I flattened my palm across her stomach, kissing her neck as I gently thrust in and out.

“Oh, that…” Her fists clenched on the bench as she stood on her toes. “It’s so… good.”

I smiled at her broken declaration. I knew how hard it was to find words while being a slave to the sensations ricocheting through your body, demanding all your focus and attention. My climax built quickly as she subconsciously milked me, making it impossible for me to suppress the rush threatening to overtake me.

I closed my eyes as I manipulated the pearl of nerves with short, fast strokes. “Now!” I didn’t know how much longer I could hold on, and I was determined to bring her to climax before I surrendered to my own.

“Yeeessss….” she cried, flattening her hands on the bench. “Oh God, Deacon.”

I pulled out quickly and watched the eruption. She was mine, and seeing the evidence of it in such a carnal display made me wish I could take her all over again. I moaned as the water rinsed her clean. “You are so hot.”

She gave me a saucy grin over her shoulder. “You’re pretty hot yourself, boss.”

***

I was uneasy on the drive to my parents’ house, mainly because I knew my father took pleasure in making people uncomfortable. He believed others should be intimidated by him and wasn’t satisfied unless they were.

When Mia and I arrived, we got the introductions out of the way, and the family gathered in the living room for cocktails.

My father began his inquisition. “Tell me about yourself, Mia.”

He’d barely taken his eyes off her cleavage since she’d walked in the door. As soon as I got him alone, I’d let him know how I felt about him ogling my girlfriend, but I wouldn’t embarrass Mia or my mother by doing it publicly.

“Well,” she said before sipping her chardonnay, “as you probably already know, I work for your son as a model.”

“I did know that.”

Demetrius eyed me critically. He’d always warned me against getting mixed up with the women whose paychecks I signed, and I always told him to mind his own business, that I was perfectly capable of managing my own affairs.

“How long have you been modeling?” He crossed his legs as he eased back in his armchair.

Mia smiled politely. “Since I was sixteen. My best friend, Eleni, and I did some modeling in our hometown. We enjoyed it, so we pleaded with our parents to bring us to the city. We were lucky enough to get signed with a top agency and have both been working steadily ever since.”

My mother clucked her tongue in disapproval. “So young to be working. You were just a baby.”

Before Mia could defend her decision, Damon cut in. “I had no idea you and Eleni had known each other so long, Mia. I’m sure you could tell me some stories about—”

Demetrius waved, cutting Damon off mid-sentence. That was the way it was in my family. Everyone always talked over each other or cut each other off when they believed they had something more important to add to the conversation.

“How long have you been working for Alabaster’s?” Demetrius asked.

“Less than six months,” I said, sitting on the arm of Mia’s chair and gliding my hand down her back. She was wearing a black sundress that fell to the ground in soft waves and flat gold sandals with her hair up to show off the gold-and-diamond earrings I had given her. “But it feels like I’ve known her forever.”

“I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a model,” Tiana said, smiling at Mia. “It must be fun, getting to dress up in fabulous clothes and have your hair and makeup done by some of the best makeup artists in the business.”

Demetrius rolled his eyes. “How is that different from your life, Tiana?”

Tiana frowned. “Mia does something she enjoys, something she’s proud of, and she’s rewarded for it, both financially and…”

I could tell my sister was choosing her words carefully, which meant I probably wouldn’t like them.

She stole a quick glance at me. “People admire her beauty and appreciate her… assets.”

Demetrius folded his arms over his broad chest after setting his glass down beside him. “If you’re implying you would like to objectify yourself by posing half-naked in your brother’s catalogue, you can forget it. That will never happen.”

It wasn’t the first time Tiana had proposed the idea of modeling for Alabaster’s. Had she been a stranger to me, I would have gladly put her on the cover wearing something provocative, but she was my sister. In this one instance, I agreed with my father. Accepting the images of my girlfriend in sultry poses wearing seductive clothes was difficult enough. No way would I condone my sister doing that.

“Unfortunately, I have to agree with Demi on this one, sis,” I said, eliciting a scowl from Tiana. “Stick to what you know best—art.”

“Modeling is a form of artistic expression,” Tiana said, pouting. “Tell them, Mia.”

Mia looked at me, appearing disturbed I had agreed with my father. “I had no idea you had so little regard for models, Deacon. We’re a big part of the reason for your success, in case you’ve forgotten.”

For the first time in as long as I could remember, my family fell silent. They were probably in shock that a woman had the gall to openly challenge me in front of them.

“Alabaster’s is a success because of our entire team,” I said, hedging. “Everyone from design to production. Of course, models are a part of that equation.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Without the right models, your clothes are lifeless. They have no appeal. Women want to see other women wearing the clothes, to see how great they can look in them. We sell your clothes. Make no mistake about that.”

I was about to respond when my father said, “You seem to have a distorted view of your own importance, young lady. Models are interchangeable. A successful business model will withstand the test of time.”

Mia closed her hand around her glass as she leaned forward, looking Demi in the eye. “With all due respect, sir, there’s a reason the public connects with certain models. There are millions of beautiful women in the world, but very few have what it takes to grace the pages of major magazines and sell the products people want to buy. It’s a cutthroat business, and to make it, you have to work hard and believe in yourself.”

His lips quirked as he regarded Mia carefully. I saw something in his eyes that was rare, especially when he looked at a woman: respect.

“You may be right,” Demi said, inclining his head. “I understand it is a very competitive business, and you must have thick skin to survive. That is something we have in common, Mia. Determination. Tenacity.”

I shared a look with my brother. He was flattering her because he was hoping to get into her pants. Not a chance in hell.

“Do you apply that same determination to everything in your life, Mia?” my mother asked, throwing a not-so-subtle glance in my direction. “Is that how you and my son met? Your sheer will?”

Mia faked a smile. “Actually, Mrs. Starkis, your son reached out to me. He was pleased with the print work I’d done for the catalogue and emailed me to praise my efforts.”

“Smooth,” Damon said, coughing behind his hand.

“Is that so?” My mother raised an eyebrow at me. “I didn’t realize you worked so closely with the models, son.”

“Oh, yeah.” Damon grinned at me before he turned his attention to our mother. “He’s got his hand in just about every… thing that goes on there.”

I knew he’d let it hang on purpose to make me question whether he’d have the nerve to say everyone. If he’d been that crass, I would have had to kill him.

“Mia, I would love to show you the grounds before dinner.” Demi stood and crooked his arm, offering it to Mia. “Shall we?”

Seeming flattered by the attention, she said, “I’d love to, Mr. Starkis. Thank you.”

“Ah, but you must call me Demi,” he said, patting her hand. “All my friends do.”

I wanted to remind him that Mia would never be his friend. She would be his daughter-in-law, the mother of his grandchildren, a part of his family—but never his friend. I was tempted to tell Demi that I would show Mia the grounds, but that would have made me seem jealous of my own father. That would have been preposterous, if not for the fact I knew he would make a play for her. I was certain she would put him in his place as effortlessly as she had when he’d questioned her about her career though.

Once they left the room, my mother stood. “If you will excuse me, I am going to check on dinner.” She consulted her diamond watch. “I asked them to serve it promptly at seven o’clock. I’d like to make sure things are on schedule.”

Tiana waited until Mother left the room before she said, “I really like Mia, Deacon.” Her dark eyes glittered with amusement. “Did you see the way she stood up to Daddy?”

“Hmmm, he loved every minute of it,” Damon said. “If she had been a guy, instead of a gorgeous woman, challenging him that way, he would have cut her down to size.”

Damon was right. I hated to think we were both like Demetrius in that regard, but any bystander would have likely noted the similarities between the Starkis men.

“I’m not worried. Mia can handle herself with the old man.”

Tiana looked at me sternly. “Why do you always do that?”

“Do what?” I swirled the ice cubes around in the bottom of my tumbler. I knew what she was upset about. We’d had this discussion countless times, so I didn’t know why she believed I would suddenly change my position.

“Discount the possibility of me modeling for your company.”

“First of all, you’re not a model.” I finished my drink and set it on the low walnut table in the center of the formal living room. “Second of all, you’re my sister. No man wants to see his baby sister posing half-naked for—”

“Does Mia have a brother?”

“Excuse me?” I asked, knowing she wouldn’t let me evade that question.

“You heard me. Does she have a brother?”

“Yes.”

“How does he feel about her modeling for Alabaster’s?”

I thought about my brief conversation with Chad at the restaurant. “He’s not thrilled about it. I assured him I would personally oversee Mia’s wardrobe selection from now on.”

“You can’t do that!”

Tiana sounded as outraged as I knew Mia would be when I finally broke the news to her that her days of modeling lingerie were behind her.

“It’s her decision whether or not she’s comfortable modeling lingerie, not yours.”

“Actually, it is my decision,” I said smugly. “I own the company, which means I get to decide who models what. From now on, Mia will model clothes, fitness wear, and outerwear.”

“Does she know that?” Damon asked, looking amused.

“We’ve touched on the subject,” I said tentatively. “We’ve yet to work out the specifics of our new arrangement.”

“Good luck with that.” Damon chuckled. “She’s going to let you have it when you try to tell her what she can and can’t wear.”

I thought of our impending shopping trip. I’d forgotten to call my personal shopper and stylist to make the arrangements. I would have to take care of that right away. “We’ll compromise.”

“By that, do you mean you’ll let her have whatever she wants as long as it has your stamp of approval?” Tiana asked.

“Pretty much.” I shared a smile with my brother.

“You’re going to lose her,” Tiana said, wiping the smile right off my face.

“Pardon me?” My tone suggested she would be wise to recant her statement.

“A woman like her won’t allow you to run her life, Deacon. You saw the way she stood up to our father. Most people are shaking in their boots when they meet the great Demetrius Starkis—but not her. And she won’t bend to your will either. If you don’t treat her like an equal partner with a mind of her own, you will lose her.” She stood and crossed the room before pausing in the doorway to face me. “You have a chance with an amazing woman who obviously loves you. Don’t disrespect her by assuming you have the right to make her decisions for her. You don’t.”

I stared at the door my sister had walked through, stunned by her outburst. “What the hell was that?”

Damon raised a glass to Tiana’s exit. “I think she just put the almighty Deacon Starkis firmly in his place. It is clearly not a good night for the Starkis men.”

“Just wait, smartass,” I muttered. “Your turn is coming.”

Chapter Seventeen

Mia

I had to admit, in spite of my initial trepidation about meeting Demi, he was a gracious and entertaining host.

“If you ever tire of my son,” he said, grasping my leg, “you must call me.”

I smirked as I peeled his hand off my thigh. “That won’t happen any time soon.”

“Any time soon or at all?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“Let’s just say things are getting serious,” I said, trying to play it safe. I didn’t want to downplay our relationship, but I wasn’t sure what, if anything, Deacon had told them about us. “But none of us has a crystal ball, now do we?”

His dark eyes hardened, any trace of humor receding. “Just so you understand, divorce is not an option. No one in my family has ever divorced. Marriage is forever—there is no way out.”

I thought about what I had heard about him, both from his son and the media. He was a womanizer who had married a woman willing to look the other way. I wasn’t cut from the same cloth as Vaso Starkis. If Deacon ever cheated on me, he would be history, with or without the marriage license.

“I come from a religious family, Demi.” I still had trouble wrapping my mouth around that, though he had insisted we drop the formalities. “My father is a minister, and my parents have always instilled in me the importance of living up to my commitments.”

“I am surprised your father would approve of you living with a man out of wedlock.”

I didn’t know why I was surprised he knew about Drew. There was probably little the man didn’t know about those close to his family. “I wouldn’t say he approved of it, but I’m an adult. I can make my own decisions.” I looked him in the eye. “How did you know about Drew?”

He smiled. “I have my ways.”

“Hmm, I’m sure you do.” I tapped his forearm. “Just so you know, if there’s anything you want to know about me, all you have to do is ask. I have nothing to hide.”

“Okay, what are your intentions regarding my son?”

I laughed before shaking my head. “That sounds like a question my father would ask Deacon. I never expected it from you.”

“My son has always been very strong-willed, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

“Kind of hard to miss that.”

“Yes.” Demi shook his head. “He’s always been that way, from the time he was a small boy. My other children feared me, but not Deacon. He always challenged me. It aggravated me to no end at times, but I grew to respect him because of it. He is one of the few people unafraid to challenge me.”

“And one of the few people you respect.” I could tell from the way Demi had looked at his eldest son earlier, as though he was looking for Deacon’s input.

“You are correct.” He shot me a sidelong glance. “And very perceptive.”

“People are fascinating to watch, especially men like you and your son. I have to admit I’ve never met anyone quite like you.”

“I shall take that as a compliment.”

“It was intended as one.” I had no desire to butter him up—I sensed he got enough of that from everyone else in his life. I was merely being honest about how I saw things.

“You didn’t really answer my question about whether you are hoping to have a future with Deacon.”

I smiled. “I’m cautiously optimistic. I think beneath that threatening façade, there’s a softer, gentler side to him. He clearly loves his family, which leads me to believe he would be a good husband and father someday.”

“He cannot wait too long,” he said sternly. “I am not getting any younger. I want a grandson.”

“Or a granddaughter.” My lips twitched in amusement. I knew he’d said exactly what he meant. He was old school. He wanted a boy to carry on the family name.

“One or two of each would be nice,” Demi said, his white teeth flashing, a sharp contrast against his dark skin.

I had a feeling his smiles were rare and fleeting, so I appreciated it before it faded. I liked that I’d had made this stoic man smile, because I had a feeling he would make me smile a lot in the coming years. “You have three children, Demi. I’m sure you will see many grandchildren.”

“Do you like children?”

“Very much.”

“Good, good.” He patted my knee. “It is too bad you are not Greek. It seems that is your only fault.”

I laughed at his candor. “Ah, but that cannot be helped. You’ll have to take me as I am.”

“Indeed I will.” He clapped. “No worries, we will teach you our customs, our culture.” He put his arm around my shoulders and squeezed gently. “You will become one of us.”

The way he said that made me feel as though I was already one of them. I’d never expected to feel so close to Deacon’s family, especially not the imposing patriarch, but after only a few hours, I felt as if I had known him for years.

“Stop monopolizing her, Daddy,” Tiana chided as she walked up, shaking her finger at her father. “It’s my turn.”

“Very well,” he said, standing. Bowing slightly at the waist, he took my hand and kissed it, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “I have enjoyed our time together, Mia. Now I shall go and tell my son I intend to steal you away from him.”

I smiled, knowing he would say exactly that. Deacon would not be nearly as amused by the joke as I was. “Behave yourself, Demi. Don’t stir up any trouble.”

“I will not make promises I cannot keep,” he said, chuckling as he went inside.

I laughed as my eyes met Tiana’s. “Your father is quite a character.”

“Many have said a tyrant.” She sat on the cushioned bench beside me. “But he likes you. That is obvious. He is good to the people he likes, even better to those he respects.”

I heard a wistfulness in her voice that made me realize she wished her father respected her.

“It’s hard to convince your parents you’re not a little girl anymore, isn’t it?” I thought about my own situation. My father was loving but very judgmental. He believed it was his job to interpret and enforce the word of God, and he believed those who sinned would be punished. That was why he’d punished me so harshly when I was a child, because he’d had to “teach me a lesson.”

“You’re so right.” She sighed. “But it’s not just my parents. I am surrounded by domineering men who all feel they know what is best for me, but they don’t seem to care what I think is best for me.”

“And what do you think is best for you?”

Tiana seemed like a kindred spirit. Even though we’d grown up worlds apart, I hoped we could be friends.

“I love art,” she said as though she’d become accustomed to weighing her words carefully before speaking. “That’s why I chose to get a master’s degree in fine arts. I traveled the world to visit some amazing places as I learned about what inspired the masters.”

“That sounds exciting.” I wondered what it would be like to live her life. Tiana could obviously go anywhere or do anything she chose, as long as it met with her family’s approval. I wasn’t sure if, given the choice, I would have traded places with her. There was a sadness in her eyes, a restless disconnect that came from her inability to express herself.

“It was.” She looked out over the expansive grounds before settling her gaze on the circle of flourishing blooms around the stone patio. “My father is a renowned art collector. His collection contains some of the most sought-after pieces in the world.”

“He sparked your interest?” I asked, wondering if he’d forced her to share his interests.

“You could say that.” She licked her lips. “My father’s interests and investments are diverse. I know he always assumed I would oversee that part of his business.”

“Is that what you want?” I wanted her to feel comfortable enough to confide in me without thinking I was nosy.

She nodded. “I always believed it was. It still is, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to explore my other interests as well.”

“That seems reasonable,” I said. “What do you like to do for fun?”

She smiled, a captivating smile that lit up her beautiful face. While all three of the Starkis offspring shared the same dark coloring, Tiana had something almost ethereal. Perhaps it was the sweetness and innocence her brothers lacked that made her less intimidating. In spite of her extreme wealth, she seemed down-to-earth and approachable—qualities I was certain made her extremely popular with the opposite sex.

“I love to dance,” she said as her eyes glazed over.

She’d traveled somewhere else, perhaps into her memories of being in the studio. She had a dancer’s body. She was very slim and petite, but like me, she had been cursed, or blessed, with large breasts she couldn’t hide behind her stylish-yet-conservative clothes.

“I’ve been dancing since I was a little girl. Jazz, tap, ballet—just about any type of dance.”

“Do you still dance?”

“When I can.” She sat back, clasping her hands over her crossed legs. “I am very busy with my father’s business and charitable work. There is not much time for fun.”

“What else do you enjoy doing?” I wondered if we truly had enough in common to bond as friends. One day she might be my sister-in-law, and I would love to be friends first.

“I love going to concerts.” She giggled. “Rock concerts—the louder, the better. It’s one of the rare times I get to let my hair down.”

“We’ll have to go to a concert together sometime,” I said, smiling.

“I’d like that.”

“Can I ask you a question?” I was prying, but the curiosity was killing me. “You and Blake…?”

She looked momentarily stunned but quickly recovered, shaking her head. “There is nothing between us.” She smoothed a hand over her long jade dress. “We are too different to be compatible.”

“Sometimes opposites attract. Look at me and Deacon.”

“You don’t understand.” A slight smile curved her full lips. “My family does not approve of Blake. They think he is pompous and arrogant.”

“Sounds like someone else I know,” I said, grinning. Of course that description applied to both of her brothers and her father.

“You’re right, of course. But Blake and I are from very different worlds. He doesn’t understand mine, and I don’t understand his.”

“But the chemistry between the two of you is undeniable.” I’d come this far, so I might as well say exactly what was on my mind. I felt a twinge of guilt over what Deacon had said about Blake’s sexual appetite, but I believed Tiana was a lot stronger than her brother gave her credit for. If Blake proposed something she wasn’t interested in, she would simply tell him to look elsewhere.

Her eyes danced with excitement. “He is a very sexy man. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t imagined what it would be like to be with him, but it can never be.”

“Why not?” I felt frustrated on her behalf. I knew what it was like to live to please your parents, but deciding I wouldn’t try to live up to their unrealistic expectations anymore had given me a sense of freedom I’d never had, and I wanted the same for Tiana. “You’re both young and single. If you’re attracted to each other, you should go for it.”

She patted my hand as if she were a wise old aunt. “You don’t understand. My parents have already found someone they think would be perfect for me. I spent time with him when I was in Greece last month. He is… a nice man. We are quite compatible.”

I gave an exaggerated yawn, tapping my hand against my mouth. “Borrriiiinngg.”

She wrinkled her pert little nose, trying to keep a straight face. “You don’t understand.”

“I understand that you’re a gorgeous, sexy young woman. You should be having fun and living life, not thinking about finding a life partner who’s suitable for your parents. Think about what you want.” I was overstepping, and Deacon would not have been pleased if he knew I was encouraging her to act on her attraction to his best friend, but I didn’t care. I was going to say my piece whether my sexy psycho liked it or not.

“There are certain… expectations,” Tiana said, twisting her hands. “My parents expect me to marry a certain type of man.”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-six.”

“Give it five years. Then think about finding the man of your dreams. In the meantime, just have fun.”

Her lips twisted in amusement. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-three.”

“Hmmm, does my brother know he will have to wait eight years to make you his wife? I have to warn you Deacon is not a patient man.”

I raised my hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, I get the point.” I reached for her hand and locked eyes with her. “I like you, Tiana. I don’t want to see you make a decision that makes you unhappy. That’s all. Feel free to tell me to mind my own business any time.”

“Thank you.” She leaned in to give me an impulsive hug. “Thank you for the advice and your concern. I promise I’ll think about what you said.”

“Anytime you need to talk, call me, okay?” I sensed that while Tiana may have a large social circle, her friends were probably trying to live up to the same unrealistic expectations she was, making it difficult for them to understand her need to shed the shackles of propriety, so to speak.

“I’ll do that.”

***

Eleni and I were at work the next day, preparing for a fitting, when she asked, “So Deacon’s brother is persistent, huh?”

Uh oh. I didn’t like the sound of that. “What do you mean?”

“He’s called, like, three or four times since the party.”

I looked at her in the mirror as Barbara pinned the hem of my black dress. “Have you talked to him?”

“No.” Eleni shook her head as she admired her manicure. She’d just come from a half-day at the spa and was rubbing it in because I’d had to go to the gym to work off last night’s dinner instead of joining her as planned. “I thought about what you said and figured you were right. I have enough hassles in my life. I don’t need to add a clingy man to the mix.”

Imagining Damon being clingy was difficult, but so many calls in just a few days begged the question: what was he after? Aside from the obvious.

“I’m glad you took my advice for once. Getting mixed up with Deacon’s brother would be a bad idea.”

Damon had tried to corner me after dinner to ask about my best friend, but I’d politely told him he was wasting his time. I’d explained that from what I knew about him, he and Eleni were cut from the same cloth and it would never work. Instead of being put off, as I’d hoped, he only seemed more intrigued.

“I’m afraid I may have made a mistake,” I admitted, hoping she was in a forgiving mood. “Don’t hate me—”

Eleni sat up straighter. “God, it’s annoying when you say that. You know I could never hate you. Just tell me what you did so I can bitch and moan and we can get it over with.”

“I kind of told Damon you’re a player, like him. I wanted him to know you two were way too much alike for it to ever work.”

Barbara smiled at that. Like our favorite hairstylist, Barbara knew all of the girls’ secrets. Fortunately, discretion was her strong suit.

“What did he say to that?” Eleni asked, seeming too interested for a woman who had already decided to write him off.

“Well…” I tried to remember the specific details about our conversation. “He asked if you were dating anyone right now. I told him you went out almost every night with a different guy.” I laughed as I recalled his scowl when he’d heard that. “I told him you were one of those women who was comfortable with her sexuality and just attracted men like a magnet.”

Eleni seemed to consider that. “I hope you didn’t give him the impression I was sleeping with all these guys.”

“Why do you care what he thinks of you?” I narrowed my eyes at her reflection.

“He’s your boyfriend’s brother. Like you said, I’ll probably have to see him again. Just ‘cause I don’t intend to sleep with him doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

I laughed out loud, making Barbara frown. She expected me to remain still, but it wasn’t easy when I was craning my neck to see if Eleni was serious. “You and Damon? Friends? Come on. We both know you could never be ‘just friends’ with a guy like him. He’s way too sexy and…” I could think of a lot of words to describe him, but one seemed to fit better than all the others. “Irresistible.”

Eleni smirked. “There’s just something about those Starkis men, isn’t there?”

“You said it.” I stepped down when Barbara tapped my leg and stood to stretch her back, letting me know it was Eleni’s turn. “But I’ve already passed the point of no return with mine. As your friend, I’m telling you to get out before it’s too late.”

Eleni rolled her eyes as she held her arms out for Barbara to pin her tight red dress. “Aren’t you being a tad dramatic?”

“You might think so, but trust me, I’m not.” I thought of the pressure Deacon was putting on me to take our relationship to the next level, and I wondered whether Damon would try to do the same with Eleni. No way would she stand for that. Unlike me, she had no interest in marriage or children. Ever. “They’re used to getting what they want and won’t take no for an answer.”

“Yeah, well, Damon won’t have a choice because my answer is a very definitive no!”

“I’m heartbroken,” Damon said, standing in the doorway, clutching his chest. “You haven’t even given me the chance to ask you to lunch, and you’re already turning me down?”

Oh my. He looked delicious in a black designer suit and black dress shirt open at the collar. His dark hair was damp and slicked back, almost as though he’d had a shower and couldn’t wait for it to dry. Eleni wasn’t known for having a lot of willpower to resist a handsome man’s advances, and I didn’t think she’d ever tried to resist one that hot. But I had to give Eleni credit for not smiling. Even when he flashed those dimples, she kept a straight face. Bravo, girl. You show him who’s boss.

“I already have a lunch date.” She lowered her eyes to watch Barbara pin her hem as though it were the most fascinating thing she’d ever seen.

I didn’t know if Eleni was telling the truth or not. It was possible. She had so many suitors she often had to squeeze in lunch dates because her evenings were all spoken for. I could think of only one word to describe the look on Damon’s face: crushed. Okay, maybe two. Crushed and… jealous? Yup, the way his hands curled into fists as his amber eyes darkened gave him away. He was jealous! Maybe I had underestimated his interest in Eleni. Perhaps he was looking for more than a one-night stand.

“Who beat me to it?” he asked, the muscle in his jaw clenching.

“Just a lawyer I met at the deli last week.” She glanced at me in the mirror. “Remember, Mia? I told you about Derek, didn’t I?”

She had told me about him, but she’d said she wasn’t sure if she would go out with him. Apparently, he was handsome, but she didn’t get butterflies. In spite of her full date card, she rarely wasted time on men who didn’t turn her on. Good old-fashioned butterflies was her criteria for deciding whether they were worth her time. I was willing to bet a million bucks I didn’t have that Damon had set loose a whole cluster of butterflies in her belly.

As if on cue, a handsome man in a gray three-piece suit appeared beside Damon. The two men sized each other up before Derek said, “I hope you don’t mind me stopping by, Eleni. I know we were going to meet at the restaurant, but my meeting finished early, and I felt like taking a walk.”

“Then my all means,” Damon said, pointing at the outer door of the building, “take a walk.”

I pinched my lips together, trying not to laugh. Damon, like his brother, definitely had a way of putting people in their place. I was certain I was about to witness a world-class pissing contest.

“I don’t believe we’ve met.” Derek raised an eyebrow at Damon. He didn’t offer his hand.

“Damon Starkis.” He let his name settle in, obviously giving Derek a moment to accept that he was seriously outclassed.

“Starkis?” Derek glared at him, almost as though he was calling his bluff. “As in Demetrius and Deacon Starkis?”

“My father and brother,” Damon said smugly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t catch your name.”

“Derek Reid.”

Damon lifted a broad shoulder, as though his nemesis’s name was of little consequence. I had to hand it to him—the man had arrogance down to an art. But I’d seen other facets of his personality. Damon was also fun, charismatic, intelligent, and charming. He definitely had many sides, and I wondered whether I’d done my friend a disservice by suggesting she keep her distance from him.

“I’ll be ready to go in a few, Derek,” Eleni said, smiling warmly. “Your timing is perfect actually. I’m famished.”

When I heard my phone vibrate, indicating I had a text, I considered ignoring it. I didn’t want to miss a minute of the drama unfolding in front of me. But it might have been Deacon hoping to steal me away for lunch, so I retrieved my phone from my purse. Drew? What the hell? I hadn’t heard from him since he’d moved out.

His text was ominous. Meet me in your boyfriend’s office now. Why was he going to see Deacon? Whatever it was, that text could only mean trouble.

“Barb, I have to dash.” I slipped my phone into my purse as I stood. “Can I change now?”

“Sure, go ahead,” she said, waving toward the fitting room. “Just be careful with the pins.”

Eleni grabbed my arm as I walked past. “Problem?”

“I’ll let you know.” I had the uneasy feeling there very well might be.

I changed as quickly as I could, slipping back into my jeans, layered tanks, and ballerina flats before I waved a hasty good-bye to Barbara and Eleni. I jogged to reach the elevator before the doors closed, and my heart beat wildly as I made my way to the top floor. I didn’t want to see any bloodshed, but I could do little to stop them if they were determined to go at it. I couldn’t imagine Deacon inciting a physical altercation in his office, in front of his staff, but I knew from experience that his self-control often snapped when he was provoked.

I noted Deacon’s receptionist had already left for lunch. I didn’t know if that was a good thing or not. She wouldn’t overhear the personal details of my life, but she also couldn’t call for help if a fight broke out. Hopefully I wasn’t too late. Deacon’s office door was open a crack, and I was just about to push it open when I heard the words that stopped me in my tracks.

Drew asked Deacon, “When were you planning to tell Mia you’re a sex addict, Starkis?”

Chapter Eighteen

Deacon

My poker face had won me a small fortune over the years, so I knew my impassive mask would fool this sucker too. There was no way he could know for sure. I’d only told… shit. “Get out of here.” I turned back to my computer. “My time is too valuable to waste on you.”

“She doesn’t know, does she?” Drew asked, sounding smug. “Mia doesn’t know that you’re like a drug addict or an alcoholic, only minutes away from needing another hit.” He sneered. “Are you getting a little twitchy now? Thinking about calling Mia up here for a quickie to get you through the day?”

I had been thinking about doing just that, but no way would I give him the satisfaction of admitting I needed my Mia fix. I had no choice. It was like a sickness, a disease without a cure. My sex addiction was the reason I’d avoided serious relationships because I always believed I couldn’t remain faithful to just one woman. It was also the reason I’d continued seeing other women while trying to lure Mia away from this loser.

But I didn’t have to admit anything to him. As long as I continued to deny it and he had no proof, Mia would take my word over his. I would tell her about my demons long after I was convinced I’d slain them. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t I?” He walked around my office as if he had the right to be there, studying pictures of me with dignitaries and celebrities. “Hmmm, why don’t we call Christie up here?” He faced me, his eyes glittering with amusement. “Will you call her a liar to her face?”

Son of a bitch. I’d told Christie in a moment of weakness, after a few too many drinks. She had been pressing me about why we couldn’t see more of each other, or see each other exclusively, so I’d told her one woman would never be enough for me because of my… problem.

Afterward, I’d realized there was a risk she would tell Mia since they were friends, so I’d intended to give her an incentive—in the form of a million dollars—to keep her mouth shut. But I’d been complacent. I hadn’t made the offer yet because I’d assumed she would come to me if Mia asked too many questions about our former relationship. I was still Christie’s boss, and I knew how much she needed the job. But apparently my oversight was coming back to bite me.

“Tell me why you’re here,” I said, clasping my hands over my stomach. “You’re not going to get Mia back. She’s done with you.”

“You don’t just throw away eight years on a whim.” Slicing a hand through the air, he said, “She may have been blinded by your money and power, but once she finds out the truth about you, she’ll come back to me.”

“I wouldn’t count on it.” Of course, I couldn’t be sure of anything. If I were in Mia’s position, I didn’t know how I would react to news like that.

“Why don’t we call Mia up here? Let her decide.”

“No!” I slammed my fist on the desk. “It’s none of her business or yours!” Of course, the former was a lie. It was her business, especially if she agreed to become my wife.

“Really?” A slow smile swept across his face. “Do you think Mia would agree with that?” He didn’t give me a chance to respond. “How many women have there been, Starkis? Hundreds? Thousands?”

I’d lost count years ago, when the numbers had been adding up and I began despising my own weakness. Instead of letting him know how rattled I was, I decided to bait him. It would at least give the illusion I still had the upper hand, though at the moment, he was the one with all the power—the power to destroy what I had with Mia and, in the process, destroy me.

“Jealous, are you?”

He tipped his head from one side to the other. “See, that’s the difference between you and me, man. Women are like ice cream to you—you want to keep trying new flavors to satisfy your craving. Me? I was happy with just one. I loved Mia. I still do.”

“Too bad she doesn’t feel the same way.”

“You don’t know how she’s gonna feel when she finds out about this.”

Fire was building inside me, and I needed an outlet before I exploded. “You want her after I’ve had her? Be my guest. But I can promise you that every time you’re in bed with her, it’ll be me she’s thinking about.” I’d meant to torture him, but that visual tormented me instead.

“Nice to know what you really think of me, Deacon.” Mia threw the door open, the anguished look on her beautiful face evidence that she’d heard every word.

No! “Mia…” I stood. “We obviously need to talk.” I glared at Drew. “Get the hell out before I throw you out.”

He ignored me, smiling at his ex-girlfriend instead. “Oh good, I’m glad you got my text, sweetheart. I was worried you wouldn’t pick it up right away.”

He’d arranged this? Of course he had. I shouldn’t have been surprised. He’d no doubt earned Christie’s trust, worn her down, and made her believe they had a future. I couldn’t say I blamed him. If another man had tried to take Mia from me, I would have resorted to every underhanded trick in the book to get her back.

“I can’t believe you,” she said, staring straight through me. “You told Christie about this, but you didn’t have the guts to tell me?”

“I would have.” I saw her shutting down, and I knew I had to do something fast or she’d build an impenetrable wall I’d never break through. “When the time was right.”

“When would that have been?” she asked, on the verge of tears. “When you went away on your next business trip and screwed the waitress in the hotel restaurant because you couldn’t go one night without? Is that how it is with sex addiction? You just need a warm body in your bed—the names and faces don’t matter?”

The door was still open. I didn’t need my employees hearing all the sordid details of my life, so I rounded the desk to close it, but she bolted. “Where do you think you’re going?”

I ran after her, but she slipped through the elevator doors before I could get to her. My heart had never beat faster, not even after a mind-numbing orgasm or a dangerous trek in the safari. I couldn’t lose her. I pounded the buttons with the side of my fist, muttering every expletive I could think of while I considered whether or not the stairs would be faster.

“You’re wasting your time,” Drew said, leaning against my office doorframe with his arms crossed. “I know Mia. You betray her, and it’s over.”

“I haven’t betrayed her,” I said, pounding the buttons.

“A lie by omission is the same thing.”

I considered whether or not I should pound on him instead, but I couldn’t let Mia leave the building. If I did, she may never come back.

Finally the doors of the second elevator car opened, and I shut him out as I punched the button for the ground floor. She was crossing the lobby when I stepped off the elevator.

“Mia, wait!”

She kept walking while dozens of people stared slack-jawed as I sprinted across the lobby. I didn’t give a shit about propriety anymore. I was more worried about my life, my future with the woman who meant everything to me.

I grabbed her arm before she could run. “You’re not leaving until we talk about this.”

“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say!” she screamed, pushing against my chest in an effort to break free. “You’re a lying bastard! You never intended to be faithful to me. You couldn’t be!”

“Come with me.” I gritted my teeth as I dragged her by the hand across the lobby to the security office. A guard was monitoring the cameras, but he jumped up when I growled, “Get out.” I slammed and locked the door before turning toward her. I forced myself to take a deep breath before I said the only words I knew she wanted to hear. “I’m sorry. I should have told you, but I couldn’t risk losing you.”

“How could you?” She leaned against the edge of the desk, her arms wrapped tightly around her stomach. “How could you let me fall in love with you while you knew there was no way you could be faithful to me?”

I wanted to grab her, to hold her and never let go, but I knew she would fight me. “It’s an addiction like any other,” I said, choosing my words carefully. “I can fight it. I can get help. I can take it one day at a time. For you, I’d do anything.”

She closed her eyes, a tear slipping down each cheek as she bit her bottom lip. “How long?”

“Years.” My breath was shaky, my hands trembling from a fear unlike any I’d ever known. I couldn’t lie anymore, but I knew the truth would set her free. The thought of that horrified me.

“I guess it makes sense now,” she whispered. “So many women in your life yet never a serious relationship.” She looked at me, her eyes overflowing with tears. “It’s because you knew… you knew you couldn’t be faithful. Right?” When I didn’t respond, she said, “Please. You owe me the truth.”

“I didn’t believe I could be faithful because of my”—I cleared my throat—“compulsion. But you changed everything.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Are you sure? That night I found you with Selene, would you have slept with her had I not shown up?”

I closed my eyes as I sank against the desk across from her. I couldn’t look her in the eye and lie to her, but admitting the truth would have been the final nail in my coffin.

“That’s what I thought.” She pushed off the desk and made it the few steps to the door. “Maybe if you’d been honest with me from the beginning, we could have figured out how to work through this together. But you couldn’t do that, and that speaks volumes about what our relationship would have been like. It’s better we end it now, before we both get in too deep.”

“Can’t you see I’m already in too deep?” My voice sounded raspy and raw. “There’s no way out for me now. Sex was my obsession before you came into my life. Now it’s you.”

Her eyes widened in panic. “You have to stay away from me.”

“I can’t.” Scaring her wasn’t my intent, but I refused to lie to her again.

“You don’t have a choice.” She squared her shoulders, obviously trying to find the courage to make me back down. “I’ll get a restraining order.”

“You work for me.”

“Not anymore.”

My gut twisted as reality crashed down around me. I couldn’t hang on any longer. She was slipping away, out of my grasp, and I couldn’t reach her.

“Don’t say that!” My long strides ate up the small room, and I was on her before she could blink. “You’re mine. You’ll always be mine.”

“No.” She turned her face away, biting her lip when I tried to kiss her. “I gave myself to a man I thought I knew, a man I thought I could trust. You’re not him.”

“I am,” I said desperately, wishing I could find the words to make this mess go away. I hated the man I’d become, the man who’d driven her away with his sickness. “You just have to give me a chance to prove it.”

She shoved hard against my chest. “I did give you a chance, and you blew it.”

“I love you,” I whispered, letting my hands fall to my sides as she reached behind her for the door handle. “Please. Don’t do this. Don’t leave me.”

“You haven’t given me a choice.”

I watched her walk away. The pain grew with every step she took until it felt as if it would cut off my air supply.

“You wanna talk about it?” Damon stood in the doorway, blocking my view of Mia’s back.

“What are you doing here?” I asked as the numbness set in.

“I came to ask Eleni out for lunch, but she had other plans.” Damon stepped inside, closing the door behind him, when I retreated into the security room. “What happened, man? I heard you two arguing, and when Mia left, it look like she’d been through hell.”

“She knows about…” Christie was the only person I’d told outright about my problem, but others—like my brother, Blake, and Selene—knew instinctively, after years of observing my behavior. “My issue with women.”

“Your issue?” Damon raised an eyebrow. “You mean the sex addiction?”

I swallowed, having difficulty owning that clinical term. Damon wasn’t much better than I was. In fact, he was the one who’d proposed we both find a counselor to talk to about the cause behind our respective issues with women and relationships, but I’d remained in denial. “Yes.”

“You told her?”

“No.” I sank into the leather swivel chair, staring numbly at the cameras monitoring all of the building’s exits. Of course, Mia was long gone. “She overheard a conversation I was having with her ex.”

“How the hell did he know about it?”

“I had a thing with one of Mia’s friends, another model.” I sighed, thinking back to the night I’d spilled my guts to Christie. My moments of vulnerability were few and far between, but I’d felt particularly low that night. I’d been depressed after Mia had told me she had plans with Drew, and I was questioning whether she would ever leave him. “I told her about it when she started asking me why we couldn’t be exclusive.”

Damon frowned. “That was stupid, and it doesn’t sound like you.”

“It wasn’t me talking. It was the scotch.” I scrubbed my hands over my face.

“That’ll do it.” Damon sat in the leather swivel chair beside mine, looking concerned. “So what now?”

“She said it’s over.” I could barely process the words, let alone what they meant.

“Did you cheat on her?”

I scowled at him, mainly because I needed to take my anger out on someone. As my brother, he seemed like a logical candidate. “Of course not.”

“But you were tempted.”

“There was one night when I was home alone with Selene. Nothing happened.” I sighed. “Mia showed up.”

“Do you think something would have happened had she not shown up when she did?”

“I want to say no.”

“But you can’t?”

“No.” God, what did that say about me? My brother had been right when he’d told me I had a serious problem. Maybe if I’d listened to his warnings a year ago, I would have had a handle on it already. “Mia and I weren’t even sleeping together yet.” My excuse sounded pathetic, even to me. “I needed to believe it would be different now.”

“Deacon, I saw someone while I was in Greece.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I saw a therapist.” Damon looked me in the eye. “I wanted to talk to him about my inability to commit to a woman, my promiscuity, my fear of being hurt and abandoned.”

I was in shock. Even though Damon had suggested we seek help for similar problems, I’d had no idea he would actually go through with it. In that moment, I respected him more than I ever had. He’d done something I couldn’t bring myself to do: admit he had a problem and ask for help.

“It wasn’t just the relationship thing that was bothering me,” Damon continued. “It was the fact that I wasn’t contributing anything of value to the world. I was tired of coasting, tired of living off my trust fund. So I decided to come back and get involved in the business. This is Dad’s legacy, and I want him to know that means something to me.”

Damon had always had a better relationship with the old man than I had. As the firstborn, Dad had always been harder on me, expected more from me, which had made me bitter and resentful.

“It wasn’t easy, sitting down and talking to a total stranger about this. In fact, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it helped. A lot.”

“I’m glad.” I was happy my brother was finding his way, but it was ironic that it seemed to have happened at a time when I’d never felt more lost.

“I haven’t been…”—he looked awkwardly at his laced hands—“intimate with a woman in almost three months.”

My head shot up as his words registered. Damon had always been a three- or four-date-a-week guy and always with different women. No way could he be telling me he’d taken a vow of celibacy. “Why? Your therapist told you to?”

He smiled, shaking his head. “No, I decided this was the right thing for me. The next time I have sex, I want it to mean something.”

I understood how he felt since I’d been with Mia. I’d had sex more times than I cared to count, but it had never felt more incredible than it did with her. “You’re a smart man.” I met his eyes. “But do you think you can be faithful to just one woman? You and I are cut from the same cloth, especially when it comes to our outlook on relationships. Do you really believe you can be with just one woman for the rest of your life?”

He considered my question a long time. “If she’s the right woman, yeah, I do. How about you?”

“I love Mia so much I can’t imagine wanting anyone else.”

“There’s only one way to prove that to her, you know.”

“How?” I would do anything to get her back.

“Take time. Give her space.”

Time and space? That sounded like a lethal combination. “I don’t think so.”

“Just hear me out,” he said, lifting his hand. “Find a professional, someone you trust, to talk to about this. Believe me, it’ll make all the difference.”

I couldn’t imagine airing my dirty laundry in some shrink’s office, but I would have to do something drastic to convince Mia I wanted to change. “I’ll think about it.”

“If you don’t, you’ll lose the best thing that ever happened to you.”

He was right, and I hated it. “I’ll find someone.”

“You have to take time and just be by yourself for a while, Deacon. You’ll be amazed how much clearer your head will be after a couple of months.”

“A couple of months without Mia? Are you crazy?”

“Won’t it be worth it if you can go back to her as the man she deserves?”

I considered my options and realized I had none. Getting help seemed to be my only hope of proving to her that I wanted a life with her no matter the sacrifice. “Yeah, it will.” I stood as my brother did the same, and I drew him into a hug. “Thanks, Damon. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I can breathe.”

He slapped my back before pulling back to look me in the eye. “Trust me, it only gets better. Every day, you’ll be able to breathe a little easier.”

“It was getting harder and harder to move through life with this weighing me down, especially after I met Mia.” I’d never thought I’d admit that, but Damon had found the courage to face his demons, and now I felt braver too. “I finally had the woman of my dreams, but I was so afraid of losing her.”

“Because you knew you didn’t deserve her. You were living a lie, trying to sell her a version of yourself that the rest of the world had bought. But it didn’t feel good because you really wanted to be yourself with her and couldn’t.”

“How’d you get so smart?” I smiled as I grasped the back of his neck.

He grinned. “It’s amazing what thousands of dollars of therapy will buy you. If you’re lucky, you come away from it almost sane.”

“You? Sane?” I wrapped my arm around his neck as I guided him to the door. “Let’s not get crazy.”

Chapter Nineteen

Mia

Fifty-nine days without Deacon, and I’d survived. People said time healed all wounds, but if anything, I missed him more than I had the day I walked out on him. But according to Eleni, life had to go on, so I’d agreed to let my roomie set me up with someone new—someone incredible, according to her, unlike any other man I’d ever dated. She said she met him at work. Her work. I’d left Alabaster’s right after I found out the truth about Deacon. To my surprise, he hadn’t tried to enforce my contract. He just let me walk away. That still hurt when I let myself dwell on it.

I was sure Deacon had moved on already, probably to a gorgeous model who had no problem sharing him with his harem. But that could never be me. As hard as it was to live without him, I’d much rather do that than share him.

“Is this seat taken?”

I froze when I heard his voice. Deacon. He hadn’t tried to contact me, not even once, since we’d broken up. It had to be a coincidence he was there. On the very day I’d agreed to meet someone new.

“What are you doing here?” I sounded breathless, torn between fear and elation at seeing him again. I’d finally stopped crying myself to sleep, but I knew seeing him would reopen those wounds, and I didn’t want to go there again. “You can’t sit down.” I tried to sound firmer. “I’m meeting someone.”

“I know.” His hand curled around the back of the chair. “You’re meeting me.”

“You?” I couldn’t believe Eleni would do that to me. She, of all people, knew how hard the breakup had been on me. “No, Eleni wouldn’t set me up to meet you.”

He sat down, staring at me for a long time. “It was hard to convince your best friend that I’m the man you belong with, but the facts speak for themselves.”

“The facts?” I licked my lips, almost afraid of the compelling argument he would present. I wanted him to convince me we were meant to be together, but at the same time, I was afraid to believe him.

“When you walked out on me, I had no idea how to move on with my life.”

“I guess you figured it out.” I tried to keep the bitterness out of my voice as I smoothed the napkin in my lap. A man who was pining over a woman didn’t take a vow of silence. He did anything in his power to get her back, even when she threatened him with a restraining order.

“I did.”

We waited while the waiter delivered the wine Deacon had apparently taken the liberty of ordering for us. I listened politely while the middle-aged gentleman rattled off the specials. All the while, I silently screamed at him to leave so I could hear what Deacon had to say for himself.

Deacon lifted his glass, a slight smile on his lips. “To making amends.”

That was ambiguous. I touched my glass to his. Was he there to apologize? To absolve his conscience so he could move on with someone else? Would he suggest we be friends or ask that I return to Alabaster’s? I had no idea, and the uncertainty tied my stomach in knots.

“The day you left, I was a wreck,” he said, captivating me with the intensity in his hooded gaze. “You’d seen the worst of me. You knew my deepest, darkest secret, and I was humiliated. I always wanted you to see me the way others do, as a man in control. But that day, you learned I was a fraud. I wasn’t in control, no matter how it seemed. I was a slave to my addiction. It owned me.”

I knew how difficult it must be for a man like him to acknowledge his shame. I looked around the restaurant, feeling as though all eyes were on us, but I was just being paranoid. Everyone was either enjoying their meals or engrossed in conversation with their companions. “I can’t pretend to understand this problem you have—”

“Call it what it is,” he cut in. “An addiction. It’s the same as drugs or alcohol.”

I didn’t know why that made me feel worse. Wasn’t the first step in overcoming addiction to admit he had a problem? But the thought of Deacon being a powerless addict didn’t sit well with me. It meant he couldn’t control his urge to have sex with other women, and if that were the case, we had no future.

“How do you deal with something like that?” I asked, licking my lips. “How do you overcome it?”

He leaned back, looking relaxed and confident. “The old-fashioned way—one day at a time. In the beginning, it was one hour at a time. It’s marginally easier now that I have a couple of months under my belt.”

Was he saying he’d abstained from sex for the past two months? I wanted to ask, but I wasn’t sure I had the right. He hadn’t said anything about getting back together. He was merely telling me his story, perhaps to help me understand so I could move on with my life.

“When you left that day, my first impulse was to go after you and beg you to take me back.”

I hated to admit that was what I’d expected him to do. When he hadn’t, I’d been almost disappointed, in spite of the hard line I’d taken with him in the security office. “Why didn’t you?”

“My brother convinced me to step back and take a good, long, hard look at what drove you away.” He ran a hand over his lilac silk tie, flattening it. “So I did.”

“And?”

“I didn’t like what I saw when I looked in the mirror that day, theia. I’d accomplished everything I had set my mind to in business and life, yet I was still a prisoner to this thing I couldn’t eradicate. It was insidious, eating me up inside like a disease doctors couldn’t find no matter how hard they tried.”

I’d never expected to see a humble version of the business mogul I’d fallen in love with, and I didn’t know how to respond. I heard the sincerity in his words and didn’t question whether he was being honest with me. I knew he was.

“I knew I had to do something about it. I couldn’t go on being ashamed of the man I was, trying to hide from the truth and convince myself I deserved someone like you even though I knew I didn’t.”

Imagining someone like Deacon feeling as though he weren’t good enough was hard. I assumed only regular people like me battled insecurities, not gorgeous billionaires with dignitaries on speed dial.

“Admitting I had a problem and asking for help was the single hardest thing I’ve ever done.” He waved the waiter away as he approached and leaned in to add, “But it was also the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. My healing began the day I was able to look a total stranger in the eye and bare my soul. He didn’t judge me. He didn’t make me feel weak or ashamed, and when I was hard on myself, he reminded me I hadn’t committed a violent act. All of my partners had consented. That made it easier for me to let go of some of my own judgments about my behavior.”

“I’m glad.” I was certain Deacon was his own worst critic, seeing any shortcoming as a fatal flaw. “Everyone makes mistakes. We all have weaknesses.”

He smiled. “Tell me yours.”

You. But of course I couldn’t say that. “Peanut butter chocolate ice cream. I know I shouldn’t eat it, but sometimes I just can’t help myself.”

“So you indulge.” He let the statement rest between us.

I wondered if he could tell I was wondering whether he would always feel compelled to indulge his penchant for other women. “I do.”

“I don’t. Not anymore. Not since I realized I had a choice to make: you or my habit. I chose you.” He reached for my hand.

I let him hold it, trying to breathe through the electrifying jolt that bolted up my arm. I felt as though his words were echoing through the room, but I knew that was just my scrambled brain playing tricks on me. I hadn’t expected him to be here, and I certainly hadn’t expected him to tell me he’d slain his demons for me.

“Say something.”

“I’m not sure what to say,” I admitted, withdrawing my hand. “This is a lot to process. I came here hoping to meet someone new so I could move on with my life, but here you are, claiming to be a changed man. And you’re asking for what? A second chance?”

“I’m asking for a chance to prove to you that I’ve changed. Can you give me that?”

I wanted to, more than anything, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that would make it too easy for him. He expected me to acquiesce because that’s what people did when he made demands. I didn’t want to be one of those people. “I’ll need some time. I don’t know how I feel right now.”

“I understand.” He stood and kissed my cheek before stepping away from the table.

I grabbed his wrist. “That’s it? You’re going to accept my decision just like that?”

He smiled as he ran his fingertip down my cheek. “Why wouldn’t I? You didn’t say no. ‘Maybe’ is more than I dared hope for when I came here today.”

I watched him leave, wondering how I would ever survive if he broke my heart again.

***

“I can’t believe you did that!” I tossed a throw cushion at my so-called best friend. Rosie danced around on the couch, leaping over my lap. “How could you send me there to meet some mystery man?”

Eleni hugged the pillow. “I’m sorry, but I got so sick of seeing you mope around this apartment missing him.”

Eleni had moved in with me when her lease ran out, which had happened to coincide with my breakup with Deacon. The timing had been perfect. I’d never needed my best friend more. Some days, she forced me to take a shower. Other days, she wrestled the phone out of my hand when I was determined to call him. But mostly she just listened and dried my tears.

“I wasn’t moping.”

Eleni rolled her eyes. “Call it whatever you want. I know what you were doing.”

“You were as almost as angry with him as I was, El. How did he convince you to set me up like that?”

“It took a while,” she admitted. “He called me up to his office a few weeks ago to tell me about some of the changes he’d made, namely the therapy and abstinence.”

My jaw dropped. “He actually told you that?”

She laughed. “Yeah, I was pretty surprised he just came out with it like that, but he said he was sure I already knew the worst of the story. He wanted me to know he was trying to change.”

“Did you believe him?” Eleni was an excellent judge of character, and she often saw through people I believed were trustworthy.

“I did. But just to be sure, I started asking around.”

“What do you mean?”

“I asked the girls if he’d called them for a ‘date.’” She made air quotes around the word. “I asked his brother if he’d seen any changes in him. I figured if anyone would know what was going on inside Deacon’s head, Damon would.”

“Damon?” That was the first I’d heard of Deacon’s brother since the breakup. I assumed my friend had written him off a long time ago. “Since when do you talk to Damon?”

“He stops by Alabaster’s sometimes to grab lunch with Deacon. He usually pokes his head in to say hi to me.”

“Hmmm.” It sounded innocent enough, but I didn’t buy it. I got the distinct impression there was more to the story, but I would press her about that later. Right now I needed more information about Deacon. “And what did they say about him?”

“The girls said he’d called them all right—to apologize.”

“To apologize for what?” I stroked Rosie’s coat absently when she finally plopped down beside me.

“For using them. He explained about his problem and said he was sorry they’d gotten mixed up in his mess. He assured them it wouldn’t happen again and hoped they could maintain an amicable working relationship.”

“He really said that?” I admired Deacon for taking responsibility for his actions, but I knew any one of those girls would gladly have slept with him again, even now that they knew he was just using them to feed his addiction.

Eleni nodded emphatically. “I assume it has something to do with his therapy, you know, making amends with those he wronged.”

Making amends. The words rang in my head, and I wondered whether he was just trying to reconcile with me because he felt guilty for hurting me. I replayed our conversation in my head. “He seemed sincere, but how can I be sure of anything where he’s concerned? The guy is obviously a master manipulator.”

“Is he?” Eleni reached for her water bottle and twisted off the cap. “He didn’t lie to you about being a womanizer, hon. We all knew he was.”

“Yeah, but there’s a difference between being a player and a sex addict.” At least I’d thought there was, though I couldn’t say which was worse.

“I guess.” Eleni shrugged as though she too was having mixed feelings. “But the bottom line is he’s not that guy anymore. He changed for you because he loves you.”

“Did he tell you that?” I asked, praying he had. “Or are you just speculating again?”

“He didn’t have to tell me anything. It was written all over his face when he asked how you were handling the breakup. He’s clearly agonized over the way things went down, and he’s willing to do anything to set it right.”

“I was so blindsided in that restaurant. I didn’t even know how to respond.”

“Where did you leave things?”

“I told him I needed time to think.”

“And? Have you had enough time to think?”

“I think so.”

***

When Deacon didn’t answer the doorbell, I walked around the back, hoping to find him lounging by the pool since the security guard had assured me he was home. I was surprised I still had standing clearance at the gatehouse. I wanted to believe it meant something, but I couldn’t get my hopes up until I talked to Deacon again.

I tried to remain calm when I saw Selene lounging by the pool in a black bikini, but it was difficult to see his former lover looking so much like the lady of the manor. “Hello, Selene.” I forced a tight smile. “Do you know where Deacon is?”

She shaded her eyes with her hand. “I am afraid I have not seen him all day. Are you sure he is home?”

“The guard said he was.”

“Would you like me to let you in? I have a spare key.”

The spare key he was supposed to give me, no doubt. Sitting on the foot of the lounger next to Selene, I said, “I’d rather talk first, if you don’t mind?”

“Of course.” She reached for the sunscreen and sprayed some on her lean legs before she leaned over to rub it in. “I have to admit I am a little surprised to see you here. I thought you broke up with Deacon.”

“Then he told you about what happened?” I couldn’t claim to be surprised. Selene was his trusted friend. I just had to figure out if she was more than that.

“He did.”

“Did you have any idea about his problem?” I didn’t know why I kept calling it that. I should have been able to say the word addiction without feeling my skin crawl.

“I knew.” She lay back and closed her eyes. I was about to ask her to elaborate when she said, “He did not willingly confide in me, but it was not difficult to tell something was eating away at him. At first I thought it was something else—drugs, alcohol, I was not really sure—but he was exhibiting some strange behaviors. So I confronted him about it.”

“What did he say?”

“This was some time ago, maybe four or five years.”

I didn’t know why I was surprised to learn it had been going on so long. “Has he had this issue most of his adult life?”

She raised a shoulder. “You would have to ask him. All I know is he was really struggling with it when we talked. He said he didn’t like the hold his addiction had over him. At first, sex had been fun for him. He liked experimenting, figuring out what turned him on, what turned his lovers on, but it had turned into an obsession.”

“I guess I can understand how that might have happened,” I said, trying to see things from his perspective. I didn’t want him to be the villain I’d made him out to be when I learned the truth. I wanted him to be the good, albeit complicated, man I’d fallen in love with.

“Sex was an outlet for him, a stress reliever. He put a lot of pressure on himself to succeed, to prove to his family and himself that he could make it on his own. Without an outlet, he probably would have snapped.”

I imagined how tightly wound he must have been in the early years of his business. It couldn’t have been easy, especially when his pride was on the line and failure wasn’t an option. I wanted to come right out and ask Selene whether they’d slept together recently, but I didn’t want to put her on the defensive. “Can I ask whether you’ve seen any changes in him over the past couple of months?”

“He is like a different man,” she said quietly. She slipped on some large plastic sunglasses, almost as though she was trying to hide the sadness in her eyes. “He seems more at peace, not nearly as edgy. I am sure that’s because he feels this addiction is losing its hold on him now that he’s admitted the truth to himself and to you.”

“He didn’t exactly admit it to me.” I couldn’t explain why I was confiding in Deacon’s former lover. “I overheard a conversation he was having with my ex-boyfriend, and he couldn’t deny it any longer.”

“I am sure it would have been easier to accept had he told you the truth and admitted he needed help to figure things out.”

“You’re right. It would have.”

“You mentioned your ex-boyfriend. Did you talk to him after you broke up with Deacon?”

I shook my head. “He tried to call a few times, but I told him I had nothing to say to him. He’s a part of my past. I’m not interested in resurrecting that.”

“How about Deacon? Are you ready to let him go too?”

“That’s what I’m here to figure out.” It would drive me crazy if I didn’t ask the question burning in the back of my mind. “Selene, have you and Deacon… I mean, has he asked you to—”

“No, he has not. Much like you have let go of your ex, I have let go of Deacon too. He will always be a good friend, but it will never be more than that. I have started seeing someone new, someone who makes me happy.”

“That’s wonderful,” I said, smiling. I was relieved she’d decided to move on. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about her feelings for Deacon, assuming we decided to get back together.

“Mia, what are you doing here?”

I looked up, and our eyes locked. All of my reservations receded when I saw the way he looked at me. He loved me. He’d demonstrated he would do anything for me. Now I had to show him I was willing to do the same.

Chapter Twenty

Deacon

I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her. I knew I was being rude by ignoring Selene, but the unexpected thrill of looking out my window and seeing Mia’s car in my drive had given me a hopefulness I hadn’t had in months.

“I think I’ll leave you two alone,” Selene said, collecting her belongings. “I have to get ready for my date anyhow.”

“Have fun,” I murmured, my eyes still locked on Mia. When we were finally alone, I said, “I’m glad you’re here.”

“I wasn’t sure you would be.”

I sat on the lounger Selene had vacated, facing Mia. She was close enough to touch, but I didn’t dare until I found out the reason for her visit. Maybe she’d come to let me down gently, to tell me that too much had happened for us to be a couple again.

“You’re always welcome in my home.” More than anything, I wanted it to be our home, but that was wishful thinking. She hadn’t even agreed to date me again, much less pick up where we’d left off.

“I appreciate that.”

She looked as uneasy as I felt, so I said, “Perhaps you should tell me why you’ve come. Is it because you thought about what I said earlier?”

“I’ve thought of little else.” She drew circles on the striped cushion with her fingertip. “But then, you were at the forefront of my mind even before we spoke today.”

“I have?” I wanted to pump my fist in the air to celebrate that small victory, but we were still a long way from the finish line. I had to pace myself. “Then why didn’t you call? You had to know not hearing your voice was killing me.”

“Honestly, I didn’t know what had been going on with you the past two months. I thought maybe you’d just…” She cleared her throat delicately before meeting my eyes. “Resumed your old life.”

“I never even considered it.” I smiled as I reached for her hand and glided my thumb over her bare ring finger. “That’s the strange thing. It should have been difficult for me to give up sex. It was, but it wasn’t the act I missed. I missed being intimate with you.”

“You really haven’t been with anyone in the past two months?”

“No, I haven’t.” I sucked in a deep breath, almost afraid to hear the answer I knew was coming. “Have you?”

“There was someone.” Her gaze fell to the ground. She tried to pull away, but my grip on her hand tightened. “It was just one night. I went out for a drink with Eleni, and one thing led to another. It didn’t mean anything.”

I knew exactly what she was talking about. The night it had happened, the new man I’d hired to ensure her safety called to tell me she was going to a hotel with a guy he’d never seen. He asked me how I wanted him to proceed. I told him to wait in the parking lot, all night if need be, to make sure she was safe and report back to me when she returned home. Then I got off the phone and threw up before drinking until I passed out with my cell in my hand.

“I realized something that night,” she whispered. “I wasn’t ready to be with anyone else. It felt so wrong, Deacon. Being with him just reminded me of how much I missed you.”

Her voice was shaky, but I let her continue. I needed to hear this as much as she needed to share it.

“I’d only been with you and Drew. I thought…” She closed her eyes. “Maybe being with someone else might help me move on with my life.”

“But it didn’t?”

A tear trickled down her cheek. “It only made me feel worse.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t sound surprised,” she said, opening her eyes.

“I knew about it.” She may think it was creepy I was still having her followed, but I’d promised that if I ever had another chance with her, full disclosure was the only option. “I hired someone new to watch your back. He told me about it.”

“You’re still having me followed? Why?”

“Nothing has changed. You’re still a beautiful woman—whose face is now on billboards. That makes you a target.”

I was proud of her. She’d started modeling for a major cosmetics firm shortly after she left Alabaster’s, and they had plastered her gorgeous face all over her town. But every time I saw one of their ads, my gut clenched.

“That doesn’t explain why you still feel the need to protect me.” She looked at me through a veil of long lashes.

I knew I could be misreading the signals, but I thought I saw a flicker of hope in her eyes. “I love you, Mia. I’ll always love you and want to protect you.”

Her face crumpled before she tore her hand from mine and lowered her head. “I still love you too, so much it’s killing me.”

As soon as her words reached my murky brain, I got down on one knee in front of her and captured her face in my hands. “Then why are you crying, theia?”

She covered my hands with hers. “I don’t know. I’m just feeling overwhelmed. It’s been one hell of a day.”

I smiled as I tugged her to her feet. Drawing her close, I guided her toward the house. “We have a lot to talk about, a lot of things to figure out, but we don’t have to sort it all out tonight. Why don’t we just curl up, enjoy a glass of wine, and catch up on each other’s lives?”

“But I just showed up unannounced and uninvited,” she said, linking her fingers with mine. “Don’t you have anywhere to be?”

I kissed the top of her head. “I was supposed to be at a fundraiser, but as soon as I saw your car, I texted my brother and asked him to go in my place. He was more than happy to stand in for me so that we could talk.”

“It seems I may have misjudged your brother.”

I laughed. “Don’t feel bad. I did too. He’s grown up a hell of a lot this past year. In fact, he’s been my rock the past couple of months. I can’t tell you how many times I almost broke down and called you or showed up on your doorstep, but Damon convinced me to wait it out until I was in a better place. He said you deserved the best of me and I shouldn’t come back to you until I could give you that.”

“Why did you want to see me today?”

“I couldn’t wait any longer. I’ve been going crazy without you.” At first, I’d berated myself for arranging that meeting sooner than I’d intended, but seeing her gorgeous face when I’d walked into the restaurant had convinced me I’d made the right decision. I couldn’t have let another day pass without telling her I still loved her.

She stopped and turned toward me. “I’m sorry about what happened that night. Leaving the bar with a guy is so out of character. He was a friend of Eleni’s, a photographer she’d worked with—”

“Sssh.” I kissed her lips as I closed my eyes, relishing in their sweetness, though I didn’t deepen the kiss. This night wasn’t about determining whether we still had physical chemistry. I knew nothing could diminish that. Tonight was about figuring out whether our emotional connection was as strong as it had ever been now that the layers had been peeled back and the truth exposed.

“I felt guilty,” she whispered, holding me close. “Like I was cheating on you, which was crazy since we’d been broken up for a month. But I kept hearing you tell me I was yours, and that’s the way it felt, like I was yours, yet I was giving myself to someone else.”

Thinking about her with someone else was difficult, but I knew it was just sex. Given all of my experience, no one understood the distinction better than I did. “You shared your body with him for one night, but you’d already given me your heart. That wasn’t up for grabs that night.”

“You’re right.” She skimmed her thumb over my lips as her hand stroked my cheek. “It was like my body was there but my heart and mind were somewhere else. With you. The next morning, I woke up with a wicked hangover and locked myself in the bathroom. I cried in the shower until the water ran cold.”

My whole body tensed. “Are you saying you were drunk? Did he take advantage of you?”

She shook her head. “No, it was nothing like that. He’d had as much as I had, maybe more. We were both acting on impulse. We talked the next morning, and I told him about you and explained why I couldn’t see him again.”

“Tell me about your work,” I said, leading her through the back door into the kitchen. I was eager for a change of topic. No matter how pleased I was to know she’d been thinking of me that night, it still hurt that it had happened at all.

She sat on a bar stool at the kitchen island as I opened a bottle of wine. I’d sent my housekeeper home since I’d planned to be out for the evening, and I was glad I had. I wanted to be alone with Mia without my well-meaning staff hovering.

She propped her chin in her hand as she watched me. “It’s been fun. It doesn’t keep me as busy as I’d like though. I’ve had too much time to think about things.”

I smiled, clutching the corkscrew. “What kind of things have you been thinking about?”

She rolled her eyes as though she had no intention of feeding my ego. “Let’s just say Eleni got tired of me moping around the house. That’s why she decided to set me up with you, because she couldn’t stand it any longer.”

I’d gotten to know Eleni quite well over the past few weeks, and she wasn’t what I’d expected. She was strong-willed and opinionated with a smart-ass comeback for everything. She didn’t know the meaning of the word fear and was always willing to take a risk. I liked her. A lot. I could see why my brother did too.

“She mentioned you two are living together. How’s that working out?”

Mia wrinkled her nose. “I love her like a sister and we get along great, but it’s kind of uncomfortable when she has guys spend the night. I always feel like a third wheel, especially when I bump into her boy toys in the kitchen the morning after.”

I wondered how my brother would feel about Eleni’s overnight guests. He’d told me that he and Eleni had become friends over the past couple months and that, for the first time in his life, he was taking things slow and trying to build a solid foundation before he made a move. I admired his patience, but I hoped he wouldn’t wait too long. It sounded as though Eleni had plenty of other options.

“Why don’t you get your own place? It seems like you’re in a pretty solid place now in terms of your career. I’m sure you could afford it.” I wanted to ask if she missed working at Alabaster’s as much as I missed having her there, but it wasn’t the right time to start pressuring her to make changes.

She looked surprised. “I thought you were opposed to me having my own place. You were the one who suggested Eleni move in with me.”

“I was opposed to you living alone in that building,” I reminded her. “It’s not secure enough. Now, if you’d like me to help you find something else, I’d be happy to.” I would have given anything to have her in my home with me, to wake up next to her every morning and fall asleep with her in my arms every night, but we had a long way to go before making that dream a reality.

“I’ll think about it. My lease is up in a couple of months. I’m not sure if Eleni would want to take over the lease or not, but it’s a possibility. I get the feeling she misses having her own space, though I know she would never admit it.”

I poured two glasses of wine and handed her one. “To new opportunities.”

She smiled. “And to meddling best friends.”

I knew she was referring to our lunch date. I was so relieved that plan hadn’t backfired the way I’d feared it might. I didn’t want her to accuse me of being manipulative or deceitful again, but I’d been so desperate to see her, and I hadn’t been able to think of another way. “To meddling best friends who love you and want what’s best for you.”

“It seems, in this case, she may have been right.” Mia took a sip of her wine. “Seeing you again was definitely the best thing for me.”

“I’m glad you feel that way.” I walked around the island, snagged the bottle of wine, and took her hand to lead her into the adjoining great room. We settled in on the couch, my arm around her, her head on my chest. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I whispered, “I missed you, Mia. I missed this, just holding you like this.”

Her lips twitched when she looked at me. “I’m willing to bet that’s not all you missed.”

Of course I’d missed the sex, but I’d been surprised to learn over the past two months that I missed seeing her smile and hearing her laughter even more. I missed waking up to her sassy text messages and the smell of her perfume on my pillow. I missed the exhilaration that came with knowing I’d see her that day and planning my next surprise for her.

“We barely got started before I screwed everything up,” I said, bringing the wine glass to my lips. I took a moment to collect my thoughts. “I spent months thinking about how it would be when we finally got together, all the things I wanted to do with you and for you, and then it seemed like it was over before it even began.”

Her hand rested on my thigh. “That may be, but that short time we spent together made one hell of an impression on me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get you out of my head. Turns out you’re a tough man to forget, Mr. Starkis.”

“Am I supposed to say I’m sorry I ruined you for all other men? Because I’m not.”

She laughed, slapping my leg. “No, I don’t imagine you are.”

“I know I asked about your work earlier, but are you really happy there?”

“Are you asking me whether I would consider coming back to Alabaster’s if we were a couple?”

I was more concerned about whether we were officially a couple again, but I couldn’t find the courage to voice that question yet. “I guess I am. Would you?”

“That depends.”

“On?”

“You.” She set her glass on the coffee table before facing me. “You may have changed these past couple of months, but you aren’t the only one. I’ve changed too.”

“I hope not too much. I thought you were perfect exactly as you were.”

She smiled before kissing me. “Thank you for saying that. But the changes I’m referring to are pretty major.”

“Tell me.” I set my glass down and reached for her hands.

“I’ve done a lot of soul-searching and figuring out who I am and what I want. I was part of a couple for so long that I only thought in terms of ‘us.’ The time alone gave me a chance to think about what’s best for me.”

“Okay.” I tried to quash my uncertainty. I hoped she wasn’t going to tell me she enjoyed being single too much to contemplate a commitment. That would ruin me. “What do you want?”

“I want a partner who loves and respects me, who cares about what I want and values my opinion.”

“Done.”

“I want someone who allows me to express myself any way I see fit, even when it makes him uncomfortable.”

I knew she was referring to her modeling. She wanted me to know that if she returned to Alabaster’s, it would be on her terms, not mine. That should have irked me since I was the boss, but the thrill of having her back overshadowed my ego. “Okay. Go on.”

“I want a relationship that evolves slowly and naturally.”

I didn’t know if I liked the sound of that. Slow and natural had never been my thing. I made things happen; I couldn’t just sit back hoping things would work out the way I wanted them to. “What does that mean exactly?”

“I’m in no hurry to get married or have children.” At the sight of my frown, she added, “It’s not that I don’t want those things. I do. Just not right away. I don’t want to rush this experience. I want to enjoy every step: being in love, getting to know each other, living together, getting engaged, planning a wedding. Then I’d like to be married for a couple of years, maybe travel some before having kids.”

I winced at her proposed timeline. It sounded as though she was proposing we wait years before getting married. I hated to dwell on it, but I wasn’t getting any younger. She may have had the luxury of time, but I didn’t feel as though I did. If the months apart had taught me anything, it was that I was ready for some stability in my life. I wanted the woman I loved waiting for me at home or coming home with me at the end of a long day.

“I’m a realist,” she said. “I know I can’t model forever, but I want to enjoy it while it lasts, and let’s face it, there isn’t a huge market for modeling maternity wear in this city.”

She was right, but a part of me wanted to remind her that she didn’t have to work another day in her life unless she chose to. I knew that wasn’t what she wanted to hear though.

“I can’t wait forever.” I hadn’t expected to blurt that out. I cursed myself when her face fell.

“I understand that.” She withdrew her hands, putting some distance between us. “And I would never ask you to. Obviously there would have to be some compromise if we believed getting back together was a viable option. It can’t be your way, and it can’t be my way. I’m just telling you what I want in an ideal world so maybe we could figure out how to compromise. That’s what mature couples do—they put their desires on the table and figure out a way to make it work.”

I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as I cupped her cheek. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make that sound like a threat. It wasn’t. It’s just that this isn’t easy for me, sweetheart. I’ve never done the whole relationship thing before. I’m the kind of guy who gets what he wants, no questions asked.” That made me sound like an arrogant jerk, but I was speaking the truth.

“I know asking you to compromise, especially on the big issues, is a lot.” She got a wicked gleam in her eyes before she pushed my back against the couch and climbed into my lap, straddling me. “But I promise to make it worth your while.”

I’d always thought guys who were whipped were pathetic, but I suddenly understood the value of making your woman happy. Gripping her waist, I leaned my head back and looked at her, thinking how lucky I was to get a second chance with her. “How do you intend to make it worth my while?”

She unfastened the buttons on my shirt slowly, dropping moist kisses on the exposed skin as she went. “I’d rather show you than tell you.”

“I think I’d prefer that as well.” I closed my eyes and simply enjoyed the sensation of her lips on my skin. I’d fallen asleep so many nights dreaming about her touch, wondering if I was crazy to think I could get that lucky again. But we were back where we belonged, in each other’s arms, and I intended to enjoy every second of it.

Mia kissed my neck as she spread my shirt. “Make no mistake, Deacon. No matter where we are in our relationship, whether we’re living together or I’m wearing your ring, I am yours. Totally. Completely. Yours.”

I savored those words. Knowing she was mine and I was hers, that we loved each other and wanted to build a life together, were the only things that mattered. “I love you, theia.” I held her beautiful face and whispered, “So much,” before brushing my lips across hers.

“I love you too.” She deepened the kiss before she pulled back. Her expression was so somber it had my heart ripping until she said, “I’m not sure how this works. I know when you’re a drug addict or alcoholic, you have to abstain for life. How does it work with your kind of addiction?”

I laughed loudly before pulling her close and burying my face in her neck. “If you’re asking me whether we can have sex, the answer is yes. But I have to warn you, with my addictive personality, I could become obsessed with ravishing you. I may want you all the time—morning, noon, and night.” I was teasing her, and she knew it, but making light of something that plagued me for so long felt good.

She seemed to consider the matter carefully before responding. “I guess if there’s an upside to this whole thing, that would have to be it.”

I grinned before taking a deep breath. I knew what needed to be said before we could move forward. “Before, when we were together, I was desperate for a commitment because I was scared of the power this thing had over me. I thought if we were living together, engaged, or married, that would give me the strength I needed to fight it. But when you left me, I realized I had to fight this battle on my own, and I did. It’s not something that can be addressed overnight or even in a couple of months. A lot of deep-seated issues contributed to this, but I’m working through them and will continue to do so until I feel like I’ve got a handle on it.”

“I admire you for doing that,” she said, gliding her fingers through my hair. “I know it must be difficult.”

“It is, but it’s worth it. I’m feeling better every day, more stable and more grounded. I know what I want now, what’s important and what’s not.”

“Care to share?”

“You’re important. What we have, what we could have—that’s what’s important to me. It’s clearer to me now than it ever was that I wouldn’t do anything to put this relationship at risk. I certainly would never cheat on you. I can promise you that. This addiction doesn’t have the same hold on me it once did. I feel like I’m finally back in control of my life and my decisions.”

She smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. And for the record, I do believe you, and I trust you, Deacon. Completely.”

With that, I reached for the hem of her thin cotton dress and pulled it over her head. I was shocked and excited to find her completely naked. “Wow, had I known this, I wouldn’t have wasted so much time talking.” I cupped her breasts as my thumbs circled her nipples.

She tilted her head back as she braced her hands on my shoulders. “I’m glad we did. We needed to figure things out.”

“And now?” Watching her slip into that state of rapture where feelings superseded words and thoughts mesmerized me. “What have you figured out, gorgeous?”

“That I need you.” Her breath hitched as my hand trailed down her stomach toward the burning apex between her thighs. “That you’re my soulmate, Deac.”

Those simple words filled me with more satisfaction than I’d ever felt. Knowing I was the only person she felt could answer her soul’s call for completion made all of the pain and heartache leading up to this moment worth it.

“I love that you feel that way,” I said, focusing only on her pleasure as my fingers glided in and out of her. “I feel exactly the same way. You’re it for me, Mia. There will never be anyone else.”

She moaned, tipping her head back as she gripped my shoulders. “That feels amazing.”

“You’re amazing.” I watched her come apart in my arms. I’d been lucky enough to see most of the world’s wonders, but that sight eclipsed them all.

She helped me out of my clothes slowly, and her eyes were hooded with lust when she finally climbed back onto my lap. Her eyes fastened on mine as she encased me with her moist heat. She squeezed just enough to remind me who was in charge.

“Make love to me,” I whispered, trying to control the urge to explode inside her. My unfailing control was failing me when I needed it most.

“That’s what I intend to do.” She rocked back and forth, moaning when she hit just the right spot. Kissing me deeply, she pulled away as her body trembled.

I held her hips firmly, steering her body through her release until she’d landed safely on the other side. “I love to watch you like this.” I kissed her neck as she laughed lightly.

“Not as much as I love to watch you.” She gripped the back of my neck and rode me hard, obviously intending to make me lose control. “Now it’s your turn.”

I didn’t have a prayer of fighting her, nor did I want to. I wanted to get lost in the power of our connection, shutting out everyone and everything else until the only thing that mattered was our pleasure.

I groaned, tensing just before I burst inside her. Her eyes sparkled with satisfaction as I surrendered completely to the force of a release that should have rendered me catatonic. We held each other tightly as our breathing returned to normal.

My hands skated over her back before landing on her bottom. “Spend the night with me tonight.”

“Okay.”

I chuckled. “That was easier than I thought.”

“What can I say?” she asked, smirking as she pulled back. “I missed you.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

“We’re going to be okay.” She looked deeply into my eyes, her expression somber. “No matter what happens, we’re going to face it together. You’re not alone anymore. That means no more unilateral decisions about what’s best for us. You won’t try to shield me from the things you think might hurt me. You’ll be honest and trust that I can handle it. Agreed?”

Learning to let go of my compulsion to control everything would be a challenge, but she’d proven that no challenge was great enough to keep us apart. “Agreed.”

“I love you.”

Leaning in to kiss her, I murmured, “And I you, theia.”

About the Author

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Other Books by Cheryl Douglas

Now Available

Nashville Nights

Shameless

Fearless

Ruthless

Reckless

Relentless

Heartless

Hopeless

Careless

Nashville Nights Next Generation

High Stakes

Trade Off

Holiday Homecoming

Game On

Burn Out

Fast Track

Time Out

Face Value

Blown Away

Breathless

Imagine

Starting Over (Single Title)

Music City Moguls

Stone Cold

Envious

Forbidden

Haunted

Jaded

Hero Worship

Texas Titans

Strike Out

End Zone

First Down

Cheap Shot

Fast Break (Holiday Novella)

Wild Card

Free Agent

Going For It

Possession

Coming Soon

Book Two in the Starkis Family Series…

Damon

Eleni Litras recognized a kindred spirit when she saw one. Damon loved to have a good time, was allergic to commitment, and was honest to a fault. He wasn’t afraid to speak his mind, even if it meant raising a few eyebrows. She loved that about him. In fact, she feared she may be falling in love with him. But her tragic upbringing taught her trust was a filthy four letter word.

Damon Starkis partied like a rock star most of his life, with little regard for consequences. That was one of the many advantages of being born to a billionaire. But when he got news that rocked his world, he had a choice… grow up or risk losing out on the opportunity of a lifetime. Change didn’t come easily, but he was proud of his new life and the man he’d become, except for one little problem. The secrets and lies were piling up and if Eleni found out, she’d never forgive him.